It only took me four months to notice, but that title is kind of misleading, huh. Like I ought to be cracking down on comics in a pre-Shield Michael Chiklis way, back when he still had hair and brought some levity to his police work.

Either way, I'm sure you all know the drill by now, but if not: GB user @omghisam purchased a Gold membership for my broke ass, and I feel obligated to repay his kindness with these silly little comics. Similarly, I owe the Giant Bomb crew for making all these great premium features I now have access to. I've been doing this since October (that would also include November and December) of last year and am somehow not slowing down with these goshdanged ideas for new features. Whether or not that's a good thing I'll leave to the philosophers.

Premium Content For Your Premium Contempt

So one of the bigger threads of late involves Giant Bomb's East Coast Correspondent Alex Navarro asking people for premium content ideas. Since I believe this is the first recorded instance of a staff member reaching out to the community for ideas, and I do sort of have this monthly recurring premium feature suggestion thingy and everything, I feel I ought to throw another brainchild his way. Essentially, Alex argues (with himself) if the movie adaptation of a game (or a game adaptation of a movie, more likely) is better than the source. When you have to objectively rate the Acclaim/Ocean/LJN movie licensed games against TANG-bait like Uwe Boll's Uwe-vre, I guess you just have to hope that when you flip the coin that it somehow explodes and kills you (to paraphrase Bernard Black).

Following that amazing 60 Minutes parody in the GOTY videos, Jeff and Ryan investigate other fictional drugs from video games and their effects, estimating the devastation that would result should they find their way into the hands of an entire generation of impressionable youths. Possibly also taking them themselves and doing silly shit for an hour or so. For some reason, I can't see anyone else but Ryan in a narc role. Yeah, no idea why that is.

So Brad's managed to defeat a bunch of his "Breaking Brad" subjects, and I'm starting to think he should look for a new premium feature. It's just no fun at all to watch Brad succeed at things, after all. Here's just a handful of suggestions that he might hypothetically receive from his various work colleagues and close friends. And Rorie.

Did JC Denton get a haircut?

Your skills with MS paint are improving. Clearly, no mortal could make such an impressive sandworm.

RDR is RockStar's best game!

@MooseyMcMan: No, no, that's "Brad Taste". The real answer is GTA: Vice City or Bully. I would also accept Space Station Silicon Valley as an answer, but something tells me I won't have to.

@ArbitraryWater: Copy/pasted from an earlier sandworm I drew. Skyscraper-sized desert annelids are a frequent comic device of the webcomic profession.

@Video_Game_King: Nope, that's Jeff. But... wait, has anyone actually seen JC Denton and Jeff in the same room together? What... what does the J in JC actually stand for? Oh god, my brAIN

@Mento: I could understand trying to make the argument that Bully has the best story, but the game part of Bully is lacking at best.

I haven't played Vice City of Space Station Silicon Valley.