Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days

Oh, where to begin with you, Kane & Lynch? I never had the honor of experiencing you're less than mediocre first outing as Dead Men, and yet here I am reviewing you're chance at redemption. It's less than ideal, I know, but you're second game certainly caught my eye and held my interest long enough to give your new game a try. Let's break it down, shall we?

Although I didn't experience the first game, the opening cinematic for Dog Days gave me enough of a glimpse into their past and gritty lifestyle that I had a pretty good grasp of what their "buddy" dynamic entailed. I honestly didn't care much after that. We come in at the point where Kane meets Lynch on the streets of Shanghai, and Lynch immediately asks for a favor in helping him track down a certain "Brady" character. From there, things pretty much go to hell in a handbasket, and that's putting it lightly. For reasons I still can't figure out, either Kane or Lynch accidentally shot Brady's girlfriend, who just so happened to be the daughter of Shanghai's resident crime lord, "Big Boss", and now they're on the run from his thugs and the Shanghai police, who are under his thumb. In addition, there's also a gun-trade deal with a man called Glazer that goes bad, also thanks to K&L's mixup with Big Boss. Eventually, the Shanghai underground catches up with them, and Lynch's girlfriend, Xiu, is killed. This throws Lynch into a frenzy, and instead of running from Big Boss, K&L decide to go kill him instead. Great idea guys.

Much of the game's story is comprised of terrible dialogue. This is probably the first time I've complained about something like this, but it just got so ridiculous I couldn't give it a pass. This game is filled to the brim with classic lines like, "What the fuck just happened?!", "You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!!", and the generally acceptable, "What the fuck?!" The game wallows in toilet dialogue, and comes across as trying to meet some imaginary quota of how many times the characters can say "fuck" per level. It's gets seriously stupid sometimes, too. Pretty much anytime men with guns show up, it's "What the fuck?!" time. Anytime something just a bit over the top happens, Kane throws out a "What the fuck just happened?".  I know, it's so crazy! It's almost like he's in some kind of video game or something. But seriously guys, gritty does not equal "we have to say fuck every five seconds". Maybe it does.

That's pretty much the gist of the story, and most of it isn't established until about halfway through the single player campaign. I remember thinking to myself, around three to four levels in, that I was extremely confused and that this had better explain some shit right quick or I'm about to get extremely frustrated. Which luckily didn't happen, at least regarding the story of the game. I won't give away the climax of the story, or the lackluster "epilogue" level, but I will say that I beat the game in essentially one sitting of around four hours, which seems to be about right, according to the internet.

The graphics are definitely the highlight of Kane & Lynch 2. You can tell that a lot of care went into crafting the criminal underbelly of Shanghai (and made damn sure that I never want to go there), and the gritty, intentional shitty-ness of the documentary-style shaky-cam is unique in the world of videogames. It especially stands out when sprinting, or "roadie-running", and will probably give many people watching motion sickness. Shaky-cam may have had it's fun the movie world with the likes of Cloverfield and Quarantine, but it adds a sense of urgency and edginess that would otherwise leave the game feeling very generic.

Unfortunately, much of the genericness comes through in the gameplay. K&L2 is very much every other third person shooter you've ever played, and it suffers because of it. If it weren't for the flashiness of the graphics, I would've felt like I was playing a shooter from three or four years ago (which is about when the first K&L showed it's ugly face). The cover mechanics are typical, being mapped to the A-button and allowing for blind-fire and such. There's little variety in the way of guns, and they all carry little weight and almost no impact when firing them, which left me very unsatisfied. I also became very annoyed with the seemingly endless waves of enemies running around who might as well have said "Please shoot me". The AI also brings about the feeling that I'm playing an old game, as well as the endless spawning from doorways.

This leaves me with the multiplayer, which you can luckily experience by yourself in Arcade mode if no one else is online. There are a handful of modes such as "Fragile Alliance", in which you break into a vault, steal some money, and make a run for the getaway van while also either working as a team or leaving your teammates to face the cops. There's also "Undercover Cop", which is like Fragile Alliance, but one player is randomly chosen as a cop and has to eliminate as many of the other players as possible. There are a couple other game types, but I didn't get a chance to play them. There are only six maps, and the rounds go by extremely fast, so experience with multiplayer will most likely be as short-lived as the single player.

All in all, Kane & Lynch 2 is a mediocre effort at best. Granted, it has an extremely nice, glossy coat of paint on the outside, and it does have some shiny rims, but it can't work on looks alone. Beneath that flashy exterior is sorely lacking and outdated gameplay that just can't live up to my expectations for third person shooters these days. I was just getting used to the game's characters and the story when it ended, and all I was left with was a largely generic experience. Dog Days, indeed.