VibratingDonkey
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Added by VibratingDonkey on Nov. 8, 2009

I try not to play my worst game of the year, but year after year I fail. This year I have two candidates, that I can remember.
 
The Godfather II
I absolutely hated the first one but thought I'd give this a chance anyway, because that's what I'm like. It is a vast improvement over its predecessor, meaning it's garbage. Basically it has evolved into Saints Row 2, but without the fun, as the fierce, soulless blandness that has come to define the series has survived fully intact. So it's douchey, crass and dull.
 
Guitar Hero 5
The setlist is TERRIBLE, rendering the whole game worthless. My fault for assuming it would be alright and not terrible like in every other Guitar Hero I've played. But alas. Also it turned out I don't really care for the genre any longer. Having wasted €90 on it doesn't make me hate it any less either.


Added by VibratingDonkey on June 7, 2009

Return of J Allard postponed yet another year. :(


Added by VibratingDonkey on March 9, 2009

Critics didn't appreciate this game as they simply didn't realize what it was. It was wrongfully marketed as a WW2 FPS when it in fact is one of the few comedy games. For proof, see what happens when you replace the r's in the title with l's. Hour of Victory - Houl of Victloly - Howl of Victloly.

Or you can watch this.
  



Added by VibratingDonkey on Feb. 5, 2009

I'm getting a bunch of games. Like three.

People say Street Fighter IV is the shit, but this will be the first fighting game I've bought since like...DOA3, and that sure was a mistake.

Killzone 2 demo is ok. Nothing super-interesting going on here it seems, but the AI makes things fun. Have hopes for the multiplayer.

F.E.A.R.2. The one I'm looking forward to the most. Because combat in this game is FREAKING MAD BANANAS YO! You're like this sweet ass ninja of total radness and you run and mess people's shit up like a mofo in slomo without even thinking twice about it god damn. If there ever was a Max Payne substitute, this would be it. I just wish it would channel some more kung fu and John Woo.


Added by VibratingDonkey on Dec. 27, 2008

I remember the developers used to talk up the fact that in Turning Point you were playing as a relatable, regular guy just like you and me, getting caught up in this situation which forced him into joining the resistance to fight in this alternate history WW2, where Winston Churchill was killed before the war broke out ???? and then Germany invades America with giant assault blimps which the US radar system somehow failed to pick up.

Then it just goes downhill from there with this average Joe being ordered by the military to blow up tanks and infiltrate enemy fortifications. "You, random guy, blow up those tanks!" they would say before just standing there, immobile, staring into the abyss. After a while you just sort of go with the flow like this mute, oblivious, dullard of a shell you're playing as. Even then you just keep on tripping over the hitches and cutting yourself on the uneven edges.
"Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now open your throat and lets have a look at that stomach heart."
"Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now open your throat and lets have a look at that stomach heart."

They try to evoke this atmosphere of an invasion actually taking place with other civilians running and standing around. But...yeah... Good thing they gave something a try at least, because the rest of the game is just a very poor effort.

Level design is bland, incoherent and dull. Cookie cutter AI that occasionally spazzes out. Mediocre graphics. Incredibly bad and poorly told story. etc etc. It's just this boring trudge through generic levels, shooting stupid enemies. And also it's bad.