La la la la, La la la la, La la la la la la, La la la la!!!!!!!!!

La la la la, La la la la, La la la la la la, La la la la!!!!!!!!!

I'm celebrating today, because my football (soccer to you weird Americans) team, Sunderland, have avoided relegation from the English Premier League and both of our local rivals, Newcastle and Middlesbrough have been relegated. It's extremely hilarious.  It's fantastic. Words can't describe how happy I am.

I've been in the pub since 3 o'clock (now it's after 10 o'clock). First watching the football on the telly, and then celebrating the fantastic outcome. We've been celebrating like mad. Singing footballing songs, laughing at the crying Geordies on the TV, singing along to songs on the jukebox. It was just a fantastic. We played a few rounds of dominoes, while still celebrating, and just generally had a fantastic time. Many beers (and a couple of whiskeys) have been drank, and it's just a fantastic day.

I'm watching the matches on Match of the Day now, and I've still got a huge smile on my face. This is amazingly funny.

EDIT: I completely forgot to mention our shirt burning extravaganza. We burned a Newcastle shirt in celebration of this event. It was Brilliant.


MattyFTM's Top 30 Games of All Time Part 0: Insanity Here I Come

Having seen a tonne of people on GB blogging their top 30 games of all time left me with the strange compulsion to write my own, despite knowing that I'd never be able to settle on 30 games, and I'd never be able to settle on an order. So, after weeks of slaving over this list, trying to remember all the games I've loved, and trying to decide where on the list they go, I think I have the final list.

ITS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sitting here on the verge of insanity. All I can think about is games. I close my eyes and all I see is game boxes flying past my closed eyelids. I'm watching the football on the TV as I'm writing this, and I'm fighting the urge to grab my 360 controller in an attempt to control the action as if I was playing FIFA. And I swear there are lemmings living in my bedroom cupboard. Not to mention that yesterday I was in the town and I could have sworn that everyone were goombas.

So, assuming the men in white coats dont get to me before hand, or I become even more indecisive and decide to change the list arround AGAIN, you can expect the first part tomorrow, so look forward to it. YOU HAD BETTER LOOK FORWARD TO IT!!!!! JUST THINK OF HOW MUCH BLOOD AND SWEAT I HAVE PUT INTO THIS LIST!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL LOOK FORWARD TO IT, AND YOU WILL WORSHIP ME, FOR I AM YOUR GOD!!!!!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on a completely unrelated matter, I recently broke both the 10,000 Points Mark, and the 3,000 forum posts mark, so Yay for me. That's another reason for you to WORSHIP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WORSHIP ME YOU FEEBLE EARTHLING SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EDIT: I've been slightly sidetracked with this. I've gotten more indecisive and I've been rearranging my list again. I have the first part up tomorrow. I think.

EDIT 2: Got sidetracked again. Dunno when I'm going to post it.


Used games are not a problem.

I think the reason that people are so willing to shell out $60 for a game, is because they know they can sell it on later to get some money back. If they couldn't do this, I doubt people would buy as many games at full price. While yes, publishers are losing some revenue from people not buying games new, they are gaining revenue from people buying games new, knowing they can get some of the money back later. It balances out in the end.

Used games are also a great way for kids, who don't have enough money to spend $60 on a game, to get into gaming. And when they grow up, they will spend $60 on a game, so in that sense, it can be very beneficial for the industry. If new people didn't start gaming, the industry would gradually die out. I used to buy a tonne of used games, and if I couldn't get games for that sort of price, I wouldn't have gotten into games on anywhere near the scale I have, and I wouldn't be buying games for full price now.


Point & Click Adventures

I find that the majority of funny games are less actiony, because you can't really be cracking up with laughter when you need to be focusing on playing a game. And thus, often the funniest games are point & click adventures. And while this is a genre that I'm not too experienced in, I have played the monkey island series, which is absolutely hilarious.

I've just recently started playing exploring the genre in more detail, and started playing the Sam & Max games, and I'm finding them hilarious so far. This line made me absolutely crack up with laughter, and I couldn't stop laughing for 5 minutes:



My Game of the Giant Bomb Year 0001

Back when Giant Bomb’s game of the year plans were unclear, there was a lot of suggestions and speculations about what the Giant Bomb crew should do for their Game of the Year awards. I proclaimed that real years were so last year, and that the GB crew should work in Giant Bomb years, and do their GOTY awards in March, on the one year anniversary of the launch of the Giant Bomb blog site.

Well, this idea was obviously too cool for the staffers to use, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use it, and it happens to be 1 year since GB launched in blog form, so I welcome you to my Game of the Giant Bomb Year Awards for the year 0001 GB. I’ll be listing my best games of the past 12 months. For those of you that are stuck in the past, and are still using real years, that is from March 6 2008, to March 6 2009.

So, sit back, put on your reading glasses and get ready for the best (and only) Game of the Year blog your going to read this March:

10. FIFA 09 – I’ve always been a huge football fan, and that has transferred to football games. The latest game in the FIFA series has delivered pretty much everything you expect from a football game. It has really improved upon everything in 08. My favourite new thing is the 10 Vs. 10 online multiplayer, which is immensely fun.

9. Super Smash Bros. Brawl – I’ve always loved playing Super Smash Bros. games with a bunch of mates. The crazy unpredictable nature of it makes it perfect for playing with friends of mixed gaming abilities, and stops it from getting too one sided. It’s great for a laugh. SSBB is no different, and it expands upon everything that was in Melee.

8. Rock Band 2 – After shelling out a fortune for a set of instruments for Rock Band & Rock Band 2, I’m very glad that this game was good. I’m pretty bad at rhythm games. I have terrible hand eye coordination, but it’s a hell of a lot of fun, even if I’m terrible at it. I'll also put in a honorable mention for the AC/DC track pack, I'm a huge AC/DC fan, and I love being able to play their songs in rock band 2.

7. Braid – Braid is an odd choice for me to include in this list. That is because I absolutely hate it!! I can hardly play it for ten minutes without throwing my controller away in frustration when I can’t figure a puzzle out. But somehow, despite how much it makes me want to kill myself, I find myself always coming back for more. It is an extremely well made, and a brilliant game, and I love it... And hate it at the same time, if that makes any sense whatsoever.

6. Portal: Still Alive – Portal was a genius game. It a fantastic first person puzzle game, with amazing level designs, a fantastically funny storyline, and possibly the best video game song ever. Add some extra levels to that, and make it downloadable on Xbox live, and you’ve got yourself Portal: Still Alive, which definitely deserves a place on my GOTY list.

5. Left 4 Dead – Left 4 dead is a genius game. It is a seamless, amazing co-op experience, that makes you feel like you’re actually in amongst the zombie hoard,  It feels like nothing I’ve ever played before. Despite a lack of content, I never seem to get bored of it.

4. Castle Crashers – I loved castle crashers colourful visuals, and fast paced hack and slash gameplay. I had a tonne of fun playing it. Definitely my favourite downloadable game of the year.

3. Grand Theft Auto IV – Unlike most, I wasn’t excited for GTA IV before its release. After GTA: San Andreas’s insanity, I wasn’t excited for, what seemed like a very mediocre feature set of GTA IV. But when I picked it up, I realized what an amazing game it was. It didn’t need all the insane features of SA, it replaced these with an epic story, that kept me engrossed in the game.

2. Fable II – I’m not usually a fan of Western RPG’s. I find they usually take themselves far too seriously and I can never get into them. Fable II isn’t like this. I got completely absorbed into a really immersive world. Everything in the world seemed so real, and once I was in game, I didn’t want to put down the controller. The only thing that keeps this off the number one spot is the lousy ending. There was no epic boss fight, no brilliant story-based ending. It was all very meh.

1. Banjo Kazooie: Nut’s & Bolts – The latest Banjo game completely took me completely by surprise. It’s a completely unique game, and is completely awesome. The vehicle building works brilliantly, the gameplay is amazingly fun. There’s a huge variety of missions that kept me coming back for more. It’s immensely fun to play. The humour in it is incredibly funny. Oh, and did I mention how fun it is?

So, that’s it. My top ten games of the Year 0001 GB.


iPhone Impressions

The iPhone. The shiny, beautiful device has always mocked me, laughing at how I couldn't afford one. Until last week I acquired some money (it isn't as dodgy as it sounds... honest) and decided to go out and make a purchase that would change my life forever!!! OK, I might be exaggerating a little, but either way - I've got an iPhone WOOOHOOOO!!!!

So, what do you think think of your new iPhone, I disillusionally imagine you shouting at your screen? Well, that's what this blog is about (you'd have never guessed that from the title, would you), so get comfortable, put on your reading glasses and prepare for a roller coaster ride of iPhoney goodness.

After spending a small fortune on the phone, I rushed home to get using it. It reminded me of when I was a kid, and I'd rush home to play a new playstation game. Anyway, I got home and opened the box, and there it was, looking just as beautiful as I expected. When I picked it up, it was lighter than I expected, I was expecting something on the heavier side, like my ipod classic, but without a hard drive there is no need for it to weigh so much.

I then read through the instructions, in attempt to find out where I was supposed to put the SIM card. Despite having a well concealed SIM card slot, they don't provide anything to explain where you put it. After googling it, I found how, only to find I'd lost the little poking device that you use to pull out the SIM holder. After spending 10 minutes searching for a paperclip to use as a replacement, I managed to get the SIM in, and begin actually using the phone.

So, all that was left to try was the features. All of the standard phone features work fine. The phone is good, texting works fine, the calendar does all the standard things you expect from a phone calendar, as does the clock. The camera is competent. It's nothing special like the 8 Mega Pixel camera's you get on some phones. It's 2 Mega Pixels, which is all I need really, and takes pictures fine. There are no additional features though, all it does is take a basic photo, no zoom, no effects, no video recording. Now, onto the main reason I got the phone - The web browser.

The web browser works brilliantly. It browses the web really fast for a phone. It's perfect for checking things when on the go. The only issue I have with it is that I can't post on giant bomb with it. Everything loads perfectly, I can sign in, look at everything, but I cant type in any of the text boxes. With using the web browser comes using the keyboard. The keyboard is a bit weird to get used to. Early on I was pressing the wrong keys all the time, but after using it for a little less than a week, I'm already used to it, only occasionally hitting the wrong key, and I'm sure I'll get even better.

Some of the additional features are cool too. The Google maps works fine, and will find your location, which I'm sure is very useful if you get lost. The youtube video's play fine. The Music player is exactly what you expect from an apple ibranded device, it works brilliantly. One of the things I really like about the iPhone is the ease of taking screenshots. But these out of the box features are only the beginning. The App store is full of really cool features that you can download straight to your iPhone, so I'll provide my brief impressions of a few of them. I plan on writing full reviews for some of the games in the future, so keep an eye out for them.


Tweetie is a fantastic twitter app that does everything you want from a twitter app, and more. Obviously you can send and receive tweets, but you can also view web link, post photo's, log into multiple accounts, follow, unfollow, block and unblock users. It also has a cool location feature, where you can see tweets from people who are near you.


Are you ever in a pub, or club, or anywhere, and a song comes on and you want to know what it is? Then Shazam is the app for you. Shazam will listen to 10 seconds of a song, spend 5 seconds figuring out what it is and then tell you. It'll also provide links to youtube video's of the song, and the song in the itunes store, and will save all the information for reference in the future. I've already found this really useful, and I've only had it a couple of days. And the best part of all, it's free!!!

Real Football 2009

Real football is a fantastic little football (soccer) game. It has fantastic 3D graphics, really great controls, and even features online play. Any fans of football games will love this. It's brilliant. Definitely the best game I've played on the iphone so far.


A fantastic little puzzle game, similar to the PSP's Loco Roco. Definitely one of the best games on iphone. You have to control your rolando's by tilting your iphone to get them to the end, but with obsticles in the way you'll have to puzzle-solve your way to victory

Hero of sparta

I haven't played too much of this, but I definitely plan on playing it more. It's a really cool 3D brawler that has really good graphics, and really good controls.


Another game I haven't played too much of, but it's basically Sim City 2000, but on the iphone. The controls seem fine so far, but the size of the screen seems like it might be a bit of a hindrance when I get really into it.

Not this year

The majority of DLC isn't enough to bring me back to a game I've already stopped playing, so I rarely buy it. The Burnout paradise DLC is a good example of why I don't buy DLC. I downloaded the Burnout DLC, played it for 10 minutes, proclaimed "That was cool", and haven't played it since.

I did plan on buying the CoD 4 map pack when it was half price for a weekend, but I didn't have any MS points at the time, MS don't take my type of debit card and I couldn't be bothered to go to the shop to buy some.

Although next year I can see me buying some DLC. The GTA IV DLC looks like it'll be worth my money, and should be able to bring me back to the game.


Robot Communist!!!


Robot Communist!
Programmed to destroy...
No one is safe from the 
Robot Communist!
Soviet Russian born...
They'll be here in the fall - they're the 
Robot Communist!
Diamond tipped moneybags
They'll take your money 'til you're dry- they're the Robot Communist

Where did they come from?
The mystery of the freaky Robot Communist

Magically powered cybernetic suction;
It's what makes the little stalinists so dangerous - 
But the real evil is contained deep within their nano cortex.
Where did they come from?
We'll never know...

Sucking the village dry (of money) -
Not even capitalism will stop the 
Robot  Communist!
Who programmed their robot brain?
What evil lurks behind the devilish 
Robot Communist!
How can you kill a man without a heart?
The guns they do nothing to the 
Robot Communist!

Something about the BEARS!
Could ze BEARS be behind the deadly 
Robot Communist!?

Robot vampires doesn't actually need money
But you'll need money when you're turned
Redjacket venom mixes with oxygen in your blood 
and turn you into a communistzombiegodcyberslave!

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHaHaHaHaHa
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHaHaHaHaHa
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHaHaHaHaHa
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha HaHaHaHaHaHa

Robot Communist... 
Robot Communist...

A man told me that if we build bunkers out of bread, we confuse the robot brains and make them go haywire. You and I are the only ones left - If we don't get to the bakery by dusk we're done for!