1). Then I see no point in responding to you any further.
Note: You can't separate a person from their religious beliefs any more than you can separate them from their sexuality.
Religion is a choice, sexuality you are born with.
Just because it's a choice doesn't make it less a part of who you are. There is a reason Catholic priests and nuns decide to abstain from sex, and devote their lives to God. One could make the argument that choices like these are much more of "who we are" than aspects of our lives that are out of our control. If someone is left handed, bi-sexual, and devotes their life to helping those in need, which of those three things do you think is the most defining aspect of their character?
I have chosen to become an interaction designer. I have studied to become one for a long time and now I work as one. It pretty much defines who I am at the moment, yet it was a choice and I can choose not to be one at any time. How much something defines you as a person has nothing to do with the choice aspect of it. You are born left-handed and bi-sexual, you choose to follow a religion. You might be born into a family that follows a religion, but many have chosen to go down another path. Helping others is also a choice (and not an exclusive christian trait).
If you are a christian, do you immediately have to stone all adulterers? No, because you choose to ignore that because it doesn't fit in modern society. If you see someone working on a Sunday, do you take the nearest blunt object and batter them to death? Once again, you choose not to follow that particular little religious quirk.