Fails in every way
With barely dusting off the code from the PS2 Onechanbara games, D3 has put out a game that will make most gamers turn away. Considering the game is nothing but half-naked girls, that's an accomplishment. Bikini Samurai Squad will be a guilty pleasure for few people, but most normal players out there who don't find appeal in tasteless garbage wouldn't play this game beyond the first hour. The game revolves around female exploitation, opening with a shower scene and the lead girl teasing her private parts while her equally skanky sister bursts into the bathroom to alert her about a zombie apcalypse in Tokyo. Naturally, the two ladys put on their best thongs, comboy hats, and school girl outfits while grabbing a weapon on the way out the door.
Onechanbara is basically a hack-and-slash game. While that would sound interesting to several of you, note that this game has no redeemable qualities. In fact, you could run down a general list of what makes up a shoddy game and you could easily describe Onechanbara. Repetitive environments, monotonousness combat, ugly visuals, bad animations, piss-poor control, horrible level design, invisible walls, laughable dialog, bad story, tasteless atmosphere, no online, uninspired, and little variation among levels. It's a very Japanese take on the hack-and-slash genre, in the worst way possible.
In the game itself, you'll play as one of a few different girls battling (pressing X a lot) hordes of zombies. What D3 almost did right was the co-op. Yes, you and a friend can play as hot girls and play through this buckets of blood adventure. What they failed on is not making the co-op online, and you can't even play locally on every level. Onechanbara likes to pretend it has some consecutive story going on.
You may be tempted to forgive the shit that Bikini Samurai Squad is for the price point of $40.00, and that it's obvious the game is self-aware of what it is. I would only forgive the shortcomings if it was an 800 point XBLA game, but the overall review would still be negative. Understand this game is a disaster is every way a game can be, and has no right being bought by anybody.
