Mega Man
(Figured out who I'm mocking yet?) I think it's safe to say that I'm unashamed of my love for classic Mega Man, but looking back at the game that started it all, I wonder how I fell in love with the series in the first place? And then I realized the first Mega Man game I ever played was Mega Man 2, the holy grail of Mega Man games according to true believers... only heretics and Hungarians think Mega Man 3 was better. So I went in reverse after being entertained by 2, 3, and even 4 before I got a chance to play the game that started it all. So my memories with the original were not very positive.It's not that Mega Man is as terrible as the box art it shamefully wraps itself in, it's just the most bare bones Mega Man game out there... a rare feat considering the series never evolved past the 8 stages and the "Dr. Wily builds robots, starts shit" storyline we've been spoon-fed for over 20 years. And if you think Rush, Beat, Fliptop, Tails, Shadow, and Waluigi, changed the series in profound ways, you're a moron. But Mega Man has a different feel than the others in terms of controls... it's not as tight as later games, which should be no surprise. The controls should improve after 356 sequels and it totally did. But Mega Man 1 (I figure I should put a number ahead of it to make it feel important) is by far the most generic of the Mega Man games and look no further than the 6 Robot Masters. The Robot Master Naming Committee (RMNC) was in its infancy and decided on simple, cookie-cutter names like Fire Man, Bomb Man, and Ice Man, except for Guts Man, a very deceiving name since he throws rocks (shouldn't he be named Rockman?) and not human organs. I assume Nintendo's Nazi censorship rules put a stop to that. If that's not bad enough, figuring out each of their weaknesses is way too easy for a Mega Man game. More recent games made this process excruciating since they normally don't make any sense. Bombs blow up rocks, no fucking way!
If Mega Man 2 were Super Mario Bros. 3, Mega Man 1 would be the Super Mario Bros. 2 of the series... if that makes any sense. Please tell me if that makes sense. You shouldn't miss out on Mega Man 1 just to get the history lesson and learn about the origins of the Mega Man formula that Capcom can never change because of bastards like me that refuse said change. It's still a solid game even if it couldn't completely nail down the formula the first time. You have to give the developers another year or two to find perfection, and another 20 years to slowly chip away at that perfection. So congratulations to Mega Man 1 for winning the Close But No Cigar Award for not being Mega Man 2... or 3... 4, 5, maybe 6.
Review Synopsis
- Still a great game even though you'll find most of the sequels better.
- Uninspired Robot Master names probably conceived by a 4 year old. All that's missing is Police Man.
- Guts Man should be called Rock Man and vice versa.
Speaking of elevator music, did Journey contribute to the original Mega Man soundtrack?
And this was my second YouTube video submission for the intermission. Maybe I chose it because Mega Man and Urkel peaked in popularity at around the same time.
Mega Man 2
(How does one go about reviewing a game that is universally loved by the universe?) I guess I could try to find some miniscule flaw, but alas I found none pertaining to the actual game. Okay I lied, I found a couple minor annoyances, but how can I criticize a game with possibly the most iconic soundtrack of any game in human history? I've got some complaints.I guess I should go through the Mega Man 2 story. Take the story of the previous game, cut and paste, add two more Robot Masters, and done! That's Mega Man 2 in a nutshell. Mega Man didn't reach the point yet where they had to gimmick up the story with predictable twists and mysterious characters that eventually were revealed to be that wascally Wily. Where Mega Man 2 completely obliterates Mega Man 1's legacy is everywhere else. It feels tighter and faster than the original making this the gameplay template of pretty much every Mega Man game from here on out. It still maintains the level design tricks of the previous (spikes, disappearing blocks, stereotypical death pits) yet it adds some new elements like the deadly beams in the Quick Man stage and Metal Man's unconventional conveyor belt system.
The Robot Masters are also a bit less basic (and you can't get more fucking basic than Fire Man) yet not wacky enough to ridicule just yet. Okay, Wood Man begins the long list of dirty robot names, but we're not quite at Centaur Man insanity yet. At least the weapons are more inspired this time around adding the first killer freeze move from Flash Man and Wood Man's Leaf Shield which has been the model for about 40 other weapons throughout the series. However the Arm Cannon eventually becomes the secondary weapon once you take the Metal Blade from Metal Man (aren't all the Robot Bosses technically made of metal?), you'll want that first by the way. Capcom thought making the Metal Blade some kind of super weapon that can destroy nearly every Robot Master with 4 slices could be a Mega Man standard. However I think they went too far with that weapon since Metal Man is also weak to the Metal Blade! How can a boss be vulnerable to its own goddamn weapon in the year 20XX? Also, I think the Metal Blade also regenerates ammo since I never seem to run out of the damn thing. And even the Item power-ups are special unlike their names (Item-1, Item-2, and... yes, the one and only Item-3!)
It's not shocking to say that Mega Man 2 is the best game in the series, but it's because it did everything right without resorting to unnecessary novelties like the Mega Buster, a bluebird of unhappiness, and a garbage can that spits out energy pellets you don't need. However Mega Man 2's popularity made Capcom a lot of money and an excuse to suck out all the awesome out of the Mega Man franchise, and only in its second try. I have to give this the I Created a Monster Award for being so good that Capcom felt obligated to make 4 Mega Man games per week and run the franchise into the ground!
Review Synopsis
- Now with 25% more Robot Bosses!
- Metal beats wood, bubbles, flashers, and metal!? We have to keep this technology from the Iranians.
- The best in the series, but it's all downhill from here, folks.
And apologies to Video_Game_King not trying hard enough to offend him.
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