VibratingDonkey
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Nov. 8, 2009
  • I try not to play my worst game of the year, but year after year I fail. This year I have two candidates, that I can remember. The Godfather II I absolutely hated the first one but thought I'd give this a chance anyway, because that's what I'm like. It is a vast improvement over its predecessor, meaning it's garbage. Basically it has evolved into Saints Row 2, but without the ...
    9 hours ago
Nov. 6, 2009
Nov. 5, 2009
Nov. 3, 2009
Nov. 2, 2009
  • @Branthog: I only read about half of that enormous post, but I agree. Brutal Legend is a bit of a misfire in that regard. I remember seeing this video on I think 1UP where Tim was explaining how singleplayer was basically a training ground for this RTS-y multiplayer and...that's not really what I expected or wanted out of this game at all. I was legitimately surprised to hear that. The ...
    5 days, 23 hours ago
  • A commercial commercial. How quaint. Wait, no, the word I'm looking for is stupid. How stupid. How very stupid. I feel stupid for having watched this stupid thing.
    5 days, 23 hours ago
Nov. 1, 2009
Oct. 31, 2009
Oct. 28, 2009
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Oct. 23, 2009
  • VibratingDonkey commented on the achievement Auctioneer
    Buy my stupid crappy cars already! >:(  There we go. Sold all of them. It's ridiculously easy to sell cars, at least this early in the game's life as everyone's trying to unlock the Sniper achievement. Just set it to two hours.
    2 weeks, 1 day ago
  • 2009: The year when shit really started getting fucked up. So you're telling me that if I pre-order your game you'll let me play all of it? Wow, how kind and generous of you.  This kind of behavior is gross and will only lead to even grosser behavior.  Kudos to Brad for bringing up the question, and the frog.
    2 weeks, 1 day ago
  • You can make enemies do the invisible hula hoop dance. Fantastic.  The odd animations makes it kind of charming in a way though. I don't know, in a weird way I'm enticed by games like this. I remember thinking of buying that shoddy Minority Report game. Never did though. Just like I think I'll never actually buy this game.
    2 weeks, 1 day ago
  • VibratingDonkey unlocked 24 achievements in Forza Motorsport 3
    2 weeks, 2 days ago
Oct. 21, 2009
Oct. 20, 2009
Added by VibratingDonkey on Nov. 8, 2009

I try not to play my worst game of the year, but year after year I fail. This year I have two candidates, that I can remember.
 
The Godfather II
I absolutely hated the first one but thought I'd give this a chance anyway, because that's what I'm like. It is a vast improvement over its predecessor, meaning it's garbage. Basically it has evolved into Saints Row 2, but without the fun, as the fierce, soulless blandness that has come to define the series has survived fully intact. So it's douchey, crass and dull.
 
Guitar Hero 5
The setlist is TERRIBLE, rendering the whole game worthless. My fault for assuming it would be alright and not terrible like in every other Guitar Hero I've played. But alas. Also it turned out I don't really care for the genre any longer. Having wasted €90 on it doesn't make me hate it any less either.


Added by VibratingDonkey on June 7, 2009

Return of J Allard postponed yet another year. :(


Added by VibratingDonkey on March 9, 2009

Critics didn't appreciate this game as they simply didn't realize what it was. It was wrongfully marketed as a WW2 FPS when it in fact is one of the few comedy games. For proof, see what happens when you replace the r's in the title with l's. Hour of Victory - Houl of Victloly - Howl of Victloly.

Or you can watch this.
  



Added by VibratingDonkey on Feb. 5, 2009

I'm getting a bunch of games. Like three.

People say Street Fighter IV is the shit, but this will be the first fighting game I've bought since like...DOA3, and that sure was a mistake.

Killzone 2 demo is ok. Nothing super-interesting going on here it seems, but the AI makes things fun. Have hopes for the multiplayer.

F.E.A.R.2. The one I'm looking forward to the most. Because combat in this game is FREAKING MAD BANANAS YO! You're like this sweet ass ninja of total radness and you run and mess people's shit up like a mofo in slomo without even thinking twice about it god damn. If there ever was a Max Payne substitute, this would be it. I just wish it would channel some more kung fu and John Woo.


Added by VibratingDonkey on Dec. 27, 2008

I remember the developers used to talk up the fact that in Turning Point you were playing as a relatable, regular guy just like you and me, getting caught up in this situation which forced him into joining the resistance to fight in this alternate history WW2, where Winston Churchill was killed before the war broke out ???? and then Germany invades America with giant assault blimps which the US radar system somehow failed to pick up.

Then it just goes downhill from there with this average Joe being ordered by the military to blow up tanks and infiltrate enemy fortifications. "You, random guy, blow up those tanks!" they would say before just standing there, immobile, staring into the abyss. After a while you just sort of go with the flow like this mute, oblivious, dullard of a shell you're playing as. Even then you just keep on tripping over the hitches and cutting yourself on the uneven edges.
"Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now open your throat and lets have a look at that stomach heart."
"Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now open your throat and lets have a look at that stomach heart."

They try to evoke this atmosphere of an invasion actually taking place with other civilians running and standing around. But...yeah... Good thing they gave something a try at least, because the rest of the game is just a very poor effort.

Level design is bland, incoherent and dull. Cookie cutter AI that occasionally spazzes out. Mediocre graphics. Incredibly bad and poorly told story. etc etc. It's just this boring trudge through generic levels, shooting stupid enemies. And also it's bad.


VibratingDonkey's Reviews
Jack in a box. (X360)
Hadn't bought one of these since Guitar Hero 3. Felt like it was time to give the genre a try again. What I was actually interested in purchasing was Rock Band 2, but there's no RB2 guitar bundle here in Europe because something. Was looking at World Tour for €60, ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on Sept. 17, 2009
Noby noby noby boy! ()
I walked with the front legs and then the back legs and then got long and colored and I ate a basketball, then I flew in the sky and a man stood on a dog, footballs rained from the sky, I went through the donut clouds, I tied a knot ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on Feb. 19, 2009
Pretty well ()
In a review about flower it's easy to go off on some pretentious tangent about how elegantly it evokes a sensation of happiness and relaxation in your soul with its soothing, mesmerizing presentation and the simple elegance of its unique design. It's easy because it's actually not that far from ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on Feb. 14, 2009
This game is wonderful. (X360)
This game is wonderful. The beautiful visuals are always so, and mesmerizing those times when it essentially feels like you're watching concept art in motion. Ubisoft presents a fantastical world where the striking visuals convey an atmosphere that is positively sparkling with ethereal magic. The Prince may not be a ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on Dec. 30, 2008
More like Sbore. lol! (PC)
(rating thing appears to be a bit broken. actually not supposed to be 5 stars there, but 2.5.)Revealed to much fanfare and mindblowingness at E3 2005, Will Wright's next miracle promised to contain an entire universe populated with weird creatures created by the players themselves. It all sounded so majestic ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on Nov. 1, 2008

0 out of 1 found this review helpful.
The game's Alone in the Dark...just leave it there. (X360)
I wanted to believe. Eden Studios had created the most excellent Test Drive Unlimited, which is based upon the most brilliant concept ever. Wasn't flawlessly executed, but the concept was so ingenious it didn't really matter. Alone in the Dark had similarly ambitious ideas and I was hoping for a ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on July 25, 2008
Nostalgia-fueled review results in crazy score. (NES)
I remember when I was but a wee lad, back when I couldn't afford a single piece of cartridge for Nintendo's electronical videogame machinery due to my moneylessness. So I used to leech off of those who could. One beautiful day when the birds were chirping and the sun had ...
Reviewed by VibratingDonkey on July 21, 2008


Date Joined: July 21, 2008
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Points: 1,183 Points
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MAGGOTS
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