Something went wrong. Try again later

vibratingdonkey

This user has not updated recently.

1238 1219 40 37
Forum Posts Wiki Points Following Followers

Mostly been buying games rather than playing them

You guessed it. The Steam Holiday Sale made me buy about 30 games. 20 being the Eidos Pack. Only had an interest in like half of them, but  for €45.99, whatcha gonna do. That's €14 less than Modern Warfare 2, FYI.
 
So far I've mostly been playing GTA IV. Feels good to be able to play around with the good old handling.dat again. Hasn't changed a bit since GTA 3. I don't know how that's even possible.
 
Tried cranking up the settings once and ended up creating some form of disaster movie scenario where taxis would sporadically land on you out of nowhere every now and then. Managed to accidentally slide a motorcycle barely underneath one once. Just like in the movies. The car I saved in my parking lot spontaneously disappeared straight up into the stratosphere as I got near it. If you've ever seen these sketches it was a bit like that, only the whole car, and luckily no eggs.
 
So yeah, get GTA IV for PC. You can do all sorts of nonsense.

1 Comments

Maybe...?

After (I think) three years I finally put the internet on my old Sony Ericsson to download some free games. It is not possible to make a game control well with a keypad. Or in some cases, at all. Battery drains in like 30 minutes too. So I kind of stopped caring again. But this is the most time I've spent thinking about mobile games in years. 
 
So I guess I do care more.  

1 Comments

Worst game of the year

I try not to play my worst game of the year, but year after year I fail. This year I have two candidates, that I can remember.
 
The Godfather II
I absolutely hated the first one but thought I'd give this a chance anyway, because that's what I'm like. It is a vast improvement over its predecessor, meaning it's garbage. Basically it has evolved into Saints Row 2, but without the fun, as the fierce, soulless blandness that has come to define the series has survived fully intact. So it's douchey, crass and dull.
 
Guitar Hero 5
The setlist is TERRIBLE, rendering the whole game worthless. My fault for assuming it would be alright and not terrible like in every other Guitar Hero I've played. But alas. Also it turned out I don't really care for the genre any longer. Having wasted €90 on it doesn't make me hate it any less either.

3 Comments

Nazis hiding in sandbags

Critics didn't appreciate this game as they simply didn't realize what it was. It was wrongfully marketed as a WW2 FPS when it in fact is one of the few comedy games. For proof, see what happens when you replace the r's in the title with l's. Hour of Victory - Houl of Victloly - Howl of Victloly.

Or you can watch this.

  

2 Comments

i r teh game has in febury

I'm getting a bunch of games. Like three.

People say Street Fighter IV is the shit, but this will be the first fighting game I've bought since like...DOA3, and that sure was a mistake.

Killzone 2 demo is ok. Nothing super-interesting going on here it seems, but the AI makes things fun. Have hopes for the multiplayer.

F.E.A.R.2. The one I'm looking forward to the most. Because combat in this game is FREAKING MAD BANANAS YO! You're like this sweet ass ninja of total radness and you run and mess people's shit up like a mofo in slomo without even thinking twice about it god damn. If there ever was a Max Payne substitute, this would be it. I just wish it would channel some more kung fu and John Woo.

1 Comments

Turning Point, or The Adventures of Average Joe

I remember the developers used to talk up the fact that in Turning Point you were playing as a relatable, regular guy just like you and me, getting caught up in this situation which forced him into joining the resistance to fight in this alternate history WW2, where Winston Churchill was killed before the war broke out ???? and then Germany invades America with giant assault blimps which the US radar system somehow failed to pick up.

Then it just goes downhill from there with this average Joe being ordered by the military to blow up tanks and infiltrate enemy fortifications. "You, random guy, blow up those tanks!" they would say before just standing there, immobile, staring into the abyss. After a while you just sort of go with the flow like this mute, oblivious, dullard of a shell you're playing as. Even then you just keep on tripping over the hitches and cutting yourself on the uneven edges.

"Young lady, I am an expert on humans. Now open your throat and lets have a look at that stomach heart."

They try to evoke this atmosphere of an invasion actually taking place with other civilians running and standing around. But...yeah... Good thing they gave something a try at least, because the rest of the game is just a very poor effort.

Level design is bland, incoherent and dull. Cookie cutter AI that occasionally spazzes out. Mediocre graphics. Incredibly bad and poorly told story. etc etc. It's just this boring trudge through generic levels, shooting stupid enemies. And also it's bad.
1 Comments

Ostriches aren't humans, but they still smell nice

I've been all antsy-pantsy about this thing called Fragile ever since I first laid eyes on the first screenshots, and even more so when hearing one of the tunes. And the concept. Post-apocalyptic settings always gets me. Typically means you're on your own, wandering through a deserted landscape. I just like that feeling of being alone in peaceful nature, exploring and taking it all in. Particularly at night, there's just something calm and soothing about it. The solace of the silent night allures me. Wow. Where did that come from? Is like all poetic and shit. Anyhow, there's also a mystery element to it. Another thing I like in my games, or anything for that matter. That there's something tangible and provocative teasing you to continue, giving you motivation.

I don't know what it is, but this game just seems to have the "it". I can just feel it'll be full of wondrous, evocative style, charm and personality. It gives off that vibe. Even the name itself. Fragile: Farewell Ruins of the Moon. Doesn't that just sound wonderful?

I feel like I don't really need to know more about it than I already do though. I know that it's gonna be fantastic, that's really all I need to know innit?

2 Comments

Spoore (see wat i did there?)

Creating your own weird creatures and discovering those created by others is a fair bit of fun and is where the strength of Spore lies. But as a game Spore mostly just fails.

The introductory Cell stage is reminiscent of something like Pac-Man or Flow and is entertaining in all its arcadey simplicity. The following Creature stage was epic disappointmenton however. I was curious and spiritful. The introduction with your little animal swimming towards land made me smile. It was a brand new world for me and my creature. I was curious to find out what we would discover on our adventures.

Turns out the Creature stage is pretty much the same as the Cell stage, only 3D and you get the option of fighting or socalizing with creatures. There is some gameplay in there when it comes to avoiding predators, but mostly it's just some sort of simplistic MMORPG-ish grind where you run around and click things. However, after the initial soulcrushing disappointment I grew to realize the whole thing had some appeal to it. It has a little bit of a world simulation/ecosystem feel to it, it can be fun to discover what other players have created, and you sort of grow attached to you own creature. Ultimately, it's probably pretty ok I guess.

Currently I'm at the Tribal stage. It doesn't seem to allow me to play the game the way I want to and has been really frustrating so far. I was trying to create a friendly, diplomatic tribe, but the game kept sending other tribes at me to steal my apples and burn down my huts.

I'm not terribly keen on continuing to play. Perhaps I'll pop in to mess around with the creature creator, but as for the game part of it... I mean, I'm not terribly hopeful for the last two stages and the Tribal stage has been shit to be honest.

4 Comments
  • 11 results
  • 1
  • 2