Far Cry's got some weird gameplay mechanics...

At some point the game gave me a little insight on what the hell I was doing. Weirdly enough, it took the game nine missions to tell me "You're screwing both sides... Now you shall be pwn'd.". And infact, that isn't a spoiler. The game allows you to switch sides off and on with the APR and FCLL from the first minute. Because you're as rogue as the next foreign numnut that wants to dance around between blood-diamond warring idiots.

With the statement that came from a Dutch-American-Israelian-Colombian-Australian-German-African; "Why are you helping the both of them, you idiot. You're allowing them to liberate this country.". At that point, I was thinking "What the hell stands the last L for in FCLL? Liberty... Right? What was I supposed to give them? Lesbians? Liquor? The L-word?". I mean... Should I expect people that feed me diamonds like Kellogg's to go rogue on me?

Oh... Right... The corruption of the country tore it apart in the first place. God, I am stupid for thinking there actually was a faction fighting for the good of Africa.

Now, that the story's a bit... wacky is one thing. The game gets me confused alot of times.

  • Now, in the very introduction of the game... You're told to get the hell out of a hotel that's being blown to hell by the two warring factions. How? Well, you're supposed to die. I didn't realise that: So I shat my pants and I nicely tucked myself away behind a counter for 10 minutes before a dude with a MAC10 came running inside tearing me 30 new assholes. Then... The game actually continues.
  • Then, the game always allows you to use a buddy to make missions 'easier'. While you're still as alone as you always are; He does the 'hard work for you'. Not specifically saying he'll blow the entire camp to hell and get shot down by the stragglers YOU have to kill. It's not really easier, infact - You have to drive to two distant locations, cause for whatever reason the fool never picks a safehouse close to the thing you gotta blow up/kill. Talk to him, take a rusty 'good looking' gun and kill some random guy who 'is involved'. All in all, it's a distraction.
  • At some point, I was told to get my ass out of the town and hole up in a bar. I get ambushed from all sides, my buddies that should've helped got gunned down within seconds and I just sat there in a corner where they couldn't get me. Waiting and the occasional headshot, as I was dumb enough to bring a sniper-rifle to a close-quarters fight. Until roughly five grenades flew in - Blew me to hell and "Mission successfull". I just sat there staring at the screen: "You could've told me that I should go dead like the rest..."
  • A while after that, I was in some doctor's office. City gets under siege, and I'm told to leave the backdoor to escape unnoticed. Yeah, weirdly enough after dying five times that way, because over a dozen enemies would ambush me in that little alley; I tried the front door. Two enemies I saw, and the rest took care of them selves, killing eachother. Again, I felt like the game was cheating on me. "The backdoor would allow me to sneak away, huh? Goddamn idiot..."
  • Also, if buddies are so usefull. Why do they end up mortally wounded at the end of EVERY mission? I mean, it's scripted. Your buddy always gets nailed down in the end of a mission. Always.

Some weird gameplay ideas... Die to proceed, and buddies make it only more difficult.


When GameTrailers gives Fable II a decent score...

... The typical pitchfork weilding crowd usually come hauling ass right after it.

[18+/0-] Posted 10-25-2008 12:54pm GMT
8.6? Is that it? This game deserves a 9 atleast. Lionhead have done a brilliant job on this game.

8.6 my arse. Screw Gametrailers. Almost as bad as Gamespot

... We really do.


Midnight Club LA

Even though I'm still playing Far Cry 2, and still I'm driving suprisingly new Jeep Wranglers for hours and hours and hours and hours... I have the strange urge to buy the most frustrating insanely-hard racing game outthere. The one game that actually rivals up with Ninja Gaiden 2. It's not a game to challenge you, it's a game that intends on making you lose. And if you do succeed, the game will punish you twice as hard later on.

In Ninja Gaiden if you got past a boss and was ready to take on the next one, somehow the camera would hitch up behind a small wall...
In MC:LA, and all of the other Midnight Club's, winning would make the AI twice as difficult.

And I'm not overreacting. It's a so-called "dynamic difficulty system". In other words; If you're winning races, prepare to become shitfaced. If you're on a losing streak, prepare to be still shitfaced.

In all honesty, even while the game is annoyingly difficult, according to many even more difficult than Midnight Club 3... If you do win a seemingly impossible race; A little angel gets it's wings, flies down and slaps some reality in you that you sir are cheering for no reason, knowing you won yourself another loss. Hehehe, seriously - The statisfaction of winning a race in a beatdown, half-upgraded Chevrolet Camaro is amazing.

Though, knowing the Midnight Club series all too well - You might as well buy a new controller right at that point, cause the massive dissapointment of getting on a big-ass losing streak after a long-awaited win hurts like hell.

Oh... And if anyone's up for a bit of screwing around in Saints Row 2 - The 'tag's up there and... The 'tag's up there.

Adios and may God watch over my controller as it'll fly, oh it will fly. Like a Wii controller zapping from some insane 5-year-old's hand, thinking you do Wii-bowling by flinging the thing around like a motherfucker.


Screw. Far Cry's. Realism.

Before I bring tears to the eyes of fanboys. Far Cry 2 isn't bad. Hell, it's one of the better games I've played in a long time. I'd say it's like Saints Row 2. A long awaited break from the same old frustrating crap we always had. SR2 > GTAIV, FC2 > any other FPS. BUT!

Yes, the dreaded 'but' that allows me to make up a sobby reason of why it isn't that great.

Allow me to bring up the list of faults. Now, please note that the game is simply fuckin' huge. So, there's in a way just as many faults as the next game... But... Ya' get what I mean.

  • For whatever reason, driving around only causes me to get chased by God knows who. I mean, I'm supposed to drive 2 miles, passing camps and outposts that I 'cleared' before. Every damn intersection has atleast five enemies, and two will always jump in a truck and hunt me down. Sure, I survive it again and again. But I've fixed more cars already than I shot people. Really.
  • No matter how realistic it is... I didn't expect that I had to drive ALL the time. I was hoping that I could 'teleport' from safehouse to safehouse. But it turns out that I can only quick-travel if I either drive to the nearest city for a bus, which is in the heart of the map. Or either one of the four bus-stops on the edges of the map. Now, do I have to remind you that the map is 50 sq. KM large? And the one section I'm in is 25 sq. KM already. So, basically I have to drive for up to five miles before I'm at a bus-station.
  • I haven't really shot anything... Well, three missions got me shooting five or six guys. And most of the time I had to fend off those camping pricks. But I seriously haven't killed more than I've driven around. The most chaos I've seen thus far was after the intro-ride. And that was all scripted.
  • Also, I killed a buddy. Wanna know how? Well, I got pinned down by a sniper, and took cover behind my car. I forgot that if your health is down to one bar, you'll instantly die after 10 seconds whether you're getting shot or not. So, the game send a buddy out to drag my ass out of the fire and heal me. I thought "Oh joy! A partner!". And jumped back into my car, backing up slowly thinking she'd jump in. Instead, she ran into the side of my car. Killing her. I then thought "Ofcourse..." and put the pedal to the metal.
  • Malaria... It's a nasty disease. Sure. But, and this isn't a spoiler... I was out in some ambush with my buddy Joseph(the Albanian). He got shot down, and was critically wounded. So, as I'm about to kneel over and heal him. The screen turns yellow, and the Press-LB-to-snatch-a-pill thing pops up. Now, lovely enough, the action constantly gets interupted as you're getting shot. So, after a while I managed to take the pill and get down to Joe. Who was on the verge of dying, I healed him. BUT GUESS WHAT!? I died as I revived Joseph. Now, normally the game sends out another buddy that would heal you. But, remember? I killed her.....
  • Cars are slow as hell. Really. I expected more from a Jeep with a damn V6 under the hood.
  • While the gun jamming is nice and detailed... I can't say having your MAC10 lock up on you in the middle of a fierce firefight of 4 v.s 1 is really that much fun, let alone the challenge of trying to survive while slamming the shit out of your X button is such a big thrill.
  • The storyline's quite shallow. Sure, no big deal. But I think I have the definite reason of why it's 30 hours long. 1 hour; Shooting, killing and being a badass. 29 hours; Driving from location to location.
  • Camps. Earlier I said that driving around only seems to piss off random campers. But... Who are they? Why the fuck are they shooting me? WHO ARE THEY!? It's like the game tries so hard to get you ingaged in a firefight, but with all the driving, do I really have to be scared to take a damn turn at a crossroad!?

Yeah... I've got some big issues with the game. No matter how much I like it, they took realism too far.


Some late Saints Row 2 impressions.

Alright, Saints Row 2.

I expected the game to feel just like the original Saints Row, unlike people with hope, that always seem to think they're going to get a whole new game from a direct sequel. Like the people that desperatly want Gears 2. Aaaannnyyywaaayyy... So, two days after the release(and after paying 200$ to get my crackbox of a PC fixed, goddamn rip-off), with the expectations of getting SR2 ala Rainbow Six Vegas 2, I was quite suprised at how different Stilwater actually has become.

Comparing the maps, there's only two places that really stayed the same. The Docks & Warehouses District is unchanged, and The Barrio was untouched. But all the other areas were changed. Not just changed, even the layout, the buildings, everything. It felt like a new city, although the feeling of playing through Saints Row's original map was still there.

Even in the TV series, little twinky-tweeny-Tweener was a first class wanksta.
But putting that aside, I figured I wouldn't make a hideous transsexual monster and I tried to make Chris Hansen. That turned out into a disaster. So I went with a slightly modified default caucasian that basically looks exactly like Tweener from Prison Break with a Latino accent. Actually, all I changed was his age and his hair to make him look like this douchebag.

First thing about the game I really loved was the fact that there's a shitload of interiors. Easily a quarter of the games' structures can be wandered around in. And there's no lack in detail inside either. Neither are there any load-screens. Well, there are if you "warp" to a place using somekind of elevator or a taxi cab.

I gotta say though, the first time I jacked a car after the whole prison escape-deal...

The soundtrack might be shallow, around the six-seven songs per station... But fuck GTA's "We're going B-side" bullshit. I prefer mainstream, I guess. There's no better first impression than to spin Karma Chameleon while using a LMG to fend off police choppers and boats.

The Mix is by far my favorite station, and I'd guess it is for many others too. Simple Minds' "Don't You(Forget About Me)", Europe's "The Final Countdown", Night Ranger's "Sister Christian", a-Ha's "Take on Me" and more.

I'm kinda dissapointed that there's no talk radio. I gotta say I loved Dave & Mike's "Replace Dirty Harry with handpuppets" stuff. "Violent video games cause Little Johnny to blow away some cop with a shotgun... I say, replace all buffoon characters... With puppets."

But there's more they easily could've improved on. For instance, there's STILL only 3 gangs. The old gangs were simply replaced by new ones that basically are the same as the old ones. Brotherhood are car-nuts(SR's Rollers). Sons of Samedi are drug-crazy(SR's Carnales) and the Ronin are power-greedy.(SR's Vice Kings). There's only one new "faction", which is Ultor. And I was kinda suprised at the shift in difficulty that came once they came into play.

Heck, I'm playing on Hardcore difficulty. And I well survived all the boss-fights without dying more than once, maybe twice. As soon as I had to fight the Ultor soldiers; Shit hit the fan. From shooting dudes, I had to drive all across town with five stars, dodging roadblock after roadblock, and still being on a timer.

Speaking of bosses. The game has some... better boss-fights. In other words, you physically got to kill the guy now. Not his car, not torching his house, not blowing him up. You gotta shoot him. All ASIDE from the Ronin bosses. Which are by far, the most fucked up ever.

I'll try to describe the Ronin boss-fights.

You, and the boss. Each have a katana. The boss can floor you if you get too close, and the ONLY way you can kill him is if you successfully counter one of his swings. But that's the thing, countering in this game virtually isn't there. It's a matter of luck, rather than timing.

Also, the game has some nasty freezing issues. If you complete a mission, and sit out the final cutscene. The game simply freezes. It doesnt do that all the time, but it happened way too much. My game froze 13 times total, 12 during end-mission cutscenes, once during Insurance Fraud. All I gotta say to that is; Thank fucking God for the auto-save.

But, those are basically all the issues I got with the game. There's a whole lot more to do, a whole lot more to explore, and alot more customization to fuck around with. But the best of the batch is, by a mile, Co-op.

I played for a hour with BlastProcessing, who's character was modelled after Billy "GET ON THE BALL!" Mays. Hence why I wanted Chris Hansen. :3. Seriously, the coop offers anything single player would. It has integrated player-vs-player, if you want to kill eachother all across Stilwater. You can do ALL missions, and ALL activities together.

All in all, I'm enjoying the hell out of the game. And if someone wants to play some coop, you know my gamertag.

And the final word: Peter Molyneux is full of shit. Fable II without the side-bull; 8 hours? I told you so...

Endwar Demo Impressions.

Repeat the following words on screen "UPGRADE AIRBASE ALPHA".
"Upgrade Airbase Alpha".

Perfectly understood, we're on it.

Repeat the following words on screen "BRAVO ONE ATTACK ENEMY ONE"
"Bravo One Attack Enemy One"

Perfectly understood, enemy under fire.

Repeat the following words on screen "WMD ZULU"
"W. M. D. Zulu"

That was incorrect, please repeat the words on screen.
"W. M. D. Zulu"

That was incorrect, please repeat the words on screen while holding the right trigger. Release the right trigger to activate the command.
"W. M. D. Zulu"

That was incorrect, please repeat the words on screen while holding the right trigger. Release the right trigger to activate the command.
"Fuck you."

That was incorrect, please repeat the words on screen while holding the right trigger. Release the right trigger to activate the command.
"Kiss my ass."

That was incorrect, please repeat the words on screen while holding the right trigger. Release the right trigger to activate the command.
"*turns off the X360*"

I love the demo thus far... But it made me realise that I need to get a new microphone. I need to press the thing into my mouth in order to actually talk loud enough to hit the "PERFECT" level. Usually it's "Too low".

Gooo Xbox Live!

Another day, another oppertunity to complain and make the worst out of everything. :D

Now, in the past few days I've been playing Call of Duty 4 off-and-on. Some Mercs 2 here, some Unreal Tournament III there... But mainly CoD4 as I'm waiting for the lazy son-of-a-bitch PC repairman to come back from his little trip to Ohio. No-one's willing to offer free repairs, and for some reason the "Downgrading from Vista to XP Pro for free" services have vanished.

So, while I'm waiting I'm getting back into Call of Duty 4. And again, I use the shotgun. Cause... Well... It's the only gun I'm decent with. That's the way things are. Put me in a battlefield with an silenced M16 and I might stand a chance camping the hell out of the enemies while making "HOLY FUCK!", "Son of a!" and "SSHHEEEIIITTT!" remarks at every enemy that comes around my little corner.

Give me a AK74u, and I'll charge.

And die.

Give me anything else but the M1014 Shotgun, W1200 Shotgun, M16A4 and the AK74u - And expect me to put a new definition to the words "Epic fail". The kind of epic fail that would cause the sniper that blew my brains out to go "*facepalm* Oh... Lord...". The sort of fail that would make the guy that shot me down with the M4 yank out a grenade and blow himself into kingdom come while weeping.

I guess that should be convincing enough...

Anyway, I'm doing okay. I guess I consider every match I end with a positive kill/death ratio a good match. Mostly, I get four kills for every death. Sometimes I get one kill for every four deaths. In the end; Decent.

But what's playing Call of Duty 4, without noticing the typical "I HATE UUUU!!! <angry face>" from those players that can't stand it that I took 'em out with that "oh so useless" shotgun before they could nail me down. I got my very very first hate PM because of CoD4 today. Just like the rest of the Xbox Live community, I got tons on Halo 3, notifying me once more that my mother's a whore, I'm a mentally challenged 'kid' and I sucked because I beat him.

The Call of Duty 4 one was sort of different... This time, unlike the "ur moms a ho bitch" I usually get... I got a voice-message with the kind words "Fuck you".

I got to give the guy credit.

It was a big step to go from ruining Halo 3, to Call of Duty 4. I could imagine that the whole mother-bashing stuff kinda sticked behind. And was replaced by dull workspace insults. "You forgot to put the A4's in the copy machine, you idiot!" - "*sip of Cup'A'Soup* Fuck you."

Oh, and my rep went down 6% in total in less than three days. And I didn't even do that good to be considered "Aggressive". Hell, my total kills and deaths just broke two milestones of mediocrity - Kills: 15750, Deaths: 13750.

What good can a day be without people that actually are better than you, insult you and "avoid" you? Without these clear signs of the decline in our youth... It would be like playing PacMan with people sharing ages with antique pottery.

(Little brats ftw.)

By the way, when the fuck is that Mercs 2 DLC thing coming? I got told it was "Monday the 13th".

Then why wasnt it fixed when it was still in development?

And that is a bloody good question that comes to my mind everytime I play a game that's either critically panned or thrives on a puff-cloud called 'hype'. The most recent example should be Mercenaries 2...

While I am enjoying the hell out of the game. Shit-for-fuck AI is forgivable... Why? The AI take themselves out faster than I can kill them. Which is, considering the sheer ammount of douche bag AI's with sniper-sight SMG/AR's; Usable. The only way I now stand a chance of survival, far after the end game, is by dropping TWO entire nukes on a outpost. For the Chinese and their damned "SO STOLEN FROM RUSSIA!" Fuel-Air RPG's make short work of me as TEN(Five per bunker) make way for me.

But, back to the topic...

  • Fiona in Mercs 2, and her "If you need help" bullshit. Especially after pointing out that Lake Marida is NEXT TO ME for five-hundred times...  Telling me that Calico(spelling, yes...) is up west, while the huge-ass green sign reading "Calico" with big white letters, is just ... there... You're thinking "WTF?" if you didn't play the game. Fiona has a short-term memory thing going on. Forgetting that I, a gamer with half the brain-capacity of a coconut, stand a decent chance at navigating A CIRCLE AROUND THE ISLAND.

Why wasn't that noticed from the test-phase? What kind of ignorant fuck does it take to NEGLECT such a flaw? Why wasn't it fixed at the damn making of the game? Didn't anyone test-run her incompetent mouth?

  • Another prime example's sir "Head of the Agency" in Crackdown. Pointing out to me that he can see his house from my viewpoint. Which was on a lone rock in the ocean, watching over the sea. Telling me that I'm out-of-my-fucking-mind because I nudged that "I have the right to switch lanes fifteen times in seven seconds" driver a bit too hard, after brutally killing half a squad of Agency members, and not getting a damn word out of his wretched mouth.
To re-do the same question; There are two kinds of helpfullness. One is that little push in the right direction in the beginning with a tutorial. The second is the ocasional "If you're fucking around..." kind of memory support. Both cases fall under "Well, since you're doing important stuff... I figured 'I'd harass you', so ehh, you lost?" kind of 'I DONT WANT TO HEAR YOOUUUU' help.

  • But to put the annoying 'help' aside, there's another example of ignorant developers lying around; Castle Crashers. The online is unplayable. Unbearable. Hillarious. I can't help laughing at the poor guys n' gals that lost their data because they played online. It's not that I laugh at their misery, I laugh at the game for even doing such a thing. Still.

I'll be honest. I still stand by my judgement that Castle Crashers shouldn't be bought for online-only. Sure, it's motto that's thrown on every damn place you can come across, doesn't really help me in my judgement, but I guess it's something with an Arcade, that it just doesn't belong in the list of "Online only.". More like... Both. Like Halo 3. (What the hell?)

Though, the online's fucked. Beyond "Well... 'Tis a shame. We'll get working on it. Don't 'xpect no return-fees though, you bloody wolves." bullshit. And ofcourse, as soon as the world got the whole "World, meet Shit-online. Shit-online, meet your butcher." session... "But their company is so small!". How in the fuck is that a worthwhile excuse to make up for the shit-for-fuck online?

It takes two tiny bits of efford to test your online. One's servers, two's testers. I guess the servers were supplied by Electronic Arts, and the testers were the crack addicts picked up from local alley-ways. By all means, how can't you notice this from the start on? Perhaps they knew all along(If they didn't, go Gomer Pyle on 'em)...

Sure, two constructive flaws and one lovely-little flaw the size of Mars... All that I'm trying to say is; Dontcha agree that developers are taking this "Patches? Good! We'll fix it after we got our pay..." thing a bit into... Whaddaya call it... The exploiting zone?