Who wants a Sgt. Johnson code?

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#1 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -

Want a Sgt. Johnson Firefight code? You don't? Oh. Well then never mind.
 
But, if you happen to change your mind, and you do, all you have to do is make me laugh. 
 
Seriously. 
 
That's it. 
 
No specific picture to photoshop, no certain category of joke to make, nothing. Just be your best comedian for a moment. 
 
It's not much of a reward, but the requirements don't even make you have to make something yourself. Find a motivational poster, find a lolcat, find a great .gif, find a great blonde joke. I don't care. Just make sure I find it funny (although, pictures are my favorite).
 
Contest ends whenever I log in on Monday morning (probably around 9am PST), so have them in by then. 
 
Top / Funniest three get a code.

#2 Posted by Tylea002 (2295 posts) -

This is an interesting contest. If I had ODST I'd totally enter. But I don't and I'm not funny. The best I can come up with in a pinch is that Chuck Norris has a list of Johnson facts. Which is terrrriiibllle!
 
But yeah nice way to come up with a fun contest, I congratulate you sir!

#3 Posted by Druminator (1678 posts) -

this just made me laugh so i'll share.
 

#4 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -
#5 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -
@AgentJ: Did you get that from my images on Giant Bomb?
 
Still love it.
#6 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -
#7 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -
@AgentJ said:
" @choffy21 said:
" @AgentJ: Did you get that from my images on Giant Bomb?  Still love it. "
Nah, I got it from my Hilarious Pictures for use in Forums thread "
I got it from there as well. Great thread, good sir.
#8 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -
@choffy21 said:
" @AgentJ said:
" @choffy21 said:
" @AgentJ: Did you get that from my images on Giant Bomb?  Still love it. "
Nah, I got it from my Hilarious Pictures for use in Forums thread "
I got it from there as well. Great thread, good sir. "
Just went and looked, and apparently I put it there. i think i got it from Halolz.com
#9 Posted by Red (5995 posts) -
#10 Posted by OmegaPirate (5522 posts) -

Also 
 
An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman walk into a bar 
 
We didnt invite the welshman cos he's a cunt
#11 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -

Look, just make the whole "Hilarious Pictures for Use in Forums" thread my entry for this contest. After all, I did start that thread.

#12 Posted by JJOR64 (18989 posts) -

#13 Posted by Atomasist (2818 posts) -

#14 Posted by Tylea002 (2295 posts) -
@OmegaPirate: If he wins with THAT, I must get the sympathy Johnson because STOP USING THAT IMAGE OP.
#15 Posted by OmegaPirate (5522 posts) -

lmao! :P come on! who snitched?!

#16 Posted by dbz1995 (4790 posts) -

73sss and out.

#17 Edited by Kenny (66 posts) -

I don't know why but every time I see these two pictures I can't help but burst into laughter.


#18 Posted by Pie (7098 posts) -

 This always makes me laugh
I might as well spit out some lyrics whilst im here aswell....     SO THE OTHER DAY I WAS CRUSING THE STREETS OF TR WHEN I SEE THIS GANGSTA TRYING TO BEAT DOWN A BEGGAR SO IG O OVER AND GO "HOLD IT HO FRIEND" AND HES ALL LIKE "THIS IS MY FUCKING BEGGAR G, I FOUND HIM SO I GET HIS MONEY" THEN I GO ALL INTELECTUAL ON HIS ASS AND SAY "THIS PIMPS NO PIMP G, HE JUST A OLD MAN WITH NO DIZZLE" THEN EVEN THOUGH IM TRYING TO HELP THIS TWAMP HE GOES "IM ONLY 15" THEN HE GETS UP OFF THE FLOOR ALL BADMAN LIKE AND TRYS TO MAKE A MOVE ON ME WHEN THIS BLUE HO COMES OVER AND TRYS TO BREAK US UP BUT I WERENT HAVING NO OF THIS SO I GET OUT MY COLT AND START DUMPING ROUNDS GANGSTA STYLE INTO THIS PENGUIN DOWN THE STREET ":O" THE HO GOES WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE BEGGAR GETS OF THE FLOOR ANP PULLS OUT A 12 INCH LONG PIMP CANE "STICK 'EM UP!IM WITH THE PIA" BECAUSE I HAVE ONE OF THEM THIS HERE THERE BRAINS I CHEESE IT BUT THIS OTHER GANGSAT SCREAMS LIKE A LITTLE SISSY AND RUNS INTO THE WALL KNOCKING HIM OUT BUT THIS BLUE HO DONT NO WHAT TO DO NOW BECAUSE THE BEGGARS LIKE ALL OFFICIAL NOW SO OUT OF CONFUSUIN SHE JUST TAKES OFF ALL HER CLOTHES AND STARTS DANCING INSIDE THE PENGUIN I SHOT DOWN IN COLD BLOOD SO NOW I HAVE A DILEMA OF WETHER OR NOT TO GO BACK AND TRY GET ALL GROOVY ON THE BLUE OR TO CARRY ON RUNNING AND AVOID THE PIA BUT CAUSE IM CLEVER I GO OVER TO THE PIA TWAMP AND START SPITTIN SNAKE VENOM ALL OVER HIS THERE THIS OVER FACE AND HES LIKE "ARGHHHHHHHHH THE BEES, NO NOT THE EYES!!!!!!!!" BUT BECAUSE IM STUPID I STOP SPITTING BECAUSE I FEEL FOR THE GUY BUT HE JUST SHOOTS ON ME WITH HIS 12 INCH PIMP CANE AND IM LIKE "ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH I HATE FITTY ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"BUT WHEN HE HEARS ME SAY THAT HE RESPECTS ME BECUASE HE DOESNT LIKE FITTY EITHER SO WE BOTH DECIDE TO GO DOWN TO THE LOCAL SKITTLES SHOP AND STEAL A HARDCORE MARS BAR THAT IN A CRUEL TWIST OF FATE I FREEZER IN A CHILLAXO BOX AND THEN SLAM OVER THE HEAD OF THE PIA AND STEAL ALL HIS MONEY!BARP BRAP BRAP BUT OH NO IN THE SKY I SEE A ZOMBIE ROCKET SO I QUICKLY SKETCH A DRAWING OF IT SO FUTURE GENERATIONS MAY LEARN FROM MY ERROR 


THEN I DIE
 
The end
#19 Posted by EpicBenjamin (625 posts) -
 
#20 Posted by Breadfan (6590 posts) -

#21 Posted by Gorillawhat (1259 posts) -

FUPA Fat Upper Pubic Area 
 

#23 Posted by ArchScabby (5809 posts) -
@Gorillawhat said:
" FUPA Fat Upper Pubic Area 
 

"
HAWT!!!
#24 Edited by RichardLOlson (1852 posts) -

2  men walked into a bar, (Joe and Tom)......they both go to the pool table to shoot some pool, Joe puts in a dollar to get the balls out, as Tom  begins to put the last balls into the rack, he turns to Joe and ask "Do you have the eight ball?"  So Joe throws him a electrical tape ball of coke on the pool table.  Tom picks up the electrical tape ball and thinks its the chalk and begins to chalk his pool cue.  He then blows on the pool cue and begins to geek out.  Joe looks over at Tom and says "So Tom are u ready to break the.....what the fuck....man are u ok?", then he looks he notices half the coke missing from the electrical tape ball.  And then says "Oh I guess you meant the "eight ball" for pool, not coke....since you've never done coke before."  "Hell I thought you were just feeling ballsy since you were crashing at my house tonight."
 
 
I hope you think this is funny enough to get that code.  If not.....oh well....It was the only thing that came to mind.

#25 Edited by TooWalrus (13197 posts) -
@choffy21:
A Halo thread my not be the most appropriate place to post this photo... but I snapped it myself one unfortunate day, and I love it.


Oh, and if you're into motivational posters and that shit, I did make one. Maybe you can come up with a better caption...?


It's worth noting that I still bought ODST the day it came out... despite what that poster implies.
#26 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -

Wow. The view-to-post ratio is abnormally high. Only ~15 entries when there could have been over 1000!

#27 Posted by OmegaPirate (5522 posts) -
@TooWalrus said:  
 
Wow, in my eyes you win sir, that is both a brilliantly constructed series of events in the first place - and a witty and relevant demotivator- i laughed ^_^
#28 Posted by Zabant (1239 posts) -

So i hear MW2 is being distributed by square enix in japan. I've finaly come up with a way that can make this game sell bigtime over there.
#29 Posted by Ineedaname (4319 posts) -
@choffy21 said:
" Wow. The view-to-post ratio is abnormally high. Only ~15 entries when there could have been over 1000! "
Over 9000!
#30 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -

Bump for great justice! More people need to enter! A simple joke could win you Sgt. Avery Johnson!

#31 Posted by Breadfan (6590 posts) -

#32 Posted by c1337us (5751 posts) -
@Gorillawhat said:
" FUPA Fat Upper Pubic Area 
 

"
I am eating my fucking lunch.
#33 Posted by Shadow (4980 posts) -

#34 Posted by William (441 posts) -

:\
#35 Posted by LeetBalla (698 posts) -

I guess more people stole Sgt. Johnson codes from work than you thought. 

#36 Posted by WilliamRLBaker (4777 posts) -
#37 Posted by lucas_kelly (769 posts) -


#38 Posted by OmegaPirate (5522 posts) -

#39 Edited by freeground (83 posts) -

 


 


 
#40 Posted by Radar (889 posts) -

#41 Edited by Jack_Daniels (1414 posts) -

Ill throw my hat into the ring with two of the funniest things Ive seen on the net in eons... Well the ones that made an impression on me big enough to remember 
 
      Oh and dude check out this link to amazon   Read some of the review, if you havent seen this yet you will laugh.  
 


...
 

#42 Posted by BulletStorm (487 posts) -

Here's something funny. Sgt. Johnson is just the Rookie with his helmet off. Yup, Sgt. Johnson is the hot preorder item and it's just a helmetless Rookie. 

#43 Posted by nanikore (2740 posts) -

#44 Posted by TooWalrus (13197 posts) -
@choffy21: Hey Choffy, it's almost midnight! Who'd ya choose?
#45 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -

Oh shit! Totally forgot! PM's being sent out now!

#46 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -

Codes sent. Thanks to everyone for entering.

#47 Posted by Cronick420 (1 posts) -

 

#48 Posted by choffy21 (1376 posts) -
@Cronick420: Way to be 6 days late.
#49 Posted by inika220 (1 posts) -

(Must be read with and Italian accent) One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. Ina morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy.    
#50 Posted by BlackIrish05 (348 posts) -

Sgt. Avery Johnson huh. He must be tough to have a girl's name.

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