Excuses 101

All this talk about my "dad" and how he's not good for much, made me realize that I'm almost following in his image, as I do pretty much nothing. I don't even have anymore excuses. I usually come up with a good one right about now, for covering my inability or motivation to achieve just about anything, but today I realized a couple things. I've run the well dry, baby.
 
There's so many things that I DON'T like about my life, and the logical response to all this would be to change it. Why is it then my human nature which causes me to idle and let everything pass me by? I mean I'm really struggling to find an answer to this. If we look at a comparison of what I like about me and what I don't like about me, what do we get?

PROS

  • I'm good at Street Fighter
  • I make Music and Videos!
  • I have an awkward sense of humor

CONS

  • I live with my mother
  • I am unemployed
  • I hate my skin complexion
  • Stopped working out, gaining weight
  • My sleeping schedule is fucked
  • No fucking motivation
  • I make excuses for everything
  • I'm sort of an asshole to people
  • I have a really short temper
  • Need dentist work, procrastinating
  • I'm socially awkward

You know, I'd put "I don't care about anyone but myself" under one of those, but the truth is I'm not even motivated enough to care about myself. I'm 23 years old, suddenly being good at Street Fighter doesn't amount to much. I have to take some damn responsibility and do something with myself. The funny thing is I already have my mind telling me that it's not worth it since I'll just fail again, like last year. Maybe I'll stop drinking soda, but oh wait there's a 2 liter of Pepsi in the fridge, guess it'll have to wait. I have seriously blamed people in this household for me drinking pop because they "enable" me by buying it in the first place. It doesn't even have to be mine.
 
Yeah. I figure I'd do something productive with my time which is why I'll be starting a workout journal (deja vu) over at my website. I won't bore you guys with reps and results as this is a video game website. It's just, yeah if you don't see me around so often. I'm at least TRYING to do something productive. If I can get back to where I'm actually comfortable with myself, then we can take the next step into actual RL. I'm going to do some interval training.
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Posted by lordofultima

All this talk about my "dad" and how he's not good for much, made me realize that I'm almost following in his image, as I do pretty much nothing. I don't even have anymore excuses. I usually come up with a good one right about now, for covering my inability or motivation to achieve just about anything, but today I realized a couple things. I've run the well dry, baby.
 
There's so many things that I DON'T like about my life, and the logical response to all this would be to change it. Why is it then my human nature which causes me to idle and let everything pass me by? I mean I'm really struggling to find an answer to this. If we look at a comparison of what I like about me and what I don't like about me, what do we get?

PROS

  • I'm good at Street Fighter
  • I make Music and Videos!
  • I have an awkward sense of humor

CONS

  • I live with my mother
  • I am unemployed
  • I hate my skin complexion
  • Stopped working out, gaining weight
  • My sleeping schedule is fucked
  • No fucking motivation
  • I make excuses for everything
  • I'm sort of an asshole to people
  • I have a really short temper
  • Need dentist work, procrastinating
  • I'm socially awkward

You know, I'd put "I don't care about anyone but myself" under one of those, but the truth is I'm not even motivated enough to care about myself. I'm 23 years old, suddenly being good at Street Fighter doesn't amount to much. I have to take some damn responsibility and do something with myself. The funny thing is I already have my mind telling me that it's not worth it since I'll just fail again, like last year. Maybe I'll stop drinking soda, but oh wait there's a 2 liter of Pepsi in the fridge, guess it'll have to wait. I have seriously blamed people in this household for me drinking pop because they "enable" me by buying it in the first place. It doesn't even have to be mine.
 
Yeah. I figure I'd do something productive with my time which is why I'll be starting a workout journal (deja vu) over at my website. I won't bore you guys with reps and results as this is a video game website. It's just, yeah if you don't see me around so often. I'm at least TRYING to do something productive. If I can get back to where I'm actually comfortable with myself, then we can take the next step into actual RL. I'm going to do some interval training.
Posted by MetalGearSunny

Good for you, dude!

Posted by Brundage

Try working out at a local gym, you need to exercise and it will also help your social skills. Get involved with something else outside of video games, music, video, ext. And you have to be passionate about something, use that as motivation to get a job or something. Just some tips you could consider to improve your life.

Posted by Keyser_Soze

Try to be best,‘Cause you’re only a man, And a man’s gotta learn to take it, Try to believe, Though the going gets rough, That you gotta hang tough to make it, History repeats itself, Try and you’ll succeed, Never doubt that you’re the one, And you can have your dreams!, You’re the best! Around!, Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down

Posted by lordofultima
@Keyser_Soze: Man...words to live by!
Posted by lordofultima
@Brundage: Gym memberships are unfortunately highway robbery in terms of cost. I'll stick to a dark, dew-filled morning for my running, and my COLD HARD BASEMENT FLOOR for the push-up action!
Posted by The_A_Drain

Kinda in the same boat as me with a few differences, i'm already overweight lol, and i'm at university. I'm also not a mod.


I say just try to find something that motivates you and follow that direction, make music and videos? Awesome, grab yourself some cheap tape and shoot a movie, find out you have some directing talent? Great, get to work entering competitions and such. Or whatever else perhaps inspires you. Good at Street Fighter? Take it to a tournament level go win yourself some money. Doing things like this will help you discover what you want, or at least bring you closer.

Sort out your sleeping patterns and at least 2 of those other cons go away (hopefully, being sort of an asshole and having a short temper. Also up the iron in your diet, if you dont get enough stress is a huge problem)

As for living with your mother, I moved out last year and trust me, living with your mother is a fuckton better than living with a bunch of assholes you thought were your friends, and a complete asshole fucktard landlord who barely even speaks english knocking on the door everyday for some insane reason, and paying fucking good money for the pleasure. If you get a job and pay your mother rent, at least you dont have to say "I live with my mother" as effectively, you rent your own place you just get the benefit of having some washing done for you every now and then.

Just keep on trying to find something that motivates you man, it can take years for some people form what i've heard. I've got my 2-1 coming up on saturday and I am NOT looking forward to it, i'm talking quarter-life crisis time, overweight, no girlfriend, hardly any friends after the moving-in-with-them fiasco, uni prospects not looking great because of all the shit the past year overtaking my studies etc etc etc. Getting really down about it, but eventually I gotta look up and just keep going otherwise i'll end up like my dad, a complete fucking waster who's never earned an honest living in his life and now lives on his own, is blind, has no friends, not even his own family wants to contact him because he's a complete asshole. I don't want to be that, even if I don't turn out Mr Universe.
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Edited by lordofultima
@The_A_Drain: Right on, although I'd say I'm definitely overweight in the clinical sense, as my BMI is about 10 over, I should weigh 140-160 lbs., not 200. Also, I have a gigantic gut from drinking and eating tons of crap, so it's more my physical appearance that I'm worried about. I understand that's probably not what you mean by overweight, but yeah. Self-confidence seems to stem to absolutely all of my failures, so I figure looking good and feeling better is probably the best place to start.

As for the sleeping patterns, I was more saying that I wake up at midnight, and go to bed at like 4pm. I get plenty of sleep it's just completely back-asswards.
Posted by BiffMcBlumpkin

Don't be so hard on yourself, judging by your list you've got all the advantages of a young Steve Buscemi.

Posted by asian_pride
@lordofultima said:
"@The_A_Drain: Right on, although I'd say I'm definitely overweight in the clinical sense, as my BMI is about 10 over, I should weigh 140-160 lbs., not 200. Also, I have a gigantic gut from drinking and eating tons of crap, so it's more my physical appearance that I'm worried about. I understand that's probably not what you mean by overweight, but yeah. Self-confidence seems to stem to absolutely all of my failures, so I figure looking good and feeling better is probably the best place to start.As for the sleeping patterns, I was more saying that I wake up at midnight, and go to bed at like 4pm. I get plenty of sleep it's just completely back-asswards."

My doctor said I was clinically obese, when I should be at 170 lbs instead of being at 220. That's complete bullshit to me. Maybe I need to start sleeping regulary too, but I never do that anyway XD
Posted by The_A_Drain

I wouldn't normally share this online, no particular reason I guess same as yourselves, embarrasment/self confidence issues etc. I mean i'm not a complete whale some of it is muscle, the rest of it is what 3 years of education involving sitting at a computer 7 hours a day will get you when you dont have the motivation to exercise, i'm something like 260 - 270 lbs, and i'm hardly tall, so that's pretty overweight I reckon. I gotta shift some of it, hopefully when i'm back at uni i'll start losing some more as i'll be walking farther. Motivation is a helluva killer though if you can't find any.

Online
Posted by TeflonBilly
Posted by lordofultima
@TeflonBilly: Eat lightning, shit thunder! I'M ON IT, STAT.
Posted by TeflonBilly
@lordofultima said:
" @TeflonBilly: Eat lightning, shit thunder! I'M ON IT, STAT. "
Good. Now go out and RAPE THIS DAY!
Posted by super_machine

Start reading a bunch of Samurai books, I mean the oldschool samurai texts. The Bushido shoshinshu (code) is a good one. I know those guys were a little fucked up, but they were very focused and motivated in their teachings. I used that as my motivation in college when I could still run a 21 minute 5k. Sadly a desk job put an end to that.

Posted by Bigandtasty

Ahaha I feel the same way man, except I'm 18 and hoping to start college after one year of being a lazy butt. I even have been procrastinating on dental work, it's kinda scary how similar this is.

Posted by Claude

Try being an unemployed 44 year old caregiver. Yikes, and I hangout on a website devoted to video games. I need a life or that's what my wife tells me. I just take it one day at a time and have some fun along the way.

  

Posted by lordofultima
@Bigandtasty: Yeah I took a "year off"after completing high school. The difference there is that year turned into 5.
Posted by mracoon

I have some opposite problems to you, I'm just too skinny. I need to put on some weight or muscle but whenever I eat I can't seem to gain any weight (it sounds great but it's not really).

Moderator
Posted by lemon360

working out will help your selfesteem and maybe will make you better socially. Then you'll get tired and sleep better and have more energy to go out and work.

Posted by lordofultima
@mracoon: Well I obviously don't want to slim down to a twig, and honestly that's probably impossible since I'm doing bodyweight training at the same time to gain muscle. But still, I have to admit that the public eye is much more accepting of overly skinny people than overweight people.

Hell honestly all I want is to have a nice shape, I don't even need to get decked out or anything, a flat stomach and a slimmer waist I would probably kill for.
Posted by Ineedaname
@lordofultima said:
CONS
  • I am unemployed ( I've never ever had a job, I've tried, but if you've no experience there's no place for me)
  • I hate my skin complexion (I used to)
  • My sleeping schedule is fucked -Mine's incredible, I slept at 6pm today, woke up at 9pm, won't go back to bed till 4am now.
  • No fucking motivation (Failed my first year of Uni for this reason)
  • I make excuses for everything (See above)
  • I have a really short temper (Yeah so do I, there are a few people that just grate me the wrong way and I just wanna hit, even if they've done nothing wrong)
  • Need dentist work, procrastinating (My front 2 teeth are so of it's wrong, I once bit my gf, looked at the bite marks it was weird)
  • I'm socially awkward (Big groups result in my silence, I always have to know who's going out before I evaluate if I'm going)
You're not alone on alot of these.
Posted by Jayge_

I feel like I'm in a tavern or something.


Probably because everybody in this thread could use a beer or 4 (well, not those of you looking to move some weight measures).
Edited by Keyser_Soze
@lordofultima: You seem like a decent guy so I'll give you some of my pro-tips (which are usually very expensive) for weight training and dieting.

 If you're looking to lose weight over the space of a few months get hold of some Chromium Picolinate, get it from the supplement store, they're just basic supplements which regulate blood sugar. Along with exercise they will help burn fat off more quickly and pack on some muscle. Seriously underrated as a training supplement. Google them. Try taking a 2-3 tablets of around 400 micrograms each a day. Just be careful if you're diabetic because of the blood sugar regulation. They also suppress the appetite a little so you don't feel as hungry. On their own they won't do shit, you gotta train. This stuff is really cheap as well, you can probably get 100 tablets for around $10.

If you're looking to pack on some quick muscle, look online and find some cheap Whey Protein with amino acids, just a 30g of protein scoop a day along with a large glass of milk will give you the protein you need (I personally on exercise days take 100g of protein from 2 power protein shakes I make, and they bulk you up fast), again got to exercise to see the benefits. If you find the protein shake tastes nasty, which it might if it's not unflavoured, get yourself some chocolate shake powder and mix some of that in.

If you need any more tips on supplements or training, PM me. Also if you suffer any kind of allergic reaction or collapse in a heap and die, I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE.
Posted by lordofultima
@Jayge: You know I love beer, nothing wrong with a drink to cool the spirit. But probably not for a while anyhow. Hahah.
Posted by lordofultima
@Keyser_Soze: I have whey protein, I took about 50g or so after a workout involving upper or lower body back when I was on the fitness kick...which was strangely exactly a year ago. I'd do cardio every day, but actual muscle-building 3-4 times a week, to save my flimsy arms and legs.
 
I gave up about a month and a half later, so I still have tons of it as a result. Sort of a bummer I have to start from ground zero all over again, past mistakes are literally flying through my head as we speak.

Thanks for the tips duder, the only way to do it is to do it to the max, so I'll definitely take your advice.
Posted by Fallen189

It's like I'm really on livejournal!

Posted by lordofultima
@Fallen189: Cute. 'sa Blog, know what I mean?
Posted by Fallen189
@lordofultima said:
 I won't bore you guys with reps and results as this is a video game website
:(
Posted by CL60

:O I'm pretty much the exact same as you.

Posted by HandsomeDead

For those of you a little overweight, a bit of bulemia is worth a shot.

Posted by RetroIce4

Don't feel bad. I don't have any motivation for anything. I am still happy because I have almost everything I could want for now.

Posted by teh_destroyer

Looking at your two threads, I feel for you. But I feel a Fallout 3 vibe at the moment :|.

Posted by Alexander

I think sharing what you're doing with us here and at your site can only be a good thing. Motivation is the main thing. I need to start exercising because while my weight isn't an issue I just want to feel healthier.

Also, getting a job and moving out, even temporarily would be great.

Posted by TooWalrus

Yeah, I'm pretty much in the same boat. I'm 19, and still crashing in the basement, but my moms getting re-married soon, which is really fucking awkward. On the bright side, I think I may finally have settled on a career path in business, and  community college starts again this September...

On a related note, I "quit" drinking caffeine a few weeks ago, because it wouldn't do anything for me anymore,  only to relapse last night. I was so fucking tired, but I lie there and couldn't sleep. Great.

Posted by Stang

At least you have come to terms with your problems man. I have a shit load of friends my age or older that will not even acknowledge they have some issues they need to resolve. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, you will be fine.

And yeah, get your ass in shape. That will make you feel a 1000x better about yourself. Good luck, I will be here eating twinkies rooting for you!

Posted by Wolverine
@lordofultima: I feel the same way sometimes except I'm 16. Did you go to college? Also, I'm going to follow your workout journal on your website :)
Posted by Jayge_
@Wolverine said:
" @lordofultima: I feel the same way sometimes except I'm 16. Did you go to college? Also, I'm going to follow your workout journal on your website :) "
Ah shit you're beating me, I thought I was the youngest.

I vote Wolverine as the most accomplished one here.
Posted by StarFoxA

Ha, I feel lack of motivation all the time. But then again, high school tends to do that to you.

Posted by raidingkvatch

Kinda similar, 18 just finished school. Trying to use the long summer to get everything sorted. Excercise, diet and sleep help with a lot stuff I've just started losing weight and sleeping more regularly (if not entirely normally as I'm pretty nocturnal) and it really helps with mood, motivation etc. Healthy body = healthy mind and all that shit

Posted by DeVeAn
lordofultima "I'm sort of an asshole to people"

yeah...You can do it eh? Just focus on one thing at a time man. You can do it if you really want too.


Posted by EightBitWarrior

Mood blog. Nothing to see here.


Trust me, I've gone through this many times. It's best to just do things when you do them, rather than psyching yourself up because you feel you have to. If that's why you do them, you'll never be happy.
Posted by Themanohall
@Wolverine said:
" @lordofultima: I feel the same way sometimes except I'm 16. Did you go to college? Also, I'm going to follow your workout journal on your website :) "
this.
Posted by PhaggyBigNastyMcKill
@lordofultima said:

CONS

  • No fucking motivation
  • I make excuses for everything

Kinda sounds like you're working out as an excuse to the one bullet point that actually matters IMO. motivation.

Perhaps you should get some perspective by volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, or just take what little pros you have to take them to the next level. Gootecks at 25 felt something similar except he had a job and a girlfriend at the time. He followed his passion and dumped everything he felt was holding him back (quit his job and dumped his GF), and went full pro at SF4. I'm not saying follow in his footsteps, but you aren't alone.
Posted by lordofultima

@PhaggyBigNastyMcKill said:
" @lordofultima said:

CONS

  • No fucking motivation
  • I make excuses for everything

Kinda sounds like you're working out as an excuse to the one bullet point that actually matters IMO. motivation. Perhaps you should get some perspective by volunteering in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, or just take what little pros you have to take them to the next level. Gootecks at 25 felt something similar except he had a job and a girlfriend at the time. He followed his passion and dumped everything he felt was holding him back (quit his job and dumped his GF), and went full pro at SF4. I'm not saying follow in his footsteps, but you aren't alone. "
Actually I'm working out because I want to look appealing and be able to take my shirt off without being embarrassed. Believe me it sucks to have been sucking in my gut for the last six years or so, pretending I'm a smaller frame than I am.

I know about the gootecks story and he is a huge motivation to me, but I'm applying that to life and not Street Fighter. I never wanted to get paid to play the game, I always play it because I enjoyed the competition. I'm more in the Longisland Joe camp than the pro at SF one.
Edited by lordofultima
@EightBitWarrior said:

" Mood blog. Nothing to see here.
Trust me, I've gone through this many times. It's best to just do things when you do them, rather than psyching yourself up because you feel you have to. If that's why you do them, you'll never be happy.
"

Sometimes it's about more than just being happy. Working out for instance, I AM doing it because it'll make me more self-confident and, well happy. Getting a job you don't like doesn't make you happy, but it is a responsibility as an adult. I feel like I'm 12 years old living with my mother and not paying any bills, not buying any of my food.

All the people that talk mess about doing nothing with my life, see the thing is: They're RIGHT. I don't do anything with my life. My mom is a nurse and she's told me on many occasions that she never liked her job. She did it for a stable income and the ability to live well and support her children. She did it for other people's security, and her own. While I don't really have any family to support, I certainly can do things to better myself.
Posted by auspiciousqueue

You are having an epiphany about life right now. I'm 22 and am just realizing all of this and trying to learn from everything and everybody how the world really works. We share some things in common and I have to say that I'm starting to realize everything. I think we all have this moment. 

Posted by Red12b
@auspiciousqueue:
Hear Hear.

All the 20 yr old's rejoice we shall become the Greek Gods and goddesses and rule the world, Hahahaha*Cough**Wheeze*ahahaa

1 sit up 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10,

Yep, I feel good, Time for a Benson&Hedgers, *stares longingly at packet* No I Have WILLPOWER... I will succeed


Posted by Darro

I was in a similar position back in 07 and 08 but not as bad I feel as yours.  I felt my life was going nowhere as I couldn't bag a job after getting a degree in university, I was overweight and wanted to lose it but I just couldn't be bothered exercising and sometimes I cried because of that.  Its what some people like to call depression and also I suffered it during university as well due to the people I lived with being the opposite of me but luckily that changed towards the end.  Right now, I have a job, which while not necessarily the ideal job, its a lot better than the hellhole I was in last year and due to this whole recession thing happening, I am lucky to have one.  I have lost quite a bit of weight thanks to said job and overall, I feel happier that what I was over a year ago and beyond. 

You are not the only one out there now who feels this way Michael since there is a lot of people your age who feel like they are doing nothing with their lives and they want to do something about it.  Some manage to do so and others don't.  If you put the dedication and willpower to it, you can achieve your goals also and honestly, I hope you do as from what I know of you, you are a pretty down to earth guy who has some humour to him, which is one aspect I like about people.

Also, about your previous post concerning your father.  Its sad to hear about this situtation, as I never knew this side of your story.  I wouldn't necessarily know what to do if I was in your situation.  It will be like the angel and the devil side of things you see in cartoons where one tells you to go visit him for several reasons while the other tells you to forget him and don't bother saying he never did anything for you your whole life.  I know you ain't going and you may regret it down the line but if you feel you made the right decision, then that's all that can be said about it.



Posted by PeasForFees
@lordofultima: If you cut your hair shorter and shave you would be suprised the positive affects of that
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