The Death of a Video Game Benchmark

#151 Posted by sempiternal (37 posts) -

I did wonder a few weeks ago during his teary promo on Raw if he would ever cut his hair now that he's gone from being "semi-retired" to "possibly another couple of matches in him somewhere down the line but pretty much retired". Took him like two weeks.

#152 Edited by vinsanityv22 (1064 posts) -

This news....

My world makes no sense anymore. Why did you do it Triple H!?! I mean, cutting it is bad enough, but then to "Get the Vince McMahon"... that's just lame. Or sucking up to his father-in-law. One or the other. Either way, it is insulting. That is literally the exact same haircut as Vince. Uncool.

"Esteemed news outlet TMZ..." -- although that did make me laugh, Jeff ;)

Video game hair technology will always suck until western developers stop delivering character designs as boring as Bald Space Marine stereotypes. Remember when Sucker Punch was going to change Cole from blandy mcblandpants to generic extreme sports guy for Infamous 2, and IGN lost their minds (Greg Miller, mostly) and Sucker Punch had to change them back so he'd stop annoying them? Christ, even when they WANT to try doing hair, they always end up coming back to the Bald Space Marine template.

#153 Posted by FormulaDeuce (232 posts) -

Need to go to the store and buy a forty so I can pour one out.

#154 Posted by Indiana_Jenkins (379 posts) -

You freaked me out for a second. I thought Triple H was actually dead.

Wierd thing to admit, but I will be sad when he passes. He was a big part of my childhood for at least 2 years.

#155 Posted by IanYarborough (149 posts) -

His nose in profile is. . .just epic.

#156 Posted by Demoskinos (14519 posts) -

@sempiternal said:

I did wonder a few weeks ago during his teary promo on Raw if he would ever cut his hair now that he's gone from being "semi-retired" to "possibly another couple of matches in him somewhere down the line but pretty much retired". Took him like two weeks.

Nobody in wrestling is ever really retired.

#157 Posted by Irvandus (2777 posts) -

So this means video games are over right? Well im going to find a new hobby.

#158 Posted by Redhorn (222 posts) -

Fuck the world.

#159 Posted by RenMcKormack (1071 posts) -

@Demoskinos said:

A botchamania youtube video in a news article on Giantbomb? My life is complete. THANK YOU BASED GERSTMANN.

#160 Posted by scarace360 (4828 posts) -

It could grow back? I hope.

#161 Posted by DataLore (6 posts) -

This is one of the signs for the end times, right?

#162 Posted by High_Nunez (218 posts) -

Damn...he sold out. Whatever, he's been sold out since forever, but...damn.

#163 Posted by Kete (51 posts) -

This is my favourite giantbomb article.

#164 Posted by Claude (16254 posts) -

I see some art Jeff. You're growing.

#165 Posted by sodacat (214 posts) -

This is why we have videogames. So that, virtually, HHH's hair will always be with us (except now it'll probably be in the form of DLC).

#166 Posted by the_OFFICIAL_jAPanese_teaBAG (4307 posts) -

Video games are over!

#167 Posted by DiGiTaL_SiN (1789 posts) -

Now video games will have 30% higher FPS.

#168 Posted by bigevil1987 (102 posts) -

This is one of the most important game articles I've read in some time. Back when I was a big wrestling fan HHH's entrance was always my judge for a new console's graphics capability. It's just not the same without the hair clipping.

#169 Posted by rempresent (98 posts) -

Jeff is right on about this, shitty metal hair is a REAL PROBLEM.

#170 Posted by theshape108 (10 posts) -

This is worse than the time they broke the news to me on the Bombcast that COPS was basically faked.

#171 Posted by ApeGantz (216 posts) -

That's not Saber-tooth??

#172 Posted by xMEGADETHxSLY (446 posts) -

THERE IS NO GOD

#173 Posted by DoctorWelch (2774 posts) -

This is the best thing. An news story not about video games, made completely about video games...I love this site.

#174 Edited by Demoskinos (14519 posts) -

@bigevil1987 said:

This is one of the most important game articles I've read in some time. Back when I was a big wrestling fan HHH's entrance was always my judge for a new console's graphics capability. It's just not the same without the hair clipping.

You're not joking. Back in the day I'd watch HHH's entrance in Smackdown:SYM over and over again because I thought it looked like the most amazing thing ever at the time.

#175 Posted by Satchamobob (4 posts) -

...What the hell did I just read?

#176 Posted by michaelfossbakk (236 posts) -

The fuck? :?

#177 Posted by BRYN (90 posts) -

RIP GREAT HAIR

#178 Posted by Demoskinos (14519 posts) -

@BRYN: Glorious.

#179 Posted by big_jon (5707 posts) -

I approve this article.

#180 Posted by me3639 (1711 posts) -

Whatever Brah my shit staying tight.

#181 Posted by Sagalla (213 posts) -

I'd just like to say the best video game hair I've seen was in Tekken 4. Makes me wonder why it hasn't been as good throughout the rest of the series :/

#182 Posted by MikkaQ (10263 posts) -

Man I was playing No Mercy just yesterday, weird.

Guess ya gotta move on sometime.

#183 Posted by DrPockets000 (2859 posts) -

Somebody was bored and/or intoxicated. 

#184 Posted by Y2Ken (1041 posts) -

Well now they'll just have to introduce "Classic HHH", they've got enough this year with Jericho, Undertaker, Edge, Christian, Kane and maybe more.

#185 Posted by TheHBK (5458 posts) -

What do we do now? We have nothing left.

#186 Posted by TyCobb (1944 posts) -

Noooo!!! The Game will never be the same (ha! puns)..

#187 Posted by DougCL (208 posts) -

NO, ITS OKAY JEFF, I WANTED TO BE UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING BOTCHAMANIA. I WASNT ABOUT TO GO TO BED OR ANYTHING.

#188 Posted by DFSVegas (350 posts) -

Gaming is dead...

#189 Posted by RPGee (759 posts) -

Giant Bomb, presenting only the finest in video game news.

This is clearly a sad day for us all. I look forward to the time when we can re-establish a suitable standard for resolution-quality determination.

#190 Posted by Neonie (414 posts) -
#191 Posted by Baal_Sagoth (1224 posts) -

Oh, damn it!

#192 Posted by dcgc (878 posts) -

Damnit Triple H, what have you done?

#193 Posted by Tennmuerti (7956 posts) -

And he suddenly looks like a decent guy for a change.

#194 Posted by matti00 (668 posts) -

This news article made me bust out laughing. Also, I'm upset that the video has shown me wrestling always sucked, it isn't just sucky now.

#195 Posted by Napalm (9020 posts) -

Wait, those Botchamania videos are real? There's hundreds of them!

#196 Posted by Ronald (1334 posts) -

I guess most wrestlers realized video game hair will never be good enough for them so they all cut their hair.

#197 Posted by selbie (1835 posts) -

I was completely thrown by this article. At first I thought it was about serious GPU Benchmarking software.

Then again, Triple H's hair could be considered a powerful benchmarking software...especially if they get the spray effects right.

#198 Posted by Sploder (917 posts) -

This is fucking amazing.

#199 Posted by Stonyman65 (2570 posts) -

Goodnight sweet prince.

#200 Posted by Nentisys (883 posts) -

Journalism at its best.

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