I think ChessCube (http://www.chesscube.com) is a fairly decent site, it's what http://www.twitch.tv/chessnetwork uses when he streams himself playing matches. I've not got back into chess enough to comment further apart from it seemed easy enough when I used it last year, if you're decent enough then you can enter blitz tournaments and the like, or I think you can pay your way in (yuck). Might be a bit too busy if you're staunchly against those kinds of things, but it's somewhere to start.
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