Quick Look: Dead or Alive: Paradise

BREAST WEASELS! BEST QL EVER!

Okay, time for a test. My apartment window overlooks the nearby pool. There are, in fact, girls in bikinis outside. 
 
*looks at girls* 
 
Nope, real boobs don't move like I saw in the game. Just making sure...

My god...

In before 5 stars, GOTY.

" Okay, time for a test. My apartment window overlooks the nearby pool. There are, in fact, girls in bikinis outside.  *looks at girls*  Nope, real boobs don't move like I saw in the game. Just making sure... "

I approve of the choice of Christie, also wow.

" Happy Easter, AjayRaz. "

This quicklook is both creepy and hilarious, thanks to the commentary.

I actually can't even watch this. It's so bad.

New Endurance Run right here. I'm calling it.

25mins and 47 seconds of awkwardness

rofl @ 16:30
"C'MON!!!! SHOW THE DAMN CARDS"

Fuck me, I got 7 minutes in and I gave up... also. Why does the goddamned island have to be named Zack Island?  It embarrasses Zacks everywhere.

Oh my god something's happeniiiiiiiing 
 
 
 
Now I feel all sleepy...

" ENDURANCE RUN ANYONE!? "

The boobs look like when you have a water balloon and you bounce it by making a yo-yo motion while holding the tie.

" This is just garbage. DOA was always garbage and had never done anything that was good instead of being a joke in the gaming industry. "

For some reason , I suspect Jeff and Ryan are not the intended audience.

soooo creepy

" Oh man, I love how enraged Jeff seemed to be by everything. What a creepy, creepy game. "

Yo dude, this game is effing bad...

I suppose it had to be on a PSP because of how hard it would be to take a PS3 and television to the toilet with you.  Where presumably you would then flush yourself away in a fit of self loathing and mandatory shame.

Jeff is trying to catch some of dat azz.

Something tells me this will be a truly magnificent trainwreck.

I like to think that this game was made just so that we could have a great Giantbomb quick look.

My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.
 
edit: In fact, my anaconda don't want none.

Holy crap that was uncomfortable!

I bought Xtreme 2 for 5 bucks, thinking I could get some easy achievements points. I was sorely disappointed.

" I can say with absolute certainty that this is the best quick look ever "

And now they are making the new Metroid. Who's excited for how that will turn out!!

" I suppose it had to be on a PSP because of how hard it would be to take a PS3 and television to the toilet with you.  Where presumably you would then flush yourself away in a fit of self loathing and mandatory shame. "

" @nailerr said:

" I suppose it had to be on a PSP because of how hard it would be to take a PS3 and television to the toilet with you.  Where presumably you would then flush yourself away in a fit of self loathing and mandatory shame. "

Awesome!   Also I too bought the 360 version of this shit for $5 for achievements.. I have yet to get one. I believe nobody on Giant Bomb has any yet actually. "

	flamarlins26 773 ACH / 28,430 P	1,000 P
	Me55iah 4,029 ACH / 107,236 P	1,000 P
	Irael 1,961 ACH / 40,192 P	1,000 P
	iMindGamez 2,491 ACH / 57,060 P	1,000 P
	Berserko 2,124 ACH / 51,246 P	1,000 P

" @Xeiphyer said:

" @nailerr said:

" I suppose it had to be on a PSP because of how hard it would be to take a PS3 and television to the toilet with you.  Where presumably you would then flush yourself away in a fit of self loathing and mandatory shame. "

Awesome!   Also I too bought the 360 version of this shit for $5 for achievements.. I have yet to get one. I believe nobody on Giant Bomb has any yet actually. "

Actually 5 Giantbomb members have S-RANKED Xtreme-2. Those people must be so proud!
Congratulations to:
 

	flamarlins26 773 ACH / 28,430 P	1,000 P
	Me55iah 4,029 ACH / 107,236 P	1,000 P
	Irael 1,961 ACH / 40,192 P	1,000 P
	iMindGamez 2,491 ACH / 57,060 P	1,000 P
	Berserko 2,124 ACH / 51,246 P	1,000 P

  Isn't modern media great? "

" Why... why do they have parachutes and ejection seats inside a submarine? "

*sigh* remember when Dead or Alive was a fighting game?

i think we all know what jeff wants: Persona 4: Paradise starring Chie

Who in the world would actually, really, properly play this.
 
Should come with a box of kleenex or something, but those low grav titties aint worth pumpin one out over, really.

Wow that looks terrible...and the boob physics are so effing creepy dude!

Oh my god ahahahahahahaha, this is the worst thing ever!

Endurance Run 2.0

I JUST JIZZED IN MY PANTS!

my new play "The Space Between Her Ass And The Chair" is opening off broadway next month.

" Lack of penis makes this game even worse than it is anyway "

Ugh!
I've never heard so much ~heavy sighing~ during a quick look.
Painful to watch, Painful to listen to.
A dumb DUMB "game"....
yuck!
 
Sloppy seconds from  Tomonobu Itagaki.
Do not want !!!