So, I'm going around the ship talking to the crew.  And I talk to Kaiden, and when I end the conversation, he says he "needs time to process my response, but that he'd love to (or something like that, don't remember the exact quote.)"  But I'm going after Liara and I don't wanna flirt with Kaiden.  I start over from the save and try the conversation again, and it looks like that's the only option available for ending the conversation!  Is there anyway that I can talk to Kaiden without flirting?  If I have to avoid talking to dude, I can live with it...

You don't need to avoid talking to him, just make sure you talk to Liara more. Go through her whole chat tree. Eventually Kaiden will show that he knows that you are taken. The dialogue is set to kind of flirt no matter what, but you aren't  really doing it even if it sounds that way.  
 
You may need to ignore some of the options for Kaiden, but you can talk to him about some stuff (things you are curious about or something) and still secure your relationship with Liara.  
 
Basically, just make it obvious that you like Liara more, and the game will respond accordingly.

Thanks.

This annoyed me in the second game too..  regardless of your responses to Jacob and status with other members she always speaks to him in a very flirty tone while leaning against the counter with her legs as far apart as possible.  Should have been an option right off the bat to NOT FLIRT WITH JACOB.
 
Nothing against him of course, but it's a little ridiculous when you have no intention of following that romance.

I played a lady Shepard and got it on with Liara but I still talked to Kaidan alot, I had to be a little rude sometimes to avoid flirting but it worked out just fine

" Even if you do end up flirting with both of them when it comes time you'll be given the choice - I played a game and went after both all the way, later on they'll confront you in the Comm. Room and you'll have to pick Kaiden or Liara - once you make this choice talking to them will not change anything. "