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trulyalive

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I'm Not Jesus: Photo of the Day 13-07-10

I will inevitably get some slack for this...  

Jesus is watching you...
Jesus is watching you...

I am probably the most unreligious person I know. I have no real issue with the notion of religion...I'm critical of the whole concept and think that the history of religion paints it in an awfull light but when it comes to actual problems with religion, I don't have much. Hey, if someone believes something that has no real impact on me or any negative impact on anybody, and that something they believe helps them to cope good for them. Whatever. I'll live. 
That said, I love the exterior of churches. I think they look magnificent and because I live in a very old city, there are a lot of beautiful ancient churches in my local area, as well as a fantastic Cathedral on top of a hill (I'll introduce you to it later). This church however sucks. There's nothing wrong with the building itself, it looks fine. And don't get me wrong, the only things I know about architecture is what I've read in The Fountainhead so when I say it looks good, I mean it doesn't look especially pretentious. But fuck man, what is with the blatant as fuck Dead Christ staring down at me whenever I walk past. Like I said, I'm not religious, but if I were I'd feel uncomfortable knowing my Dying Lord was *staring the fuck down at me* every time I went to worship. 
Goddamn it.
 
Song of the Day: I'm Not Jesus -- Apocalyptica ft. Corey Taylor 
  
  
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People Should Smile More: Photo of the Day 12-07-10

This is easily my greatest accomplishment in my whole life, ever. Fo' sho': 

Apparently, I have a manual focus on my camera. I'm guessing Sony never expected me to use this feature to spread smiles, to fight for the common good!
Apparently, I have a manual focus on my camera. I'm guessing Sony never expected me to use this feature to spread smiles, to fight for the common good!
 
IT'S A SMIIIIIIILEY!!!
Honestly, though, up until I discovered my ability to manually focus (or defocus as the case may be) the best I had for today was an illuminated hobo shoe. 
No Joke. 
Anyway, in case you didn't get the [awesome] Billy Idol reference in the last PotD, the blogs are named after semi-relevant songs. The reason I'm explaining is that no-one will know this song. BUT THEY SHOULD. So because I'm just a nice guy, I'll provide it for you, all of you to find below: 
 
People Should Smile More by Newton Faulkner 
  
  
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White Wedding: Photo of the Day 11-07-10


Because I don't blog enough here is my new thing. Photo of the Day: 

 
 
 
...And there it was. 
No, seriously, This is something I started on facebook a few days ago and the picture can be of anything, it just needs to be uploaded on the same day it was shot. By anything, I mean anything. Myself. A cat. The street. The ocean. Your Mom. Hardcore Pornography. A fluffy cloud. Combinations of all these things and more. 
Why? Well, as stated above, because I don't blog enough, or at least that's why it's here. I originally started it because a few years ago I bought an expensive Handycam and well...haven't really used it that much. It's not worth breaking out video until I've bought my new laptop and editing software so pictures seemed like a good (albeit the only) choice. 
One photo a day, for as long as I have any willpower left in me. 
Here's what you missed by not loving me on facebook: 
 
10-07-10: 

 
 
 
Caption: Considering I have to walk 4 miles home from work more or less every day, it's a real relief whenever the sky becomes as entertaining as it does at dawn. I really love the orangey-red appearance that the clouds take early in the morning in the summer and I specifically adore the way all the plants and objects in the foreground are silhouetted by the camera in this picture. It feels so much more mysterious than the road I walk down actually is.     
 
 09-07-10
 
 
 

Caption: Ok, this may seem like an odd one, but check out the road marking outside the house. What the hell? Not only does it just make the street seem kinda tacky but I have serious doubts as to the legality of it. It's also not as if anybody but the home owners have EVER parked there...
 
Oh, and no fucking way am I doing these dates in the American format. It's DD/MM/YY 

DD ! / MM ! / YY !

    
B[o]ut
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Loving the Luchazine...the worst way imaginable.


There's something about media that annoys me when I can only access it via the internet. I need CD's, books, DVD's and Blu-Rays. I need a hard copy of just about everything, not in case I lose a file or because it's more easily accesible but because...I like stuff. I like having stuff. 
I don't know whether you noticed this or not but I happen to be involved in GoranP's famed Luchazine project and if you haven't checked it out yet, you should. I'm not just saying that because I'm involved, it's fair to say that my stuff is amongst the weaker articles in the mag. There is some gold in there and I'm enjoying being a part of issue 2 and hopefully future issues. But something's been bugging me: It's a magazine, yet I'm trying to read it in PDF form. For my 'stuff'-oriented mind, this will not do. 
Thus began an epic 4 hour (FOUR FUCKING HOURS) printing session this morning. I burned through almost £30 ($44US) worth of ink. I think that makes Issue One of The Luchazine the single most expensive paper product I've ever bought. That costs more than a years subscription to one of the magazines I frequent, and this is one freakin' issue. I'm going to end up doing this every single month, I can see it now. 
Goran, I hope you're happy. You're making me a poor man.
Goddammit.
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Alan Wake: Post Mortem.


Alan Wake review is up: Enjoy here. 
I have more to say about Alan Wake than I could honestly express in a review, so here's some additional thoughts. 
It's worth mentioning that I've only really been playing horror games for about two years...it started with Bioshock. Sure, it's not really a horror game, but it has pretty specific horror elements to it. To someone who had no idea what Bioshock was and had never played horror games, it left an immediate impression on me. Despite the fear, I enjoyed it. 
From then, I moved onto the Condemned games. They had a certain frantic energy to them as well as a twisted perception of humanity in general. It was more a conceptual nightmare than an action-based one. It was nigh-on nihillistic. 
Dead Space was next and I will happily fight anyone who exclaims that it is Resident Evil in space, I have always despised the Resident Evil games for pressing the panic button, by restricting the ammunition and resources and forcing you to scavenge desperately just to get by. To some it may sound like I'm bad at the game and looking for excuses, and although to a degree that's true it's also true that for a survival horror series of games, there's really nothing scary about it. It seems too bland for me in that respect. Dead Space however was a better game, providing enough ammo and scares to earn it's place as a great horror game. As well as that, it took full advantage of its space setting by putting you out there in space; that silent floaty horror resonated for a long time with me after playing. 
I've tried Silent Hill. I've failed at Silent Hill. There's something about the tone of those games that is literally too much for me. I have seen some remarkably twisted things in my time and Silent Hill seems somehow worse than all of it. I'm trying to get through Shattered Memories right now, with little luck. 
 And now there's Alan Wake, which literally taps into my worst fear. 
 
I have Nyctophobia, fear of the dark. It's a subject explored extensively in the game and I felt almost comforted by the games acknowledgement that the dark is sheer terror for some of us. It didn't take long for me to realise that the game was using that fear against me, quite subtly at first and extremely later on. I'm not going to make any absurd claim that Alan Wake helped me get over my fears...lock me in a dark room, or cause a power cut at night and I'll still freak out. But playing through the game did feel helpful in a way. It allowed me to reflect on my phobia in a number of ways. 
 
B[o]ut.
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Barry, Angels and a week of overnights.


I'm very tired right now. I finished work 5 hours ago and have spent 4 hours of that time plowing through Alan Wake. It almost feels like the game was written for me. 
I'm an absurd fan of the notion of 'meta' which can most simply be translated as self-awareness. This game has it in spades and uses it to it's best potential. Kind of like Bioshock but without the shock of a big reveal. You'll get used to the notion quite soon into the game, in fact you can see the Quick Look posted on the sight for the first real taste of it in the game. In regards to the rest of the game...well, I'll save that for a review. After two sessions with the game so far I'm halfway through chapter 4 of 7. Sorry, Episode. Episode 4 of 7. So only a day or two until I hammer out a review.  
(By the way, despite what you may read anywhere else, Wake's agent Barry is easily the best thing about that game. He's like Enzo from Bayonetta. Except...not rubbish.)
 
Other games on the horizon are Prince of Persia and Blur. Both look...interesting at least.
 
The hour I haven't spent playing Alan Wake was occupied mostly by cigarettes and as bad for my health as that might be I did find that my new favourite band How to Destroy Angels have posted a new song on youtube, accompanied by a fairly twisted albeit awesome music video. I suggest you check out The Space In Between here for all your Industrial/Dark Ambient music needs. 
 
Aside from that, this tiredness looks likely to continue. I have a week of overnight shifts to enjoy this week. That's 9pm until 6am for those unaware of how McDonalds works its Shift Managers to the ground. Tiring stuff. 
 
B[o]ut.
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Screeeeened!


If Screened has the same level of quality as Giant Bomb, I wouldn't be surprised if I spend an inordinate amount of time over there in the next few weeks. Movies have always been my main thing in life. And goddamn, if those quests aren't far more attuned to my taste. 
... 
I still <3 you, though GB =)
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Feeling the strain.

I've been getting far too many games recently. I don't know why I act surprised that my GamerScore doesn't add up, when I don't get around to finishing the games.
Well, that's a lie, there's just a few that I don't play, but they're often the ones that I'll probably get the most out of if I stick with them. Let's have a run down.

Mass Effect

[S]He wants your children...for breakfast!
[S]He wants your children...for breakfast!
I had no intention on giving up Mass Effect. I bought it cheap in late December, given how long it's been out. I bought an 360 in the summer of '08, so I'd missed the release date by a wide margin. I played for about 10 hours or so before I kind of just moved on from other games and after 10 hours, I got the impression that the story had just started. Like, I'd finished the prologue. I appreciate long games. Grand Theft Auto IV was a great game, and 30 hours is a hefty chunk of time to invest in one campaign. But with GTA, by hour 3 it felt like I was knee-deep and it only progressed from there. Mass Effect takes too long to find it's groove which leaves me feeling like I'm running in circles, going nowhere. Stories are not vital to video-games. I dig stupid shooters and racing games, but there comes a point in a game that relies heavily on its story that it needs to actually give you some story. Mass Effect fails in that respect. I've still not quit on ME, but I'm not rushing back. I'm not stoked for the sequel, I'd like to finish the actual game first. We'll see.

Far Cry 2
Boom goes the Dynamite?
Boom goes the Dynamite?
You know when you can tell the game you're playing is good but... well, you just don't feel like playing it? It's not even that it's not fun. Hell I had a good time with it. But it's a flawed game from the start. By which I mean to say that it is insanely fucking difficult. I like a challenge, man, but ya'know...thats why I play on Hard later. My refusal to play any game on Easy kicks in here, too. It's a pride thing. I'm very arrogant like that...
You know what would make the game feel better? If it was a Third-Person action game. I like First-Person-Shooters as much as the next game, but Far Cry 2...it's too wide, too open. Too big, to loose. And it's just too fucking realistic for it's own good. I had fun with it for about 10 hours, but then it just felt like I had made my way to South Africa and was fighting a real war, rather than playing a game. Immersive qualities be damned, I like games, not realism. It's the reason art exists, as a form of escapism. I want to escape, not be pulled back into this shitstain of a planet.

Fallout 3
"Shoot that muthafucka'!"
Fallout 3 is freaking brilliant, yet I've not played the game in about a month and I'm only half way through the main storyline. I keep on trying to convince myself to play more but I never get around to it. Same as Mass Effect, other games have taken my attention first. Which really sucks now that I think about how much I was enjoying Fallout. Whereas Far Cry felt too big, Fallout doesn't. Maybe it's the fact that you don't get assaulted everytime you travel five feet across the map. Maybe it's because it's so out there, in it's own future world that it doesn't bring me down every time I play it. I don't know, But I'm sure I'll get around to playing through some more sooner or later.

Left 4 Dead
Genocide. It's the new black.
Genocide. It's the new black.
I've never been a massive Valve fan. Half-Life 2 was ok, although I never played too much, really. I dug Portal as much as any other guy. It was cool, but one fucking annoying glitch killed my progress and I've never been bothered to return. I do not like Team Fortress 2 at all. Left 4 Dead, however, I love. It's so tight and immersive. As a total nerd, I'm also obligated to love it due to the content revolving around zombies. Although one incident did frustrate me (some fucker on Xbox Live asking if I "have a girlfriend"? What business is that or yours you total fucking freak?) I don't think anything can overshadow the awesomeness of finding a good crew of team-mates and annihalting civilizations of Z's. I'm laying off for a bit because my friend Tom has yet to buy it. But when he does get it, I'll be playing for days at a time.

Call of Duty: World at War

Any game with explosions and Jack Bauer gets a 10, though...
Any game with explosions and Jack Bauer gets a 10, though...
I had a bit of fun with World at War. I crammed through the campaign and it was cool. The whole multi-player aspect left a lot to be desired though, which sucked because it's *ALL THAT ANY OF MY FRIENDS WERE PLAYING*. I shit you not, every night, man "Up for some COD5 action?"
Shit man, that ain't action. Get back on COD4, dude, that was action. Hop on Left 4 Dead, that my pal is action. The closest COD5 comes to action is in it's Veteran difficulty, and then it suffers from Far Cry 2 syndrome, but I'll give it credit for knowing its place. The Regular difficulty was of an appropriate difficulty (bar the last level which just go absurd.)
Oh, and credit to the crew on getting Kiefer Sutherland on board. As a massive fan of 24, just hearing his voice reassured me through half of that game. Kudos on Gary Oldman, too, except you can't really tell it's Gary Oldman, which is kinda weak. Use your stars to their full potential to draw in the money. He puts in a decent performance, sure, but it doesn't mean anything if I don't know it's him =/
So, yeah, capable shooter. Fairly fun. I might nip back for some more Veteran difficulty. Perhaps.

There's more but I'm late and I'm tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Laters ^__^
B[o]ut.
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The Storytelling Law of 'C'

Note: Although this is on a game website, I cover various different spectrums of entertainment. There is a slight focus on films because it is a more prominent means of telling a story than games (despite a recent advancement in games that tell stories) and I mostly came up with the thesis whilst thinking about film in general.

It's become a fairly common habit of mine to ponder the motives of characters in films beyond what we as an audience are shown. Sometimes subtle hints pave the way to deep musing and sometimes lack of development leads my inquisitive mind to fill in the gaps. Sometimes I just get so engaged that I can't help but speculate furthur. And along the way I've come to an understanding that there is one law based around one letter of the alphabet that tends to sum up all films in general and the incentive that drives them. In fact, you could probably go so far as to broaden the idea into any form of entertainment or 'art', providing you don't get too specific. If I were to narrow the gap down as much as possible it would be to say that this law tends to focus on stories and any medium which tries to tell a tale. And the letter, in case you're wondering, is 'C'.

Conflict
Let's face it, how many great stories have you read, watched, heard or generally experienced which didn't come down to some form of conflict? Even jokes tend to start with a point of conflict. "An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman walk into a bar." Well, logically the first thing you'd imagine them doing is getting a drink and then they have to choose which one they'll each have and frankly, we haven't even gotten to the bulk of the joke yet. This is just the set up. Conflict is what drives all stories and it's what keeps them interesting. You don't even have to consider any great stories to find conflict, either, all the boring and mediocre ones tend to focus upon it equally. For a time, it eluded me as to why this seems to be such a necessary crutch for all our entertainment to fall upon but eventually it came to me...if you spent 2 hours watching someone achieve everything they've ever desired, just find it on their lap in a whim, how depressed would you feel about your life? No conflict means no effort, so it's hardly a heartwarming underdog story. Without conflict, we're essentially reading a tale about how Spot the Dog went to the park one day and had a great time, and unless you're aged between 3 and 5, that's never going to be particularly entertaining. Plus, even Spot the Dog usually got lost or something and had to wait for his mum to find him...
It's only in the most shallow and heart-wrenchingly putrid of stereotypical teenage pop songs that conflict seems to not play a part when it comes to entertainment and I'm not sure there are many educated people who would go so far as to consider said songs as particularly artful.
So, if Conflict drives entertainment, then what drives conflict? Every form of entertainment that follows the rule of conflict follows another rule of C and it's actually kind of depressing when you stop to think about it long enough. Our second C is of course...

Coincidence
This is where things start to get tricky...
At the beginning of the video game Bioshock, the main characters plane happens to crash into the ocean, just above where an advance city is hidden under the ocean...
15 minutes into Fight Club the Narrators apartment just happens to blow up mere hours after he met an intriguing stranger whose contact-card he accepted.
In the Harry Potter books, Harry just so happens to be the only wizard alive who is seemingly immune to his arch-enemy's magical abilities.
And every rock song ever just happens to be completely ironic when compared to one's own life and seems to channel the same level of angst many people suppress.
If you haven't figured out by now that none of these events are in fact coincidences, maybe it's time to wake up. Coincidence is something that developers, authors and writers call upon in every story in order to instigate events. Give them a little kickstart and whatnot. "Character A just happened to be in Place B when Situation X occured."
However, as in the above cases, coincidence can be manipulated, even revealed to be far from coincidence.
Let's take Bioshock for example and I think now is as good a time as any to post a big fat warning.

SPOILERS ARE BELOW, SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ, BUT DO WANT TO MISS MY POINT
It turns out, as the plot progresses in Bioshock, that the plane crashing was not coincidence, but was in fact all manipulated by the supposed villain of the game Andrew Ryan. The player is not even a standard human but a clone whose very existence was in fact calculated to take part in a grand scheme of events that were taking place long before his birth.
SPOILERS ARE NOW OVER, RESUME READING BUT DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE REST

So, surely, that's void of coincidence right? It was all carefully manipulated, surely. Wrong.
It doesn't matter how in depth the writer manipulates the circumstances for the player, main character or events in question, the more you follow the timeline back, you're always going to find coincidence.
Consider your own existence: Your parents met, hitched up, and you were the result. However, even if they planned to have you as a child, manipulating when would be the right time to have you, it was still a coincidence that they met. Maybe your Dad's friend manipulated that by introducing your parents, but it's still a coincidence that your Dad met his friend. Follow the time-line back far enough and you find coincidence. But seeing as we're comparing to the real world now, there are some issues that really need to be taken into account.
Well, not so much some issues, as one specific issue: God, or whatever you want to call him/her/it, be it Shiva, Destiny, Karma, whatever. If you believe in this higher power that has ultimate control, coincidence is nothing more than a fallacy because this Superpower has the ultimate ability to manipulate everything and by putting our existence into place, has already done that.
When God created you, me and everything, it created us with the knowledge of how we would come to be, how we would live our lives and how it would end. It knew already, because it put it into motion. God isn't a scientist, experimenting with gadgets, God is a being that has infinate control and no random switch. And by comparison, the Equivalent of God when it comes to stories is whoever wrote or came up with the story. They created it with the knowledge of how it would play out.
The trickiness I mentioned is breaking the fourth wall by analysis, rather than characters talking through the television screen to you.
Let me try and dumb things down a bit.
In the movie, Slime Monsters 2, the character Jack engages in conflict by being eaten by one of the epnymous monsters. This happens because God (i.e. the Writer Herbert Slimmings) decided it would. Herbert decided it would, because the actual God decided that Herbert would decide that. This, if you have faith in some supernatural deity, coincidence is futile and impossible. It would be nice if it were so simple but now I have to pull out the real philosophy and pose the futile and forever unanswerable question that leaves me struggling to sleep at night: How did God come to be? Surely it couldn't have been some sort of...coincidence. Unless He/She/It willed Himself/Herself/Itself into existence, anyway.

This is pretty much as far as this idea can be taken because as stated, there is no answer to the question, or at least not one that can be summised by human law. But it does pretty much go to prove the existence of the two laws in storytelling, be it film, video games, books, music, whatever. There are two rules which create the Law of C: Conflict and Coincidence.
Yeah, I know that I could have used a thesaurus to find some longer words, or come up with some sort of special acronym using other words with the same meaning, but this is how it came to me. For the most part it's simply, but if you spend too long thinking about it, you're going to end up in an asylum...
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