• 54 results
  • 1
  • 2
#1 Posted by SockemJetpack (410 posts) -

While doing my customary "float around the internet until I become sleepy" routine I found a story that is just begging for discussion. In the U.K. there is a guy who dresses up like a clown ( an evil clown...! ) and basically you pay this gentleman to stalk your child for the week leading up to their birthday. He sends texts and phone calls which warn the kid that they're being watched and will be attacked. He also stalks and sets up traps for them among other things.Then at some point over that week he randomly runs in and throws cake in the kids face.

Don't believe me? The story is here.

I was floored by this. Not only because clowns unsettle me in the first place but because I cannot fathom how frickin' terrifying this would be as a kid... or hell even as an adult. I would assume that if the kid goes to their parents and tells them about the texts and stuff they dismiss it like they do in horror movies. Since they're in on the joke they could "safely" pretend to not believe the kid and go on about how their imagination is running wild.

Would you do that to your kid? If you did would it be as a punishment? If it were done to you when you were younger how do you think you would react? I mean... at that point your practically in your own horror movie. It would a hell of a story to tell your shrink 10 years later I suppose.

#2 Posted by Tilghan (19 posts) -

I think I might be just enough of an asshole to do this to my kid.. Though, things like this may be the reason I don't have a kid... Or a wife for that matter.

#3 Posted by JaredA (827 posts) -

I think if parents did that to there kid, the kid would wind up killing the clown out of fear for there life...

#4 Posted by Danteveli (1210 posts) -

No because the kid would end up pretty messed up and did the same to me later.

#5 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (197 posts) -

Wha-WHY would anyone do that to their kid???

That would be so terrifying to me.

#6 Posted by RPGee (763 posts) -

This is actually in Lucerne, Switzerland, not the U.K. Semantics, I know, but context is important.

Regardless, that's what I call an interesting birthday present. It's the type that stays around with you, as you pay for your child's future therapy.

#7 Posted by JJOR64 (19046 posts) -

Wow...

#8 Posted by Doctorchimp (4078 posts) -

As someone who's afraid of clowns I'm pretty sure I'd gift some bodily harm on the person who gave this to me.

#9 Posted by jonnyboy (2920 posts) -

Relax, it's just one of our many new initiatives employed to ensure we retain our leadership in knife crime statistics. Brought to you courtesy of Great Britain: "Fucking up your kids since 1979".

#10 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

I'm horrified of clowns, so no.

I don't think there is anything scarier than the clown from It. That movie scarred me as a kid.

"All things float down here... AND SO WILL YOU!"

Oh heeeeell nawwwwww.

#11 Posted by Aetheldod (3681 posts) -

Wha.... why??? Who the fuck would do that to their kid???? Thats some effed up shit (and no I never liked pranks , they are shit things to do to other out to get some laughs ... deprorable)

#12 Posted by gamefreak9 (2396 posts) -

Just when I thought bdays were boring!

#13 Posted by mandude (2669 posts) -

Only if I'm not legally liable, as the parent, when he gets shot in the face by my kid.

#14 Posted by RandomInternetUser (6789 posts) -

Yes, I would want to mentally torment my child for a week.

What the fuck. No, that is a horrible thing to do to a kid.

#15 Posted by Village_Guy (2656 posts) -

Holy shit, talk about trying to mental scar your child for life.

This is horrible, and of course I wouldn't do that!

#16 Edited by TheDudeOfGaming (6078 posts) -

If you even consider doing this to your child, put a fucking bullet in your evil brain.

#17 Posted by wefwefasdf (6729 posts) -

Doing it to a friend or enemy would be much more funny.

#18 Posted by rawrsair (821 posts) -

I would be terrified if that ever happened to me, so probably wouldn't do it to a kid.

#19 Posted by supamon (1334 posts) -

Why the fuck would I want to torture my kid?? In what situation is this considered okay? Is this the same as telling your kid to touch a heated pot to teach him fire is dangerous? What?

#20 Posted by S0ndor (2716 posts) -

That's just wrong. I would scrounge together all my savings and hire the biggest kid in class to beat the shit out of that clown.

#21 Posted by Jay444111 (2441 posts) -

@S0ndor said:

That's just wrong. I would scrounge together all my savings and hire the biggest kid in class to beat the shit out of that clown.

Dude... if that was in America the clown would be SHOT! DEAD! I don't think anyone would blame the kid either due to how fucking terrifying that is.

I am not afraid of clowns... but I am afraid psycho clowns that stalk you.

@SpikeSpiegel said:

Doing it to a friend or enemy would be much more funny.

Doing it to an enemy would be amazing as you watch him start to lose his very mind as he looks over his should for a killer clown. That would be amazing to watch... not to a friend though, I would never be able to do something so horrible to a friend.

@NlGHTCRAWLER said:

I'm horrified of clowns, so no.

I don't think there is anything scarier than the clown from It. That movie scarred me as a kid.

"All things float down here... AND SO WILL YOU!"

Oh heeeeell nawwwwww.

Here's a great critical review of that movie!

@JaredA said:

I think if parents did that to there kid, the kid would wind up killing the clown out of fear for there life...

Exactly. In America, it would only take three days until he told a friend about this crazy stalker clown and as soon as they see him, boom, either A, They call the cops, B, decide that is too insane and decide to get guns from their parents hiding places and kill the clown. Or C, unable to sleep for life due to this all and develops a fear of clowns so deep that a single balloon could cause a panic attack.

#22 Posted by AlexanderSheen (5073 posts) -

And at the end of the week, he rapes the kid, kill it and bury the bo- The fuck is this?! Paying a guy to stalk my kid? Holy bonkers, Batman!

#23 Posted by Agrammon (91 posts) -

@SockemJetpack: Whoever does this, must be out of their fucking minds! That is absolutely nuts.

#24 Posted by InternetCrab (1504 posts) -

Hell no, this will mentally fuck up their childhood, and will only lead to bad shit.

And i'm terrified of clowns. Damn fake smile, unfunny bastards...

#25 Posted by Guided_By_Tigers (8061 posts) -

That's fucked up.

#26 Posted by BonOrbitz (2243 posts) -

Fuck that. Instead can I send him after an ex-girlfriend?

#27 Posted by Veektarius (4968 posts) -

Well, I think this is both tasteful and hilarious.

#28 Posted by dagas (2899 posts) -

@rawrsair said:

I would be terrified if that ever happened to me, so probably wouldn't do it to a kid.

Probably?

I like how confident you sound.

#29 Posted by JeanLuc (3604 posts) -

Why would you do that to your kid?! Its not like they'd find it funny. They'd think their parents are fucking crazy people who hate them.

#30 Posted by NegativeCero (3024 posts) -

Yeah, this would scare the shit out of me and no I wouldn't do this to anyone. I wonder if they intended this to be to "straighten" kids out. Like the teenager who does what they want and ignores the parents.

#31 Posted by PenguinDust (12598 posts) -

Sometimes exposure is the best way to cure someone of their phobia.

#32 Posted by GoofyGoober (937 posts) -

I'd do this to someone I really don't like with bad nerves, happy birthday bitch.

#33 Posted by Video_Game_King (36272 posts) -

What child?

#34 Posted by rawrsair (821 posts) -

@dagas: I didn't even realise I had said probably. Blimey. Bad considering I work with kids!

#35 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

@Jay444111: That's cute how you think i'll watch that. Anything that has to do with It is my enemy.

#36 Posted by deathstriker666 (1337 posts) -

@Jay444111 said:

Dude... if that was in America the clown would be SHOT! DEAD! I don't think anyone would blame the kid either due to how fucking terrifying that is.

Of course, the self-defense law has been abused for worse reasons. Europe lol

#37 Posted by BraveToaster (12588 posts) -

I don't have any children, but I wouldn't do anything like this if I had one. That just seems like a really good way to fuck up a kid for the rest of his/her life.

#38 Posted by iAmJohn (6131 posts) -

If it was really funny, yes.

#39 Posted by RenMcKormack (1074 posts) -

This could never happen in the US. (1) Legal gun ownership is pretty high, even where I grew up in Massachusetts kids around 12 are pretty comfortable shooting a gun. (2) creepy clown man shows up and we got a self-defense murder case.

#40 Posted by RenMcKormack (1074 posts) -

My Comment aside i would totally do this because i have NO SOUL.

#41 Posted by Ramone (2975 posts) -

If I had an annoying kid I would totally do this to them just to show the power I have over them.

#42 Posted by stryker1121 (1564 posts) -

@NlGHTCRAWLER: I'm sorry to do this to you, but I could not resist. Consider this a form of therapy..facing your fear!

#43 Posted by NlGHTCRAWLER (1215 posts) -

@stryker1121: ................ dude. Not cool.

#44 Posted by PixelPrinny (1030 posts) -

No, but I would totally pay a company to basically do what the movie The Game did as a gift to my brother or a friend. The whole concept of it was awesome. Of course I'd need a few million dollars to blow on such an event, but that's beside the point.

#45 Posted by DukesT3 (1941 posts) -

Not my kid. My sister yeah.

#46 Posted by mikethekilla (328 posts) -

Sounds like a good way to ensure that your child grows up and murders everyone in the house.

#47 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6309 posts) -

Holy fuck. That would scare the fuck out of seven year old me.

#48 Posted by Tireyo (6451 posts) -

No parent should do that to a child.

#49 Posted by Arker101 (1474 posts) -

That has to be the biggest dick move ever, right? I can't think of anything that malicious, besides straight up murder. Nah, just make their life a living hell leading up to their birthday.

Only two reasons I can think of to do this. The person broke something that cost more then $500 and didn't reimburse you. They publicly embarrassed you.

#50 Posted by NoobSauceG7 (1262 posts) -

no...