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Posted by bigjeffrey (4699 posts) 11 months, 11 days ago

Poll: Do you swim in the ocean or eat sea food? (272 votes)

Yes 81%
No 13%
Not Anymore 7%

Because a whale releases 400 gallons of semen in 1 load.

Think about it.

#1 Edited by selfconfessedcynic (2495 posts) -

Approximate volume of the ocean;

3.434 × 1020 US gallons

So... I don't give a fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck about whale semen. Heck, I'd be more worried about chemicals and waste.

But yes - I love tuna and swimming in the ocean isn't bad, but is something I'd only feel interested in doing if there were women folk in the party (call me a pig, but w/e - otherwise it isn't worth the itchiness).

ED: Also, it's an urban legend;

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_blue_whale.htm

Blue whales being the largest animals on the planet, it stands to reason that their reproductive organs ought to be of similarly impressive dimensions, and that is certainly the case. By one estimate, the penis of a blue whale can measure up to 16 feet long and its testicles weigh in at around 25 pounds apiece. But even packing 50 pounds of bollocks — the weight of an average-sized bulldog, if you need a benchmark — it's absurd to imagine that a blue whale (or any other creature on earth, for that matter) could produce 400 gallons of seminal fluid at a time, or even one-tenth that amount.

(For yet another comparison, I found a credible source stating that the southern right whale — which has testicles even larger than the blue whale's, weighing in a half-a-ton apiece — produces about five gallons of ejaculate in a single mating session. Five gallons, not 500.)

#2 Posted by Gargantuan (1880 posts) -

I don't do whale hand jobs so I think I'll be fine.

#3 Edited by MEATBALL (3011 posts) -

Delicious.

#4 Posted by TruthTellah (8375 posts) -

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

#5 Posted by selfconfessedcynic (2495 posts) -

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

#6 Posted by Unilad (554 posts) -

I like to piss in the water I swim in.

I'm a danger man.

#7 Posted by TruthTellah (8375 posts) -

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

What?

#8 Posted by selfconfessedcynic (2495 posts) -

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

What?

Nothing. Just... nothing.

#9 Posted by TruthTellah (8375 posts) -

@truthtellah said:

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

What?

Nothing. Just... nothing.

It was a joke based on what some men tell women.

#10 Posted by Jimbo (9767 posts) -

It's true, that's why seawater is so salty.

#11 Posted by Oldirtybearon (4513 posts) -

Baron Von Flanagan ruined seafood for me.

#12 Edited by Rick_Fingers (524 posts) -

Forget whale semen, you should be more concerned with me

#13 Posted by falserelic (5270 posts) -

bustin all kindzzz of nuts, all kindzzz

#14 Posted by fetchfox (1213 posts) -

Oh yes. The sea is often cold in the summer, but I enjoy sea food every week. I'm from a coastal town after all.

#15 Posted by Fattony12000 (6940 posts) -

I do sick elbow drops into the ocean.

#16 Edited by selfconfessedcynic (2495 posts) -

@truthtellah: haha, I figured.

I just wanted to give you enough rope, as it were.

#17 Posted by supamon (1333 posts) -

So you're saying whales sire a ton of bastards?

#18 Edited by jimmyfenix (3800 posts) -

bigjeffrey IS at it again!, to the question hell to the yes.

#19 Posted by Sinusoidal (1259 posts) -

That number is a bit ridiculous. A blue whale weighs in around 170 tonnes. 400 gallons is around 1500 liters, which presuming whale sperm is about the same density as water, weighs in at around 1.5 tonnes. That means it would ejaculate about .8% of it's weight in sperm. Supposing you are a healthy, adult male, weighing in around 170 pounds. That would be like you shooting 1.5 pounds of sperm in one load. The real world typically does not obey rules of hentai.

#20 Posted by RazielCuts (2900 posts) -

PROTEIN

#21 Posted by Canteu (2821 posts) -

I don't swim in the ocean and the only seafood I eat is fish. Not a fan of shellfish or muscles or whatever shit.

Fuck I hate the ocean.

#22 Posted by Deranged (1837 posts) -

I'd be more worried about the people who piss in pools.

#23 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

The ocean is like some fucked up other dimension. I may as well eat shit from the Negative Zone. Fuck the ocean.

#24 Posted by konig_kei (595 posts) -

Where do you think human waste goes? Don't go swimming after a storm.

#25 Posted by Ataribomb (101 posts) -

I'll swim where I want and eat what I want. Unless there's a shark in the water. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces.

#26 Posted by pyromagnestir (4190 posts) -

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

What?

Nothing. Just... nothing.

It was a joke based on what some men tell women.

Also you can't get pregnant if you do it in water. So that means there are probably more people doing it in the ocean, which means even more semen in the ocean, which means the ocean is even better for your skin!

Online
#27 Posted by SomeDeliCook (2203 posts) -

I swim in public pools and water parks and those are much worse

#28 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

I swim in public pools and water parks and those are much worse

In a way but at least there are no horrifying monsters lurking below.

#29 Posted by Andorski (5173 posts) -

They clean the fish before selling them in the market... I hope.

#30 Posted by Scampbell (486 posts) -

@somedelicook said:

I swim in public pools and water parks and those are much worse

In a way but at least there are no horrifying monsters lurking below.

Where I live this is the most horrifying monster.

I think I'll survive.

#31 Posted by natetodamax (19164 posts) -

I'm a fan of the ocean and sea food. When I was younger I spent a week on my grandparents' boat going to islands and fishing in the ocean. It was great.

#32 Edited by afabs515 (1000 posts) -

now i wanna go to the beach every day

#33 Posted by MideonNViscera (2257 posts) -

@mideonnviscera said:

@somedelicook said:

I swim in public pools and water parks and those are much worse

In a way but at least there are no horrifying monsters lurking below.

Where I live this is the most horrifying monster.

I think I'll survive.

They're probably rapists or something.

#34 Edited by Colourful_Hippie (4328 posts) -

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

@selfconfessedcynic said:

@truthtellah said:

I've heard many guys say that semen is good for your skin. So, why wouldn't I swim even -more- in the ocean after learning this?

Wh... why and where have you heard so many... what?

What?

Nothing. Just... nothing.

It was a joke based on what some men tell women.

Wait, it's a joke?

I fucked up.

#35 Posted by NakAttack (1289 posts) -

Got to get that protein while working out.

#36 Posted by RollingZeppelin (1908 posts) -

So every time a whale ejaculates the ocean's concentration of whale semen increases by 0.0000000000000000113%? I think I'll be ok, more seafood please!

#37 Posted by MocBucket62 (1130 posts) -

Luckily I swim and fish in an area where the closest thing to a whale is a whale shark (I fish around the Florida side of the Gulf of Mexico). So I think I'll by okay.

#38 Posted by Blu3V3nom07 (4136 posts) -

When I eat sushi, I figure the fish spent all his money on lottery tickets.

#39 Edited by Willza92 (258 posts) -

I always suspected I was a slut...

#40 Edited by Chaser324 (6245 posts) -

For some reason, when I saw the title on this thread I thought it was going to be an either/or question. Thank goodness I'm not being forced to choose.

Moderator Online
#41 Posted by Deadlydog (139 posts) -

No because i don't really like the beach and i think seafood is disgusting.

#42 Edited by 49th (2666 posts) -

I guess that's why they call them... sperm whales!

(because of the sperm in semen)

#43 Posted by MonkeyKing1969 (2518 posts) -

All I know is there is nothing more luxurious then sitting on a seat made of whale-penis leather. Whale penis leather is the most expensive leather you can buy, and when you sit on it your are LITERALLY sitting on a whales penis....and you spent millions to do so.

#44 Posted by themangalist (1716 posts) -
#45 Posted by Turbyne (98 posts) -

@jimbo said:

It's true, that's why seawater is so salty.

Cmon, man! Haha.

#46 Edited by StarvingGamer (7898 posts) -

Still can't flag polls, lame.

#47 Posted by RandomHero666 (3181 posts) -

I can't swim, and most of the water around Ireland is polluted as fuck

So no/no

#48 Posted by mikey87144 (1648 posts) -

So, pollen is tree sperm. When they're pollinating and all that stuff gets on your car you're looking at tree ejaculate. Does that stop you from breathing.

#49 Posted by thebunnyhunter (1345 posts) -

I hate sea food, hate it. Also i live quite a bit away from the closest ocean and have never even been to one.

#50 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (4328 posts) -

So, pollen is tree sperm. When they're pollinating and all that stuff gets on your car you're looking at tree ejaculate. Does that stop you from breathing.

It does now.