DJ_Lae
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Nov. 20, 2009
  • DJ_Lae unlocked 3 achievements in LEGO® Indiana Jones™
    10 hours, 12 minutes ago
  • DJ_Lae commented on Jeff's editorial review Tony Hawk: RIDE
    Yeah, watching the quick look gave me the impression that the game was shit - and so awful that no one even had the energy to poke fun at it other than the (spectacularly brilliant) intro and endings to that quick look.
    14 hours, 2 minutes ago
Nov. 19, 2009
Nov. 18, 2009
Nov. 16, 2009
Nov. 15, 2009
Nov. 13, 2009
Nov. 11, 2009
  • DJ_Lae unlocked 1 achievement in Forza Motorsport 3
    1 week, 2 days ago
  • Most pot smokers are fine, but I would agree with Jeff that the ones online are annoying as hell - the "HEY GUESS HOW HIGH I AM RIGHT NOW" demographic usually found in online shooters, the ones who feel the need to give people a play-by-play of their mental state.  The ones with pot-themed XBL tags, too, the chronics and blunts and marys and so on.
    1 week, 2 days ago
  • I don't think it needs it, to be honest. If you want weather, PGR4 does it fantastically well.  Gran Turismo's staple of a handful of night courses and one or two 'wet' courses doesn't excite me much.
    1 week, 2 days ago
Nov. 10, 2009
Nov. 9, 2009
  • DJ_Lae replied to the topic Buying Bundles With Games You Already Own in the Steam board.
    From what I remember, the only games that can be gifted if you repurchase them via pack are Half-Life 2, the two episodes, and (maybe) Team Fortress 2.  Everything else, nope. I've purchased World of Goo, Bioshock, Audiosurf, and the X-COM games more than once and never got to gift them, which sucks. In the same vein I can sort of see where they're coming from.
    1 week, 4 days ago
  • @DOUBLESHOCK said: "That's awesome that you visited Victoria because that's where I live!  It's been raining a lot lately, but so what it's still amazing. "Best city in Canada. Well, except for Esquimalt. But even Esquimalt isn't bad compared to Surrey or other parts of greater Vancouver.
    1 week, 4 days ago
  • I love Victoria. I'm going to stay here as long as I possibly can - beautiful weather, not overpopulated, hot coeds at UVic, and a very relaxing downtown area.
    1 week, 4 days ago
Nov. 8, 2009
Nov. 6, 2009
Added by DJ_Lae on May 8, 2009

There's a lot of great stuff in the iPhone/iPod Touch App Store, don't get me wrong. There's also a lot of crap. And until Apple does something to solve the process of wading through garbage to find gems, it's going to be painful for us all.

The worst offender would be the RPG section of the app store - it's an embarassment.

I'm not sure if Mafia Wars was the first game of its type on Myspace, or if it just aped something that came out years earlier as a MUD of some sort, but it's a simple, almost entirely text-based MMORPG where you complete jobs that take endurance points (they regenerate slowly in real time) to earn experience and money. You use that to buy better equipment, join up with other mobsters, and do it over and over again while periodically attacking other mobsters. Why? Who knows, but it's there.

That's fine and all, but the genre has exploded more than tower defense games, and I'd argue that it's worse because games in the vein of Mafia Wars are boring as shit. Plus, each and every one of them offers tiers of points for real cash ($10 to $50) that are used to buy henchmen to help you attack others with greater power. Christ.

A quick peek at the Top Free tab in the RPG section returns these:

iMob (25 points)
iMobsters (60 points)
Epic Pet Wars
Racing Live
Epic Pet Wars (10 points)
Mafia Wars (20 points)
Kingdoms Live
Vampire
Vampires Live
Mafia Wars
iMobsters
Undead LIVE!
Girl Wars
Mafia LIVE!
Famous
Agency Wars
Race Wars
iVampires

There are five other games on the list that aren't Mafia Wars clones (none in the top ten) - all the ones I've listed above are the same fucking game with different window dressing.

It's depressing. And what's more depressing is that the Top Paid section looks very similar, only with the larger paid point packs for these BBS-lite MMORPGs. I know the iPhone is starved for a good RPG, but this doesn't strike me as the solution.

Related to: Mafia Wars, Apple Inc.


Added by DJ_Lae on March 3, 2009


I'm not sure what drinks are going to be on this week's podcast so this might be a completely preemptive review.

I felt a bit odd sending a drink to the Giant Bomb crew without having tried it myself, so I'm sampling one at the moment, possibly at exactly the same time Ryan is pouring out the second for Jeff and Vinny and a reluctant Brad.

Black currants aren't a terribly popular fruit here in North America - they're much bigger in Europe, where the berries grow well in cold temperatures and make decent jams and jellies, and I think they're also used for syrup. If I recall my agricultural history their disuse here resulted from a ban over the currant plants carrying fungus or something of that nature. Maybe it was a pest or disease, I'm not quite sure.

They are grown now, however, and here in BC there are a few dozen tonnes produced every year. It's not much compared to the more popular berries (like blueberries), but still more than ten years ago.

If no one has had currants before, they're very much like wild blueberries - a little more tart than the commercial varieties and a more complex flavour. In many ways they taste like Saskatoon berries, which, coincidentally, is also another flavour of Beaver Buzz. Arguably the best flavour of Buzz, for that matter.

Anyway, to this Black Currant Energy.

It pours with no fizz and lacks much of the carbonation of the more popular energy drinks. It's a very, very dark purple colour and almost looks black unless you hold it up to the light. It also smells suspiciously like grape Mr. Freezies.

Kind of tastes like them, too. You can tell it's sugar and not corn syrup, and the currants (or fake currant flavouring, although I think it's the real stuff) give it a nice tangy edge. I kind of wish for more carbonation and less sugar, but it's not bad. I don't think I could drink an entire one, however...the colour is just a tiny bit too frightening.

Actually, I'm not getting any energy drink aftertaste, which is nice. Maybe that's the nicest think I can say about it.

The Saskatoon Berry one is better. The Green Tea? It's been ages since I've had one, but I remember it tasting like canned iced tea with a bit of an edge to it. If anything will get Brad in the game it's that one. And oddly enough, the only other energy drink I've seen with a black currant flavour is Bomba, which they taste tested on last week's podcast.

edit - after letting the dregs of my glass warm slowly up to room temperature I'm going to have to revise my description of the smell. It smells like a homemade red wine that hasn't quite aged long enough in the bottle - sweet and tangy but just a bit too green. I'm going to guess this thing mixes well with alcohol, too, although  I don't want to try that myself.


Added by DJ_Lae on Feb. 24, 2009

There are games in Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection that I've never played before. All of them surprised me - some in a good way, most not so much. I'll even ignore the horrible, horrible title of the compilation itself.

Beyond Oasis

I played long enough to get the achievement, which isn't very long in terms of time (maybe 15 minutes) but long enough to assess the game. It's like someone took Zelda and Aladdin and Streets of Rage and put them in a blender. The game plays out suspiciously like Zelda, has a vague arabian theme and a main dude who wears Aladdin-esque baggy pants, and the combat is more beat-em-up than the Zelda-like poke enemies until they die. It's weird.

It's also kind of crap. Movement is wonky and the main character's animation is terrible. He doesn't walk - he saunters. He crabwalks when you hold the jump button, which looks ridiculous. His legs are obviously not attached to the rest of his body (in an Abuse sort of way) which is just plain creepy. And finally, as a Zelda rip-off it falls short. Now that I have the achievement do I want to play more? No thanks.

Decap-Attack

This one was in the previous collection, I think, but I didn't have any urge to play it because it looked stupid.

It is stupid.

You play a mummy with no head, but wait! Your head is in your chest and you can pop it out to attack dudes. You can also pick up a fake head that launches when you attack whether you  want it to or not. You can also jump, and tapping the jump button while falling causes you to flutter your feet like Luigi and float down. Why? I have no idea. Jumping after building up momentum causes you to jump higher, which you'll need to reach higher platforms.

Unfortunately, as weird as the main guy is, the levels are terrible. They're ugly, boring, and are terribly designed. Pillars you can walk behind look the same as impassable walls. Some ledges blend in with the background. Statues sometimes pop enemies out, which get an auto hit on your. Health is hard to come by. Potions are useless.

Next.

Kid Chameleon

Also in the last collection. Also skipped it before. Also played it now only because of an achievement. Like Decap-Attack, the levels are terrible and uninspired. Unlike Decap-Attack, the main character is boring as hell. This game sucks.

Alex Kidd and the Enchanted Castle (or is that IN the Enchanted Castle?)

Yuck. Okay, I got 1000 yen. I never have to play it again. THANK GOD.

E-SWAT

Generic shooter. And I mean generic. You walk around, jump, shoot bad guys who look like you, only palette swapped, and move around some really ugly levels. Also, whoever designed the second level is a dick - it's terrible. Did all these companies hire the same asshole to design levels for all of these Sega games? The levels suck. Anyway, after the second level you get a big suit of armor that looks kind of ridiculous, but nothing else really changes except your bullets get bigger and more numerous. I don't know if anything magical happens later on because I'm never going to play any more.

Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine

Dr. Robotnik is an asshole - I swear he cheats when I play against him. Barring that, I absolutely hate falling block puzzle games. The only thing I hate more are competitive falling block puzzle games, because they mix two horrible things (puzzle games and frustration) and combine them into one black hole of gaming.

Also, I hate Columns. Maybe it was cool in its day. Maybe. Either way, it sucks now.

Golden Axe(s)

I've played these before and I don't really like playing them gain (damn achivements). They're some of the most generic brawlers I've ever played and the controls aren't even  all that satisfying. About the only memorable thing they have going for them are the stupid gnomes that run around begging to be beaten for magic potions and the lame digitized screams of the fallen enemies.

With all three Streets of Rage games in the collection, I see no reason why I will ever touch Golden Axe again. And I'm mystified as to their popularity, especially in the light of the recent Golden Axe release on the PS3 and 360. Yes, it's terrible, but what did people expect? The old games were terrible too.

Fatal Labyrinth

Okay, I'm weird, I liked this one. It's basically just Rogue with prettier graphics. There's not much to it, but there's also not much like this on consoles either. Too easy,  though - I never came close to dying and there are far too many weapons lying around the dungeons.

Bonanza Brothers

This one is terrible but I loved smashing cops behind doors. You can game the achievement by doing so. Also, the graphical style is amusing...it's like Leisure Suit Larry meets Spy vs. Spy.

Phantasy Star/Phantasy Star II/Phantasy Star III

Time is a cruel mistress.


Most of the other stuff is pretty damn awesome, though. All the Sonics, the Eccos, the Streets of Rages (except the first, which is ridiculously slow), Phantasy Star IV, Ristar, etc.

Well, except for Gain Ground. Ugh.


Added by DJ_Lae on Dec. 23, 2008

Excerpt from the iTunes App store for Puzzle Quest Chapter 1:

"The Battle of Gruulkar is the first chapter in the trilogy of the Puzzle Quest Challenge of the Warlords for iPhone and iPod Touch. Each chapter offers you the unique ability to store characters, spells and high scores, allowing you to carry your characters forward to Chapters 2 and 3, coming soon to the App Store."

Puzzle Quest on iPhone? Awesome. Puzzle Quest on iPhone split into three $10 chunks to take advantage of consumers?

Fuck you, Transgaming.

Rolando is ten bucks. Sim City is ten bucks. Puzzle Quest should be ten bucks.


Added by DJ_Lae on Dec. 5, 2008

Very few game addons are actually worth the points you have to shell out for them. I think the only one I've purchased this year is the pack for Project Gotham Racing 4, which added ten cars or so, a bunch of new modes, challenges, and online race types. Much of it was also offered as a free pack, so that everyone could use part of the new content. Not that it mattered, I suppose, since PGR4 sold poorly. I'm not even sure where my money went, now that Bizarre Creations is with Activision and Turn 10 now has the PGR license, so my whole plan of supporting dudes who work hard and make good games probably backfired.

I did also purchase an awful lot of Rock Band DLC, but I don't really count that alongside the other stuff as it's sort of a platform unto itself. I don't even want to think about how much I spent on songs for that game...I just know I have well over 4GB of DLC for it.

The top on my list of unashamed DLC would have to be PAIN. That game came free with my PS3 - fine, I guess, as I didn't have to pay anything for it. I wouldn't have paid anything for it - it's a shell of a game and not worth $10. Now it has what...two extra level packs at $5 each, plus a good dozen $1 characters? A person could easily spend $30 on PAIN, which is ridiculous. LittleBigPlanet's DLC costumes are almost as bad, since they're little more than Oblivion horse armor...only they come in a larger variety of styles.


DJ_Lae's Reviews
Sterile and uninspired (X360)
This fall marks the first time where we are truly swamped with full-band plastic instrument games. Each of them, ideally, should bring something unique to the table to distinguish themselves from one another. Rock Band has its hook via DLC, and copious and regular amounts of it. Guitar Hero: World ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on Nov. 4, 2008

2 out of 2 found this review helpful.
Beautifully campy, full of over-the-top violence and buxom women. (PC)
The original Sin was good, uncomplicated, violent and cheesy fun. It was also unfortunate enough to hit shelves at the same time as Half-Life, which, well, ended up being one of the most pivotal games in years. Needless to say, Sin got a bit lost in the shuffle - almost ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 30, 2008
Prince of Persia with rock-throwing and fantasy (MAC)
Dark Castle is a 1986 Mac classic that blends excellent gameplay with revolutionary production values (for the time). It was developed for the Mac by two guys under Silicon Beach Software: artist Mark Pierce and programmer Jonathan Gay. Jonathan would later go on to create Flash (yes, THAT Flash). Dark ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 21, 2008

2 out of 2 found this review helpful.
Showering your enemy with their own viscera (PC)
Is it wrong to enjoy raining blood and body parts on the heads of your enemies? Of course, in order to do so you have to land one or two cocktails (or more...nothing wrong with excessive explosions) in their midst and hope the fuse doesn't fail. Then you'll be rewarded ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 21, 2008
Cars with eyeballs (SNES)
Way back in the middle of the SNES days Nintendo introduced the FX chip in a number of its cartridges. As per the usual naming conventions started with the Super Nintendo and putting 'Super' in front of half the game titles and later continued with the Nintendo 64 and putting ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 21, 2008
Arguably the best RPG of all-time (PC)
The two main RPG styles are rarely broken - Japanese RPGs love their part fantasy part sci-fi settings with tween characters and Western ones are quite content with their monogomous relationship with Dungeons & Dragons. Occasionally you get a game that tiptoes out of such a description, but not very ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 21, 2008

1 out of 1 found this review helpful.
Great puzzle game marred by dumb companions ()
At first glance Exit appears to be a nice distraction from puzzle game conventions, with crisp, colourful graphics and a nice sense of style to complement its platforming/rescue focus. And it is a nice chance of pace from many puzzle games, since you get to run around with a dude ...
Reviewed by DJ_Lae on July 21, 2008


Date Joined: July 21, 2008
City: Victoria
Gender: Male
Alignment: Microsoft
Points: 5,844 Points
Ranked: Ranked #224 of 60,750
5,844 points you are ranked
224 of 60,734 users

Dark Castle
game - 938 points
Stunt Race FX
game - 491 points
Hour of Victory
game - 452 points
SiN
game - 297 points
Abuse
game - 252 points
The Adventures of Cookie & Cream
game - 165 points
Commander Keen 4: Secret of the Oracle
game - 164 points
Beyond Dark Castle
game - 162 points

Nostalgia
a list of 8 items by DJ_Lae
Kush 4 minutes ago
Will be leaving for Microcenter in a bit to try and snag a few 1600MS point cards for $12.99 ....
LordAndrew 12 hours, 24 minutes ago
I definitely prefer the new Giant Bomb frontpage to the NXE-styled frontpage.
Jeff 14 hours, 51 minutes ago
New Giant Bomb homepage is rolling out right now. Site might look crazy for a couple of minutes.
Ryan 18 hours, 2 minutes ago
RT @KensterFox: @taswell As in: Hoary Glallalujah, this is my ducky lay!
AimingWandersly 19 hours, 35 minutes ago
or 25... RT: @langfordperry: A little coffee, a little super Mario bros wii....as it turns out 40 is not that much different then 39.
Brad 23 hours, 13 minutes ago
Feeling strangely liberated since I quit using QuickSilver. Plugins didn't work worth spit in Snow Leopard anyway. Spotlight for life?
Bouke 2 days, 4 hours ago
Assassins Creed II; 360 or PS3 version? That's the question...
Hailinel 2 days, 9 hours ago
I decided to play Pain tonight. I'm not sure why. Not that it matters, since it's in the middle of downloading seven updates.