I Hate You Mega Man

Jerk
Mega Man 9 hates you, and isn't afraid to let you know. Here's news for you Mega Man 9. I hate you back. Please let me have one more E-Tank.

It's just as hard as everyone says. Most games of the Mega Man 2 era require memorization, but this game, ostentiably a throw back to MM2, takes it to the next level. We'll give you a blind jump to a landing block that isn't there yet, sure, but this time, let's put it over some spikes.

Do you know what else needs some spikes? The ceiling. And another in front of the place you want to jump. And, what the hell, how about an unblockable laser beam. Fine. No, good. You do that, Mega Man 9. I *want* you to do that, because I've been playing too many games that make me feel competent and are fun to play. This constant failure is making me humble, and...

Goddamit! Fucking spikes!

A-Hole
The end result is a game that requires a level of OCD that should probably be treated by medical professionals, not encouraged by winning a boss fight. The achievements (on the Xbox Live Arcade Version) are further tuned for the obsessive compulsive. You want twenty points? Beat the game in an hour. You want twenty more? Beat it five times in a single day. The last five points? I'll get the rubber glove on. Now, turn to the left and cough. You might feel slight pressure.

Between the precision and difficulty, there's little room for improvisation. There's a set way to do most things, and you will do it that way or else. Using the special items or special weapons certainly can make things easier, but for each clever trick there's a choke point of spikes that can't be out-smarted.

Treatment options are available
MM9 takes some small amount of pity on you by offering a store in which you can exchange bolts found in-game for useful items like E-Tanks, M-Tanks, and most of all Shock Guards that protect you once per purchase from those bastard spikes. These extra items are a great help, particularly in Dr. Wily's castle, but the game seems to resent their presence, and so makes the user interface for purchasing them astoundingly wordy and difficult to use.

Ha ha! You have to click a button six times to buy an Energy Tank. Isn't that funny? Just like in 1988? Do you get it?

I get it, Mega Man 9. You hate me. You feel I should suffer for my sins of assisted aiming in console FPS games, or quick saving before every decision point in an RPG. Well, I hate you back Mega Man 9. As soon as I can, I'm going to sin again just to spite you.

This game is too difficult to be fun, to fussy to be exciting. If you enjoy it, please, for your own health and safety, see a doctor.
23 Comments
23 Comments
Posted by Alphazero
Jerk
Mega Man 9 hates you, and isn't afraid to let you know. Here's news for you Mega Man 9. I hate you back. Please let me have one more E-Tank.

It's just as hard as everyone says. Most games of the Mega Man 2 era require memorization, but this game, ostentiably a throw back to MM2, takes it to the next level. We'll give you a blind jump to a landing block that isn't there yet, sure, but this time, let's put it over some spikes.

Do you know what else needs some spikes? The ceiling. And another in front of the place you want to jump. And, what the hell, how about an unblockable laser beam. Fine. No, good. You do that, Mega Man 9. I *want* you to do that, because I've been playing too many games that make me feel competent and are fun to play. This constant failure is making me humble, and...

Goddamit! Fucking spikes!

A-Hole
The end result is a game that requires a level of OCD that should probably be treated by medical professionals, not encouraged by winning a boss fight. The achievements (on the Xbox Live Arcade Version) are further tuned for the obsessive compulsive. You want twenty points? Beat the game in an hour. You want twenty more? Beat it five times in a single day. The last five points? I'll get the rubber glove on. Now, turn to the left and cough. You might feel slight pressure.

Between the precision and difficulty, there's little room for improvisation. There's a set way to do most things, and you will do it that way or else. Using the special items or special weapons certainly can make things easier, but for each clever trick there's a choke point of spikes that can't be out-smarted.

Treatment options are available
MM9 takes some small amount of pity on you by offering a store in which you can exchange bolts found in-game for useful items like E-Tanks, M-Tanks, and most of all Shock Guards that protect you once per purchase from those bastard spikes. These extra items are a great help, particularly in Dr. Wily's castle, but the game seems to resent their presence, and so makes the user interface for purchasing them astoundingly wordy and difficult to use.

Ha ha! You have to click a button six times to buy an Energy Tank. Isn't that funny? Just like in 1988? Do you get it?

I get it, Mega Man 9. You hate me. You feel I should suffer for my sins of assisted aiming in console FPS games, or quick saving before every decision point in an RPG. Well, I hate you back Mega Man 9. As soon as I can, I'm going to sin again just to spite you.

This game is too difficult to be fun, to fussy to be exciting. If you enjoy it, please, for your own health and safety, see a doctor.
Posted by trophyhunter

your just jealous that he gets to tap roll and trone boone

Posted by Video_Game_King

Did you play the game on the Hard difficulty? Or are you one of those gamers who started gaming recently (this one's not an insult to your gamerhood, just a comment on your difficulty ceiling)?

Posted by TheJollyRajah

I beat Mega Man 9 on normal without using the shop. I actually didn't know it was there until my second playthrough. =P

Posted by Dalai

Yes, Mega Man 9 is hard, but if you didn't have fun with it, you're insane.  Things like regenerating health and auto-aim have pussified modern games and Mega Man 9 is a big fuck you to those who have been coddled over the past several years.

So yes, I love Mega Man 9 despite being hard as hell.

Posted by addictedtopinescent
@Dalai said:
" Yes, Mega Man 9 is hard, but if you didn't have fun with it, you're insane.  Things like regenerating health and auto-aim have pussified modern games and Mega Man 9 is a big fuck you to those who have been coddled over the past several years.So yes, I love Mega Man 9 despite being hard as hell. "
This

I suggest you play the old Ninja Gaiden games, those are some of my favorite ever games
Posted by Hailinel
@trophyhunter said:
" your just jealous that he gets to tap roll and trone boone "
Dude, that's gross.  Roll is Mega Man's sister.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@addictedtopinescent said:
"
@Dalai said:
" Yes, Mega Man 9 is hard, but if you didn't have fun with it, you're insane.  Things like regenerating health and auto-aim have pussified modern games and Mega Man 9 is a big fuck you to those who have been coddled over the past several years.So yes, I love Mega Man 9 despite being hard as hell. "
This

I suggest you play the old Ninja Gaiden games, those are some of my favorite ever games
"
Or try playing the new Ninja Gaiden games. Yea, they're hard, but they're hard for this generation (translation: easy to those who can beat most old school games).
Posted by Linkyshinks

Mega Man 9 was one of my most beloved games of 2008, I had been waiting years for it.

I was one of those people who were hoping and praying it would be killer tough, because that's what Mega Man games should be about. The game didn't disappoint on it's hardest difficulty setting, It was everything I hoped it would be.

I beat it without ever using the shop on normal also.

Posted by RichardLOlson
I used to be a fan of Mega Man when it came out for the ps2 and it was all 3D.  But after that, it just wasn't the same for me.
Posted by Roomrunner

I can beat Mega Man 9 on normal in under 90 minutes.  It's challenging, for sure, but has a pace to it that can be easily found.  I am not a competitive gamer, I don't do speed runs, or ever play a game on hard difficulty.  Mega Man 9 was not that frustrating.  


I just beat Bionic Commando Rearmed last week, and now that game is frustrating.
Posted by Stang

MM 9 demoralized me. I will admit I am not the best gamer alive.....but fucking hell. Give us noobs a little wiggle room.

Posted by Progman9000

I commented on this when it first came out, and I'll say it again...

Mega Man 9 was not nearly as hardcore difficult as all these wimpy gamers who played it before me made it out to be.  Are there tough spots?  For sure.  Are there spots where I died quite a few times?  Sure.  But once you get the pacing down for how you're supposed to play it, it's not that tough.

Posted by ZagZagovich
@Video_Game_King said:
"
@addictedtopinescent said:
"
@Dalai said:
" Yes, Mega Man 9 is hard, but if you didn't have fun with it, you're insane.  Things like regenerating health and auto-aim have pussified modern games and Mega Man 9 is a big fuck you to those who have been coddled over the past several years.So yes, I love Mega Man 9 despite being hard as hell. "
This

I suggest you play the old Ninja Gaiden games, those are some of my favorite ever games
"
Or try playing the new Ninja Gaiden games. Yea, they're hard, but they're hard for this generation (translation: easy to those who can beat most old school games). "
Bull Shit. I can beat MM2 without real problems but I can't beat even the easy difficulty on Ninja Gaiden Black or 2 for that matter. Those games will break into your house, tie you up with a phone cord and rape your loved ones right before your eyes, and after that ask you if you want to try again without healing you up. Good games though.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@ZagZagovich said:
Bull Shit. I can beat MM2 without real problems but I can't beat even the easy difficulty on Ninja Gaiden Black or 2 for that matter. Those games will break into your house, tie you up with a phone cord and rape your loved ones right before your eyes, and after that ask you if you want to try again without healing you up. Good games though. "
Counter bullshit. I could beat NG2 on easy difficulty. Yea, it was hard, but not much harder than a lot of the old timey games.
Posted by ZagZagovich
@Video_Game_King said:
"
@ZagZagovich said:
Bull Shit. I can beat MM2 without real problems but I can't beat even the easy difficulty on Ninja Gaiden Black or 2 for that matter. Those games will break into your house, tie you up with a phone cord and rape your loved ones right before your eyes, and after that ask you if you want to try again without healing you up. Good games though. "
Counter bullshit. I could beat NG2 on easy difficulty. Yea, it was hard, but not much harder than a lot of the old timey games. "
Counter-Counter bullshit. Old games are mostly hard because of poor game design. Without things like enemies that respawn after you go a few steps back, incorrect collision detection, unfair jumping physics that ask you to make pixel perfect long jumps and poorly thought out final bosses old ninja gaiden games would be a lot easier than the new ones. And even with that I still could get to the final boss of the first game.
Posted by trophyhunter
@Hailinel said:
"
@trophyhunter said:
" your just jealous that he gets to tap roll and trone boone "
Dude, that's gross.  Roll is Mega Man's sister. "
not in the legend games
Posted by LordAndrew
trophyhunter said:
"not in the legend games "
She's MegaMan's adopted sister in the Mega Man Legends series, as well as being underage. Still totally gross.
Posted by Luke

Lol, great post!  I unfortunately have only played the demo of Megaman 9 (will probably buy the 360 version during the next downtime period in game releases), but I'm old skool to the core. 

Beaten all other Megaman games (1-8), including the X's, ZX's, Zero's, and Legends (not the EXE's/Battle Network/Star Force games though).  Totally beaten all 3 NES Ninja Gaidens too. 

Any of you guys ever beaten Battletoads on the NES? :p

Posted by Alphazero
@Video_Game_King said:
" Did you play the game on the Hard difficulty? Or are you one of those gamers who started gaming recently (this one's not an insult to your gamerhood, just a comment on your difficulty ceiling)? "
I loved Mega Man 2 and beat it a dozen times when it first came out. This one is just on the wrong side of the break in the difficulty curve for me. I'll also admit that I'm just no good at it.

Loved the art style, music, and most of the retro vibe. Just too mean spirited for me.
Posted by Video_Game_King
@Alphazero said:
"
@Video_Game_King said:
" Did you play the game on the Hard difficulty? Or are you one of those gamers who started gaming recently (this one's not an insult to your gamerhood, just a comment on your difficulty ceiling)? "
I loved Mega Man 2 and beat it a dozen times when it first came out. This one is just on the wrong side of the break in the difficulty curve for me. I'll also admit that I'm just no good at it.Loved the art style, music, and most of the retro vibe. Just too mean spirited for me. "
Mean spirited? Try Ghosts 'N Goblins, Umihara Kawase, or Fire Emblem: Thracia 776, and then tell me about mean-spiritedness.
Posted by LaszloKovacs
@Hailinel said:
"
@trophyhunter said:
" your just jealous that he gets to tap roll and trone boone "
Dude, that's gross.  Roll is Mega Man's sister. "
Even better!

But seriously, folks. I had a similar experience with both MM9 and Ninja Gaiden Black in that I was banging my head against a wall for like two hours straight and then suddenly got it and was able to play through. Not easily, but I did play through.
Posted by LordAndrew

Mean spirited is just how Mega Man rolls. :)