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#1 Edited by notdavid (815 posts) -

And it's way harder than I expected. I told one of my sisters just now, and I don't even remember what I said. I just kind of blurted out "I'm gay" in one form or another. I'm telling my parents tonight, and I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I need some support from the GB community if I'm going to do this.

For reals. I'm having a hard time with this. Updating my Facebook to say that I'm interested in men was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I need some duders to cheer me on while I figure out how to get this done.

EDIT: 2/09/14

Phew. Guys. It's been a while. I don't know if I even got back to this thread with what happened after I told my dad. Rest assured, it was pretty uneventful. We ate pizza, he said something like "So, your gay," and we went home. Since then I've been operating on an open closet policy, telling friends if it came up naturally in conversation, but not really making an announcement or anything. I think I'm at the point where more people know than not.

It's been a year and a half since I came out, and I decided that now would be a good time for an update. I have a date tomorrow. He's a guy I met on OkCupid a few days ago, and I decided to ignore my cornucopia of social anxieties and give this whole connecting with other humans thing a shot.

I never would've gotten where I am if you guys didn't give me the courage I needed to come out. Thanks.

#2 Posted by Little_Socrates (5675 posts) -

I'm sure it's terrifying, but based on conversations with my friends, they made it sound as though it was one of the greatest days of their lives. Follow through, and you have my support.

#3 Edited by Dany (7887 posts) -

Trust that today will be the most freeing day in your life. Embrace it.

#4 Posted by CaptainCharisma (339 posts) -

Went to a gay wedding for a friend who's family found out he was gay in a less than ideal way. He's now married and his family is very supportive but there things were a bit shaky at the beginning. Good job summoning up the courage to "come out" and good luck. Even if your family seems weirded out by it at first, they will learn to support you.

#5 Posted by MariachiMacabre (7039 posts) -

My gay friend said coming out to her dad was really tough but ended up saving her life. Do it and you have me respect because I can't imagine how difficult it is.

#6 Posted by AhmadMetallic (18955 posts) -

It's either that or being unhappy, I suppose, so follow through and good luck with it.

#7 Posted by 1337W422102 (1003 posts) -
@notdavid said:

And it's way harder than I expected. I told one of my sisters just now, and I don't even remember what I said. I just kind of blurted out "I'm gay" in one form or another. I'm telling my parents tonight, and I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I need some support from the GB community if I'm going to do this.

For reals. I'm having a hard time with this. Updating my Facebook to say that I'm interested in men was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I need some duders to cheer me on while I figure out how to get this done.

Do it, f--  I'm just busting yer chops.  You got this, duder.  To hell with what other people think.  You're still the same kick-ass person you always were, whether they recognize it or not.  You have nothing to be afraid of, other than your folks' opinions, which you can disregard.
#8 Posted by notdavid (815 posts) -

They're religious, but liberal. I'm not expecting a lot of backlash from them, but it's wicked hard to say this stuff out loud.

#9 Posted by The_Laughing_Man (13629 posts) -

If your not david..then who are you..

#10 Edited by Deranged (1837 posts) -

If you lack belief in yourself, others will treat you no differently.

#11 Posted by NicksCorner (410 posts) -

Good on you duder, I hope your parents take it well. Welcome to your new life!

#12 Posted by Guided_By_Tigers (8060 posts) -

@The_Laughing_Man said:

If your not david..then who are you..

Goliath

#13 Posted by Drebin_893 (2895 posts) -

Anyone worth anything will think it's great that it's out in the open. Good for you.

#14 Posted by UitDeToekomst (699 posts) -

you are looking for support, so i hope this comment doesn't have a poor effect on you, but my opinion is that if anyone has a problem with the way you want to live your life than you should tell them to go fuck themselves. no sane person would give a damn about something that is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, so if people you know do take issue, then they aren't worth your time.

#15 Posted by frankfartmouth (1016 posts) -

Hope it goes well for you. That takes a lot of courage. It's too bad that it's still such a divisive and sometimes terrifying issue, but look at this way: it's people like you doing what you're doing that's opening the door for a future where sexual orientation isn't viewed the way it is today. No pressure.

(Just kidding. You'll be fine)

#16 Posted by Jimi (1126 posts) -

GL HB duder.

#17 Posted by TheJohn (553 posts) -

Shit like that is never gonna be easy, but it is by facing our biggest fears that we gain the most.

Good luck, dude. You're still gonna be notdavid tomorrow.

#18 Edited by FengShuiGod (1478 posts) -

@UitDeToekomst said:

you are looking for support, so i hope this comment doesn't have a poor effect on you, but my opinion is that if anyone has a problem with the way you want to live your life than you should tell them to go fuck themselves. no sane person would give a damn about something that is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, so if people you know do take issue, then they aren't worth your time.

Yup.

As long as your family doesn't disown you/and or send you away to Jesus camp to pray away the gay, you are over the biggest hurdle. Beyond that, the worst case scenario is you find out some people in your life are bigots, and if they are, well, who needs those d-bags anyways? You'll be fine duder. Coming out is so accepted it is oft celebrated. In the unlikely event things don't go super smoothly there are tons of support groups and people who are going through the same thing who are happy to be there for you. You probably have a good idea of how your parents will react, and methinks if you are telling them you know they won't do anything too crazy and will most likely be supportive. Like I said, if your family accepts you the rest is gravy. Don't sweat it.

#19 Posted by Ramone (2954 posts) -

Good luck man. This can only be a good thing.

#20 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1908 posts) -

@Guided_By_Tigers said:

@The_Laughing_Man said:

If your not david..then who are you..

Goliath

Boom

#21 Posted by Gamer_152 (14051 posts) -

I wish you the best of luck. It's ridiculous and terrible that we live in an age where such a basic and harmless component of a person can provoke such a hateful and irrational response from people, but I hope your family accepts you for who you are.

Moderator
#22 Posted by BaconGames (3280 posts) -

Honestly it's enough to have gotten to the point where you've built up the courage to do something like this. I think no one here denies that takes a lot of heart and soul. Good luck and report back as things progress!

#23 Posted by notdavid (815 posts) -

Both of them are seeing a play or something right now. My sister's going to back me up when they get home. Hopefully this goes well. I'll post after the deed is done to tell you how it goes.

#24 Posted by Cloudenvy (5891 posts) -

I wish you the best of luck!

#25 Posted by NoelVeiga (1063 posts) -

@notdavid said:

Both of them are seeing a play or something right now. My sister's going to back me up when they get home. Hopefully this goes well. I'll post after the deed is done to tell you how it goes.

The best version of that conversation is probably:

"I'm gay"

"No shit"

So here's hoping for a "no shit", but if you don't get one now you can still get there eventually. Best of luck.

#26 Posted by notdavid (815 posts) -

@NoelVeiga said:

@notdavid said:

Both of them are seeing a play or something right now. My sister's going to back me up when they get home. Hopefully this goes well. I'll post after the deed is done to tell you how it goes.

The best version of that conversation is probably:

"I'm gay"

"No shit"

So here's hoping for a "no shit", but if you don't get one now you can still get there eventually. Best of luck.

That's been my best case scenario ever since I figured out I was gay. If they knew way before me, that would be way cool.

#27 Posted by JackSukeru (5898 posts) -

I can't imagine what it must feel like, having to tell all the screaming girls who cling at your every limb that "Sorry babes, I just don't swing that way!". Do me a favor will you, and let them down gently :)

#28 Posted by JasonR86 (9587 posts) -

@notdavid:

I can't imagine how hard it would be. But just think about the weight that will be lifted off your shoulders when you're done. I know it's rough now but you'll be happier in the long run.

#29 Posted by Everyones_A_Critic (6285 posts) -

@notdavid said:

They're religious, but liberal. I'm not expecting a lot of backlash from them, but it's wicked hard to say this stuff out loud.

You from Mass?

But yeah, best of luck man. I hope your parents accept you for who you are.

#30 Posted by notdavid (815 posts) -

@Everyones_A_Critic: Nope. I just like that adjective.

#31 Posted by BraveToaster (12590 posts) -

I have no idea how this internet support will do anything to boost your gay confidence. Just tell them and be done with it.

#32 Posted by Dagbiker (6939 posts) -

@notdavid: I cant Imagen how hard that is, the only thing I can relate it to is asking a girl out, only because I had to put my self out there, and even that was really hard. I dont know your parents, but If they are good parents, then while things might change, they will still be your parents. I wish you the best of luck.

GLHB.

#33 Posted by Akeldama (4236 posts) -

@notdavid: Its who you are, man. Fuck societal norms, fuck the bigots, fuck ignorance. Just do you.

#34 Posted by FancySoapsMan (5797 posts) -

good luck bro

#35 Posted by MikeGosot (3227 posts) -

Go for it, good luck! \o/
See? I even used an emotion to help you out.

#36 Posted by NegativeCero (2973 posts) -

I'm rooting for you. Hopefully you'll be able to live a happy life with your family's support. And are congratulations appropriate in situations like this? Whatever...congratulations for having the courage to come out to your family.

#37 Posted by GODWASP (41 posts) -

Just go for it bro, it will be fine.

#38 Posted by SpartanAmbrose (831 posts) -

Good luck, duder!

#39 Posted by McGhee (6094 posts) -

Good luck. My sister didn't really tell anyone. We just started to notice she was dating chicks! lol

#40 Posted by Skullo (646 posts) -

\m/ O \m/

Keep rockin',

#41 Posted by YetiAntics (1489 posts) -

I'll be keeping an eye on this thread to see if the best case scenario happened.

GLHB, Duder.

#42 Posted by jl_zao (2 posts) -

I've been using this site and listening to the bombcast weekly for years, but this is one of the first times I've felt moved to post something. I wish you all the best, and I applaud you for taking this step! Your courage is inspiring.

#43 Posted by Getz (2986 posts) -

I don't have a fucking clue in regards to giving you advice, but I do wish you luck. Lying about who you are is only delaying the inevitable. Hopefully your parents will be understanding.

#44 Posted by Irvandus (2777 posts) -

Good luck man.

#45 Posted by notdavid (815 posts) -

Thanks, guys. I'm playing the waiting game right now. This is mad stressful, but I'm sure that I have nothing to worry about. Glad to know that the community has my back.

#46 Posted by LikeaMetaphor (47 posts) -

Best of luck. Coming out was one of the most difficult things I've done, but it was just one step towards becoming more comfortable with myself. My father told me explicitly that I would be going to hell, but when my mother makes jokes with me about my being gay, it brings the biggest smile to my face to know that I'm accepted for my total person.

Though, beware, your parents may feel compelled to give you the "Safe sex, now with an AIDS scare!" conversation. My mother has done so about seven times.

#47 Posted by Brodehouse (9521 posts) -

I don't know your relationship with your parents, but this isn't going to be the thing that changes it. If you get along as well as any family, this won't change that. If you fight all the time, this won't change that either.

MAYBE your parents are actually super fucking crazy. But if they were, I'm sure you'd have caught on by now and already be prepared for it. Assuming they're not super fucking crazy, they probably just want you to be happy.

Just picture it going good. Picture it like that scene from Heathers where the dad cries because he loves his dead gay son, except you're alive so it's even better.

#48 Posted by GnaTSoL (790 posts) -

Just act really gay.... You won't have to say a damn thing. Thats how most people do it. Serious. :P

#49 Posted by Foxtrot0245 (319 posts) -

I think it's odd how this site repeatedly ostracizes people who talk about how they are depressed, lonely, in need of girl advice, having suicidal thoughts, etc, but without fail always makes coming out of the closet a top issue.

No disrespect and I wish you luck, just something I had on my mind.

#50 Posted by SexualBubblegumX (542 posts) -

It's okay to be gay duder. If it makes you feel better, I'm into stuff that makes furries puke. So no matter how "wrong" society thinks your sexual prefernce is, always remember that they don't know shit.