Cancelled Holiday Games

            Little known fact: I’m pretty well connected in the gaming industry. No, I’m not talking about my 28 loyal GiantBomb followers, of which three or four of you have actually read my blog. I’m talking connections with high ranking personnel within every major gaming publisher and developer in the world. That’s why through extensive use of blackmail and bribery, I am able to bring you a list of cancelled games that were slated for release this holiday season.

                Boy Band Hero: Activision put this puppy into development following Band Hero’s success, banking on sales from customers feeling nostalgia towards the late nineties or heavy drug use. Planned as a multi-platform title, it was later switched to an Xbox 360 exclusive to capitalize on Kinnect compatibility, allowing players to dance like confirmed artists NSYNC, The Backstreet Boys, O-Town and others.

                Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Expansion: Before all Hell broke loose at Infinity Ward, there were plans to make an expansion. It would include lost scenes from the single player campaign, 20 new multiplayer maps and 10 new Spec-Op missions. Instead the single player scenes have been scrapped and the maps have been broken up into four new map packs. No word on the Spec-Op missions, because despite what most people say, those people would rather have map packs.

                Left 4 Dead DLC: I had a snappy one liner for the seemingly endless delay of this planned DLC. However, as I was typing the sentence Valve’s legal department swarmed my house like the undead. Now I’m legally obligated to provide a link to the “Valve Time” web page. So…yeah. Doesn't mean I have to make it clickable. Take that, legal system!  http://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/Valve_Time

                Jane Eyre: EA struck gold with by turning classic literature into a video game with Dante’s Inferno, and quickly made plans to bleed the market dry. With an Inferno sequel already in the works, Jane Eyre was pegged as video game material, due to its high hack and slash potential. EA hasn't found a developer yet, so it was shelved.

                Condemned 3: Broken Blood Vessel: Sega wanted to put out a game this holiday season without Sonic and thought the name sounded cool and lent itself well to the ‘Bloodshot’ subtitle of the second game. Then Sega remembered they used to make sound business decisions.

                Eat, Pray, Love: Amaze Entertainment made the Night at the Museum game, which four people in the entire world wanted. With such a high bar to clear, Amaze acquired the rights to the upcoming Julia Roberts flick, with an eye towards a holiday release to coincide with the DVD release. Unfortunately, no gameplay ideas were conceived and Eat, Pray, Love was shelved.

                Candy Land: Headed to the Xbox Live Arcade, players will feel the adrenaline rush that only pressing a button to flip a card can provide.

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2 Comments
Posted by DrivingBj

            Little known fact: I’m pretty well connected in the gaming industry. No, I’m not talking about my 28 loyal GiantBomb followers, of which three or four of you have actually read my blog. I’m talking connections with high ranking personnel within every major gaming publisher and developer in the world. That’s why through extensive use of blackmail and bribery, I am able to bring you a list of cancelled games that were slated for release this holiday season.

                Boy Band Hero: Activision put this puppy into development following Band Hero’s success, banking on sales from customers feeling nostalgia towards the late nineties or heavy drug use. Planned as a multi-platform title, it was later switched to an Xbox 360 exclusive to capitalize on Kinnect compatibility, allowing players to dance like confirmed artists NSYNC, The Backstreet Boys, O-Town and others.

                Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Expansion: Before all Hell broke loose at Infinity Ward, there were plans to make an expansion. It would include lost scenes from the single player campaign, 20 new multiplayer maps and 10 new Spec-Op missions. Instead the single player scenes have been scrapped and the maps have been broken up into four new map packs. No word on the Spec-Op missions, because despite what most people say, those people would rather have map packs.

                Left 4 Dead DLC: I had a snappy one liner for the seemingly endless delay of this planned DLC. However, as I was typing the sentence Valve’s legal department swarmed my house like the undead. Now I’m legally obligated to provide a link to the “Valve Time” web page. So…yeah. Doesn't mean I have to make it clickable. Take that, legal system!  http://developer.valvesoftware.com/wiki/Valve_Time

                Jane Eyre: EA struck gold with by turning classic literature into a video game with Dante’s Inferno, and quickly made plans to bleed the market dry. With an Inferno sequel already in the works, Jane Eyre was pegged as video game material, due to its high hack and slash potential. EA hasn't found a developer yet, so it was shelved.

                Condemned 3: Broken Blood Vessel: Sega wanted to put out a game this holiday season without Sonic and thought the name sounded cool and lent itself well to the ‘Bloodshot’ subtitle of the second game. Then Sega remembered they used to make sound business decisions.

                Eat, Pray, Love: Amaze Entertainment made the Night at the Museum game, which four people in the entire world wanted. With such a high bar to clear, Amaze acquired the rights to the upcoming Julia Roberts flick, with an eye towards a holiday release to coincide with the DVD release. Unfortunately, no gameplay ideas were conceived and Eat, Pray, Love was shelved.

                Candy Land: Headed to the Xbox Live Arcade, players will feel the adrenaline rush that only pressing a button to flip a card can provide.

Posted by sh00tdabunny

Lol. Good old Valve. Valve time really should go into the dictionary.
 
Time:  an indefinite period (usually marked by specific attributes or activities); "he waited a long time"; "the time of year for planting"; "he was a great actor in his time"  
 
Valve Time:  an indefinite period