McRibs

My eyes. What just happened?

He's covered wars you know?

I think this game will meet my expectations, being that I have absolutely none.

A panda bear. I know the bears are mentioned above as being out of the picture, but here's my rationale: pandas are lazy and passive. I'm pretty sure I could work in a few body jabs before he got agitated enough to start making swipes. Also, I might be able to snap off some bamboo mid fight and use it as a bo-staff.

Well said!
 
Thanks for the positive remarks gentlemen!