Quick Look: Duke Nukem Forever: The Doctor Who Cloned Me

I always get so motion sick by the view bobs in certain FPS-es :/

@admanb said:

@TheVideoHustler said:

Well, I can say that Duke Nukem is the only thing Giant bomb and I have not agreed on. I don't understand the hate, really.

You're what's wrong with America.

Wow. That's a caustic thing to say because somebody has an opinion.

I think Brad is way off when it comes to the first person platforming thing. I don't doubt that the jumping stuff in DNF was awful, but Valve is really the only dev that has ever pulled off first person platforming in a shooter. Both Half Life 2 and Portal 1 and 2 had good first person jumping segments, and I absolutely expect Half Life 3 to have them as well.

Doesn't looks too off-putting.

And I did appreciate the monster clawing you through the cell door bars, Duke 2 style.

From Postal to DNF? Man, these guys knows what's up. Welcome to the world of Alex.

Ugh, does Brad have absolutely nothing better to do than fuck up every Quick Look? Let's have some QLs WITHOUT Brad for once, please.

ll_Exile_ll "I think Brad is way off when it comes to the first person platforming thing. I don't doubt that the jumping stuff in DNF was awful, but Valve is really the only dev that has ever pulled off first person platforming in a shooter. Both Half Life 2 and Portal 1 and 2 had good first person jumping segments, and I absolutely expect Half Life 3 to have them as well."

Metroid Prime.

My favorite Quick Looks are for mediocre games. It's entertaining when they praise a game, but incredibly funny when there shitting on something like this or Postal 3.

@Eaxis said:

aww come on! Play five more minutes and you would have found something worth it! Come back and update the quick look!

It gets genuinely funny when he meets up with his clones.

@edgefusion said:

Ugh, does Brad have absolutely nothing better to do than fuck up every Quick Look? Let's have some QLs WITHOUT Brad for once, please.

Brad wasn't even playing. Or are you suggesting that his mere presence somehow ruined the QL for you? If that's the case then I suggest you either stop being a bitch or find a Brad-less gaming website because he probably isn't going anywhere.

@edgefusion: Shut yer hole.

I forgot how bad the load times were in this game.

Reminds me of that time a developer made something similar and asks a test guy if the level is ok. But the developer wonders if players gonna find their way through the level. The test guy says: "Yeah, it's pretty obvious where you need to go. So don't worry about it!" And then they watch a QL like this and either laugh their ass off or start to doubt their testing.

Nevertheless a funny way to start 2012 :D

I think these Quick Looks were warm-up for Blackwater.

@Eaxis: Oh I know it is awesome. I saw it in a Reiner and Phil video on gameinformer.

Is this Black Ops? Deja Vu.

@gladspooky said:

Also, *states first-person jumping puzzles are dead, puts Portal 2 in his 2011 GOTY list*

good point

I don't know, maybe they chose to ignore it completely because it wasn't funny, or just didn't play Black Ops enough, but the Black Ops opening actually made me chuckle.

Wha....was that an Episode 1 reference from Brad at 10:42?

Spun that chair, spun it good.

@edgefusion said:

Ugh, does Brad have absolutely nothing better to do than fuck up every Quick Look? Let's have some QLs WITHOUT Brad for once, please.

That's going to be hard what with Patrick and Jeff on vacation for a bit longer. Sorry, but that is on you if those sexy dulcet tones don't do it for you anymore.

Oh God, that fucking music! I had hoped I would never hear the loading screen music again.

So no turning on subtitles for Quick Looks in 2012 then?

Oh wait ya did...like 9 minutes in after missing a "SHOOT THIS!" button prompt which then lead to 4 wasted minutes of back-and-forth in a hallway.

Video Games!

Gearbox arguably made the best fps expansion ever with Opposing Force for Half-Life. It's kind of disappointing how limited this seems in comparison.

Seriously, am I the only one who saw that the opening to this DLC is a spoof of CoD Black Ops?!

I got the achievement for beating the game on the highest difficulty AND keeping the golden pistol on my first (and hopefully only) run.

THAT was a bad decision.

I gotta say, this wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, but I also did watch Postal 3 yesterday so let's just say that the bar has been set excruciatingly low. Although with that being said, please go away Duke, go away for a long time and take your delusional fans with you, the latest excuse that came up during the end of the year discussions to defend the horrible 60 dollar mess that was DNF, was something along the lines of "you people just didn't 'get' the humor and the gameplay!".

I still don't want to actually *play* any more DNF, but this does look like an improvement over the original campaign.

... Not that it would take a whole lot, but hey.

@lordofultima said:

Is this Black Ops? Deja Vu.

thatsthejoke.jpg

@ll_Exile_ll said:

I think Brad is way off when it comes to the first person platforming thing. I don't doubt that the jumping stuff in DNF was awful, but Valve is really the only dev that has ever pulled off first person platforming in a shooter. Both Half Life 2 and Portal 1 and 2 had good first person jumping segments, and I absolutely expect Half Life 3 to have them as well.

I would argue that ONLY Retro Studios (Metroid Prime) has gotten it totally right with first person platforming...the Half-Life platforming was the worst part of those games and part of why I hate them so much. In Portal it was fine...I guess.

This is how you do a new Duke Nukem: Make Duke the bad guy, you are on a team of people sent to kill him who proceed to get utterly wrecked by him at the end of every level. Play the whole thing tongue in cheek, make your team super serious almost Call of Duty esque and then have the world and Duke be the only things outlandish. Then we can laugh with them at Duke instead of being forced to laugh at ourselves. It is an intentional break in the 4th wall that would make the games idiocy funny again.

Pregnators.

There is nothing out right now so they are really scraping at the bottom of the barrel from last year.

@MormonWarrior said:

@ll_Exile_ll said:

I think Brad is way off when it comes to the first person platforming thing. I don't doubt that the jumping stuff in DNF was awful, but Valve is really the only dev that has ever pulled off first person platforming in a shooter. Both Half Life 2 and Portal 1 and 2 had good first person jumping segments, and I absolutely expect Half Life 3 to have them as well.

I would argue that ONLY Retro Studios (Metroid Prime) has gotten it totally right with first person platforming...the Half-Life platforming was the worst part of those games and part of why I hate them so much. In Portal it was fine...I guess.

I would add DICE to that list, Mirror's Edge was awesome.

GameInformer did a run through of this DLC earlier -- Ryan and Brad were a room away from getting to the clone stuff.

@gladspooky said:

Also, *states first-person jumping puzzles are dead, puts Portal 2 in his 2011 GOTY list*

Yeah, but there's a difference when platforming is the main mechanic of the game and when it's just a side tracking obstacle in a shooter where platforming is not its focus. You don't even really jump that much in Portal 2 as much as you use the portal gun or the gels to propel you around. And the sections that do require you to jump don't require such measured, specific jumps. It also helps that you don't take fall damage. I think Mirror's Edge is a decent stab at the impenetrable genre of first person platforming in terms of jumping and measuring your jumps.

I don't think anyone's said it yet, Dr. Proton is actually the antagonist of the very first Duke Nukem. Or should I say, Duke Nukum.

DNF was offensively bad, this just seems a bit dull. Despite what Brad said, they were clearly looking for things to complain about, such as the repeating taunts which happens in pretty much every game, or what they called "jumping puzzles" which were barely puzzles at all. Funny the only thing they didn't complain about was the very first puzzle in the game which had them running around like jackasses for ten minutes.

I'm not going to go crazy and argue that this DLC is going to be amazing, I understand that it's got some pretty stinky boots to fill, but the dialogue was passable and the environments looked OK, seems like it has the potential to not suck as much as DNF.

Wow, you've got Ryan the "hater" and Brad the "moron" reviewing some good $DLC. The Giantbomb crew loses massive respect for this quicklook.

@Chibithor said:

I don't think anyone's said it yet, Dr. Proton is actually the antagonist of the very first Duke Nukem. Or should I say, Duke Nukum.

Yeah, I got a heavy Duke Nukem 1/2 vibe from the opening of this. The hand reaching out of the jail door damaging you happened in Duke Nukem 2, though you did get some warning there.

This doesn't look great, but it looks like it might be a bit better than the original DNF.

@gladspooky said:

Also, *states first-person jumping puzzles are dead, puts Portal 2 in his 2011 GOTY list*

*creates false equivalence, smugly posts about it in comments*

Not exactly selling me on a copy of Duke Nukem Forever. At least it didn't look as sad as DNF, just kinda boring.

Why are people trying to defend this mediocrity? We should be critical of anything that expects us to forgo our time and money to experience it no matter the extenuating circumstances behind its creation.

Short of it is, from a looks and play style perspective we played DNF six years ago when it was called Quake IV. If that appeals to you then great but it has been vastly outclassed by more recent FPS developments.

@Abendlaender: I have no idea what you're talking about!

I could not hate brad and ryan any more than I do right now. Complaining about jumping puzzles in FPS games yet you praised Portal 2??? Hippocrite much? I had to stop watching this quicklook before it ended so I didn't punch my monitor.

@Buzzkill said:

I could not hate brad and ryan any more than I do right now. Complaining about jumping puzzles in FPS games yet you praised Portal 2??? Hippocrite much? I had to stop watching this quicklook before it ended so I didn't punch my monitor.

Bitch much?

@Buzzkill: Just stop. You're embarrassing yourself.

You know, after Postal 3, Duke Nukem Forever doesn't seem nearly as bad. Just soul-crushingly boring.

@rosebud04 said:

@gladspooky said:

Also, *states first-person jumping puzzles are dead, puts Portal 2 in his 2011 GOTY list*

good point

No, it's really not. It's two totally different thing and any dumbass with a brain could see that.

@Buzzkill said:

Wow, you've got Ryan the "hater" and Brad the "moron" reviewing some good $DLC. The Giantbomb crew loses massive respect for this quicklook.

Randy Pitchford, is that you?

Is it just me, or is every Giantbomb video getting more quiet as time goes on, compared to the rest of the content on my computer? The sound track on the videos are looow! Crank it up!

And no, its not just the video player that needs a tune, its on my iPad and iPhone too .. So sad, since I want to hear every single detail!