I totally forgot about "Suck shit from a lead pipe labeled 'shit delivery system'." Oh my God I needed that laugh. Phenomenal work, really. This needed to be done.
I don't know if it's already in or already suggested: "It looks like you're ruining your soul. Would you like some help?" - Jeff Gerstmann (from http://www.giantbomb.com/podcast/?podcast_id=303 at the very beginning)