Welcome to the Velvet Room...

by Randy Marr

   One of the things that fascinates me most about a video game is the soundtrack and it's use. I feel that something as simple as the music of a game is perhaps the strongest tie you may have to a favorite moment or title. One such song, the "Aria of the Soul" (or if you will, "The Poem for Everyone's Soul"), is a staple of the Persona franchise. It's been in every game and in many different variations. Right now I'm going to take you on a bit of an audio tour of this song as it has progressed through the years.
 

Megami Ibunroku Persona

   The original Persona game, known locally as "Persona: Revelations," was known for a lot of things... mostly a god-awful translation and the removal of a well-sought after side quest involving The Snow Queen being completely removed. (Fortunately all of this is to be rectified in Persona for PSP!) It should also be known as the origin of the "Aria." Here I have two versions from a soundtrack I came across. Featured are the original and a rather glorious arrangement.

The original:

The Arrangement:

   As you can tell, the song's life is off to an impressive start. If you ask me, the original just might be the best version of this song, but let's continue on to Persona 2 and see what it has to offer, shall we?

Persona 2: Innocent Sin

The Velvet Room:

   There are also several "Velvet Room Variations" that I shall link you too: 2. 3. 4. Not particularly the best, but after watching this video I have to wonder where all of Igor's mates went. He looks like he had a real party going in there, but now it's just him and Elizabeth... as we head into Persona 3.

   Persona 3 and 4 share the same base version of the song you'll see in the first video. (or hear, I suppose.) But I should say that Persona 3 also has, by far, the most number of versions of Aria, including a final boss battle revamping the song and calling it "Battle Hymm of the Soul" (also known as "The Battle for Everyone's Souls). However, it is also used as the game over music, it is remixed for the "Persona 3: Renaissance" album, as was "Battle Hymm of the Soul." The original sound track for Persona 3 also featured an exclusive version "Blues in Velvet Room." See what they did there?

Persona 3 FES

   The Blue Velvet Room:

Battle Hymm of the Soul:

Reincarnation: The Poem of Everyone's Soul

Reincarnation: The Battle for Everyone's Souls

Blues in Velvet Room:

Persona 4 features the same original version of The Blue Velvet Room music as 3 did, but what you might not have heard is an exclusive version that comes with the original soundtrack (and if memory serves, not the one we US folks got on our bonus OST disc, but the full-fledged version). The title is...

Persona 4

Electronica in the Velvet Room

Dance, Margarette, dance.

   And finally, as a bit of a hype-push for the Persona remake coming out on PSP, I present to you the newest addition to the "Poem of Everyone's Souls" collection:

Persona PSP

   A remarkable journey for an even more remarkable song, but let's hope this is not the end of Persona and the "Aria!" Let there be many more versions to gome as more and more Persona games are made in the coming days. Are there any other favorite songs in the Persona franchise that you happen to have? Perhaps I could do another feature on some of them, because there just might be a few more versions of the song than you're aware of...

(Note: Is this kind of feature actually interesting out there? Would it be worth it to people besides me to try and write more of these? Also, how do you like the format? Should I just link to the youtube videos instead of imbedding them? I'd love some feedback!")

It Fails to Transform the Regular Stacker Enough

by Randy Marr
   So the new Transformers movie is upon us, and with it, MARKETING TIE-INS! WHOO!! And who better to hop onto the summer blockbuster band-wagon than Burger King? They've decided that a promotional give-away and new product were in order. Your typical Burger King "There's a sticker on your cup and maybe your fries!" contest is back, with the patented "There's two scratch-off's! Pick one and maybe you'll win! (But if you scratch both you lose anyway)" Accompanying this little give-away is the new BBQ Double Stackticon! (Visit the actual site here, complete with scarier-than-normal King)

   The BBQ Double Stackticon is an attempt on Burger King's part to "Transform" the regular BK Stacker. For the uninitiated (Salad eating mother fuc~...), the BK Stacker is two slabs of beef, two slices of cheese, bacon ,and some mystery (yet delicious!) sauce. You can also up the ante by making it a triple or even Quad-Stacker, depending on the amount of self-loathing you posess. So what's the big secret to the transformation? Sweet Baby Ray's Sweet and Spicy BBQ Sauce. And it doesn't really do anything. Maybe I just got a bad one, but it tasted like a typical burger to me. At this point I'd rather have a Wendy's Baconator, and directly attack my heart for massive damage. In the end, the only difference is the sauce, and it's just not as good as whatever the hell it use they use for the stacker. So not only is there a lack of originality on the part of Burger King, but they turned a personal heart-stopping favorite into a weaker, more mild version of it's former self.

   If you feel enticed by this sandwich, allow me to recommend you just stick with the typical BK Stacker. It's cheaper and it's better. And if you're feeling really lucky or you're ready to end your own life, may I suggest asking them to make it an "Octo-stacker," which really would have been nice if they had it for the release of Spider-Man 2.

   A 2.5 out of 5.

(Instrumental)
-Theme to Burger Time

I've Better Things to Do

by Randy Marr

   I wanted to like Henry Hatsworth, I really did. I love 2D platformers enough that I'm almost always willing to give one a try. Panel de Pon (Planet Puzzle League, Pokemon Puzzle League, Tetris Attack... take your pick) is one of my favorite puzzle games out there, and with it being the basis of the puzzle half of this puzzle-platformer (puzzle puzzle puzzle, in case I haven't said it enough), I thought we were getting somewhere. Top it all off with an undeniably awesome paintjob of old men who like to explore random ass locations in search of golden pants and what have you, well it sounds like a match made in heaven.

   Until you find out that it was actually concocted by Satan himself.

   Like I said, I wanted to like this game. For a while I kept telling myself "no no, this game is really better than the sum of it's unreasonably mediocre parts." But by the time I reached world 4-6, the illusion was over and all that remained was the harsh fact of reality: I'm not finishing this game.

   Calling it, dead on the table, 5:46 AM (sweet, sweet insomnia). A boss fight with some decrepid old dude being weilded by a gigantic nurse (which is awesome on paper) left me broken and disillusioned with Henry Hatsworth. This boss fight was simply poorly designed. I've played through Gradius games that pulled less bullshit. But when I'm getting hit by attacks from accross the room, then pinned in a corner and having random pills raining down upon me with no where to hide... I'm just too aggrivated to care. But that wasn't the clincher: I finally get Nursezilla and her immobile companion down to a third of the health bar and suddenly her attacks cause these icicle shards to rain down (in the middle of an underwater fortress, mind you.) I think "Well, whatever, let's just dodge these suckers." Only to find that 3 of the 4 of them have completely crippled my puzzle screen. For those unfamiliar with the game mechanics, that completely removed my ability to charge up my special abilities, regain health, or power up my shots. Then the game decided this bossfight was in dire need of more underwater combat.

   Because you know, underwater combat, that hasn't sucked in roughly every game ever.

   So now every action I make is painfully slowed, and the fat nurse is just bouncing around the screen coughing up pills that mutate into sword-wielding monsters. It's just too much for me, without the use of my puzzle to power up, to handle. I've played a lot of frustrating and clunky games before (*Cough*aloneinthedark*Cough*), but I've learned that at this point: I don't have to. I have a stack of almost 30 games that need beating, and I'm done wasting my time on this one. It wasn't even that fun to start with. The platforming was mediocre, the combat was slow and boring (having to do the same combo for 30 seconds on EVERY ENEMY is not fun), and having to stop every 2 minutes to clear out the puzzle on the bottom just makes for a tedius stop-and-go game that ultimately I decided just needed to stop.

   Fortunately, I don't get any payment to write reviews, I just do them as a hobby. So if you want, consider this a review that I'm not going to score. I don't recommend this game, straight up. Get Kirby and Planet Puzzle League instead. Get two DS's and just switch between them every five minutes, if you really need to get your fix of a game like this.

Greasy insomnia please release me,
and let me dream about making mad love on the heath;
tearing off tights with my teeth.
Faithless - Insomnia
Satan from Shin Megami Tensei II in demon form. sa

Reach for the Gold

by Randy Marr

   Members of the "Club Nintendo" service have until June 30, 2009 to claim as many coins as they can in order to reach Gold or Platinum service. Doing so will make them eligible for a special reward. To earn a Gold status you need 300 coins and to earn Platinum you need 600. Coins can be earned by registering your games and consoles on the Club Nintendo website, and additional coins can be earned by filling out little questionnaires about the games.

   If you are eligible as of June 30 you can visit the Club Nintendo website to get more information on the special reward. Once they've been announced, time will be limited to claim them.

   Has anybody spent their coins on anything nifty, or are you just hoarding them up? What do you hope the special gifts will be? I'm personally hoping for that Wario colored Gamecube controller the Japanese got, though I suppose the timing would be off. Still, that thing would be sweet for a Wario fanatic such as myself. Or the Super Famicon (obviously going to be Super Nintendo) controller for Virtual Console games.

Perhaps One of the Most Inventive Games Ever

by Randy Marr

The problem with most games is that solving puzzles is limited to the game world. Maybe you only have certain tools, or maybe there's only certain ways a character can move through the environment. There are many times where games don't do what you think they should, but they have every capability too. (A certain ending to Fallout 3 comes to mind.) Most open-world games with their laughable morality systems (*cough*infamous*cough*) only let you do things one way or the other.

This is not this game. Scribblenauts lets you do whatever you want. Don't believe me? Here:


So what do you think? This game is easily on my top 5 games to get this year. (Maybe I'll make that list sometime here...)

"My god can beat up your god
My god has told me so."
Dennis DeYong - My God (Can Beat Up Your God)