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Posted by falserelic (5480 posts) 1 year, 3 months ago

Poll: You think chivalry is dead? (216 votes)

Chivalry will never die being smooth with the ladies always leads to victory, I can be a nice guy at the right times. 46%
It died and its six feet under, fuck chivalry, the ladies killed it and don't deserve it. 23%
Im a playa first and for most, being a pure hearted gentleman isn't my style. 3%
It could work, but I have mixed feelings about it. 13%
I got no opinion on it Im not good at getting a girl's attention. 15%

(Chivalry is being a gentlemen towards a lady, if you was curious about what it means)

I thought I'll make this topic after having a funny conversation with my cousin. Basically she feels like guys don't try to be gentlemen anymore, and gave me a lecture about how I should treat a lady. Me personally I can be a gentlemen if I want too, but depending on the girl that may not work. Hell most of the girls I've met had some fucked up attitudes, and I wouldn't even think about doing something special for them.

#51 Edited by Aetheldod (3681 posts) -

Nope ... but has bad rep for making it seems that women cant do things which I think it is silly D: ... I am chivalrious out of respect ... not any sort of misogynistic power house trip.

Edit: And yes I m chivalsious to other people too , even if I dont like them in how they look/are , unless they are assholes , fuck em´.

#52 Posted by SoldierG654342 (1805 posts) -

@spaceinsomniac said:

Hopefully it is. Altering your behavior just because someone is female, not because a specific request or agreement is made, is creepy and weird. My girlfriend actually thanked me back when we first started dating for not doing stereotypically chivalrous things like opening and holding door and insisting on paying because she finds that type of stuff belittling. She likes being treated like a person, not an abstract concept know as "lady."

Did you ASK her if she would like you to pay for your date? Then you altered your behavior JUST because someone is female.

Ever go out with a male friend and offer to pay for their dinner and / or movie? If you did, would you not be bothered if they kept expecting you to pay and never offered to pay in return? Is it just as likely that would bother you with a man as it would with a woman you were dating?

I'm upfront with the fact that I put the onus of payment on the invite-er. Regardless of the genders or situations, I except to pay someone's way if I invite them along barring an agreement otherwise. Since I invited her, I assumed I would pay (this was a topic that had already come up before), but I didn't insist on it when she decided to. "Insist" is the key word. Paying for a date isn't a bad thing, it's never letting the lady because "they aren't supposed to" that's bad.

There is nothing "creepy or weird" about a man altering his behavior around women, and all of this is really quite subjective in the first place.

It is subjective, which is why you shouldn't just assume. Motive is important too. I find it incredibly creepy for a guy to act in a way that he would usually not just because it'll get get him dates or laid (which is what this thread was mostly about when I posted).

#53 Posted by Levio (1785 posts) -

Of course chivalry is alive. I am a knight of the round table, and as such I am sworn to such chivalry.

#54 Posted by troll93 (391 posts) -

I just don't be a dick.

#55 Posted by troll93 (391 posts) -

I just don't be a dick.

#56 Edited by TruthTellah (9396 posts) -

Of course not. Chivalry toward one another is still quite alive. :)

At least, in the sense of pursuing personal courtesy, bravery, and honor for the betterment of yourself and others.

Online
#57 Edited by PillClinton (3292 posts) -

Dude, your polls. Dude, your grammar. Dude.

#58 Posted by d_breeze (226 posts) -

I don't necessarily think chivalry (in the sense of the poll) is dead, especially since so many guys are still chivalrous. A lot of them will pay on at least the first date, and they will open and hold doors open and things like that. Some things have really died down, like pulling out the lady's chair (I always thought that was really awkward, but that's just me) but the other things I feel are perfectly acceptable and not outdated at all.

When I was in college (a whole month ago...) whenever a group of friends would hang out and play games or study, if a lady was going to leave to go back to her dorm or apartment, one or more of the guys would always insist on walking her home unless she was going with at least 2 other girls. This was chivalrous, and something that they would do specifically for the ladies, but I didn't see anything wrong with it.

That said, I do think that women should at least offer to split the bill on any date though, and opening and holding doors is really just courtesy, so it isn't really gender-specific. I hold doors open for everyone.

#59 Edited by ArtelinaRose (1858 posts) -

@immortalsaiyan said:

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

Nailed it.

Kaboom.

Also I hate the idea of being chivalrous towards a woman cause it "might get you some." If your intent is to fuck her, you're not exactly doing it out of respect, are you?

#60 Posted by mano521 (1231 posts) -

Naw man tons of people still play chivalry.

#61 Edited by supamon (1334 posts) -

Always be nice to the ladies and be bros to the guys. Some of the "chivalrous" actions like holding the door for someone are just basic courtesy. You don't need to be "chivalrous" for your girls, you can be polite and courteous to everyone, even strangers. It's not that hard.

Having said that, plenty of girls have told me they preferred to be treated as a lady and like being chased. If making them feel special is being chivalrous then I guess it ain't dead at all.

#62 Posted by JJWeatherman (14562 posts) -

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

You say that and technically it's true. But literally every first date I've been on everything from me opening car doors, paying for the evening, and other stupid stuff is what got me laid or a second date. Any woman I've been with tells me they like being treated like a lady from a gentleman. Both sides expect or are impressed by different things.

Gender equality is probably more important than getting "laid." Almost certainly. Probably. ...Maybe.

But no. It is.

#63 Posted by Three0neFive (2300 posts) -

The modern equivalent of chivalry is self-professed nice guys wearing fedoras and jorts.

#64 Posted by development (2559 posts) -

It's only dead as much as it's seen as socially... odd. If you can pull it off without being super awkward about it then you're good.

Paying the full dinner bill, though? That old habit will die as the finer points of gender equality are ironed out. Women are no longer stay-at-home wives. They have jobs and can pay for their own food.

#65 Edited by Fattony12000 (7588 posts) -
Never. Dead.

#66 Edited by Tarsier (1076 posts) -

@artelinarose said:

@immortalsaiyan said:

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

Nailed it.

Kaboom.

Also I hate the idea of being chivalrous towards a woman cause it "might get you some." If your intent is to fuck her, you're not exactly doing it out of respect, are you?

we need to surgically remove any physical differences between the two genders. its the only way to ensure that this form of inequality never happens again. also, genetic modification of babies, and grow them in tubes.

#67 Posted by Lifestrike (482 posts) -

People will always act courageously to defend those that they hold dear.

Regardless of gender!

#68 Posted by GnaTSoL (836 posts) -

I hate how showing 'chivalry' now a-days means you're lookin to bang.

Being nice just to be nice ain't a thing anymore. I show universal chivalry naturally. I don't do it to accomplish anything.

You know what REALLY killed Chivalry? Modern lust frenzy. Interpret that how you will.

#69 Posted by GnaTSoL (836 posts) -

Fuck bitches, get money.

When my album drops....... That'll be the name of the first track. XD lol

#70 Edited by Darji (5294 posts) -

@immortalsaiyan said:

@brendan said:

The whole chivraly thing is historically based around gender inequality, so lets just drop the whole thing and be equally polite as human beings.

Nailed it.

Kaboom.

Also I hate the idea of being chivalrous towards a woman cause it "might get you some." If your intent is to fuck her, you're not exactly doing it out of respect, are you?

If that is your intend it is pretty stupid. When I am out i mostly hold doors out for women or let they go first but not because I want to bang her or I think she is pretty but because of that is what a person I am. Do I do the same for men? I do it for elder men sure but not for the younger ones. I do it with a smile and move on. Do I feel better by doing it or superior? Hell no that is just how I was born.

And one more thing if you really think that this is sexist I think you have a serious problem. But I guess people in the west have too much privileges and freedom if they already have to think about that while women elsewere getting killed by the judges just because they were married and got raped which is adultery. Why not try to fight at the right places instead of such meaningless ones.

#71 Posted by millionthlayla (32 posts) -

I like holding doors open for people, it's a nice thing to do!

#72 Edited by BigJeffrey (5140 posts) -

The servers were pretty populated last i checked

#73 Edited by CheapPoison (743 posts) -

Doesn't Chivalry die with feminism?
Like mentioned above, if we are equal.. it is kind of looking down on someone.

Common courtesy seems to be the more relevant question, which i still think is present.

#74 Posted by YOU_DIED (703 posts) -
#75 Posted by Nictel (2430 posts) -

I like holding doors open for people, it's a nice thing to do!

Until you get a 5 minute lecture on how she is not some weak woman who needs to have the door hold open for her. I still do it though because fuck the kind of feminism where you can't be kind anymore.

#76 Posted by SomeJerk (3361 posts) -

Hold door open for old man, thanks.
Hold door open for man, thanks.
Hold door open for young man, thanks.
Hold door open for teenage boy, thanks if he's learned that good habit.

Hold door open for old woman, thanks.
Hold door open for woman, thanks.
Hold door open for young woman, FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING RAPIST CHUVANIST MURDERER PEDOPHILE WOMANHATER YOU'RE PUTTING DOWN WOMEN EVERYWHERE MAKING US SEEM LIKE THE WEAKER SEX IM CALLING THE COPS AND SAYING YOU RAPED ME RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE.
Hold door open for teenage girl, the younger the more likely to say thanks and not act like above.

If I hold the door open for a non-white young woman straight outta Somalia or Syria (we're taking in a lot of people from both countries here) I get the word for "thanks" that they've learned from a Swedish for Immigrants class, and god bless. This isn't wait for 30 seconds away with the door held open shit, this is 1-2-footsteps-ahead holding the door open, a situation where many wouldn't give a rats about the door and just let it close in the face of the person behind. Hold the door open, if someone isn't too busy in deep thought to talk (even I am sometimes) it's a good indicator of what they are like on the inside. You can see that most people are beautiful.

Online
#77 Posted by millionthlayla (32 posts) -

@nictel said:

Until you get a 5 minute lecture on how she is not some weak woman who needs to have the door hold open for her. I still do it though because fuck the kind of feminism where you can't be kind anymore.

I'd imagine few would react that way, though. I've never encountered it. Then again, I don't get out much & I'm a girl, so...might have something to do with it. I'd personally appreciate it. :)

#78 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

I was raised to do that sort of stuff and can't help it now, giving up your seat all the time is kind of a pain.

#79 Posted by Xymox (2111 posts) -

@nictel said:

Until you get a 5 minute lecture on how she is not some weak woman who needs to have the door hold open for her. I still do it though because fuck the kind of feminism where you can't be kind anymore.

I'd imagine few would react that way, though. I've never encountered it. Then again, I don't get out much & I'm a girl, so...might have something to do with it. I'd personally appreciate it. :)

I'd imagine it wouldn't be much fun to be around a girl who constantly makes the people she's with worry about what doors they do or do not open.

But yeeeah, I don't think it's very common to get a lecture about female empowerment when holding a door for someone. Besides, I'd like to think it's common courtesy to hold a door for someone, regardless of what's in their pants...?


#80 Posted by Darji (5294 posts) -

@sploder said:

I was raised to do that sort of stuff and can't help it now, giving up your seat all the time is kind of a pain.

The seat thing is total different for me. 'I only offer my sea to either a pregnant women or to a older person who has trouble walking etc. And only if there are not many other seats available.

#81 Posted by Clonedzero (4200 posts) -

@nictel said:

@millionthlayla said:

I like holding doors open for people, it's a nice thing to do!

Until you get a 5 minute lecture on how she is not some weak woman who needs to have the door hold open for her. I still do it though because fuck the kind of feminism where you can't be kind anymore.

I had that happen to me before...I wasn't even holding it open for her, she was on her phone, i was holding it open for the guy in crutches 20 feet behind her...

#82 Posted by TMBaker (232 posts) -

#83 Edited by falserelic (5480 posts) -

After seeing the whole bigger picture about the term chivalry. It kinda makes me want to remake the thread, but it is interesting seeing the different view points of other people.

#84 Posted by Darji (5294 posts) -

@tmbaker said:

Man all this sexism and patriarchy .back then... Thank god we live in different times...

/sarcasm

#85 Edited by AlexanderSheen (5073 posts) -

I try to be a gentleman towards everyone in real life not just women. Maybe because of people's prejudice towards me (being a half blood gipsy and all), but this is my way of trying to prove them wrong and frankly it feels way better to be a "good guy." The effort that goes into the little things people appreciate (holding the door, giving up your seat, making way for bicyclists, help them when they need help with something, etc.) is basically nothing, so why not do it.