canuckeh's Wii Sports (Wii) review

A poem

Wii Sports, Wii Sports, you rue my life
How you have plagued these days with smite
Into the abyss I should throw
This damn broken motion controls

When I bring the Wii to parties
Other games I bring just get teased
No More Heroes gets sold short
And Monkey Ball passed for Wii Sports

Wii Sports, Wii Sports, makes parties lame
When we take turns on the bowling game
These fake gutterballs make no sense
When a real alley has a liquor license

With a tennis game that’s shallow
Amusement sinks to a new low
For baseball, the programmers should yield
And let players control the outfield

For pitching controls rarely work
And batting seems to have some quirks
Plus it burns retinas to see
A field not of dreams but Miis

I can’t complain much when I realize
Wii Sports gives fat kids exercise
Moving their arms, make swishing sounds
As they play through all three Golf rounds

But golf isn’t as fun as it could
Why play as a Mii when there’s Tiger Woods
But at least Wii Golf isn’t as bland
As the worst Sports game in the land

Fragile as a butterfly
Inconsistent as a bee
Figuring out the boxing controls
Would dumbfound Muhammad Ali

Sometimes you punch, sometimes you duck
The controls for Boxing flat out suck
Should’ve warned players the Wii’s a sham
Yet 40 million sold across the land

Though I have enough class to say
I’d rather this be bundled than Wii Play
But 2 stars is what you will find
For the most overplayed game of all time

2 stars

1 Comments
Posted by Symphony

Bravo ^^

It's so comforting to hear I'm not the only one who thinks the controls for Wii Sports are bad... Heck, they flat out hate me -- especially bowling.

Rockband is so much better and more fun at parties, especially ones involving a lot of alcohol!

Other reviews for Wii Sports (Wii)

    A good pack-in game that shows what the Wii is capable of. 0

    Pack-in games have been seen as a means for a company to show off their latest console's features, and this time around, Nintendo was eager to show off just what the Wii was capable of, and Wii Sports was the product of that eagerness. Wii Sports, as it states in the name, is a sports game, and it features: tennis, baseball, bowling, golf and boxing. Each sport uses the Wiimote's functions in its own unique way and makes it feel as if you were actually playing that sport: In tennis, you se...

    3 out of 3 found this review helpful.

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