First off, this isn't a "HOLY CRAP I'M SCREWED SHE'LL SLEEP WITH EVERY KENYAN SHE FINDS" type of emo insecure post. I trust her, yadda yadda. Let's get out of that mode right now.
What I want to know is has anyone gone through something like this before? She'll be in Kenya for two years and it'll be a major change. I'm sure the first month she's gone I'll feel very awkward and somewhat out of place because I won't be able to call/text/see her. In the long run it'll probably be really fast since I'll try to keep myself entertained as much as possible, but... y'know, just looking for some help or advise.
What's interesting is when she gets back from the PC I'll be completely different: I'll have every Master's Degree class done except for the capstone, I'll have both my A+ and Network+ certification, AND I'll be two full years into a work out regime (I'm planning on working out as much as possible when she is gone to better my body as well as surprise her).
Thanks!
Girlfriend is heading off to join the Peace Corp. How do I deal?
So why are you asking this question exactly? You seem like you know what you want to do.
" (I'm planning on working out as much as possible when she is gone to better my body as well as surprise her).This man. He knows whats doing on.
So why are you asking this question exactly? You seem like you know what you want to do. "
Also, someone else said she won't stay faithful, I dunno she might but you guys are going to drift a part hella bad man. Maybe break it off before it can get any worse?
Long distance relationships rarely last, you are basically on a Break. Feel free to date other chicks nad if they don't work out after two years your "GF" now is like the safety girl to go back to.
" Two years? Damn. "@No0b0rAmA said:
" 2 Years?? Jesus christ. "But in all seriousness, 2 years is a long time but if you two are both sure of your relationship then I would say just try and speak to her through webcam as often as possible and keep yourself busy with some hobbies.
Long Distance Relationships are a nightmare, and it takes a lot of mettle to get through them, it really does. You're going to hit a lot of points where you'll be tempted to cheat, or you'll be wondering at night why you're still bothering. You'll also hit a point where you wonder "hey, what's the harm?" but if you really do love her, you'll make it through somehow.
That being said, if you do fuck around on the girl, give her the courtesy of telling her and not pretending like it didn't happen. If/when you do, that's going to be one hell of a sign to get out of that relationship.
Touch her shoulder too...that might help.
@PhaggyBigNastyMcKill said:
" Long distance relationships rarely last, you are basically on a Break. Feel free to date other chicks nad if they don't work out after two years your "GF" now is like the safety girl to go back to. "This.
Move on. You know it's not gonna work, so don't make an emo post a month or two down the line...because I'll just type "Told You So".
I'm going to come off as an ass,
Your relationship is OVER.
You are holding on to what could be, Not what is.
Look back on the good times you had fondly, But move on.
Otherwise you will just waste the next 2 years of your life waiting for what you expect to be amazing, And just like what you had before she left,
It will not be the same.
And odds are the relationship will deteriorate quickly upon her return anyway.
So do yourself a favor and move on.
@RVonE: It's not like it'll be a "Alright, later!" type of thing if that happens, but I won't become a shut-in with severe depression if it happens. I love her, but sometimes stuff has to happen due to the situation, y'know? I'm a realist.
" First off, this isn't a "HOLY CRAP I'M SCREWED SHE'LL SLEEP WITH EVERY KENYAN SHE FINDS" type of emo insecure post. I trust her, yadda yadda. Let's get out of that mode right now. What I want to know is has anyone gone through something like this before? She'll be in Kenya for two years and it'll be a major change. I'm sure the first month she's gone I'll feel very awkward and somewhat out of place because I won't be able to call/text/see her. In the long run it'll probably be really fast since I'll try to keep myself entertained as much as possible, but... y'know, just looking for some help or advise. What's interesting is when she gets back from the PC I'll be completely different: I'll have every Master's Degree class done except for the capstone, I'll have both my A+ and Network+ certification, AND I'll be two full years into a work out regime (I'm planning on working out as much as possible when she is gone to better my body as well as surprise her). Thanks! "Don't change yourself just because you think absence makes the heart grow colder. From my experience, this kind of stuff doesn't work, but then... I've seen examples where it does. I was away from the girl of my dreams for a year and couldn't take it... maybe the working out bit isn't a bad idea.
" @KaosAngel: I never was, am, or will be emo about it. That's not how I am as a person.
@RVonE: It's not like it'll be a "Alright, later!" type of thing if that happens, but I won't become a shut-in with severe depression if it happens. I love her, but sometimes stuff has to happen due to the situation, y'know? I'm a realist. "
Okay. But if you're a realist, why are you even thinking about sitting through two years of being alone?
Whatever you do. At least make sure that you are there for her in SOME WAY.
Whether it be a boyfriend or just a friend. Don't just up and leave her hanging.
LOL man you guys are harsh on the man. Kudos to you OP on your maturity, realistic vision, and for being in a relationship for 3 years. Very impressive. My opinion is that it will not work. 2 years is extremely long time to be away from someone you love. Especially if you can't talk to her everyday. Will she have internet? Will she come back on holidays? If you answered yes than you guys should stick together.
I think it can be done (staying together) but again 2 years is a long time and a lot will happen. Another question is, how old are you? You seem old enough to know whats best, also you are getting a masters. So basically, I wish you luck, if you guys truly love each other, you don't have to sweat a thing. It will be a very tough road but you can make it. But if you/she are not fully committed to the relationship, then you should end it now. Best of luck.
Sorry to hear that chocobro, but that's life. I wouldn't wait 2 years for anyone, unless you know you truly love her... but what is love? Baby don't hurt me? No more?
Options:
a) End the relationship .
b) Jerk-off as a daily basis.
those are your options. I hope you love her big time.
She signed up knowing that she would be away from you for 2 years, so she obviously doesn't mind living life without you. Your relationship is pretty much over.
" She'll come back with 50 adopted Kenyan children and expect you to support all of them and get university-level educations for all of them :) "...a few of them might not even be adopted, if you catch my drift.
Seriously, she picked to stay away from you for 2 years...be an adult about this.
Time to "gg" out.
I've had a long distance relationship a long time ago before I was married. Basically, you're doomed. Don't wait for her because she certainly won't.
Make as many phone calls, emails and any other form of communication you get a chance to do as often as you can- within reason of course. Still though, two years is a long time to be a part from one another and when you do meet up you may find that you have both gone different directions in life and may not have the same feelings for each other anymore. That said, no one can tell if you will be able to stay together or not but the two of you because we don't know how strong of a feelings you have for one another.
It will be hard, stressful and there will be a lot of tears, but if you find your way through it and come out on the other side together I think you will have a stronger relationship for it. In the mean time, I recommend buying one of these to keep you occupied until her return.
Having never been in a relationship, I don't have much advice. Not wanting to be a downer like most people, best of luck, but I do have one question on how things are went down. Did she include you in her decision of joining Peace Corps or did she simply make the entire decision herself? If she didn't include you in the decision making, then she probably didn't think or even consider you in her future, the result probably ending in the demise of the relationship.
it's over
Your whole life could be different in 2 years.
You could be dead in 2 years.
You could meet someone you like more in 2 years.
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