Let it be known that I'll bury the archive I have in a box to be discovered by future generations.
I don't know if anyone with them has really tried getting them out there publicly. Hm. I could have better quality versions, but I think I at least do have all of them.
I don't want to surprise anyone, but you are overreacting. You're putting hundreds of times more thought into people's chastising of you than they did as a knee-jerk, shallow judgement. And you can't control the things you take to heart, sure, but a tiny handful of easily-offended forum users are not the people whose opinions you can realistically put an ounce of faith into.
Thanks for writing. Having a mental illness without understanding it isn't something I see a lot of attention given to, but I think it can be a really messed up thing to go through. When the world around you can't imagine you as anything other than equal, then depression becomes laziness, anxiety becomes selfishness and reclusiveness, and you rationalize that people are supposed to feel the same way, or that you're just personally a little adrift and need to reconvene with normality - easy.
When I didn't understand anxiety, I perceived the symptoms I had as weaknesses, which made me highly reluctant to accept or admit them. It can be painfully counter-productive, I guess is what I'm saying. It doesn't help when as a male, you've had it built up in your head that admitting a weakness is something you should avoid, and so you might be shutting out the possibility of a dialogue, if not an internal conversation with it. Escapism in the form of games is something I've done a fair amount of, but the idea makes me a little uneasy now. Obviously it can turn into kind of a dark road.
If it makes you feel better about not seeing it, I'll say that I watched a pretty good amount of it and it really wasn't fantastic content. I'm patient and even obsessive at times with absorbing this kind of content, and I couldn't convince myself to do the whole thing.
Not that it was bad, just I don't think the return on investment is so hot on that one.
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