You are a brave lady. Best of luck in your transition, keep us posted!

And hey, if you need someone, I'm here for you. I've been through loneliness and depression too, and it always hurts to see other people go through it.

Yeah, picture records are always interesting, and they give you a nice perspective on the whole thing. They also can help when it feels like things haven't changed much, and then you can look back and really see the difference. It's certainly something to keep in mind. But do whatever you feel comfortable with. :)

Awesome! Good luck!

Yeah, maybe... or monthly updates or something. I've thought about it. Someone asked me to keep a picture record of my transition...

I would totally read a blog of your adventure. Good luck, stay positive!

Hmm. Now you've got me wanting to go in and see what my levels are. I'm fairly certain it'll just say, "you're excruciatingly normal, go away, dork." but I like knowing numbers for things. They're my character stats. :D

Plus, it's not like you'll have to make a new thread for each update. Just bump this thread if you feel the need to vent or whatever. Or don't, if you would prefer not to. I'm sure a lot of what you'll be going through will be pretty personal, so don't feel the need to share anything if you don't feel like it will help you.

Not that a day like that will be awesome to experience, but to be honest, that actually sounds like an interesting blog post. The fact is, even if not every single post is eloquent or compelling, the complete story is certainly quite personal and worth reading. It's up to you. I know I rarely felt like writing about my struggles years ago while it was happening, but I kind of wish I had. Having people share in it seems like it could help, and it'd probably benefit everyone involved. I think it could be cool. :)

(And I am pleased as a peach that so many have come to encourage you and wish you well in all of this. We're certainly rooting for you!)

You know what? Science is fucking cool.

Seems like you're in a real toxic environment, but if you're doing this I suppose you've already well started overcoming their bullshit?

A thousand mile journey begins with a single step. It sounds like you have a number of problems in your life and have taken some steps to address them. I hope you will continue to see a therapist. It's nice to have a neutral party in your life to talk about things important to you. It will take time to try and distill down the root causes of your depression and anxiety and how you can best manage them. Try to be patient with it and remember that you are taking steps in the right direction.

If you have the interest in blogging about your journey further, I would be more than willing to read it. It seems as though I am not the only one. Regardless, best of luck with your new direction in life.

I know you were probably joking, but you're not broken. You are who you are. Never apologize for being yourself.

On a more upbeat note, it's pretty awesome that you have the courage to go through with something so important to you.

I hope things go well for you, and other than recommending that you probably remove yourself from people who make you unhappy, I am incapable of offering any advice or insight.

@artelinarose:

:D

There is no greater way to express my happiness than a Brad Muir™ colon capital d.

edit: wait, did I just trademark Brad Muir? I should trademark the colon capital d, shouldn't I? Fuck it I ain't fixin it.

I have thought about doing that but I wonder if there's any way to really make it interesting... a lot of it seems like it would just end up being "today my boobs hurt a whole lot while growing in and i cried for no reason like six times the end thats all i have to say"

It's awesome to hear you're still striving forward. I've had friends go through a similar process and it's really nice when the intense worry and doubt is able to be etched away bit by bit. Good luck to you in the future, and I know this is a really nebulous thing to say but if things ever feel super dark again don't hesitate to send me a message. Sometimes it's just nice to know somebody is willing to listen.

Oh! And in case you missed it over the last few months, I made some GiantBomb Animations. A good few members of the community have expressed to me that these videos cheered them up, so here you go:

Enjoy Your Massage

A Real Man's Drink

I'm probably making it out to be worse than it is. I live with six people(!?) with a seventh on the weekends. One of them treats me like garbage and bullies me, saying everything around the house is my fault and I need to clean up after myself when it's actually his mess, etc, and one is just a rude individual that says really mean stuff with the intention to hurt and then just plays it off as "I was just kidding so you aren't allowed to be upset at me that's your fault." I put up with that last one for too long, I think. The point where I was tired of his crap was when a girl we both know called me at 2 in the morning crying, asking to be comforted because he had spent an hour just talking down to her to make her cry and then texted her like nothing was wrong. Homie don't play that. It's just rude!

but gosh wow um im really embarrassed and flattered so many people are wishing me well aaaa

@artelinarose: Hope it goes well for you and props to you for dong what you feel you need to do to be happy.

jesus they sound like the worst. Don't be around people like if you can do anything at all to avoid it. They don't sound like friends they sound like assholes. No one deserves to be treated like that and no one should be expected to put up with it.

@i_stay_puft:

Fortunately, that didn't happen to me when I did it. All I got was the feeling of having your blood drawn for about ten minutes.

Impressive. It's always nice to hear about someone who has the courage to be who they want to be, and take any necessary actions to do so. Best of luck to you and your endeavours.

I remember the first time I donated blood the attendant who was probably a teen right out of high school forgot to tell me I should probably sit down for a little bit and not to walk around right after. Next thing I remember was sitting face first on the cement pavement next to my car, a good samaritan was kind enough to call some EMT's over. Was okay but still, fuck...

@artelinarose:

From what I remember, it's a lot of vials for giving blood. You just sit there for ten minutes while you feel a needle in your body. It's all kinds of unpleasant, and I wouldn't recommend it.

That is truly inspiring! Even just superficially, realizing who you are and through action make it a reality is admirable in and of itself. More people should do that in general, and I know there are aspects of me and my life I wish I had the strength of determination to change no matter the cost. I am happy for you and hope you'll continue your journey and improve the other parts of your life as well (such as those questionable "friends"). Best of luck to you out there, hope it all turns awesome.

@video_game_king: l have never donated blood so I cannot say for certain, but they said the normal amount taken for lab work is an average of four vials. I have to give them blood every month; it is just part of my life now.

Holy shit! Isn't that the amount used for giving blood?

i'm really happy for you! good luck with everything. i hope even in the miserable times you remember that a bunch of us here on giantbomb think you are great!

Congrats!

And good on the rest of you, I cringed at the idea of reading the rest of this thread, but I needn't have worried.

I'm genuinely happy to hear that :D

Yeah, they can test lots and lots of things just from having a little bit of blood.

Actually, the first day I went in to the doctor's office they took eight vials of the stuff. I very very nearly passed out cause I was stupid and hadn't eaten a proper breakfast before going in so my blood sugar was nonexistent. I apparently lost all of my color and legitimately looked dead. Looking back, my nearly passing out, losing all color and my leg muscles spasming are all signs of going into shock hahaha

Yeah, I know. I'm smart enough to realize that even if this goes as perfectly as I want it to and I'm purdier than I could have imagined and I'm treated the way I want to and all that other stuff, my life is in the exact same spot. I'm still in a house that makes me unhappy and I'm still only working fourteen hours a week at a job that doesn't satisfy me in enough ways. This isn't a cure all, but it is a step towards making my life better. I think that as soon as you start walking, the distance becomes easier to manage because it only seems so far in your head when you're not moving at all.

Best of luck! take it easy and know that we are all here for you xx

That's awesome news to hear! I hope you get to a better state of happiness, duder.

Good for you! Thats a big step, so good luck!

@artelinarose:

That's awesome! You know I would have said that no matter what you chose because, to me, what's awesome is that you made the decision yourself and that your taking steps to realize what you want. I'm really happy for you.

It's a normal blood test. They stick a needle in your arm.

Congratulations! I hope everything goes well.

...This was a good excuse to use this dumb gif.

Sort of curious: How do they draw blood from your pituitary gland? That's, like, near your brain, right?

Regardless, I wish you nothing than the best health and happiness. Congrats on being you.

I'm glad to hear that you are in a better situation, cheers to the future.

Good luck with everything - I hope you get to place where you feel happy and confident. One thing I would say is that it is better to be on your own than to spend time with people who don't understand you or make you unhappy.

Its funny you posted this, I am just reading a book about someone who undergoes a gender change, although it is the other way round. Its called Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and it is fantastic - pick it up if you want a funny, moving great story to read.

Hell is other people. I think everyone, regardless of their background or what challenges they are facing, reach a point when they have to shrug off their past and transition to the future.

Follow your heart and do what makes you happy. I know its alot easier said then done, but I'm sure things will come along eventually.

Anyway Good Luck and Congratz......

Good luck and ditch your shitty friends.

I don't really understand any of this... good luck, I guess.

Good luck.

Congratulations on beginning your transition! And yes, toxic people pretty much live to make other people miserable. I hope you can get away from them. Be you and don't let them drag you down.

Congrats! I wish you the best in your new life!

@artelinarose:

Rock it totally sick, gurl.

Well contrary to what controversy would make people think, the (not-pre-teen) gaming community is incredibly supportive, so you're in good hands.

Glad to hear you're taking steps to improve your life. It's always inspiring to hear about these things. Too many people, in my surroundings anyway, seem content to just suffer through the day claiming "it is what it is, nothing I can do about it" (and maybe I'm somewhat guilty of that aswell).

Go Artelina go! Get out of that fucking house next!

p.s. what happened to Artemecia?

I read 'hormones' as 'homeless' at first, and then I had to read through it again for me to realise what a fucking idiot I am. But, for realz, congrats man, I hope you become the person you are happy to be.