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BlazeHedgehog

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Super Bonk is like a fever dream

I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
Wow, I've never played a Bonk game before. So I decided to try Super Bonk.

This game is like a fever dream.

There's this candy. If I eat one candy, I grow very large. If I eat the other candy, I grow very small. If I press the Y button while small, tiny Bonk will yell "RAGE!" at enemies (the letters of "RAGE!" can also be stood on, as if i was a floating platform). If I do it while big.... Bonk's mother f-ing head detaches from his body and rolls around.

It also seems to be impossible to die in this game. I was on a bridge level and I missed a jump. I expected to die, but instead it loaded a new level under the bridge where there was water. In the water there were fish swimming around and one of them ate me. Instead of killing me, again, it loads a new level, inside of the fish.

No, seriously, what the hell is this?
No, seriously, what the hell is this?
Falling off the bridge was completely optional and so was getting eaten.Then I get out of the fish (I exit via his poop-chute) and a giant brick wall with eyes smashes me, which for some unexplained reason, turns me in to a crab!

Get the right combination of power-ups and you transform in to a bizarre monstrosity best described as a psychotic Bonk wearing a Godzilla costume.

Not a single lick of it makes any sense whatsoever. I don't think I've ever played any game that is quite as completely random and nonsensical as Super Bonk. Sadly, the way I hear it, none of the other Bonk games are like this at all - most of them are generic, boring, simplistic platformers. But not Super Bonk! Super Bonk is out of it's mind, and as a result, is totally freakin' awesome.


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BlazeHedgehog

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Edited By BlazeHedgehog
I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.
Wow, I've never played a Bonk game before. So I decided to try Super Bonk.

This game is like a fever dream.

There's this candy. If I eat one candy, I grow very large. If I eat the other candy, I grow very small. If I press the Y button while small, tiny Bonk will yell "RAGE!" at enemies (the letters of "RAGE!" can also be stood on, as if i was a floating platform). If I do it while big.... Bonk's mother f-ing head detaches from his body and rolls around.

It also seems to be impossible to die in this game. I was on a bridge level and I missed a jump. I expected to die, but instead it loaded a new level under the bridge where there was water. In the water there were fish swimming around and one of them ate me. Instead of killing me, again, it loads a new level, inside of the fish.

No, seriously, what the hell is this?
No, seriously, what the hell is this?
Falling off the bridge was completely optional and so was getting eaten.Then I get out of the fish (I exit via his poop-chute) and a giant brick wall with eyes smashes me, which for some unexplained reason, turns me in to a crab!

Get the right combination of power-ups and you transform in to a bizarre monstrosity best described as a psychotic Bonk wearing a Godzilla costume.

Not a single lick of it makes any sense whatsoever. I don't think I've ever played any game that is quite as completely random and nonsensical as Super Bonk. Sadly, the way I hear it, none of the other Bonk games are like this at all - most of them are generic, boring, simplistic platformers. But not Super Bonk! Super Bonk is out of it's mind, and as a result, is totally freakin' awesome.


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sparky_buzzsaw

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Edited By sparky_buzzsaw

I'm pretty damned sure most game designers must have been on acid throughout the late eighties and early nineties.  Take Super Mario Bros., for example.  A plumber who shoots fireballs after eating magic mushrooms?  I eat mushrooms, and all that happens to me is a nice, warm sensation in my Santa-like belly.  Well, that, and bugs with Stephen Colbert's head start climbing out of my toilet.

Oooh!  Look!  A zebra striped elephant!

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BlazeHedgehog

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Edited By BlazeHedgehog

So for some reason I found myself in a set of levels where everything was super huge. At the end, I entered a giant glass of wine and got sucked down the drinking straw which promptly deposited me in to a dinosaur's mouth.

I enter the dinosaur's body, and eventually I end up swimming around his bloodstream, which takes me to a level called BLUE BALLS. Which turns out to be the boss.

It's a giant blue smiley face with a pringles moustache.

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Ashuku

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Edited By Ashuku

that is so pringles.

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Diamond

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Edited By Diamond

Fun fact (from wikipedia): Prior to 2002, psilocybin mushrooms were widely available in Japan and were often sold in mail-order shops, online vendors and in head shops throughout Japan; according to Hideo Eno of Japan's Health Ministry narcotics division, prior to 2002, "You can find them [psilocybin mushrooms] anywhere."  Use, production, trafficking, growing or possession of psilocybin mushrooms is now illegal in Japan.

When did the Japanese game industry start dropping off again?  I know we don't see nearly as much crazy shit out of them as we used to.  It's a damn shame.

But yea, Super Bonk is great, that and Bonk's Revenge are my fav Bonk games, but I think Super Bonk is the best one.

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deactivated-5f9398c1300c7

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@Diamond said:
" Fun fact (from wikipedia): Prior to 2002, psilocybin mushrooms were widely available in Japan and were often sold in mail-order shops, online vendors and in head shops throughout Japan; according to Hideo Eno of Japan's Health Ministry narcotics division, prior to 2002, "You can find them [psilocybin mushrooms] anywhere."  Use, production, trafficking, growing or possession of psilocybin mushrooms is now illegal in Japan.When did the Japanese game industry start dropping off again?  I know we don't see nearly as much crazy shit out of them as we used to.  It's a damn shame.But yea, Super Bonk is great, that and Bonk's Revenge are my fav Bonk games, but I think Super Bonk is the best one. "
Then no wonder we have games focusing on cliche heroes wearing super suits, carrying futuristic weapons, and them being used on a powerful alien force ready to unleash their brink of destruction upon humanity.

We need moar weeeeeeeeeed (or mushrooms. Or drugs. Or other shit.)
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twillfast

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Edited By twillfast
@Tru3_Blu3 said:

"

@Diamond said:
" Fun fact (from wikipedia): Prior to 2002, psilocybin mushrooms were widely available in Japan and were often sold in mail-order shops, online vendors and in head shops throughout Japan; according to Hideo Eno of Japan's Health Ministry narcotics division, prior to 2002, "You can find them [psilocybin mushrooms] anywhere."  Use, production, trafficking, growing or possession of psilocybin mushrooms is now illegal in Japan.When did the Japanese game industry start dropping off again?  I know we don't see nearly as much crazy shit out of them as we used to.  It's a damn shame.But yea, Super Bonk is great, that and Bonk's Revenge are my fav Bonk games, but I think Super Bonk is the best one. "
Then no wonder we have games focusing on cliche heroes wearing super suits, carrying futuristic weapons, and them being used on a powerful alien force ready to unleash their brink of destruction upon humanity.We need moar weeeeeeeeeed (or mushrooms. Or drugs. Or other shit.) "
Basically, whenever any kind of pre-written media is made, they should pump the writers full of drugs and just go with whatever they come up with.
"...and as an end-game cinematic we need a dolphin with a birthday cake on its fin, that eats the world and blows out a 'Good job!' from its nose, which then turns into an australian sled-shop that sells money and buys sleds. It's a wrap, let's make a game!"