I actually worked in Mumbai in a film studio for a few months, years ago. I guess there's two things you have to really consider here; firstly is this where you want to be, and secondly, how much do you want it. Because if you want it enough then then the first question shouldn't really matter. I will say though, 100%, if you want an easy life then this is not the industry for you. Especially in Mumbai.

That city is fucking bananas.

I don't even have to read the post. You follow your dreams up until the point they're no longer that. Then you do something else. Rinse and repeat until it feels right.

Sometimes when you finally catch the dream you were chasing, you realize it was a nightmare all along.

...that sounded way cooler in my head.

@sweep: The second question is something that I've begun thinking about now, and it feels like I might not want it enough, at least not the way the process of proper film making works, the kind of life it gives, the audience that I'd be making for, the number of things I love that I'd have to sacrifice. Films was to be a medium through which I channel the everyday inspirations I feel in life. Only now this lifestyle has made me lose all that inspiration and passion in life, leaving me with nothing to channel. I may have misjudged the medium and everything it brings with it. That's okay I guess, I just need to think a little while longer whether this supports my passion or overrides it all.

I'd also be really really interested in your views about what makes Mumbai so crazy. As of now I've had to cope with traffic jams and local trains that seem to have turned humans into animals as they scramble to get in. (I don't know why they'd risk their lives rather than wait for the next train) Anyways what else have you found to be the major crazy issues in this city? I'd like to know about them so I can analyze my situation and decisions better. Thanks!

@dudeglove: Well, that is kinda reassuring. I guess I should then focus on making sure the this that I'm figuring out is more enjoyable than painful.

@maginnovision: Very interesting. I might've got my dream wrong which can be a difficult experience to deal with. Waiting for years to do something and then immediately realizing this isn't what you thought it'd be, it's sort of caused an identity crises. On the other hand, I've realized it's "no longer my dream" in less than a month, which makes me doubt my own decision making.

@doctordonkey:I thought that was pretty cool even in writing ;)

Right here. It's when you think you have everything figured out from the get go that you're most susceptible to your dreams changing because when you're so sure of your dreams so early in your life, it's most likely because you don't know of much anything else to chase.

That's really interesting. Thanks for the input. It gives me hope that by banging my head on a few more walls along the way, I'll eventually be able to figure out something that fits, and that I don't have to remain with something that doesn't feel right.

I think sometimes we want to explore our passions and get paid to do it at the same time (in money or experience), and when we find out we can do that, we can't think of not trying. Then when we settle down, and realize what's happening, we second guess our decision. The whole process is normal, and as we move through our lives, we like to think we've learned through our experiences, the people we meet, our likes/dislikes, and our friendships, loves, and disappointments. I think what you're experiencing is all of that, in a span of about a week. Perhaps that's never happened to you before, in such a short amount of time. So you're trying to evaluate, decide on the evidence, and then make another decision. That happened to me in my life too when I was diagnosed with kidney disease in 2009. That made me consider other things more importantly, and over time, I've learned how to do that better, not perfectly, but better.

My advice for you is to try and keep a calm judgment, continue to pursue your passions, and do the work that sets a benchmark for your life. Other people will respond to your hard work, and they'll appreciate the other qualities that you have. It doesn't seem that way, but you'll be able to adjust as you get older and experience life in your 20's and where that takes you from here.

Q. Does chasing your dream always = happiness?

A. No.

@ccffbb: Thanks a lot man, that was really insightful. Yeah on a related note I've been considering the option of being paid for normal work, and following a passion on the side for the sake of loving it, and not for money. That way I could make what I like without being pressurized by important questions such as "am I gonna earn anything off this idea? Will it sell" If I have a steady source of income, I can make whatever I want without worrying or without feeling I'm selling out and just using my abilities as a technical craft, rather than expressing anything I want to.

But yeah, as you said, I'm taking it slow and settling down now. That also brings along the danger of getting comfortable and complacent with my current situation, but I'll try not letting that happen. Thanks for all the experienced insight!

Chasing your dreams only ends in happiness if you actually succeed. IF you dedicate 10 years of your life to becoming XYZ and then despite your most sincerest efforts that simply doesn't happen, that probably won't lead to happiness. Of course you could find something better along the way, a hundred different things could happen good or bad, but at the most basic level the answer is no.

I do think there's a lot to be said for peace of mind and at least giving something a shot though.

In a different example, I would say it's like when you're young dating around some casually, especially for young men. You can find out what you're into and just get it out of your system. Some guys might not do that, get in a serious relationship at a young age, then later on, even if they're in a good relationship, feel like they missed out and then cheat on someone or break up a good relationship.

Pretty different example, but I think in the end its similar to trying out a job you always dreamt of doing even if it doesn't work out. Doubt eats away at people.

....

To @armaan8014, props to you for going for this. And yeah, be open to thinking about this different ways. Maybe you can pursue the field somewhere else? Maybe you can just do it on your own and that will be more satisfying?

I can say in my life I struggle with this daily. I work a whatever part time job right now with dreams of making games. I've been learning to program for a while, but dragging my feet in ways on starting a project. Made good progress there recently on it, but I do have a number of unfinished projects in the past year or so I've been working at this. Developing games is very hard and I do struggle with it being really what I want to do. That's not just it being hard, but just looking out and seeing how many games are out there. Fear of failure. Many factors eat at me.

I just keep working at it though and I've been trying to improve myself alongside working on this project. Hopefully things work for me. Like others have said, I don't think this feeling ever goes away. If you have anxiety like me, that can be daunting but we just have to try to find some comfort in trying our best and seeing what happens.

I really identify with your post though. There is a struggle to find out if maybe you need to just work to work and put your passion into all the other things you can do with your life. And I am also living somewhere with no real ties, still meeting people and getting comfortable. Not much I can offer you but a "you're not alone" on that. Best of luck to you dude. If this is something you have dreams of doing, I think you are doing the right thing pursuing it at least for a time. If you have the chance, you could do like me and take on something not so serious for work and pursue film making independently on the side. As long as you are willing to live modestly and work at a job that is probably not glamorous, this can work and be a good option when you are young.

If you dread getting out of bed in the morning and feel like work is a burden, you're not pursuing your "dream job." If you wake up and are excited to take on the day's challenges and you love what you do and don't even consider it work because you enjoy it so much, you're pursuing your dream. Yes, it will probably take you 5-10 years of practice before anyone cares about what you make. Ang Lee made films for several years before a studio took a chance on him and let him make Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. John Romero and John Carmack started pursuing computer science and video game development when they were kids, and they made several games and went through a lot of hardship before they made Doom.

If you're doing something for money or fame, you will always be miserable because you will set unrealistic goals for yourself and always want more. If you're doing something because you feel passionately about it and couldn't imagine being happy doing anything else, you will be happy (some of the time).

@artisanbreads: I think that stuff really depends on who you are as a person. Personally I am, unfortunately, a bit of a pessimist so my approach to failure would be a lot different than someone who's abundantly optimistic about things. I could easily see myself getting very jaded about something if after a lot of effort I still didn't get anywhere. As a matter of fact I already feel that from time to time. I'm a graphic artist, I draw things that are in my humble opinion above average, yet I don't have nearly as much recognition as some other people, and I honestly don't know why or how to change that. In effect this inability to move forward or gain any sort of momentum with my art online has caused me to draw less private stuff because it will get like 10 likes on Tumblr and thats it. I have a fulltime job so it's not a live-or-die situation to reach some sort of widespread internet fame, but I do feel a bit jaded at times about the amount of recognition my stuff receives, or rather doesn't.

Now that is maybe a slightly too personal example, but what I'm getting at is that this is how I approach it. Someone who might have a completely different mindset might feed off it and think "well I just need to draw twice as hard and twice as often as the other guy to get the attention!" Similarly if you just "go for it" and follow your dreams, then your experiences whether with success or failure will vary greatly depending on what kind of person you are. It can completely crush someones dreams, or it can inspire them to try even harder even if it means laying everything on the line.

@humanity: I see what you're getting at. Trust me, I am a person who adopts a positive mindset to counter pessimism that fills my thinking naturally. But I think there is worth in at least what you have done (btw I like your art you post on here a lot!). Yeah maybe you feel jaded, but how would you feel if you hadn't even tried?

Like I said, I want to make games and one aspect I am very daunted about is the number of other games out there and getting seen. It is basically exactly what you are saying. Except I have to have the fear that I could work on one project for like 2 years and find myself there. The length of time that goes into it scares me a lot and makes me always doubt my ideas. So I for sure get that. However, I think ultimately if I did that, it didn't work, and I put this all to bed, that would be worthwhile.

I mean I can't tell you it was worthwhile. You would have to say that. But I think what you are talking about sounds like the struggles someone can go through pursuing what they want and basically that it isn't perfect.

I do think @substance_d has a good point setting reasonable expectations. I get that not being able to figure out why your pieces are getting attention or not could be maddening though. Like you say though, if you did manage to "draw twice as hard and twice as often" then I think things would get better. Keep in mind I am saying this as someone who is discouraged and has struggled with my game making thus far so don't think I speak from a place of success with this yet. Maybe try working with someone else or using your art in a new way.

No it definitely doesn't always, but it's better to give it a good try than not. At least then you will have the knowledge of what happened and not be tormented by the "what if" demon later in life.

The worst thing you can have in life is regrets, which if you are like me are usually things you didn't do or try or didn't say etc but wish you did.

You are giving it a good shot but if you aren't liking it there's nothing wrong with doing something else. I'd give it longer than a few weeks if you can though. Give it at least a couple months I think and if it still is unbearable, you can try your luck finding another avenue into the industry or go back onto the 9-5 path if you like. But make sure you feel you gave it a fair shot, whatever that baseline happens to be for yourself, before passing judgement.

I like the way @maginnovision put it too fwiw.

Happiness is not something that there's a hard and fast rule for, other than access to resources and wealth is inversely proportionate to the average person's happiness barring life threatening circumstances. Democratic communal tribal societies are not only the best form of societal organization in the history of mankind, their residents are all largely happy as well due to the general simplicity of their life experience (in accordance with Max Weber). Of course beyond 100 or so people democracy ceases to function due to the nature of power and the struggle for power.

Here's a random example, the delightful, exceptional sportswriter Joe Posnanski bitched on his blog about becoming a millionaire shortly after his deal for the book Paterno was finalized; it was by far the most insufferable thing I have ever read.

There's a lot of good advice here so I just wanted to come in and say this. My mother always told me happiness is a decision, not a reaction. There are many ways to understand this, but it always helped in my many, many times of confusion. No matter what I am doing now, or how confused or lost I am (boy hoo boy!) I decide to be happy in my day to day. Without exaggeration, this simple idea did change my life.

I like what @slag said, and maybe this is just how humans are wired, but we do tend to regret those things we didn't try. This is a fact worthy of reflection I think.

@artisanbreads: Thanks for the reply :) Yeah I totally get the part about giving it a shot for the sake of mind. I can also identify with your example of getting into a serious relationship too early and I'm worried whether I'll always wonder if I missed out.

It's really nice to hear about your experience and that you can identify with it! "That's not just it being hard, but just looking out and seeing how many games are out there. Fear of failure. Many factors eat at me." I identify with this part in a way that sometimes I watch all the rubbish films, ad films and everything that gets made in India, there's SO much of it and most of it is such rubbish, but that is what the audience wants. I get scared thinking about the thousands of different directors/ filmmakers that have made this, and I fear being in their place. I don't wanna make stuff like that. And... and there's so much of it. It's a weird scary thought.

When I was in school my dream was to be involved in game development as well, as a concept artist. But judging by the state of the industry in my country (only mobile games, outsourced) plus the fact that I probably only enjoy painting for leisure, I decided against it. I still love watching and reading about development of games though, it excites me. Maybe one day when I'm rich enough I could just start my own video game company and contribute to the gaming community :) who knows? (and this sort of supports my point about living a life full of all the experiences I enjoy rather than dedicating my complete life to films)

I think the question for me now is, do I want this or do I want the other life where I explore my passions in my free time, freely? And time is ticking away and if I don't make a decision soon, it'll be automatically made for me. I must priorities, decide and choose my life. I'm very tempted to do as you suggested, work for work and make films independently. I'll keep analyzing my current situation and see if that's the right way. But reading your reply and seeing that I'm not alone calmed me down a lot, thanks :)

@substance_d: Yeah I'm definitely not attracted to the glamour, I sorta hate Bollywood. Which is another reason I worry about my passion and the country I live in. My passion is getting beautiful shots, editing them beautifully, and creating scenes and moments that can floor you. I'm really passionate about those parts, but seeing a professional film crew at work, I feel that it becomes sort of mechanical and some of that magic disappears in the practicality of it all (schedules, production pressure, money etc)

At this stage as an AD on a terrible TV show, I do dread getting out of bed. A lot. Let's see whether that changes with different projects, work in films etc.

I know that feeling. Me and my friend have a rap/ rock band where we sing in hindi and english and experiment and innovate a lot. Frankly we think that our work is something really different and should be getting a lot of recognition. We also make a music video for each of our tracks as well. But when we share it on our FB page we get about 30-40 likes. A girl changes her profile picture and that gets 300-400 likes and a lot of comments. Ofcourse it's disheartening and annoying, but shit is stupid like that. Luckily in this case, we absolutely love what we do and we'd continue doing it even if our audience was halved. One of my life's best experiences has been those music video making days. It's just me and my friend, discussing life and pushing limits of creativity for a week straight, twice a year (we live in different states and meet twice a year for this, and have been doing that for the past 6 years)

Once we really did get pissed off about this though, and were also out of ideas for our next song. We ended up using our frustration and wrote a song about the situation: about not getting recognition for your work, about things not going as you'd want them to. Still, you gotta accept that it'll always be confusing and you gotta live on and keep creating anyways!

If happiness is your goal, you will fail.

Humans are just not psychologically capable of feeling it in long stretches. Chasing your dreams most likely will make you happier while doing that. If you succeed , it is a temporary boost but you will eventually have to find something new to aim for. Failure will get you down, but so does standing still or working towards something that you don't believe in. Good friends and loved ones raise the overall happiness more than anything you can do just by your self.

So I fucked up big-time recently.
I'm a guy whose main talent lies in study and not much else. Being a doctor was my dream, and I entered a very competitive undergraduate medical course due to really good performance in high school. Everything seemed set up.
Then I flunked out by letting severe anxiety, stress and rock-bottom self-esteem get to me. Now I'll be doing a Bachelors of Biomedical Science at a different uni to hopefully overcome academic probation to re-enter the original uni. This has delayed me becoming a doctor by at least 4 years.

But I realized something. I found what will give me meaning in my life, and why I will not fuck up again.
I barely give a shit about myself anymore. At this point, I don't care if I'll never find a romantic partner, and lay down on my deathbed by myself.
What I care about is dragging even one person away from death so that they may go back to the people that love them and live fulfilling lives. I want the meaning in my life to come from saving the lives of those whose lives are full of meaning, if that makes sense.

To love something is to suffer for it OP. Artists (such as film-makers) have to give a lot of themselves. If your love of film-making is enough so that you can handle unpleasantness in your life for it then go for it.

and @fredchuckdave: @geraltitude:

My title may have been misleading. It's not that I'm trying to find happiness through this dream of mine, it's more that I'm worried that pursuing this dream and all the sacrifices it'll bring along might put my happiness at risk. I'm already(mostly) happy and enjoy life and it's ups and downs. Just being in a state of flow, drawing, painting, travelling, photography, music and everyday mundane moments are moments I love and appreciate, and since they happen quite often, I'm mostly happy. And then shit happens, but that goes away soon enough!

No it's just that I enjoyed myself when I made small videos as a passion/ hobby, thought of turning it into a career, and now I wonder if sacrificing everything I love is worth this career line. That's what my question is about.

@adequatelyprepared: Wow that's some intense stuff. Good luck for your endeavors and life. It's one life though, so try considering your own happiness as well. As a random suggestion for a great book on a meaningful life, try "Flow"

"To love something is to suffer for it OP. Artists (such as film-makers) have to give a lot of themselves. If your love of film-making is enough so that you can handle unpleasantness in your life for it then go for it."

True. But now what I need to figure out is whether I actually love film making, or was it just that I loved taking my camera out with a couple of friends, getting beautiful shots and editing them together. The professional film making experience is quite different, as it turns out.

@slag:Agreed. Giving it a good shot is important. With time things become clearer, as they have since its been almost a month now from when I'd started. I'm beginning to get settled down and more used to it. That's not to say that the question has changed or I've received my answer. What I left behind/ the alternate life plan might still be the better option (it probably is) but what I'm getting at is that time changes things, makes them clearer once the initial discomfort of a new life goes away. I'll try this for another month.

You're already familiar with this viewpoint but I think its the only one worth having. Great, honest art will almost always find an audience. Drawing for recognition isn't the best motivation as its somewhat out of your control, its also too small a consolation for the amount of effort you invested. The only thing you should worry about is learning and improving while pursuing the stuff you enjoy, don't expect recognition (especially) for being "above average" because in any field with so much competition its just not enough to turn heads. Even if you see what you determine to be below average artists getting more, they were probably piggybacking off of something else to get that recognition, that probably isn't the kind of recognition you want. Just strive to be great at the things you enjoy and everything will fall into place (with or without attention). I'm a random stranger on the internet so this is relatively meaningless, but I sincerely believe its impossible to fail if you put in continuous conscious effort (if your goal is just some online attention and getting payed), Its just that most people deceive themselves with how much effort they are putting in and lack humility or they are in an unfortunate situation which hinders their ability to invest time and energy (in which case it takes a little longer). Mastery takes so much of your life it may not even be worth it to some, but besides having fun that's the only thing worth worrying about.

If you feel like you're banging your head against a wall its because that's what is actually happening, just step back, break the process down, consider what is difficult then research how other people do it, copy then repeat. If this comes across as preachy common sense then apologies.

@spacefish: It's not preachy and I certainly didn't want to make a part of this thread about my personal issues, which I kind of regret bringing up at this point but it was the most salient example I could think of at that moment. Your advice is, as often is the case, very generalized. Keep trying, work harder, do more, are all great pieces of advice that honestly, and I don't want to sound mean, are very airy and meaningless in the long run. Sometimes it's not really about trying harder, and sometimes it's not about being better. Very often success comes from being at the right place, at the right time and increasingly about knowing the right people. A neutral example of this is someone doing some really great writing on a blog that no one has heard about. One day a very well known person points their large fanbase at that blog and that person suddenly skyrockets from relative obscurity to being suddenly appreciated for all the work they've done. In this case the person didn't work harder, didn't find humility in admitting to themselves that they weren't doing enough, they simply benefited from a unique circumstance outside of their control. This actually happened on YouTube recently. A young girl that did daily vlogs through hard work and diligence accumulated about 3000 subscribers after a years worth of effort. She then very suddenly shot up to prominence through a single video because a very well known blogger gave her a shoutout. She went from 3,000 subs to 40,000 the next day, just like that.

Now of course this isn't the case for everyone and everything. There are certainly things you can do do to edge yourself towards these situations. Some of those things could be shadier than others and some that simply don't agree with your character. Nevertheless, getting back to the original point, there is a large chance that you simply won't succeed in the pursuit of your dreams. On a recent video Danny O'Dwyer gave tips on how to break into the video game industry. He ended the video with a very honest parting word of caution "no matter how hard you try, a lot of you won't make it" (paraphrased). That is very true in that sometimes really talented people simply don't make it because of X-Y-Z and not for a lack of effort on their part. My point to this was that depending on who you are personally, this can be a crushing defeat that an individual will have a very hard time coming back from. So while some people are more than happy to give it their best and if things don't work out they have the satisfaction that they tried, others won't be able to move on so easily. It's the case of being in a bar and having that one friend tell you "just go talk to her whats the worst that could happen?" In the grand scheme of things it's an insignificant event, a meaningless blip in your entire lifetime, but it's the person that determines on a personal level how significant that tiny moment can really be.

@humanity: Ah yeah no worries, its more my fault for making it about a specific type of art, though I think the mindset and certain obstacles are very similar in all creative fields.

Yeah you are right, In almost all other fields its not just about the hard work or effort or skill, its about luck and connections (especially in less creative fields). For sure, Your life will always be easier if you are In the right place/ time with the right people but that is always secondary to your individual efforts. We are in agreement that you will never have access to those opportunities if you don't lay any foundation, a bland musician/ artist/ director will be ignored no matter who points to them, well, nobody would point to them in the first place.

If you're an artist, specifically a graphic designer or illustrator there is a difference, its why I think this vague, idealistic advice is applicable, (I would never tell a musician or game journalist to expect a return on investment because they are in collapsing industries with a very complicated criteria for success). Visual design has 1 key advantage that makes it more of a meritocracy than most art forms, anyone can determine the merit of an artist in a matter of seconds, especially the people who are hunting for talent, this is huge, it's an advantage that is almost exclusive to visual art. Great art is rare (for now), good+unique art will always be rare and its very easy to spot, nobody big is required to point to you, it attracts on its own.

So yeah you are right, sometimes it isn't about trying harder and most people will fail, but if you are an illustrator or graphic artist its always about being better which is always attained through more work. You may disagree but I would say 9 times out of 10 if you fail as an artist its because you never attained the necessary skill to even compete, its just why I think its a waste of time to put any real thought into the other stuff. If you just do it for the fun of it while honestly trying to improve, the external stuff wont matter as much and if you ever become amazing you will be recognised. I guess if you're in the business of abstract graphic design or fine art (or any of the other art forms that were mentioned) then none of what i'm saying is all that applicable, whatever the case, good luck.

Sometimes I think chasing my dreams has been the greatest source of misery in my life, including the times I've tried to stop chasing them.

For years I knew I wanted to work with computers and I'm following that dream taking steps with an a+ cert and taking classes for c++ and Java. I know I still have a ways to go but I'm extremely happy to be finally realizing my dream so I'd say in my case yeah following and realizing your dream does mean happiness! Best of luck in your future endeavors.

I was for a time caught up in chasing my dream (I worked at table top companies/miniature companies for a few years) and I had a shot at making a proper career out of it. But things change as you get older and priorities change. It also never really made me happy as such. Was the work better on the day to day than my current job? Yes, but politics, assholes and a never ending time suck still made life miserable. On top of this its a trophy industry, like games music and film so they pay shit.

Now I work a 9 to 5 get decent money the people I work with are nice.

Over the years I came to the conclusion that its not the work, its generally the people you have to see every day that makes all jobs either bearable or terrible.

Interestingly I'm actually considering going back to school specifically for architecture as that's one of the interests i've picked up over the years.

You are asking the really hard questions in life many of us face (myself included). I don't know the right answer.

@ninnanuam: Wow that's really interesting.. Thanks for sharing duder

As someone who spent 6 years on a 4 year music degree (2 were at a cc) is 60 grand in debt and works full time trying to pay off student loans and has almost no time to play music: nope.

We as humans are never satisfied with what we have and will always yearn for what is out of our reach or we haven't yet had.

Happiness only exists in retrospect (Oh, I was so happy back in those days).

As a 27 year old who's worked on a lot of sets and played a lot of politics and made a lot of shorts and who threw Zoe in front of a train... My advice to 90 percent of 18 year olds in filmschool would be "you don't want this." You think it's flashy and cool and "better than a soulless office job" and it's not. You were raised being told that you're special and you can do anything, but 90 percent of you aren't willing to make the sacrafices needed and work hard enough to even count as being in the game. Most of you just really like watching movies, and for most people that's as far as you should take it.

Yes, but only if you're really committed. The problem with education is that its offered to you at a time when you're at your least educated so you don't know enough about how you want to progress. I went down the computing route thinking that game development would be a cool thing. Then I bottled uni and wound up in an office. Turns out I just like earning money and that, rather than develop games, I'd much rather talk or write about them.

I've also spent five years out of work so I appreciate just having a job to go to.

It's an interesting perspective to take, and it's one that can ring true. Not everyone is going to make it. But it's also important to understand, and this goes to the OP as well there are many ways to pursue your dream. Putting specifics on it, is what can harm you. If you enjoy film you can always enjoy film. Nobody says it has to be your day job though. Especially though in today's constantly changing world the idea that you have to sit on some set and "pay your dues" the old ways is long since past. You know how many writers just write in their spare time, then eventually release something for free on the internet just because? Tons. They still get the joys of writing, of feedback, of feeling apart of some community and of knowing they are doing something.

To person I'm quoting, I will say though that the universal "you don't want this" approach is a bit off base. Regardless of the number of people who make it, there are some people who are willing to make the sacrifices because it's something they care about. Just because sacrifice can be involved doesn't mean people can't learn to adapt and push themselves.

Pretty true. Even the bad times begin to look good in retrospect at times... Dangerous!

True.. In fact I think a monotonous and predictable job might not be as bad as it's been made to sound. You still have the evenings off and the weekends to yourself to pursue all your creative hobbies. Many great artists and writers kept a day job while creating great art in their off time!

You were raised being told that you're special and you can do anything

Yeah... This is a problem and many of us have lived privileged lives which can lend to a sense of entitlement. In that way, it's good to give something like this a shot and learn about reality, about yourself, and then re prioritize your priorities.

Most of you just really like watching movies, and for most people that's as far as you should take it.

In my case it isn't even that. I like watching movies, but that's not the reason I got into this. I really enjoy sharing my feelings about a lot of things, getting great shots and editing them to make great scenes. But the process of doing that in a one man army short film and in a professional film setting with a full crew is worlds apart. I enjoy the former, but do not want to make the latter my life.

Very correct through and through. Since writing this post, I've decided to take up a job with predictable timings back home, and do everything I love doing in my spare time - including making films/ videos. It gives me the freedom to create whatever I want, and I can enjoy it thoroughly as I'm not doing it to feed myself. And thanks to the internet, film festivals etc, I can have it seen and recognized too. I think, for me and my personality, it creates the perfect balance. It's a plan for a life of happiness+passion.

there are some people who are willing to make the sacrifices because it's something they care about. Just because sacrifice can be involved doesn't mean people can't learn to adapt and push themselves.

Yeah and I realized that I'm not one of the people who care a lot about this one thing, and am not willing to make the sacrifices. The experience was great though, and taught me a lot about myself and how I really want to live my life.

I've told this story on Giant Bomb's forums before, but I had a pretty decent career in various forms of publication for about seven years. I did corporate, non-profit, and scholarly journal production, and then was very suddenly laid off from my job. I was really depressed over it, but a tiny piece in the corner of my brain was relieved. I used to wake up frequently anxious and not wanting to leave the house. I'd always thought it was my dream to work in that industry, and couldn't understand why it burned me out and left me feeling terrible.

For eight months, I worked in communications while I tried to figure out my life. While that was going on, I dove deep into yoga practice and teacher training to keep myself from sinking emotionally and mentally. The week after teacher training graduation, I headed to Boston for PAX East 2014. I went to Giant Bomb's enormously crowded event and watched these guys interact with one another and the crowd, and laughed so hard tears rolled down my face. And it kind of just hit me: Life should be like that. It is possible to be that happy at work, even when the work is challenging. I'd been mulling making the leap from working at an office to teaching yoga, but the courage eluded me. Right then, it was given to me by people who didn't know me. Without ever having any idea, they helped me change my life. I wrote my resignation letter that night.

Now, it wasn't smooth sailing from there of course. The next 6-8 months were a whoooooole lot of trial and error. Some people thought I was an idiot to "give up my career" to be a yoga teacher. I had some savings, but had to spread myself out teaching at 4 different studios to get enough classes to make ends meet. But I loved it. I felt so happy to see my students, watch them grow, and share this practice that has ultimately changed my life in a profoundly positive way. I felt like going to work every single day...and I had never felt like that before.

Finally, after being at it for about a year and half, this past December my boss at one of the studios decided to offer me a more full-time schedule. Now I only teach at one studio, teach every day except Tuesday, and get to be part of their community and watch people grow. I'm no big-time Instagram yogi with a Lululemon begging me to be a clothing ambassador, or leading retreats in tropical locations all over the world, and I don't make big bucks.

But I'm happy. I have time to spend with my husband, family, and friends. I do work that fulfills me deeply, and my students are loving, appreciative people. Occasionally to make a few extra dollars, I'll write for someone's blog, do some social media work, do pastry work, or build a catalog for someone (hey, just because I don't work at the library doesn't mean I don't want to flex my MLIS muscles), but I do these things under my LLC on my own terms.

Once I thought about the things that I really enjoyed doing (and let go of my identity/title as a production editor), I considered how I could turn all of those little pieces into a workable career. I think that's when happiness really emerged for me. Being open to letting my dreams and desires grow and change, and letting them all be a part of my working life to some extent.

The advice I wish I'd been given when I'd been at your stage in life (though I know it now because I found some success anyway) is that school kind of trains you to think about the adult world in terms of subject areas. Like, "I'm interested in biology" or "I'm interested in politics", and therefore, you think you want to go into a career related to that subject area.

My experience is, subject area is a frivolous detail. The human mind possesses an amazing capacity for self-delusion, by which I mean that you can convince yourself that almost any subject is interesting enough if you're happy enough doing it. What you're not going to be able to delude yourself about though is process. Either you enjoy the process of what you do every day or you hate your job (or somewhere in between). So whether that's interacting with people and trying to convince them to try your brand of toothpaste, or crunching data, or writing code, or schlepping around a film set, that's the process you're going to have to enjoy if you're going to enjoy your life.

Now, that said, sometimes the long game requires you to take on something you don't enjoy. But you don't make the decision to endure that on blind faith. You have to have a plan, something to tell yourself when you're lying in bed in the morning, hating the fact you have to get up where you say "Just 1 more year, and I'll be doing what I really want". You have to know your play before you make it.

It sounds like one of those last two things is your issue where you're at right now. My advice is to consider your long game, determine whether you have a reasonable expectation of doing something you will love better than what you're doing now in the near future, and if not, you'd better consider what process it is that you enjoy most, and think about whether there might be an industry that actually has a shortage of labor that might be able to use a man of your talents.

Wishing you the best amigo. If nothing else yo can treat your experience as a test to see if this is the way you want to make films. If not you can take a step back and find another path. I would be interested to see if there are people around you who inspire you and imagine if you would be happy living life as they do. If not perhaps a different route may be better. I'm not much of a city boy as I love a cup of tea, a video game, and the sound of rain too. Ah relaxation so sweet When you can get it!

Hey! Sorry for the long wait. My life is also in a very complex spot, and energy sapping.

I do agree with your choice. I got the feeling you want to make movies in your own way. And stabilizing your life, financially and emotionally, will help you find that joy, quality and satisfaction in your movies, that you search for, as well as a more fulfilling life. You made a great choice.

And remember a small indie movie that rocked the world: Blair Witch Project. Three actors and a small budget changed the face of the horror industry.

I believe that kind of life will go very well for you, as long as you keep that passion for the real and beautiful alive working the way you want it. It will be a fulfilling and happy life.

One thing I've come to realize is that it is important to pinpoint exactly what drives us. What are we looking for in our lives? Some objectives are pretty easy to ascertain, but others are more elusive, and they manifestate in very commonly through our frustrations. "What do we feel frustrated about?" - that question will lead to goals unfulfilled.

And to me it seems you desire to makes movies the way you like it, and engage in your other creative and leisurely activities, and your choice aligns with that, as long as you don't abandon them for work or something else. Good luck!

Hey! Sorry for the long wait. My life is also in a very complex spot, and energy sapping.

I do agree with your choice. I got the feeling you want to make movies in your own way. And stabilizing your life, financially and emotionally, will help you find that joy, quality and satisfaction in your movies, that you search for, as well as a more fulfilling life. You made a great choice.

And remember a small indie movie that rocked the world: Blair Witch Project. Three actors and a small budget changed the face of the horror industry.

I believe that kind of life will go very well for you, as long as you keep that passion for the real and beautiful alive working the way you want it. It will be a fulfilling and happy life.

One thing I've come to realize is that it is important to pinpoint exactly what drives us. What are we looking for in our lives? Some objectives are pretty easy to ascertain, but others are more elusive, and they manifestate in very commonly through our frustrations. "What do we feel frustrated about?" - that question will lead to goals unfulfilled.

And to me it seems you desire to makes movies the way you like it, and engage in your other creative and leisurely activities, and your choice aligns with that, as long as you don't abandon them for work or something else.

So to me you are really choosing the dream that makes you happy.

Good luck!

Hey! Sorry for the long wait. My life is also in a very complex spot, and energy sapping.

I do agree with your choice. I got the feeling you want to make movies in your own way. And stabilizing your life, financially and emotionally, will help you find that joy, quality and satisfaction in your movies, that you search for, as well as a more fulfilling life. You made a great choice.

And remember a small indie movie that rocked the world: Blair Witch Project. Three actors and a small budget changed the face of the horror industry.

I believe that kind of life will go very well for you, as long as you keep that passion for the real and beautiful alive working the way you want it. It will be a fulfilling and happy life.

One thing I've come to realize is that it is important to pinpoint exactly what drives us. What are we looking for in our lives? Some objectives are pretty easy to ascertain, but others are more elusive, and they manifestate in very commonly through our frustrations. "What do we feel frustrated about?" - that question will lead to goals unfulfilled.

And to me it seems you desire to makes movies the way you like it, and engage in your other creative and leisurely activities, and your current choice aligns with that, as long as you don't abandon them for work or something else.

So to me you are really choosing your dreams and happiness, in the way you find that works best, the the dream that makes you happy. Of course some parts that dream have to be reworked, and some ideas let go, but that is the way of realizing any dream. Not every aspiration works together with the others, some are contradictory, others impractical, and we have to find what is the most important part of our dream, and plan around it, aspiring to realize our goals the best way possible. This is the way of living any dream.

Good luck!

The short answer is no, "following your dreams" and "never giving up" will not work for the vast majority of people. The reason why it's such a prevalent message, though, is because the only people with the ability to speak to an audience of thousands or millions are the lucky select few for whom the stars aligned and everything worked out. So of course that's going to be their rhetoric because it worked for them.

That's not to take away any of their hard work - of course they worked hard to get where they were, but they were also lucky. Many orders of magnitude more people worked just as hard and didn't make it, but they don't have platforms from which to speak their cautionary tales to a wide audience, so that message is far less prevalent.

@cactusapple: Makes sense. You won't hear about them unless you go looking for them. I did, of course, and there are many sensible stories from that side too :) Thanks

@veektarius: Love everything that you've written. Yeah I realized that the process was something that was not enjoyable enough for me. I then looked at the long game, and even watched a couple of big name feature films being made, and having experienced the same thing on a smaller scale I was able to relate and realized that not much changes when it comes to the process. I still love films and am inspired by them, but I'm not inspired by the lifestyle and work style of being a director. For me, it removed the magic that I've felt when I've made short films. The long game didn't look like it was worth it either, so I left.

As of now, I'll get an architecture job that gives me spare time in the evenings, where I can follow all the things I love the process of doing, including making short films. At this point I also need to start earning and stabilizing myself financially. Who knows though, I might end up back in that industry someday. Time will tell.

Thanks! As you might've read, I decided to come back, get a job and do things I love in my spare time. I saw big name directors spending days on set and I couldn't imagine myself happy living as they do, so as you said, different route it is.

I'm not much of a city boy as I love a cup of tea, a video game, and the sound of rain too. Ah relaxation so sweet When you can get it!

Reading that made me want to give you a follow, but then I saw that I'm already following you :P

@hanuman623:

Thanks a lot for sharing, and sorry I couldn't write back sooner. I was in the process of moving back home :) Yeah I was probably getting stuck in a certain identity I'd thought defined me, and it was a little difficult to realize that that isn't really me. Now I hope to follow along with my interests and see if those bits and pieces come up and lend to a custom made career that suits me. Of course, all of that will be done in my spare time, and I'll keep a steady job in an architecture firm to support myself through it.

@jeust

Hey! Sorry for the long wait. My life is also in a very complex spot, and energy sapping.

How are things on your side, what's sapping your energy? PM me if you like :)

Wow you understand my priorities very well :) Yeah I realized that to me, balance is quite important for satisfaction and fulfillment. Sacrificing it for "the one thing" is not for me.

I believe that kind of life will go very well for you, as long as you keep that passion for the real and beautiful alive working the way you want it. It will be a fulfilling and happy life.

And to me it seems you desire to makes movies the way you like it, and engage in your other creative and leisurely activities, and your current choice aligns with that, as long as you don't abandon them for work or something else.

Thanks! Yeah, it's now my responsibility to give time to my passions outside of work, and I'm sure I can do it.

So to me you are really choosing your dreams and happiness, in the way you find that works best, the the dream that makes you happy. Of course some parts that dream have to be reworked, and some ideas let go, but that is the way of realizing any dream. Not every aspiration works together with the others, some are contradictory, others impractical, and we have to find what is the most important part of our dream, and plan around it, aspiring to realize our goals the best way possible. This is the way of living any dream.

That's very well put. So it's time to keep figuring out what works best and what must be trimmed and what changes need to be made, and prioritize the most important parts of my dream. Thanks for the reply :)

@armaan8014: Glad to hear it. And never underestimate how the skill you've learned might apply to areas you've never trained in. At the entry level, many businesses are willing to give people with a history of hard work and initiative a chance even though they didn't specialize in a field in school.

No. Not always.