Thoughts on all of the 2011 games I played. (Not top10)

I'm going to link this in my badly written top 10 which I will most likely and scarily attach to the forums.

This was all written quickly and some of it over two months ago so I might have written something incredibly stupid, but oh well I guess.

This image has nothing to do with anything, but it has a skywhale with a beard which I thought was pretty cool.

Ico & Shadow of the Colossus: The Collection (PS3) - Both of these games are still pretty good. Who'd have thunk it. I don't feel comfortable about giving old games that are still widely available any space on a top 10 list for 2011.

Killzone 3 (PS3) - Have you ever tried to kill Rico? of course you have. First time it's fine. *revive him* Second time it's fine *revive him* Third time "It's payback motherfucker" and he will murder your face. Guerilla know you hate Rico, They don't care that you hate Rico and have to be admired at their refusal to sacrifice such a universally hated character.Killzone 3 is a short (five hours!!!), beautiful, weighty shooter that has far too many turret sequences, but at least it tries to mix things up from the usual bombed out buildings by adding alien jungles and spaceship battles.

Where the game shines is in its multiplayer which is full of insane moments where rockets whizz by your head and robot drones fly about the sky. I had so much fun and many hours of being genuinely good at the game. The ever-changing objectives and perks that disguise your soldier among other things are both beginner friendly and incredibly efficient.They somehow managed to create a set of abilities that neither break the game or feel unfair. It is incredibly satisfying to stand amongst a group of the enemy team shotgunning them all in the back and thumbing them in the eyes over and over before they finally realize what is happening. Any other year and Killzone 3 would probably have been a top-tenner.

El Shaddai (360) - I have not finished the game, but what I have played of it is entertaining and visually great. The voice acting is terrible, the story incomprehensible and the combat is a little repetitive. It is nice that the stages vary so much in style, but there doesn't really seem to be anything compelling me to move forward with the game other than to hear its grand music and hopefully fight more bosses that seem to act like David Bowie.

Cyber Troopers Virtual-On force (360) - This was one of those weird import moments I had where I was convinced I would enjoy this game despite already knowing I dislike the Virtual-On games. The graphics are bad, the music is bad, the controls are bad and it is absolutely no fun. The only plus I can give the game, is that after twenty minutes of play I had over 400 points in it.

Marvel Vs Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds (360) - I came to the game with every intention of learning how to play it properly and just under a week later I wanted to smash the game into pieces. I have a lot of love for many characters and the overall look of the game, but terrible training modes, barebones single player and some horrible lag in the few soul crushing online games I played really turned me off... Luckily Game had an offer to trade the game in and get Bulletstorm for £5.

Bulletstorm (360) - I liked this game, quite a lot actually. I was not a fan of the demo they put out, but I needed anything to wash the taste of MVC3 out of my mouth. I liked the characters, the look of the game and the heavy use of silly weapons and childish skill shot names. Some of the dialogue is forced, very forced, but don't mistake it's immaturity for lack of humour. for every "dicktits" there's a genuinely funny joke or visual gag and the whip-kick-shoot gameplay is very fun for the duration of the game, but not something you'd be itching to play above the million other, better shooters out there.

Child of Eden (360) - I don't really have any real comment on this other than I can't really play it, not that the game is too hard or it trips me so much the fuck out that i'm having seizures on the floor, but in that my brain cannot work out which way to move the stick . It's not the first time I have run into this problem it's something about inverted controls. If the aiming was on the right stick I'd be fine but because it is on the left sometimes I want to push up to move up and other times I want to push down making for a frustrating time. I have no idea why this is such an issue as I have no problem with Star Fox 3D. I'm a little bummed out by this as I have gotten to the end of the second stage (with difficulty) and it's visually amazing... oh well.

Raving Rabbids 3D/ Travel in Time (3DS) - My very first 3DS game, it's ok in small doses, very basic, very easy and would have probably been better suited as a small downloadable game. There's about a billion levels, but once you've seen one, you've seen them all. I don't regret buying the game, but I wouldn't be able to recommend it to anyone now that there are some quality platformers on the system. The Scarab 3D effect is nice... The first time you see it anyway.

Stacking (360) - Easy to forget this came out this year, liked the style and the music and some of the weirder humour elements, but I was done with the game in a single evening and towards the end I was kinda bored by the whole thing. The rolling Slo-Mo explosion moment near the end is kinda amazing though.

Bionic Commando Rearmed 2 (360) - I quite liked this game, like others it didn't grab me like the first and the pretty good soundtrack isn't even close to the quality of BCRA. There's some cool platforming stuff, some exploration and the "OMG YOU BROKE THE GAME" jump button isn't even an issue. There's no hiding the fact that it's all very mediocre though.

Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet (360) - Beautiful art and controls, but the game lacks any punch and the Metroid/Castlevania (Never merge the words... it's like crossing the streams!) exploration elements are so minimal that I can't help but feel a little disappointed. The final boss is also an issue in the game in that it ramps up the difficulty requiring you to become proficient in bullet hell shooters despite no other part of the game requiring this level of skill. It wouldn't be such a big deal if the game wasn't so devoid of challenge elsewhere, it just seems odd and out of place.

Hard Corps: Uprising (360) - A cool game that would have greatly benefited from a more casual mode. I'm all for nails-hard games like this being created and learning the levels/boss patterns, but Uprising's solution for the less skilled is buyable upgrades in one of the modes. The problem with this is that they're all ridiculously expensive and by the time average players are able to get upgrades of any worth they will most likely be bored of the second or third level where they keep getting murdered by some barely off screen enemy/pit/trap. The 30 lives upgrade isn't even buyable until you've completed the game making it completely pointless. The game is good though if you're willing to put in the time and effort, and if you really want to contribute to paying money for DLC that should be in the game you can buy one of the extra characters that turns a side scrolling shooter pretty much into Strider.

L.A Noire (360) - I liked this game a lot more at the beginning than I did at the end. the problem is that there's just far too much of it. I wanted the game to be over before I got to the last desk and the last few action orientated missions are the opposite of fun... Infact any time I had to shoot something I was wishing for a skip button.( I know you can skip the action, but when I buy a game I like to play all the different parts... and y'know achievements are tied to the combat) Obviously the facial stuff and acting is amazing, The bodies look weird and the puzzle solving/interrogation stuff could be handled better. You can't deny the games atmosphere and storytelling though. A truly mature game that isn't all about chainsawing a lizard man in half. (Dudes what is in Mad Men are in it so it must be pretty good.)

Galaga Legions DX (360) - Yo, this game isn't as good as Pac-Man... looks nice though.

Starfox 64 3D (3DS) - Lots of charm, nice updated graphics, some motherfucker animals that keep telling me I am becoming more like my father. Fuck you peppy, fuck you! lots of fun, too short.

Okamiden (DS) - Do you like the charm, humour and look of Okami on the PS2? If the answer is yes and don't mind some incredibly familiar scenery, not-so-amazing movement controls and frequent loading screens then this game is right up your alley. I actually like this game despite the negativity. There's really not a lot more to say about it other than it's totally more Okami, yet clearly not suitable for the system it was developed on.

Dead or Alive: Dimensions (3DS) - I have a lot of love for the game, my first ever DOA game and I was hugely fond of the insane story even though I know it's the edited down bullet point version of it. I think the game looks beautiful, plays incredibly smooth and there's a ridiculous amount of unlockable content in characters, costumes and figurines. It's fun in short bursts and pretty accessible to someone who has never touched the series before. The game also features some really nice 3D effects in the battle arenas.

Batman: Arkham City (360) - Batman is cool. he's like a bat and y'know a man. I liked Asylum, It was a great game, not the GOTY contender many proclaimed it to be, but a great 3D take on the Metroid/Castlevania formula with some great animation and visual flair in its combat and some stealth sequences that create a good sense of feeling like you are Batman. City is more of the same in a pretty small open world, that's slightly awkward to get around because of a stupid no-go area in the middle of it. I found the game to be a bit directionless at times, far too much information. From the moment you get your costume it's - riddler trophy, phonecall, man in street getting punched, "It's the Batman!", mission, trophy, trophy, trophy, catwoman trophy, trophy, trophy, trophy "It's the Batman!" and while I know this is primarily the enemy of the completionist inside of me and most of it is optional, there's just far too much of it. The story missions are all great though and while the bosses are visually amazing they're dull as dishwater to actually play. There's a lot of content here and the game looks amazing with a stirring musical score that's probably the most improved feature of the game. It's hard to be negative about something that plays so well. I enjoyed B:AC, quite a lot actually, no more, no less than the first one. There are far too many trophies to collect though.

Infamous 2 (PS3) - This game is cool, part platformer, part open world, part shooter. Far bigger in scale than the first game, but at the same time feels far too similar to the original. Gone are the interesting bosses replaced by faceless monsters and big lavamen. I like the Cole story, how it's gone from origin to full blown acceptance of his place as a hero/antihero. The game does the impossible though and that is to make Zeke a likeable character. The choices are still so black and white that at times its laughable and the switch at the end is the only time they ever change it up and i'm mostly ok with that. I don't play games like this for complex Karma systems. Once again the snipers and one hit kills put a downer on making you feel like a true superhero and while the character acted moments are really well done I kinda miss the comic book sequences that were all over the first game.(there's some but a lot less) It made so much sense. If I wanted to play Uncharted I'd play Uncharted. After the ending I'm curious to know where they'll go from here and as long as they do a little more to change things up and keep the quality of acting and brilliant music I will continue to enjoy the series.

+ Festival of Blood - Sucker punch's Undead nightmare equivalent is a ton of fun as long as you know you're getting the video game equivalent of an alternative one off television episode. The flying bat power is fucking awesome and some of the audio files scattered about the city are amusing/interesting and fun to collect. This is more infamous 2, just more bitey.

Aliens: Infestation (DS) - Wayforwards spritework is so incredibly gorgeous and the developers love for the franchise is evident in every single corner of the game from memorable quotes, scenery and sequences ripped straight out of the movies. Many moments of the incredibly brief almost-metroid game left me, someone that believes Aliens to be pretty much the greatest movie in the world ever in the world ever with the hugest smile on my face. For a DS game there's a surprising amount of tension and the death of an unretrievable marine is always around the corner resulting in the frantic scramble to the nearest safe room a pretty regular occurence. The monkey aliens in the latter areas and bosses kind of hurt the game forcing you into a fire-the-most-damaging-weapon-in-the-enemies-face and hope for the best attitude where some pattern based bosses would have been more appropriate. Despite the few problems it feels like a game that was made specifically for me and people of a certain agegroup. If you love Aliens, the 16 bit era or just love beautiful 2D animation this game is easily recommended.

Alice: Madness Returns (360) - 2011 has been an amazing year for platformers and Alice is a great example of an old fashioned jumpy platformer, infact theres so much jumping in this game it could possibly be a little too excessive. The darkness of the first Alice game is back in Wonderland and Alice needs to double and even triple jump the fuck out of a trillion tiny platforms. There's a lot of game here, a lot bigger than many other games this year and while the core of the gameplay never changes the combat is always very smooth and exciting with an emphasis on knowing which enemies to take out first. I really like the games weapons even if the pepper grinder is essentially a machine gun and the teapot is a grenade launcher. Some of the transistions when you go back to real world London are cool, even if they're mostly unimportant filler. The game also features one of the darkest and most mature endings I have seen in a game.

The original also came with the game and as someone that used to speak of it as one of the best games ever made it's very hard to go back to. Chris Vrenna's score is still amazing and creepy and it has better ties to the source material than anything in Madness returns, but I'd recommend the sequel over it as it is an improvement in almost every single way it plays.

Modern Warfare 3 (360) - Sometimes even fun things can get a bit boring and MW3 is a lot of expertly crafted noise. The formula needs some serious change, something that I have seen echoed in a bunch of places. That spark in my heart is no longer activated by a bit of guitar and a "challenge complete".

Socom 4/ Special Forces (PS3) - Like Battlefield 3 A series known for its online had its new game put a lot of focus on it's single player and whilst BF3's campaign feels like a go-here-shoot-that-yawnfest Socom goes the more action adventure route. The games use of greens and jungles already separate it from the other military shooters and while there's a bunch of weird control issues and some strangely scripted yet exciting stealth sequences I always felt like the more restrained approach to setpieces is the way forward for a lot of these shooters. Some of the character interaction is great and playable 45 ( A female, Korean stealth specialist) makes a refreshing change. The music is easily the best score in any game I have played this year coming off a lot more like the original Rambo's than the standard Zimmeresqe score that's become so tiring and predictable. There is some competitive, but my interest in it was play one of each type for a trophy and then never touch it again, the co-op is fun and reminded me a lot like GRAW's. Possibly the best thing about it is that there isn't a single forced Turret sequence to be seen in the game.

Deathsmiles (360) - I thought I liked this game a lot more than I actually did at the start of the year when it came out (UK), but after going back to the game after playing Espgaluda II I realized I prefer the vertical scrolling Cave shooters to the Horiziontal ones (Is that right? I have no idea i'm not hardcore enough into this scene or whatever) and the flow is better in the enemies. I can't quite explain what I mean, but the way you move from left to right scoring is like a kind of hypnotic wave motion. Anyways Deathsmiles is great despite not being my preferred Cave game. Lots of great enemy designs, shouty Goth-Lolis in questionable non-age appropriate poses and a boss which is a giant murderous cow.

Lego Pirates of the Caribbean (360) - I like the Lego games, This one looks the nicest. You know what you think of these games by this point. Harry Potter years 1-4 is still the best I have played though.

Radiant Silvergun & Guardian Heroes (360) - I love Treasure, so much I changed my username this year to a character in one of their games. Radiant Silvergun is a wonderfully crafted puzzle-shooter hybrid with some insanely stupid anime sequences bookending the game and Guardian Heroes is a fantastic side scrolling beat-em-up with RPG elements and some choice in the way you go through the incredibly short story. Both games are great, have awesome music and leave me with the same feeling that all of the best Treasure games come off like Licensed games for the best Saturday morning cartoons that were never made.

Bloodrayne Betrayal (360) - Great combat and once again beautiful art from Wayforward, but the platforming isn't good enough. You never, ever feel comfortable in sequences where you must jump from tiny platform to tinier platform and it really hurts what is a pretty good hack & slash game.

Ms. 'Splosion Man (360) - The Meat Boy comparison... The more I think about it, the less I think the different controls are a problem. The Twisted Pixel humour is intact, making this one of the funniest games of the year, Predator, Total Recall and countless female pop song snippets sung in semi gibberish are all wonderful things. The difficulty is this games biggest issue, I like hard, I like overcoming tough obstacles and saying "yeah, I beat this game tons of people couldn't" But some of the checkpointing in MSM is mean spirited and sucks a lot of the fun out of progressing. Meat Boy always had another option, another thing to try and its bitesized nature never made for a frustrating game, but this game has such long levels and checkpoints that are occasionally semi-luck dependant that there is often brick wall moments. Eventually you'll do it and there's definately satisfaction in getting to the end of a level, but getting stuck on a checkpoint after being stuck on a tough checkpoint in the middle of a level creates more of a "fuck this game" attitude than I had in any part of the first game. When the game gets its difficulty and flow right its amazing, but far too often it's cruelty erases any goodwill you had towards it.

Shadows of the Damned (360) - I wanted to love this so much. Everything about this game is amazing! Y'know other than the part where you have to play it. Not-so-good combat, annoying enemies and far too many one hit kill encounters that put you back before slow loading, unskippable cutscenes. The visually great side scrolling sequences are painfully unfun, but that writing... Just perfect mixture of black humour, filth and the nuttiest Japaneseness of any game this year. I'd love to see a less wonky sequel, but the awful sales have pretty much put any idea of that to rest. If there was ever a game that needed fixing and a second chance this is it.

Outland (360) - Yet another Metroid/Castlevania type game that's not as Castlevaniaey or Metroidey as It could have been, there's a lot of hidden money and valuable heart items if you backtrack but nothing really in the way of powers. All of the ones you need are given to you in the story progression. The art is great despite it sometimes being a little hard to differentiate between the background and the foreground. It really does shine in it's brilliant pattern based bosses and rooms filled with insane bullethell. The game demands some real quick thinking platforming as you shift back and forth between the blue and red forms. The game is almost never cheap, If you died it is nearly always your own fault, probably impatience with an area. The game demands you to learn how to shift, just forcing your way through an area taking damage will almost certainly result in death, even after aquiring many of the much needed health and magic items. It's a great game that hung about on my top 10 for a looong time, more people should play this.

Saints Row: The Third (360) - The structure of this game is a bit weird. They throw a lot of pretty uninteresting side mission tutorials at you very early on and you're left wondering if the insane nonsense the trailers showed is ever going to come. It definitely does, but for every amazing sky diving tank or wrestling sequence you're give a billion uninteresting side missions. Yeah, I know they're optional but without doing them a lot of upgrades and perks that make the game more fun are locked away from you. The Helicopter and insurance fraud missions are the worst. I can't quite understand why they left these in especially the latter with it's annoying controls and the traffics insistence on stopping at lights. The core of the game is solid, but a LOT like the game that came before it. I'm hoping they do go all out crazy next time though. There are long stretches of SR3 that are far too sane for my liking.

The Binding of Isaac (PC) - I seem to have replaced my love for Twisted Pixel with a love for Team Meat. Yeah, I know this isn't a Team Meat game, but it has the same kind of spirit as Super Meat Boy, similar art style, similar twisted humour and an incredibly punishing difficulty. the structure of the game is great and every single time I'd have a bad run I would immediately say "ahhh maybe next time it will go better" and I end up sitting there for a few hours. It's a nice distraction, although my opinion on it was harmed a little by a corrupt save. There's also some really great music in there, it's not all as good as the Meat Boy stuff but the first dungeon has an amazing tune.

Battlefield 3 (PC) - I played about half an hour of the campaign and don't really have anything of worth to say about it other than it felt like the usual old modern, military first person shooter. It looks really nice, but man is the constant use of quick time events annoying.

I played two online matches I got killed a bunch. I'm sure it is great if you like big open maps and whatnot, but this game really, really isn't for me. I really do just prefer the small maps and run and gunnyness of Call of Duty.

Pushmo/Pullblox (3DS) - This game is a really cool puzzle game, it's simplistic and fun and can get really tricky quite early on. great use of 3D and almost infinite playtime because of the level editor and QR codes.

Freakyforms (3DS) - It's not really a game and the character creation is really, really limited, but the voice changer is fun and cracking eggs for coins is always awesome.

Mighty Switch Force (3DS) - Awesome puzzle platformer with possibly some of my favourite music of the year. It has beautiful sprite animation and some stunningly intricate backgrounds. It probably the best game on the 3DS e-shop at the moment. a ton of fun for the whole of its very brief playtime.


Edity bit!


The first time this bit of music played in Batman was during a stealth sequence and It got me so pumped. I was all fuck yeah, i'm Batman and stuff... Love the music in that game. Also the main title theme is wonderful as fuck.

CHEMICAL PLANT ZONE MUSIC IN A GAME MADE IN 2011 IS THE COOLEST THING EVER!... Oh yeah and there's about a million other old Sonic tracks remixed in that game and they're all mostly awesome. If you hate Chemical Plant zone there's a high chance I hate you and I bet you like Ecco the Dolphin or something.

Holy shit is the music in Mighty Switch Force awesome. Catchy, electronicy, poppy funtime music...and theres a Track on the OST called "Whoa, I'm in space Cuba"

Love the shit out of the Socom 4 score, some of Bear McCreary's best stuff outside of Battlestar or the Walking Dead. The main theme for this game is phenomenal...also you should go listen to his music from Dark Void. Shit game, Ace music!

Sooooo much music in the game, Most of the first party Sony games this year has fucking awesome scores. The Bit here isn't fully representative of the score in that game because there's a bunch of different styles, some Jazzy, some rocky and some big dramatic orchestral pieces... most of it is awesome though.

Brilliant music in Killzone, not really all that fitting with the game it belongs to, but that violin that plays at the beginning is beautiful.

Love the westerny vibe that Bastion has in it's music. everyone loves the music in the game apparently, I hear there's some vocal tracks or something. You should probably play that game to hear them.

Like the music in Ghost Trick it's pretty old fashioned game music but it has catchy beats and fits the style of game perfectly.

Plinky-Plonky Mario music, Fuck yeah! I hated the 3D land theme to begin with and it grew on me the more it played in the game, but this remix of it used in a couple of the levels is kinda great. Also, MARIO 3 ATHLETIC MUSIC REMIX!

Steve Jablonsky is one of those dudes you get when Hans Zimmer isn't available and the Gears 2 score was kinda dull, but there's a lot of great themes that run through Gears 3 and the big, epic theme in the final level is a great use of big swelling strings. The music he did for Gears 3 is better than anything he has done in the mostly unmemorable Transformers movies and I am hugely fond of it.

Possibly the weakest Uncharted score because it so clearly wants to sound like it comes from The Lawrence of Arabia movie... which is funny because the game is about Lawrence of Arabia. It's the usual grand thing, brilliant but far more predictable this time around.

Yeah whatevs. I grew up loving the music in the MK games and the new versions of old songs are fucking great!

Love this bit of music, so meatboy-y, kinda depressing, kinda awesome!

I really liked all of the orchestral score in Skyward Sword, especially the Sky music every time you flew on the bird. It made me feel like I was in a Miyazaki film or something. Also love the Theme song Zelda plays on the harp and the clunky, light industrial sound of Lanryu desert of the past.

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Poor Decisions

Sometimes I make some pretty big mistakes, Like that time I bought Dark Void and tried to convince myself over the next few days that it was actually good.Other times my childish brain decides for me... for instance some time last week I was playing the brilliantly brilliant Sonic Generations and got to the Shadow boss stage where I was met with some mid 90s saturday morning cartoon sounding Shadow theme. It went like "shadooooooowwww, he's the coolest, he's a hedgehog and heeees black and red n' stuff"* with some grrr metal behind it. It was the greatest/worst/greatest/worst/greatest song I had ever heard so I hopped onto amazon marketplace to get what I initially thought was the greatest deal of the decade... Shadow the Hedgehog for 45p.

This was quite possibly one of the biggest gaming mistakes I had ever made. It turns out that Shadow rivals Ecco as Sega's biggest douchebag. Not only does he think an SMG is like a pump action shotgun but he's a whiney piece of shit thats all "who am I?" until hes snorting ground up chaos emeralds off some furry prostitutes tail at the end of the stage where he thinks hes the shit and other edgy terms that may or may not be out of date. AND he still manages to make friends with Charmy the Bee and Fuckface the Marmoset.

45p was too much money for this shit. I was going to do an extensive write up on all of the worst Sonic games, but this soured all interest in a matter of minutes. I played the game for 3 hours straight and I can only imagine the nightmares i'd get from Sonic 06.

Instead here are some photos of the games journey from the Xbox to the bin!

Here is a picture of the game in my 360 only posted so I can show off my Super Sonic avatar costume.
Here is a picture I took trying to be clever and get the game box and my avatar in... It didn't work.
Here is where the game now lives, In a bin in my kitchen...fuck this game.

* These lyrics may possibly be made up.

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 I like games, here is a list, It is written badly... sorry.

 Notable games that are missing 

I played an imported Bayonetta last year, I placed it at #4 in 2009. I did re-buy the game for the 360 (for a toy gun) and an incredible game was made far more incredible with a smooth framerate and menus that don't take a year to open. Bayonetta is one of the finest games ever made... you should probably play it.  Also missing is Heavy Rain, this was at the top of my list for the majority of the year and it truly is an experience like no other. I have thought long and hard about talking about the game but  Theres a ton of highly personal things attached to it for me and I cannot bring myself to really talk about the game detail... if you have a PS3 you should probably play it. Super Street Fighter IV. I put about 600ish hours into vanilla  and just burnt out on the game. I played it so much that by the time Super came around I just couldn't be bothered to learn to fight against the new characters with so many other games coming out. Super is an amazing game, just one I cannot bring myself to play. If you like fighting games... you should probably play it.

1. Red Dead Redemption

 Unknown to him  a bear torrent had opened up behind him.

Ten hours in and i'm hunting a deer, for no reason in particular but I know one thing... That deer needs to die! Once I have finished up skinning my prey I come across some Mexicans about to execute someone on their knees, are they good? bad? who knows? I think I'm doing the right thing when I go into Matrix slo-mo bullet time and shoot all of the dudes with guns in the face. It turns out this was a negative action but that doesn't matter as I can just trot on by on my horse (that  occasionally just flies off into space or gets consumed by a piece of scenery) as someone whistles away on the soundtrack and the sun is setting like a perfect scene in one of your favourite westerns. And that's why I love this game, Red Dead Redemption nails the atmosphere perfectly. A game that does exactly what it sets out to do and that is to redeem John Marston of his criminal past.  Now the end missions are a love/hate kind of thing but personally  I cannot understand how anyone could be put off by a set of missions that show exactly why John would do all of the terrible things throughout the game. John does it all for love, his son, his wife, he just wants to be left in peace but the law will not allow him to go unpunished. The first big ending of the game is how you would expect a western to end, the hero going out in one last blaze of glory and what a beautiful ending, one of the finest endings for any  game in my opinion. I thought the game was brilliant while I was playing it but the ending  knocked it up a notch to stunning. From the moment John gets off of a train to the loud gunshots of revenge I was completely consumed by this world and it's brilliant characters. By far the best game I played all year.

2. Mass Effect 2 


 I totally has space sex with an alien dude... it was awesome.

Everything about Mass Effect 2 is better, the characters, the action, the setpieces. The opening sequence is amazing and everything leading up to the suicide mission is terribly exiting. I played through Mass Effect about seven times but in one playthrough of this I feel like I have far more of a connection to my squad than ever before. I dont want any of them to die... even the shit ones (Jack). Thane, one of the most beautifully written characters I have ever encountered in a game and my imported female shepard are sitting in a tree k.i.s.s.i.n.g. Mordin is around to  make some weird jokes about science and Grunt is stomping about insulting everyone for being weak. I don't really know how to say what I want to about this game other than space is awesome and  Mass Effects world is so rich and complete, and with the amazing DLC being released only gets better and better. I cannot wait for the conclusion of this story, Shepards story... MY Shepards story.

3. Pac-Man Championship Edition DX




4. Super Meat Boy

This is a big meat-man trying to kill a little meat-man... Meat is pretty good.   


There was a point in late October when everyone was talking about how addictive, frustrating and fun this game was with it's fancy, sorta retro-modern soundtrack  so I played the demo, died a few times and said "All of you people are fucking idiots" quit and deleted it. Almost a couple of months later it's like 5am and i'm sitting bored, it just so happens that my bank details are stored inside the 360 and I need something to help me with my  horrible insomniac ways. I'm thinking about Prototype... £15 for prototype is  FAR too much..what else can I get... Super Meat Boy... He looks cute... That'll tide me over til tommorow. Six hours later and i'm still playing Meat Boy! I know what to do, I can do it, I did it before..want.more.bandages!!!! I have fallen in LOVE with Super Meat Boy! The game brilliantly forces you on with its brilliant lack of loading times and perfect control over jumps. Things that initially seem impossible become a breeze after a few minutes and if you can't do something, Try something else. So much freedom and very little to be annoyed by. I hear a lot of people say they swear a lot at the game but Meat Boy keeps me relatively calm. I get far more angry at other games  for being beaten by bullshit game mechanics  and other than  the Final  boss level (the one I am stuck on) I have never  felt like anything was at fault other than myself. That's pretty good going, 172 levels completed  so far and only one real misstep. I <3 Meat Boy as a character and the Chad boss outro is  so incredibly funny that i'm willing to forgive it completely. 
The music is also brilliant.

5. Vanquish.


There was this one moment where I rocket-leg boosted through a giant bipedal robots legs blasting away at its obligatory big yellow weak spots when I suddenly jumped to the side doing this cool anime-esque pose in slow-mo and shot a commie robot in the face,  whipped around and immediately rocket boost kicked another robot in the face. It was the moment that Vanquish clicked. This moment was relatively late in the game, I knew I liked it but Vanquish is a game that goes so fast that my appreciation of it couldn't catch up with it's blistering speed and style. A very Japanese game made  for the west  and doing everything it sets out to do almost perfectly. Vanquishes beauty isn't revealed until you play it in different ways. It can be played as a standard third person, cover based shooter similar to Gears (The wrong way) or speed around the arenas with tight as hell controls  getting up close and personal and dispatching enemies in slo-mo assisted style. (The right way) It's definitely not about the story and it's pretty short (Not as short as some would say) but there is no filler here, just a pure shot of wonderfully designed fun and definitely deserves to be played by more people.
It also features an NPC shouting" Dosvidanya bitches" whilst shooting robots in the face.

6. Castlevania: Lords of Shadow

 press X  two or three  times then pull the left trigger... works every time.

I like Platform games a lot but they seem to be a dying breed. Not the retro styled games like Meat Boy or Limbo but fully 3D platformers and if Castlevania is the closest i'm getting whilst I wait for a new Ratchet game then I sure as hell am gonna take it. That seems like a weird place to start when talking about a game like Castlevania as the first impression most if not all are going to get is that it's some kind of God of War clone, and that comparison only really fits to some degree. The moments that stuck with me far beyond the mostly slash-slash-roll combat are those when i'm leaping from platforms, swinging from my chain and shimmying across crumbling rocks, all whilst constantly being stunned by the beautiful  landscapes accompanied by  an amazing orchestral score. (possibly the best score this year) Castlevania is a pretty game that constantly keeps things fresh by changing up landscapes and adding new mechanics all the way up to the final few levels. The game is long, challenging and has great boss encounters with some really nice low camera angles and a slight handheld feel that really  makes the action come off as a lot more exciting than the button inputs you are pressing. I have a ridiculously long list of things I want to say about this game, it surprised me for a game I had almost no interest in for a large part of the year. The ending is great and genuinely touching helped very much by Robert Carlyles pretty restrained  performance and I'm now really looking forward to the dlc.
Patrick Stewart is awesome but oh man is his performance insanely over the top,  those loading screens were a little too overbearing sometimes.

7. Rock Band 3


 My band is called Untidy Goblin.

The lack of people caring for this game is a shame but unfortunately It was to be expected. You can talk about how good Pro guitar, Keyboards and Drums are but I have zero interest in any of that, I LOVE Rock Band it gives me a reason to sing Sister Christian till my lungs explode and strive for meaningless challenges like get a bazillion big rock endings or whatever. I can see how some could be burnt out on the series but to someone  that has stuck with the DLC for a couple of years this really is the perfect upgrade. I haven't really done much of the keyboards, and as I said Pro mode really has very little appeal considering ive never even been bothered to progress beyond medium on some instruments. ( I prefer to sing)  Possibly the end point for the band-based, music rhythm games, It goes out on a high.

8. After Burner Climax


wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh200points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!missile, missile HUGE FUCKING RETICULE!<3<3<3<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. DJ Hero 2

 I have never been to a dancey type club so I am assuming this is what they look like in real life... just everyone is a little more like Gerry Anderson puppets.

Possibly the best experience I have ever had with playing a music rhythm game single player. Really engaging and a ton of things that make you feel like you have some influence over how the song plays out even if  you  have no real control over it. The heavier emphasis on eurodancey  and pop music is a little saddening after the first games  soul  and hip hop focus but theres so many high quality mixes in there it's hard to complain. Theres something about the games style and sounds that make me like the game, it's nice to have something fresh and new  stuck in your head when you  primarily listen to music with guitars.


10. Darksiders

           I like horses and I like fire so if a game has a horse on fire i'm probably going to be into it.  (Do not set fire to horses... thats not cool.)

Zelda with a horse on fire. Great acting, cool story and steals a ton of stuff...a ton of the right stuff from other games. that mixed with some really varied  environments a ton of  collectibles and some of the most beautiful artwork of any game that came out this year, cannot wait for the sequel.

Other opinions on other games that were released in the year 2010 


ilomilo - Fuck Yeah! this game is cool and possibly made by those kinds annoying people that are into felt animals and make music videos for twee indie pop bands, Brilliantly designed puzzles and  art and design  that is so "awwwwwwwwww" that you hate yourself for being completely in love with it, some absolutely brilliant music and one of the coolest and most original achievements I have ever seen in a game. The little band dudes are adorable also.... I pretend to do that little trumpet noise all the time when making cups of tea and doing other cute things like crochet mushrooms and make stop motion videos with tiny plasticine birds. 
 Alan Wake -  I flip-flopped forever about this games worthiness in my top 10, I really, really, really like Alan Wake but I know it has so many problems, the controls are a little off and the lip synching in the main game is not very good but it has a ton of personality and a brilliant atmosphere. The episodic structure really helps and the games pacing is spot on. It's funny and  despite Alan being a huge cock he is kinda likeable. Some amazing choices for songs in the game coupled with some great DLC both having standout moments and both highlighting different (and huge) problems with  some of the design decisions they made. I prefer the way the on disc game ends  a lot more than Alan finding himself in The Writer(spoiler) I'd like to see another game in the series  it has a very unique flavour to it, not quite survival horror, not quite  action-shooter and at points is incredibly witty.
     Assassins Creed: Brotherhood -  Very good, great ending a little bit too much AC2.5 ( I hate myself a little for saying that) but it really is very true. The Assassins you can call in are  fucking awesome but somewhere new (not modern) would be nice next time though.
Lego harry Potter: Years 1-4 -  As someone that really likes the Lego game formula I can  confidently say this is easily the best of the games TT have made, with much less reliance on combat and more on just magicing shit about. so much stuff to pop and smash, a brilliant  and very lengthy game.
Halo reach -  The best looking and best Online Halo game I have played. The campaign is good but nothing particularly special and the ending left me kinda cold. I played a ton of the multiplayer when it first came out and got relatively ok at it,  it was a lot of fun.
Bioshock 2 -  This game is cool, the story is better than expected  even if it wasn't neccessary and the music and art design is still very strong. I liked the characters and the tape recorders  lying around are still a ton of fun.  A big sisters scream is a terrifying thing.... shame she's such a pushover to kill.
Comic Jumper -  One of the funniest games ever made, not quite as brilliant as 'Splosion man as a lot of that games weirdness was unforseen but the Total Recall jokes and completely offensive Silver age sections are some of the best comedy writing in a game I have ever heard... also features one of the three best winnable avatar items out there, The giant smiley head!
Limbo -  It's pretty and clever and never quite fully goes beyond being anything more than a very good puzzle-platformer. the sound design and art is some of the best this year. I would say it is probably  my personal "best looking game of 2010"
Codblops -  I have like gun and dudes get shooted in the face +100... is fun.(like the last three times)
Lara croft and the Guardian of Light -  Now this game is great, very fun little game with some really good challenges, well worth it's price for the amount of content in the game. Much better than I would have ever expected.
Yakuza 3 - This game is ace, I'd love to have finished it but my PS3 died and is irrepairable so my save for it is lost, completely nuts and  fistfighting/stomping on randoms faces around tokyo never gets old. I may return to it if I ever get another console.
Dead Rising 2 -  I adore the first game and the refinements to the formula in DR2 are kinda cool. Something really needs to be done about the psychopaths next time though. Combo weapons are fantastically nasty. 

  End bit.

Thats that I guess, well done if you read it all and struggled through my terrible sentencing  and over excitement at   ghost trains and  fast planes. I got Super Scribblenauts and Sonic Colours for christmas and theyre both incredibly good from what little I have played but don't feel confident enough to add them to any list of any kind. I do love videogames and 2010 has had so many good ones, more than  I was ever expecting and I am really excited  for both 2011 and   finally getting around to buying a brand new PS3. 
Stop typing!!! efjl;hwerpidfkliv jklgbio;
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Enslaved, Story frustrations and massive spoilers.

Has anyone else found the storytelling to be really frustrating in this game?  The developers have made a big deal about getting Andy Serkis to direct the game and Alex Garland to write it only for the whole experience to feel like most of the story is missing. By the time the final cutscene rolls around I know nothing about Monkey other than he trades with other communities, can jump about a bit and has ridiculously large hands. Trip is mildly annoying at points and I cannot understand how Monkey is so calm with her for basically making him a slave. I understand that theyre going for more of a feel than outright character facts but it would be really nice to know something about the main characters other than how they act around each other.  

Ive heard in a lot of interviews that Alex Garland came in and questioned a lot of why  things were happening so they changed the game to answer this and i'm pretty sure this has lead to the excessive handholding that continues right up until the final part of the final boss. The game constantly throws you out of the world by saying "hey look, enemy here, enemy there, jump here, do this" sometimes I just wanted to explore and find my own way through this (mostly) beautiful world but the game never let me do this, I was constantly told what to do. This leads to a weird jerkiness in the way the story is told, I'm often meant to feel like I am under some kind of time pressure and all the game wants to do is pull out and show me that another slow moving object has shifted into place.  

Pigsy, I HATE Pigsy, he ruins a lot of what makes the initial story so interesting. He would be ok if he was just in a small part of the game but he follows you around for the whole back end of the game making unfunny, badly acted quips about icecream and hair product. By the time his demise rolls around I was so glad I wouldn't have to listen to his shitty dialogue and that's where I'm thrown another frustration about the story, the game starts getting all orchestral as bullets fly into him in slo-mo while Monkey saves trip and I'm meant to feel like pigsy has done so much for me and that this highly emotional moment was earned. No, not at all. I know nothing about Pigsy other than he likes Trip and Mechs and snorts like a pig. The funniest thing about this is that pigsy is the most fleshed out of the three main characters.  

Trip and Monkeys scenes are well acted but far too brief, I understand that some people hate lengthy cutscenes but this game  cuts them off whenever they get vaguely interesting, Just a little more about these two would be nice. Everything is just said in a throwaway manner "ive got a works sometimes...and sometimes it doesn't" ooook, thanks, why did the slavers let you keep it? Why did they take your bike and "stuff" along with you when you were just going to put into Pyramid slavery? because anyone that has seen the epilogue would know that all of those things are pointless. They sometimes talk about this war, but other than the overgrown world and mechs they never explain beyond this, So frustrating! I just want to know a little more beyond "Monkey probably has feelings for trip" A scene late in the game tries for some emotional impact when Trip turns off the headband and Monkey is all "turn it back on!" in an angry manner like we should know why as beyond the slight anger in the earliest scenes in the game Monkey is a relatively calm character.  

I want to like the games story, the setting is original (as original as post apocalyptic worlds go) and I'm reminded in the back of my mind about how beautiful Heavenly Swords storytelling was but in Enslaved im constantly thrown unearned big emotional moments with characters I dont really care for and even more annoyingly a lot of the  big emotional scenes have music just cut off  abruptly as a loading screen kicks in, theres nothing worse than destroying moments like that. When the ending finally rolls around  youre just greeted with a bad Matrix rip off, It took Alex Garland to write this poorly thought out idea? If Hollywood Writers are going to come along and elevate videogames to some kind of artform theyre going to have to rtry a lot harder than this when games like Uncharted, GTAIV and Red Dead Redemption are all doing it a whole lot better. Even Gears does characterization better than this. I know who  Delta Squad are as people I couldn't tell you at all who Monkey or Trip are.    
I liked Enslaved, it's a good game, the platforming feels fine, theres some fun puzzles and the combat is pretty exciting despite not changing  from the first enemy to the last and the game looks pretty.  For all of it's story annoyances it is acted really well for the most part with  Monkey and Trips interaction coming off as believeable, the score is also pretty good but the way it just cuts out after youve killed all the enemies and then starts up  five seconds later after another encounter  really throws off the flow of things. I heard an interview with Nitin Sawhney and he talked about making the music flow (a bit like Metal Gear shifts from sneaky to action in an instant) and this does not happen at all in the game which is a little disappointing.  The game is very easy and very short and I dont think anyone will have any real problems with the game. The only time I had any real problem with it was when the camera jerked suddenly when I rolled or the whole camera broke out of the world and I was gunned down by an invisible mech. I wish I could say I want to see more of Monkey but I honestly don't really care which is a little disappointing as I left Heavenly Sword wanting to see more or Nariko and Kai and expected something similar. It was a nice distraction for a weekend but I feel like I'd have been better off buying Castlevania.

Big list of games/DLC I've been playing in the last two monthsish


Lost planet 2

-  I decided after hearing that a patch fixed the game that it was much more manageble now. The patch does fix this but it cannot save the game from being utter junk.  

Mass Effect 2

-  In amongst playing all the DLC I have been working my way through insanity, I am now at the final boss and I HATEHATEHATE!   the collectors as they are the only thing making this fight in any way difficult.  

Final Fantasy XIII

- I got to Gran Pulse!! I'm chipping away at that game slow as hell. I quite like the nonsensical story and it's a shame it felt like such a major grind getting there. I do really like the combat though.  

Borderlands - Finally kicked the shit out of Crawmerax the dickish and have all the achievements in that game that arent Mad Moxxi based.  

DJ Hero -  Still Love this game, I got all of my online wins and I'm quite pleased that the achievements in the sequel seem to be focussed really heavily on multiplayer as it's a ton of fun to play against other people.  

Red Dead Redemption -  I'm not a massive fan of the multiplayer but free roam is a frustratingly frustrating experience. Just travelling to gang hideouts can get you killed about 20 or so times and that is fucking terrible.  I dont give a fuck about competitive modes that have lock on. I'd love to go and do those free missions and rank up to 50 but I just get so angry at the game... It's a good job I loved the hell out of the single player.  

Limbo - Game is cool, probably the most visually beautiful game I have played all year and has some cool puzzles. It aint no Braid thats for sure.  

Mod Nation Racers -  I need to play some more of this post  casual mode patch, the AI in thet game is ridiculously cheaty.. It also doesn't help that my PS3 has been broken for months and months. 
After Burner Climax - Immmmmmmmmgoinnnnngggggggsoooooofassssssssttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Crackdown 2 -  loved the fuck out of the first game, love it to hell but I burnt out very quickly on the second game, far, far, far too similar and far too repetitive. Probably should have just been an expansion.  

Scott Pilgrim Vs The world -  This game is brilliant! I  am really fond of old school brawlers and this has some great music, art and animation. Online co-op would have been nice though  

Army of Two: The 40th day - yes, Im still going for those 6666 kills. I finished it on hard and dabbled in the multiplayer. that games equivalent of Horde mode is  ridiculously tough for only 16 rounds. it's so hard getting an organized team of four people to stick together and work as a team ( something so, so many people are incapable of figuring out) 
Rival Scools - This game is definately a Capcom fighting game, I  <3 all of the character designs but it falls victim to the ravages of time, PS1 games didn't get off so lightly when it comes to their polygony visuals. 
Castlevania Order of Ecclesia -  this game is mad Castlevaniaey. I like the glyph system and it looks and sounds awesome. Some of the bosses are a tad overpowered though.  

Yakuza 3 -  I will happily stomp on your face! but first let me take a photo of ths dude smashing himself in the balls with a baseball and sing some Karaoke!  

Rock Band 2/lego -  mopping up challenges on expert and getting some missed achievements in both games. 
Bioshock 2 - Started the game on hard mode and considered dipping back into MP again. I have dl Minervas den but ive heard that there are achievement bugs and i'm frightened to play it at the minute. 
Alan Wake: The Signal -  This dlc reminds me about how much I liked that game. This extra chapter has all the best things about the main game rolled into two hours and then adds some extra stuff on top.  

Dead rising 2: Case Zero -  Easy S-Rank and a cool almost-demo  (not a complaint) for the main game. Yup, thats still Dead Rising.  

Bleach: Dark Souls -  I know nothing about Bleach, I have seen like two episodes of the anime and dont know anything about the fiction. What I do know is that there is an ace fighting game made by Treasure with a ton of generic looking anime characters that can do awesome special moves. 
Astro Boy: The omega factor -  Whoa, more treasure games.. what an absolutely brilliant game. It has platforming, beat-em-up, schmupping and ASTRO... I <3  Astro Boy 
King of Fighters XII - i found 3 matches online, that game is DEAD. I won 2 of them if theres anyone out there that wants to fight me in this game I would happily do so for fun or achievements . 
Super Street Fighter IV -  I wish I hadn't burnt out of SF as this game really is great. I just cannot love this game like the original which is a real shame.  

Lara Croft and the guardian of light -  What an ace game very long, challenging challenges and some really cool mini-setpiece things.  

Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 -  Oh yeah I beat Shao Khan..what a DICK!. I totally had to beat him in that cheap spammy way with subzero. Ice-uppercut-ice-uppercut what a badly designed final boss. Oh yeah and I have S-Ranked it now!  
and I'm pissed that i missed a x20 xp weekend in gears I could have finally gotten my level 50, possibly 100 eachievement.. god damn it!!!!  

games/dlc  I'm looking forward to a lot for the rest of this year... 
Rock Band 3 
Claptraps new robot revolution 
The Writer 
DJ Hero 2 
Halo Reach 
games I should probably play before the end of the year... 
God of war 3!
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I <3 The 80's...why yes I do

Most awesome achievement of the week...

wasn't even an Achievement...or a trophy but 
 getting 60th place on a not 100% performance on Chicago's Youre the inspiration in lips 
(which WAS shit and is now the greatest game ever until I come to my senses) 



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My badly written top 10 games of 2009!

 (and 10 more that I really enjoyed)  
I'm not going to put a spoiler warning on any of this because it is my blog and it is full of spoilers and I'm only mentioning this because of number 5 which hasn't been properly released yet... 
sorry about my bad sentencing and ramblyness.

 10 Bionic Commando (360)

After flip flopping between this and Modern Warfare 2 I finally settled on the game that satisfied me as a gamer the most, this is not to say that I find MW2 to be a bad game in fact it’s very, very good but the single player left me really cold and I finished it on veteran within three days of release with no Mile high/No fighting in the war room type achievements hanging over my head to mock me… on top of that Multiplayer whilst perfectly designed and a bunch of fun was giving me feelings of déjà vu… I just don’t feel the same way about a game   I felt I had already played for over four days in total playtime.

But this is not about Modern Warfare 2 this is about Bionic Commando a game with an absolutely fantastic swing mechanic, wonderful music, cool bosses and pretty challenging gameplay.

I have never touched the multiplayer…not even once did I go into the menu and still I love this game. It is by no means a perfect game with some incredibly frustrating battles later on and a plot that goes completely off the rails, but that’s not really the point. Bionic Commando feels like the evolution of 2D sidescrolling action adventure games. It isn’t meant to have any substance and is designed to feel a little arcadey. I love the weapons (even the peashooter pistol), I love how they’re limited because it forces you into playing unpredictably and using the arm in combat, and I really like the varied environments. In an age of pure shooters and open world games filled with moral choices that can be boiled down to good, bad, neutral I am thankful that   games like this get made, a game where its all about getting from A to B, beating bad guys and having fun whilst not pretending to be  anything other than a videogame.

Best moment – “you’ll just have to fuck it” line during the worm fight

9 Plants Vs Zombies (PC)


I HATE tower defence games so why do I love PvsZ?

I think I spent about 10 hours over the course of two days fending off an assortment of Zombies with mushrooms and sunflowers, my mind completely focussed on one thing and one thing only…. Wiping out every dolphin riding, traffic cone wearing, glass door holding evil zombie.   
I would make beautifully, symmetrical gardens which the zombies felt needed reworking and I wasn’t going to take it… these zombies had to die! So with a little help from crazy dave and excessive planting of sunflowers I set about destroying wave after wave of plant-hating undead.   
Not content with ruining my front lawn, my back lawn and pool they set about invading my rooftops where I would have to replace lost tiles… what kind of evil doer not only hates plants, but hates roofing also?... they had to be stopped…. Even an evil zombie scientist-king in an undead stompy mech could not stop me protecting my property…. All zombies must die!!!!

Best moment – There’s a zombie on your lawn song.

8 Shadow Complex (360)

There’s not really a lot to say about this game other than it being a love letter to Castlevania and Metroid games from the past. While being a lot shorter than say something like Symphony of the night it makes up for it with some great visuals, some cool little boss sequences and a million different upgrades and an emphasis on rewarding exploration. ( even if the   endless grenade upgrades are a teensy bit useless)

The shooting can be wonky but really you should be running at everyone and using one of the comical/awesome looking   one hit kill takedowns   even if they do make the game a little too easy on the normal setting, but they never get boring and net you way more experience than just shooting randoms in the face.  Part of me wants to say they could have charged a lot more than 1200 points for the game seeing as I got maybe 25 or so play hours out of it   and I enjoyed every minute exploring it’s underground caverns and factories.  Maybe next time we will get an inverted shadow complex after we have finished it.

Best moment – The first showdown with the spider tank.

7 KIllzone 2 (PS3)

Get this part out of the way first… I find the online multiplayer to be pretty good but in no way is it as fun or interesting as the Modern Warfare games.

Good job I absolutely love the single player then. I don’t know if the controls were patched or something   because I have read a million complaints about the controls and I played the game a good while after it came out and absolutely loved them, there is a lot more reliance on actual aiming with there being very, very minimal (if any?) autoaim. Everything about Killzone 2 has a real weight and momentum to it whether you are running, turning or throwing a grenade and to me felt really immersive and made all of the already intense gunfights just that little bit more ummm intense.

The story is utter nonsense and the character models while having beautifully animated movement sport really ugly faces but that’s not the point, the Helghast are so stylish and sinister looking and their relentless charge towards you make them a really great enemy to fight.  The guns all have such volume and sound appropriately like they were made for killing stuff alongside the constant stream of shouting and explosions coming from all angles and sounds absolutely superb.

After a lot of negativity I had read towards KZ2 I had quite low expectations when I popped the disk in but found myself having some of the best fun with an FPS in ages. The game is absolutely beautiful despite it’s same old, same old, grey, war torn city look   and easily a much better single player campaign than Modern warfare 2 in my opinion.

Best moment - The attack on your spaceship by the Helghast.

6 ‘Splosion Man (360)

An answer all the people that claim that a new 2D Sonic The Hedgehog is not a viable gametype.  ‘Splosion man gets the fast paced, almost-on-rails thing mixed with timed platforming sequences down to perfection.

I absolutely adore This game and experienced a very similar feeling to what I had after playing through portal for the first time. Clever Humour, Catchy songs and a ton of personality run through all 50 of ‘splosion man’s   frustratingly fun levels with some absolutely sadistic timed sequences you need to get down to perfection in a similar way you would play a music rhythm game.  It really does have that “oh, one more go” hook where despite dying for the 60 time you    feel you really must get through it  and getting through it is a must because if not you’re going to miss one of the strangest and absolutely brilliant videogame endings ever devised. Even more importantly the game has some absolutely fantastic songs like “donuts, go nuts” a song played on a Ukelele about how everyone loves donuts whilst using a fat scientist as a bullet shield. This song will play around in your head for days and the brilliant “’splode beneath my ‘splosion” ballad with the lyrics “”youre so ‘splosiony, youre the ‘splodiest, ‘splosion man” is a fine end credits song.   I Love ‘splosion man as a character with his brilliant animations for running and constant mad-person chatter about various meats and would really like a sequel although I am also really looking forward to next years Comic jumper from Twisted pixel.

Best moment – The Live action ending sequence/s

5 Bayonetta (PS3)

The PS3 one is all lyk broke n that…

You know what?... fuck you! This game is better than its technical problems a true masterclass in how to create a fast, fluid action game. Not once did I feel like my enjoyment was being ruined due to some lengthy loading times and   murky textures… what I was thinking was “This game rules everyone’s fuckin face” and “fuck yeah! This game is awesome” an absolute love letter to   Videogames with Okami, Resident evil, Mad world and even Halo references. The insane spectacle as you ride into space vertically up the side of a rocketship on a motorbike towards a god before manually blasting it past all the planets in the solar system into the sun is just one of those moments I punched the air…. But the screen tearing… Fuck you! I say... You have not experienced the games love of Space Harrier or the absolutely flawless combat system… but the framerate….   It doesn’t matter, I am jumping between timeshifting platforms and then putting an angel in a guillotene and then torturing a girl in a twisted   overtly sexual way before watching her explode into tiny meaty chunks and then shooting a cherub in the penis and riding up a giant plant-cherub monster   as a fucking PANTHER… all of the people that claim this is another Devil May Cry clone are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay off the mark, It’s perfect scores from magazines with it’s style and imagination are fully justified. No other game this year has strived so hard to go all out insane like this. And It works   because the combat is PERFECT, I just cannot   find any fault in it, the options given to you from the get-go are staggering   and the game can easily be completed just with the default guns (although the sword is much, much more devastating)

Very few games leave me with total satisfaction and the last game to do so was Metal Gear solid 4, Bayonetta is another one. I felt a little drained, a little bit like I wanted to punch the air again and a tiny bit dirty.

Best moment - You totally get to manually Headshot a dude in the face with your lipstick! Seriously… “DON’T FUCK WITH A WITCH!”

4 Resident Evil 5 (360)

I just cannot understand the hatred this game has started picking up just recently, It plays better than 4 (one of the best videogames ever made), It looks absolutely gorgeous and has some   absolutely fantastic setpiece moments a million other games would die for.

While  I understand the game doesn’t even come close to the greatness of Resident Evil 4 It still feels incredibly polished and any criticism about it not playing like Gears of War or any other of the million third person shooters out there seem incredibly petty. I really like the games stop-aim-shoot mechanic It makes fighting the hordes of infected enemies a lot more tense and enjoyable.

I do not mind the series shift to all out action we have Dead Space now if we want atmospheric scares   and I really like the games gun levelling system.   I like the way the game feels like your partner is the most valuble person in the world and while I know there are some A.I issues I have never run into them because I have always played with a   friend. I love that whole “he’s got me helphelphelp” feeling and the vulnerability you feel when the game forces you to split with your partner at various points. I like Sheva as a character and I really like the overblown, insane quicktime events usually involving Wesker. On top of that Mercenaries is the best it has ever been and it’s a shame they added that useless versus mode instead of adding a few more mercs maps…

And there’s an island full of chickens.

Best moment – The Wesker showdown in the cargo area of the plane. 

3 Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time (PS3)

This is THE best Ratchet and Clank game ever made. The balance between shooting and platforming is the best It has ever been.   The pacing and emotional impact of the story is better than any other game in the series, but more importantly it is not at the expense of the games humour.  This Game is easily one of the funniest games I have ever played and kept me consistently amused for the ten or so hours it took me to complete it.

I will be the first to admit I am the hugest Ratchet fanboy (totally even have the new figures on order)

But the amount of collectibles and constant rewards for clearing a planet or going an alternate path are someone with obsessive compulsive disorders nightmare/dream. Levelling guns is no longer a grind, explosions are prettier… there are no underwater sequences… I repeat, THERE ARE NO UNDERWATER SEQUENCES! The game has a perfect difficulty curve (not ratcheting it up a little too high like the first and third games do in their final levels)

It also features some brilliant new guns like the vortex ripper where an alien from another dimension shoots tentacles through a portal and snatches up and eats anything it is close to, tools favourite Mr Zurkon with a whole bunch more trashtalk and even a couple of little songs he sings whilst insulting/killing the local wildlife and finally the new RYNO 5 which plays Tchaichovskys 1812 overture whist dealing out death to anything and everything in it’s path!

Oh yeah and the Clank levels are absolutely brilliant and clever braidesque puzzles. If this is the last R&C game Insomniac ever make they really have left this series on a high.

Best moment – The rewinding time sequence where Clank needs to save Ratchet after being killed. 

2 Uncharted 2: Among thieves (PS3)

I really don’t have a lot to say about this game other than It sports some of the most gorgeous graphics, has one of the best videogame soundtracks ever and an engaging action packed story full of likeable and well thought out characters with a bunch of personality.

It’s very hard to say anything more about it, It fixes a lot of the first games very minor issues like bullet sponge enemies and has a better balance of action and platforming.

It does almost everything right and that is almost the most boring thing in the world to sum up. A game that’s flaws are tiny nitpicks like briefly not knowing the direction you’re supposed to be going in and rocket launcher spamming enemies, but when put next to everything the game does so right they’re not really worth noting at all.

Best moment - I really like the falling building/gunfight/helicopter sequence with you in it

1 Street Fighter IV (360)

I wrote a really long reason why I love this game in a journal using pens with ink and everything. All it really said after a lot of waffling was….

Street Fighter IV is one of the best videogames ever made…ever…. in the world ever!   


(<3 Chun-Li) 

10 Games I really, really liked but didn’t like enough to put them in a top 10 (and reasons why they are not in it.)

Batman Arkham Asylum – I love Batman, I love   Paul Dini, I love Mark Hammill as the joker and I love how the game really makes you   feel like Batman but there was something about   how the game would force you into these horrible fights against larger enemies that all had to be beaten in the same way. Even the last boss in the game felt like it was thrown in at the last minute as The Joker could never beat Batman in a fistfight.

Assassins Creed 2 – I Burnt through this in a dedicated weekend doing almost every side mission and collecting everything that can be found in this really detailed world, Ezio is a great character but once I was done I felt DONE, like I would never want to play this game ever again. (very similar feelings were had with the first game. It has a great ending and I will no doubt play the third game even if I had more issues with the platforming this time around.

inFAMOUS -   I feel the same about infamous as I do about AC2. The game is really fun and I collected/did everything you can in the game world but was left with mixed feelings about the way it played with some cheapo deaths and   a lot of glitching/falling through the world and some terrible facial animations. I loved the   comic book cutscenes and I was one of the few that really enjoyed Coles voice/acting. The combat is also very, very good even it would force you to take care of most situations in   almost identical ways.

Noby noby boy – This is the greatest preschool toy ever devised, absolutely hilarious to watch and a nightmare to control… It is not really a videogame.

The Beatles: Rock Band -   I LOVE this game! I really enjoy all the songs, have a load of fun doing the vocals but it was all over for me very early, the story mode is quickly beaten and the online is hugely flawed.(full of dicks) It is very hard to continue playing just this game when I have built up such a huge collection of songs all in the same place with Rock Band 2.

Modern Warfare 2 - see BC in top 10… Spec ops is great, not different enough from Cod4…. Would much rather play other games or Street Fighter IV online.

Halo 3 ODST -   Not the hugest Halo fan in the world but I found ODST to have a really tight and focussed campaign with a really nice atmosphere and some beautiful music. The lack of matchmaking in Firefight is the most pathetic thing ever in the year 2009 and I would probably have played a ton of it if it had featured it.

Katamari Forever – Probably the best Katamari game on the market if you had never played any of the other games but for someone as obsessive over the franchise as me it felt like there was too little new content and some really weak weird choices for remixes/songs and overly strict time limits on levels which made the game a tiny bit too demanding in places… and seriously, only two new cousins… that is kinda terrible.

Battle Fantasia – Beautiful looking, smooth playing game from the makers of Blazblue/Guilty Gear.It has some amazing story sequences like the power rangersesque Deathbringer sidestory. Unfortunately about five people bought this game so the online is dead and that is the worst thing ever in a fighting game.

It is also hugely imbalanced and when you do meet someone online expect it to be someone using Deathbringer and pressing the high attack button over and over and over again!

50 Cent: Blood on the sand -   This game is much more fun than most will expect. It’s a competently made shooter with a very good points/highscoring system and decent shooting/cover system. The game is over in about five minutes but the constant stream of ridiculousness coming out of Curtis Jacksons mouth in pursuit of his y’know, priceless, diamond encrusted skull and hatred of all thing helicopter has a kind of endearing quality to it…

 I am also fond of the song   on the soundtrack where he barks like a dog.

And jewels fly out of crates towards you like a sonic the hedgehog game….