Skooma

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#51 Posted by Aetheldod (3511 posts) -

The other day I found a cave below Dragonsreach .... the dudes there had some skooma I just had to have it ... I believed it was the Jarls stash , but the shit was cut >:3

fucking nord bandits and their half assed skooma

#52 Edited by Brackynews (4045 posts) -

Friend of mine likes to mix some skooma into his pre-ban nirnroot for the extra buzz. The warning label is pretty clear about not doing it, but you know they put that shit on there to get people hooked. I only tried it a couple of times. Couldn't sleep for 60 hours. I'd stand there and wait and time would pass slower. Never again man. Eyeballs dry right up, mistook an orc for a dark elf and they hate that. Got me 5 armor levels though, once I could stand up again.

Wait, do dragons have pockets?

Nope. That's why they always fly around looking for their keys.

#53 Posted by mosdl (3228 posts) -

@selbie said:

@Soapy86 said:

Skooma leads to intimacy

Side effects may include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, headaches, erectile dysfunction, severe mood swings, mead addiction, cravings for skeever tails, blurred vision, dragons. Please consult your alchemist before consuming.

Just to make it clear, those are the side effects of intimacy. Skooma just makes me want to go butterfly picking.

#54 Posted by mosdl (3228 posts) -

@Th3_James said:

In the rare event of a dragon lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical help to avoid long-term injury.

I had a dragon last at least 2 weeks at the Mage College before the body went away. I may be already dead then...

#55 Edited by Gizmo (5389 posts) -

Damn, Son, you want to to get some of that Moon Sugar. Skooma ain't got shit on Moon Sugar, ho.

Also, just found this on TESNexus;
 
[Moderator Note: Picture deleted due to nudity.]

#56 Posted by Th3_James (2576 posts) -

Woke up in Markarth after a 3 day binge, caught mud crab and skeever tail from Lydia.

By the nine, know where to draw the line.

SKOOMA, NOT EVEN ONCE.

#57 Posted by PeasantAbuse (5138 posts) -

@MattyFTM said:

I'm playing Morrowind at the moment, and I'm having trouble offloading a load of skooma and moon sugar that I found somewhere. I have no idea where I got it from - I was probably stealing a bunch of shit to sell on and just clicked take all without looking at what I was taking. And now no shop keepers will even talk to me unless I drop my skooma and moon sugar on the floor first. It's valuable so I don't want to throw it away, and I don't intend on using it, but it's annoying.

I'm pretty sure there is a Khajiit shop owner near the Mages and Fighters Guild buildings in Balmora that will happily buy your stash.

#58 Posted by Buscemi (1106 posts) -

@Gizmo: Don't porn this shit up, man, that's not what the Skoomsh is about. It's about... other things... that don't involve.. those things.

#59 Posted by jaycee13 (523 posts) -

@Th3_James said:

If you smoke Skooma you a stupid mother fucker! known around Skyrim as the argonian clucka.

Doin' that skooma with all the money ya got, sneak skill 100 searching for a piece of rock.

SKOOMA SKOOMA!

Hey man gimme a hit?

SKOOMA SKOOMA!

Yo man, Fuck that shit!

SKOOMA SKOOMA!

Argonian face!

Yo dragon, Kick in the bass!

You have not recieved nearly enough respect for the exellent use of NWA.

#60 Posted by Daiphyer (1308 posts) -

I am sipping Skooma while chewing on moon sugar like UH UH UH UH WHATCHU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?!

#61 Posted by endaround (2138 posts) -

I only use skooma in legally sanctioned religious ceremonies. It's right there in the treaties man.

#62 Posted by Sauson (560 posts) -

My brother Faelian was an skooma addict. He moved to the Imperial City with his girlfriend.

I haven't heard from him in a while, I wonder if he's okay...

#63 Posted by VoshiNova (1640 posts) -

Cocaine!!!

#64 Posted by Ghostiet (5224 posts) -
@MattyFTM said:

I'm playing Morrowind at the moment, and I'm having trouble offloading a load of skooma and moon sugar that I found somewhere. I have no idea where I got it from - I was probably stealing a bunch of shit to sell on and just clicked take all without looking at what I was taking. And now no shop keepers will even talk to me unless I drop my skooma and moon sugar on the floor first. It's valuable so I don't want to throw it away, and I don't intend on using it, but it's annoying.

Dude, you're the worst kind. You can fix people up with some shit and you don't, because you're so greedy.

#65 Posted by Ninja_Welshman (479 posts) -

Hi everybody. My name is Ninja, and I..... I am a Skooma addict....

#66 Posted by Th3_James (2576 posts) -

The dragons in Skyrim are really a cleaver metaphor representing the rampant Skooma abuse in Skyrim.

Fighting dragons is your character battling their own inner demons, and accepting that they have an addiction.

Just when you think you are clean, you start seeing dragons in the distance. You may think you can avoid them, but they are always in the back of your mind.

Skyrim: Chase the Dragon

#67 Posted by CornishRocker (397 posts) -

@Th3_James said:

The dragons in Skyrim are really a cleaver metaphor representing the rampant Skooma abuse in Skyrim.

Fighting dragons is your character battling their own inner demons, and accepting that they have an addiction.

Just when you think you are clean, you start seeing dragons in the distance. You may think you can avoid them, but they are always in the back of your mind.

Skyrim: Chase the Dragon

Puff the Magic Dragon's all over Skyrim, man. I know a few cats who can point you in the right direction.

#68 Posted by Dark_Lord_Spam (3156 posts) -

Just a taste man, JUST A TASTE. I NEEEED THIS, BABY. I'll slay yo' dragon!

#69 Posted by Aas (603 posts) -

@Sauson said:

My brother Faelian was an skooma addict. He moved to the Imperial City with his girlfriend.

I haven't heard from him in a while, I wonder if he's okay...

I'm sure he's fine. Say, do you have anything I can clean my dagger with?

#70 Posted by fini_fly (767 posts) -
@Mr_Skeleton said:

There are two guys near the entrance to the General Goods store in Whiterun. One is fat,short and doesn't speak, talk to his friend he will set you up with the good stuff.

Snoogans!
#71 Posted by RubberBabyBuggyBumpers (713 posts) -

i don't love the skooma but the skooma loves me.

#72 Edited by cstrang (2381 posts) -

You a cop? You know you gotta tell me if you are or else its entrapment...

Fucking narcs, man...

#73 Posted by Lifestrike (481 posts) -

Drugs are for bugs.

#74 Posted by Linkster7 (1011 posts) -

I haven slept for four fucking days GIVE ME MY FUCKING SKOOMA

this would more funny it was less true

#75 Posted by mosdl (3228 posts) -

@FoxySaurus said:

After ages of trying to find a game site I wanted to join I saw a link to this thread and immediately made an account.

This is beautiful.

Skooma is a gateway drug after all.

#76 Posted by punkxblaze (2957 posts) -

ENTRAPMENT.

#77 Posted by ThePickle (4153 posts) -

Skooma? I don't need Skooma to have a good time!

This message brought to you by W.E.A.S. (Wood Elves Against Skooma).

#78 Posted by Undeadpool (4908 posts) -

Excuse me, gentlefolk, I was wondering if you knew where I could score some of that sweet SKOOMA us drug-users are always going on about...just speak directly into my medallion here...

#79 Posted by Xtrminatr (256 posts) -

Man, if they just legalized skooma we wouldn't be having this mess in Skyrim, the stormcloaks and imperials would be friends, and the dragons would be too high to fly.

#80 Posted by AlexAlterisio (88 posts) -

Shit man, you telling me Skooma ain't legal in Skyrim? Guess I'd better move that stash of 5 bottles I've got stored in Jorrvaskr. I'm going to be PISSED if I get back there and god damn Farkas drank all my dragon juice.

#81 Posted by Gizmo (5389 posts) -

I pick-pocketed this Khajit dude who had a huge stack of Skooma, I then stole the lot and went through it right in front of him.

#82 Posted by BasketSnake (1159 posts) -

I wonder if you can mix skooma with poison...apply it to arrows and shoot people in the ass to watch them trip.

#83 Posted by NegativeCero (2976 posts) -

Gots to get that sweet, sweet refined moon sugar, dawg.

#84 Posted by Intro (1206 posts) -

I found an Orc selling it on the side of a mountain lol. I TOLD him to give it to me and said no and tried to fight me about it. I used a legendary glass war axe and he had his fist.

Needless to say, I got the Skooma.

#85 Posted by buft (3301 posts) -

My house in whiterun, find it in the chest near my alchemy lab,also got some nirnroot growing in my hydroponic room

#86 Posted by Baal_Sagoth (1236 posts) -

Oh man, this has to be the funniest Skyrim thread in existence. Skooma and moon sugar - I love the stuff since I laid eyes upon the magnificent drug labs near Vivec!

#87 Posted by AxleBro (798 posts) -

CRIMINAL SCUM EVERYWHERE!

#88 Posted by OtakuGamer (1224 posts) -

You see, Ralof aka Resnov gave you some Skooma upon crossing the border. So now, you have this side affect of seeing Dragons, pretending your some sort of dragonslayer. He did this so he can avoid being executed, since you was a complete maniac killing everyone in Helgen.

Illusions are a wonderful thing…

#89 Posted by CL60 (16906 posts) -
#90 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

I know this Redguard in Whiterun. She lets you lick Skooma off of her stomach. That bitch is wild, bro.

#91 Posted by Metric_Outlaw (1170 posts) -

I once knew this Argonian who was way into skooma and he went on this fucking gnarly trip and swore his legs were goat cheese wheels. Next thing I know this fucker wakes up after eating off his own fucking legs...

#92 Posted by Jayzilla (2555 posts) -

I got high on that one time in Morrowind and ate a cliff racer while it was alive.

#93 Edited by Dylabaloo (1549 posts) -

You all should be ashamed of yourselves, some people in Skyrim have a real stamina problem and actually need that skooma to get us from Morndas to Sundas! To Sithis with all of you!

#94 Posted by august (3827 posts) -

Get you so high Khajit call my shit rockets.

#95 Posted by Cloudleet (155 posts) -

Running around, stronger but dumber for 20 seconds is not normal. But on Skooma it is.

Skooma. Not even once.

#96 Posted by Owlhead (152 posts) -

Man, I love me some skooma in the morning.

#97 Posted by theguy (796 posts) -

This is why I love Giant bomb

#98 Posted by thellama042 (106 posts) -

This is easily one of the best threads on GB.

SKOOMA!

#99 Posted by Lucifer (263 posts) -

@CL60:

As the 100th poster of this thread i just want to declare...Criminal scum, criminal scum all of you.

#100 Edited by BlinkyTM (1054 posts) -

I snort moon sugar instead. Skooma is for milk drinkers.

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