By now, most people who are active on Twitter in the gaming space have likely seen the calamity that is IGN's list, which decides the best video game of all time. The obvious caveat is that deciding such a feat is always going to result in animosity, but it's safe to say that this pointless bracket has managed to surpass even that leniency.

After several questionable choices, the finale landed on the 2018 reboot of God of War or Grand Theft Auto V. Then, God of War won. God of War is the best video game ever made, according to a democratic voting process.

Look, God of War is not the greatest video game of all time.

There's no well-argued stance behind that idea; that's as objective a truth as it can get. Yes, it's impossible to decide what rightfully can be the greatest video game ever made, cop-out bla bla bla, but it's definitely not God of War, regardless of its quality. The new God of War is amazing, it even stood fairly high in my own 2018 list. Few will deny that this isn't a splendid return of the franchise. Could the reboot crack a Top 100 list? Probably. It's just that this game is an iteration, an evolution; it's an amalgamation of previous concepts that have been proven effective. The good of the new God of War was forged in the fires of focus testing, streamlining and audience retention data. I don't think this release needs to be one-of-a-kind to be exceptional. As God of War is nearly indistinguishable from several similar high-ranking peers, however, it would be strange to pick this over the entire history of video games that are their own product, while attaining the same quality. There's probably a better way to argue that, if that's what I was doing, as games can be trite and still be a pivotal experience. People love playing Destiny 2, after all. Just remember that, beyond anything, God of War is not the greatest video game ever made, period.

Considering how the bracket started, it was obvious to see that this thing was doomed from the start. Again, contentious results were always going to happen. They're not called an upset for nothing. For instance, God of War started its run by beating Starcraft 90% to 10%. Starcraft, the game that is solely responsible for the billion dollar industry that esports is today, didn't make a dent in the Sony reboot. It might not have won, but maybe there's a hint of foul play in that percentage's outcome. This head-to-head was, unfortunately, far from the worst that happened during this event. There's really only one fight here that was just unacceptable in any form. In the matchup of Half-Life 2 versus Rise of the Tomb Raider, the latter edged it out with 52 percent. I'm not at all a big Half-Life 2 fan, but I would find it hard to believe that most people even remember which Tomb Raider iteration the Valve classic fought. For full context, it's the second release in the reboot trilogy. This was the game that Microsoft made a timed exclusive, to try and win over its own Uncharted audience, before attaining no result whatsoever. What a memorable occasion.

So, to set things right and because my brain is reeling from declining health for over a month, I've decided to do the bracket over. Run it back, they said. After a few upsets of my own, I think I managed to come up with a favorable outcome. Obviously, my version has its own flavor of Wrong Answers Only, so I'll try to go over some of the choices I think would cause the most frustration. I'll show my results below:

Burnout 3: Takedown

In the first round, Burnout 3 takes on Chrono Trigger, a role-playing game (RPG) with so much fan favor behind it that it's almost impossible to go up against this classic. I'll just come out and say it: Chrono Trigger is not that good. It's original, the art is great; that frog dude is really cool. Sadly, I found Chrono Trigger to just be wildly obtuse and rigid in that RPG manner that was on the way out at the time. I don't even think it's the best implementation of an experimental RPG, as Terranigma is right there. Chrono Trigger is good, but it doesn't hold a candle to Burnout 3, which straight-up rips! The high intensity, the powerful collisions, the adrenaline of trying to thread the needle; Burnout 3 is all gas, no brakes. The arcade racer is also blessed with one of the most weirdly in-tune soundtracks ever made. From First to Last, My Chemical Romance, Jimmy Eat World; this list rivaled even the best Tony Hawk games. I had "C'mon C'mon" by The Von Bondies on repeat so many times while playing this game that it is still in my playlists to this day.

In the next round, Burnout 3 took on World of Warcraft and that's a no-brainer. Of course Burnout 3 is a better game than World of Warcraft, hands down. The latter is just the first game to get its genre market penetration, but the recent revitalization of the massively multiplayer online game (MMO) has proven that this initial excitement was more of a vibe. It turns out that old online games were pretty harsh and tedious. Grinding an MMO is temporary, but shredding is forever! I make no apologies for this statement. Having Burnout 3 eventually beat Journey as well, however, was one of the hardest decisions here. They're both just wonderful experiences on different sides of the emotional spectrum. Sorry, Journey.

Shadow of the Colossus

Fittingly, this game is a giant that stands on its own. The exploratory gameplay of the platformer isn't for everyone, but there is nothing out there quite like it. In the first round, this game takes on Dark Souls, the most fervent fandom game in the world. If presented with the choice of playing an eccentric release or a game that's purposely made to suck, I would choose the former every time. A game that sucks deliberately still kind of just sucks. The merit Dark Souls gets for its exquisite aesthetics just don't size up, certainly not when its opponent is just as unique of an atmosphere, except without having the tagline "Prepare to die." I know that's not what people want to hear, but at least Bloodborne wins from a random virtual reality game, so there's a consolation prize.

Like I said, I'm not that into Half-Life 2, so Shadow of the Colossus would eventually beat that too. There's nothing wrong with the Valve game, I just don't think it's their best release, when Portal 2 is in the same contest. Additionally, the multiplayer, which was always my go-to, paled against the original Half-Life. Nintendo was the only thing possible of stopping this giant, because Big N just has a way of making nostalgic gold.

Final Fantasy VII

This line was one of the hardest to complete. Arguably, Final Fantasy VII isn't even the best Final Fantasy. That honor goes to Crisis Core. This RPG is, however, the most pivotal in the series. This game is why we have the franchise today and why the remake was so sought after. In the first leg, the Squaresoft joint went up against The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. I want to emphasize that I didn't make this decision lightly, as I recognize the historical impact of the Zelda game that turned to open world systems. I just didn't like playing Breath of the Wild. Everything else about the Zelda game was exactly what the franchise needed, but having to put my hands on the awkward controls and doing endless busywork just didn't capture me, in a way dozens of open world games have before. In contrast, I've spent over 200 hours on Final Fantasy VII, squeezing every drop of content, breeding gold Chocobo to go racing and collecting the Knights of the Round materia.

In that same spirit, I had Final Fantasy beat Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Call it a comfort pick. Castlevania is great, but it can also be a chore to work through. It can feel like there's no end in sight to the platform RPG, as masterful as it is. So, evidently, that same logic applies to Final Fantasy VII going over Metroid Prime. I love Metroid Prime a lot! I can't overstate how great that game is, but I remember its frustrations a lot more than the joy of running around with Cloud and a cat on a giant stuffed toy. Look, sometimes your favorite game loses. I tried my best.

The Civilization IV vs. Super Mario World final

Unlike Final Fantasy VII, Civilization IV is the best in the franchise. That made it easier for the Sid Meier release to gain ground in this bracket. Random events were still included in the game; alternate gameplay concepts were blooming, without getting out of control. The included mod support offered even more replay value. The game is the first to win a Grammy, for heaven's sake. This game was 4X strategy at peak efficiency. Even if this genre is always evolving into more complex ways, the nucleus of versatile and fun was never this tightly made.

On the other side, Super Mario World just didn't have that much competition, until it met Tetris. We're talking one of the most important platform games to ever be created here. It might just be the best Mario game and there are a ton of those, which people like a lot. What's a Mass Effect 2 doing against that? Nothing. It's hard to even articulate fully why this Nintendo game can breeze through anything else, as its quality feels self-evident. The platform gameplay? Perfect. The bright visuals and sounds? Perfect. The worlds full of possibility and discovery? Perfect. Every second spent in Super Mario World is living a life fulfilled.

When it came to having the two goliaths clash, it did take some doing to get to the victor. I've played both games for over a hundred hours. I know these games and love them dearly. Both these gems were a formative experience. I've played much more Civilization IV, but I also fully completed Super Mario World, unlike Ben. I barely touch platform games these days and 4X is my favorite genre. There's a lot at play here. In the end, I think Civilization IV barely missed out, because it becomes a game that's harder to go back to, as years go on. Like I mentioned, 4X is constantly moving and amazing releases like Endless Legend keep redefining the standards. Hell, the later iterations of Civilization have held up those standards just as well. In contrast, anyone could pick up Super Mario World today and have, at least somewhat, the same magical experience I had when it came out, thirty years ago. Oh God, Super Mario World came out 30 years ago! I'm so old. I need to stop this right now, before all my time ticks away.

Super Mario World is the greatest video of all time! It's indisputable! Video games!

After the gargantuan undertaking of last time, where I completed both versions of Lord of the Rings: The Third Age, I needed a palette cleanser. Luckily, I have seventeen unfinished games running at any time. One of those projects that I got way into, but never finished, was NeverDead, the now infamous Konami joint. Though developed by Rebellion, the action shooter with dismemberment mechanisms was mostly attributed by the overseeing heads of the Japanese company. That attribution was more of a curse than anything. In fact, reception was so troubled that director Shinta Nojiri, also responsible for our Rorie's favorite in Metal Gear Acid, was never credited on a game again. All I'm saying is that NeverDead did not leave a good legacy.

I am here today to tell you that you're wrong. You're all wrong! Having finished the grueling last boss and seen whatever cacophony of credits beyond, I can only say that I have the deepest admiration for this game. On the surface, the third person shooter with grizzled protagonist, light platform sections and endless shooting galleries isn't a big deal. Even the dismemberment, which impairs movement or firing ability, is often at odds with what happens on the screen. Hell, the camera angles themselves are a big pain in the ass, if you could even see your ass. I get it, I really do; but to throw out a cliche like a left arm: This game is more than the sum of its parts.

For starters, NeverDead is the absolute peak of Konami's fever dream era. This is the same time period as Tak Fujii going ham on E3 stages, uttering: "One million troops! Extreme!" This is one of the cardinal companies in video games, now so high and mighty that it no longer sees a world where it can fail. As such, they've started okaying any idea. There's beauty in this madness. Moreover, the game looks great. Particularly the cutscenes get the attention that only one of the top dogs in the biz can offer. Production value in itself might not be very important, but this release is definitely not lacking in that department.

One of the biggest priorities of this game is the sound design. Right from the get go, the start screen pays tribute to one of the greats. They knew exactly what they were doing here. With a huge logo front and center, pressing the start button will have a dark, raspy voice echo: "NeverDead," exactly like Resident Evil. Every time, it's a free dopamine release. Moments later, the butt rock that coats this game starts wailing. None other than Megadeth was enlisted to provide face-melting riffs, complete with a title track. Like I said: Production value! Horns up! Extreme!

The song is okay, in the way any Megadeth song is okay.

I'd say the second pillar of this game is creativity. Considering this project revolves around detached limbs and having your head roll around like a Metroid ball, the designers have to find a way to make that system worthwhile. It might not be fully fleshed out, but this system does completely open up an otherwise linear experience. Every area can now be scoped for holes in the wall or hidden pathways in the ceiling. Here and there, you might even find a few destroyed support beams that serve as a rolling passage for your head, revealing a little secret area at the end. The people who made this game clearly cared about it a lot and it shows! It's rare that you can sense the love in a project of this size. To pass this down as merely a product just doesn't do justice to all the fine details within, like dunking your head through a hoop for a collectible. At any time, you might catch yourself unexpectedly having fun with NeverDead, if you let it.

Later in the game, I additionally discovered that the combat is a lot more suited for customization than it first appears. Experience can be traded for buying skills, which can be equipped in a limited amount of slots. Rather than just optimizing the protagonist and antihero, Bryce, I would eventually find it better to tailor skills to a certain encounter. Whether it's dumping everything into more firepower or trading it for longer melee swipes and mobility, there is another layer of depth in the gameplay. If you really want to go buckwild, there's even a feature that turns limbs into bombs, because why not at this point.

As I wrap up fawning about this eccentric release, I just want to add that NeverDead is the perfect period piece. The excess, the hubris, the experimentation; they're all a prime example of where games stood back then, at the precipice of where streamlined blockbusters are today. You will never get another game like NeverDead. Yes, it has a ton of bad parts that I'm not here to discuss today, but those are none of the things I'll remember from my time with this release. NeverDead is the perfect 3-star game; deeply flawed, but oh so interesting. History has done this game dirty and if I can convince even one person to wrestle through it, I'll consider it a victory.

It only took me two days to finish what I had started a long time ago, which made me spontaneously pop in another project: Bio Freaks. Hyperviolence in the 90s is my exact aesthetic, which is the motto of this 3D fighting game. Keeping the previous theme going, you can also dismember and shoot opponents in this game. Does that mean I'm also here to rectify Giant Bomb's verdict? Yes, but also no.

For Bio Freaks, my appreciation is a much more personal feeling. I'll always admire a game that tries, over another that's just going through the motions. That said, the sluggishness of the game's inputs, combined with the ridiculous speed one can take damage and/or lose limbs that debilitate you, make this game impossible. Even on easy, I had to activate infinite retries to get to the last boss. Any fun from shooting out buzzsaws or performing a bloody one-hit kill gets quickly evaporated by the automatic dodges and brutal punishes of later encounters. The mirror match at the end feels unfair as well, as your opponent isn't hindered by the same lag of your character. The final boss is a giant robot with a billion health that just super-murders you every time. Whatever payoff of a nice story with static pictures at the end isn't worth the sisyphean task. However, Bio Freaks is a fun slice of 90s excess, just like NeverDead, with ridiculously crazy character designs and combat arenas full of spikes, flamethrowers or vats of acid. This game is a metal album cover come to life. I, me, a crazy person, enjoyed Bio Freaks while it lasted, but I doubt I could ever convince anyone else of its worth, even with my best efforts. It is an entertaining oddity in its 1-star disaster, but it's probably best seen and not played.

Now that I've rummaged through the mud of video games, I'm turning a new leaf and starting a cult classic instead. My recent Twitter poll landed on Lunar: Silver Star Harmony, which finally gave me an excuse to touch my bulging PSP again. It's been a moment since I've played a tried and true Japanese role-playing game (JRPG), so my failing attention span isn't letting me spend a lot of time with it, but I've already taken a shine to it. I expect this to keep me busy until the end of the year, considering the length of your average JRPG. I'll likely need to sprinkle in some filth on the side to keep me motivated, but there's always plenty of garbage to go around. I just went on a bender of buying ten more used games, including Crash Bash, so there are definitely options.

Until then, I want to make it perfectly clear that I'm not kidding about NeverDead. I expect everyone to apologize to Shinta Nojiri for all your words and deeds. We could've gotten Metal Gear Acid 3 by now.

As people get older, their motivation for playing video games tends to ebb and flow. As someone who has played video games ever since they were able to make memories, however, this obstructing feeling hits different, as the kids say. Having that drive suddenly evaporate like water in the desert sun has been challenging, these last few months. Life post-2020 has become exponentially harder each day, so fitting in button presses and mechanisms got difficult. The less we talk about that, the better.

Prior to this mental sinkhole, I had managed to get a fairly nice structure going for my gaming time. I was establishing one project at a time, through a poll on Twitter, then tried to stick with it until I felt that I completed my journey. My last venture was a little ambitious, sure, but I was steadily hitting progress goals. I just so happen to own both the PlayStation 2 (PS2) and the Gameboy Advance (GBA) version of The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age; both fully realized, but completely different games. I thought it would be interesting to play these in tandem, to see how two development teams would take on a licensed property, respectively. Luck would have it that both these games are also jam-packed with content, going through the entire Lord of the Rings (LOTR) trilogy. So, this project would take me around 30 or more hours, for each version.

About halfway through, around April, my routine to play an hour or two of one version at a time started to feel like climbing a mountain, while doing a handstand. More often than not, I would dread picking up a game and would look for the fastest way to save my progress and put it back down. Then the process hit that known anxiety barrier where you know you have to do something, but just can't do it. And so I didn't.

Now, I didn't stop playing video games altogether. I don't have any other interests, so it's not like I'm going to take up crocheting. Instead, I fell back into my bad habits of playing games as a service (GaaS). It turns out that live service games are actually a terrible, destructive way to engage with the medium, but that's a whole different blog. My poison of choice is League of Legends: Wild Rift, since the phone adaptation is essentially the same as the base game. You know how to press buttons on cooldown and how the structure of the match goes, so thinking isn't really required. Pushing the buttons ad infinitum goes the same way every time and that melts as many hours away as needed or, in this case, months. Meanwhile, the PlayStation 2 on my TV stand kept staring me in the face, literally gathering dust.

With life unfolding like one of those domino effect memes, it's exactly that dust that eventually wedged the pebble out of my brain. After having to clean my apartment, to contact my landlord about my flooded home, I had become personally reacquainted with all of my consoles. I dusted my entire game shelf, which somehow turned the lights in my head back on. Just having those objects in my hands reminded me: "Oh right, these things exist!" A few days later, I grabbed my Nintendo DS and launched the GBA version. For context, I used my DS, because this LOTR game was so dark that even my GBA SP had trouble depicting the fine detail within.

Suddenly, clearing missions was nothing more than a simple time investment. I pulled an all-nighter and finished the last GBA mission, to see credits. Two or three all-nighters later, I did the same for the PS2 version. Four months of procrastinating and it took me less than a week to do the whole damn project. To be fair, both games also have an "Evil" version, where you play the other side, but I wasn't going to play the same game twice in different fonts. I dabbled with the alternate modes long enough to see that they did not offer much difference and then cleared the bonus content on the GBA, for good measure. As silly as it sounds, I'm still proud of myself for pulling myself out of this GaaS funk and just putting in the work.

Now the only question that remains is: Are these games actually any good or are they, you know, licensed properties? It may surprise you, but the answer is that these games are absolutely a good time; both of them! In fact, I would categorize these as a prime example of the often ridiculed "overlooked gem" category.

The GBA version of The Third Age is a full-fledged tactics game, complete with Fire Emblem-like perma-death. They call it Sauron mode, which they make optional, but now-absorbed studio Griptonite Games knew exactly what they were doing by adding this feature. The campaign has three acts and it's possible to pick different franchise characters for each battle. Dispatching enemies then levels up the heroes' abilities. Moreover, the mission variety is so versatile that it will rarely feel like a repetition. Combat difficulty is perfectly matched to the story pace. Truly, this game mimicks the excellence of the GBA's best tactics roster, which is no easy feat. It might not generate a lot of story by following the trilogy, but it is damn near an impeccable execution of turn-based strategy classics. In Giant Bomb's own rating system, I would have no problems with awarding this version the full five. In short terms: it's a must-play. Retroactively put that quote on the box!

Is the PS2 version similar? No, it is not; not even a little! EA Redwood Shores, also known as Visceral Games, decided to make a linear role-playing game (RPG) with side characters. Loot, ability progression, stat point allocation, dozens of expendable items; this version goes the full monty on this type of fantasy game. The turn-based battles might even bite off a little too much depth, as it has several ways to approach strengths and weaknesses, on top of optimizing party lineups. Each hero specializes in different abilities. Some characters target orcs or creatures for huge damage output. Some abilities weaken or stun enemies, so that they can't affect the party. Once again, the gameplay systems and pace are an absolute joy to go through, keeping levels, new equipment and abilities rolling at a constant pace.

Except, this game has a slight catch. The backend of the game, the Return of the King content, is a crystal clear projection of a license game rush job. This is one of the most blatant examples of a game being shoved out the door, to a degree where it becomes enjoyable because it's so laughable. All that good pacing and careful building from the first two acts goes out the door, as the game devolves into sheer chaos. Chaos! Screens are suddenly filled with back-to-back-to-back encounters. Some fights take as much as half an hour to complete, with no save points in-between. Mobs can start the fight by wiping the whole party in one shot. Boss fights get tossed in at random, yielding a fraction of the experience from normal enemies. Cutscenes show the end of the trilogy, while there's still a bunch of game to go through. There are no more rules here and it's honestly hilarious.

It is very apparent that the developers trusted that most people wouldn't finish the game and just did the best they could to meet a deadline. Despite that finish line fumble, this RPG is also an unnoticed game that anyone should add to their backlog. This PS2 version is a thoroughly well-made adaptation, right up to the point where it faceplants and becomes schadenfreude. If I were to rate it, I'd say that EA Redwood Shores would still get four stars from me. They understood the assignment perfectly, even if their managers didn't.

Why would anyone ever have thought to compare these two games in the first place? I'm afraid that the simple answer to that is: Because I could. I even have more games I could do that with, if I would be so inclined to repeat this madness. Now that I've finally been able to put this silly project to bed, I might just do such a comparison in the near future. For now, the Twitter poll has decided on a palette cleanser. I think I like that dynamic the best. You do one big game project, then you wash it down with junk food. You don't want to know my next move. My moves are either bad or worse. The only thing that's important to take away from this is that I'm moving again, finally. I hope I'll see you on the next journey.

Now that video games have been entrenched into mainstream media, Netflix has been trying to latch on tight. After a League of Legends documentary, several seasons of a Castlevania series and even a terrible take on Dragon's Dogma, the streaming service has teamed up with an industry titan. Together with Valve, an animated series about none other than Defense of the Ancients was spawned, named Dota: Dragon's Blood. Friends of the site may be familiar with the game.

I, however, am not a Dota player. I tried the tutorials once, but after a game or two, it became quite clear that this gargantuan effort didn't have a lot of rewards on the other end. My Steam inventory probably still has a bunch of beta keys. So, essentially being a rube, watching this show might give me more insight into the sprawling world of the arena game.

Still, it wouldn't exactly be going in blind either. When the auto chess craze ignited, I got heavily into the Dota Underlords beta. At the very least, I've heard of some characters already, like the ridiculously powerful Luna or Terrorblade. I may have even heard someone say: "By Selemene's light." Now that I think about it, that might've been Luna. That seems logical, since the series follows that hero and their allegiance to the deity of Selemene.

To start off the show: the main protagonist is Dragon Knight, who gets cursed with a link to a dragon. If you've ever seen Dragon's Dogma, this isn't exactly the strongest intro, considering the similarities. From there, ol' DK meets Mirana, the hunter with the jumpy feline in Underlords. The two team up to solve each other's problems, in what seems to be happenstance, more or less? The first few episodes of the show are scattered, so it's hard to tell what is happening. More on that in a bit.

Simultaneously, there are elves who seek artifacts to appease their god. These items eventually end up in a tower with a powerful wizard. From then on, all hell breaks loose and factions go to each other's throats. Once episode four rolls around, there's a little more action to keep things going, but also, that's about it? There's a war and blood gets spilled, the two protagonists share a rote love interest; the ingredients basically go through the motions.

After watching the complete series, I don't know if I've picked up any additional knowledge on Dota. The story is continuously chaotic; it seems like the show wants to touch on a myriad of references, while explaining very little. As a result, it always feels like stuff is just happening, for the sake of it, seriously deflating any action on screen. There's a knight with a colossal hatred for dragons who later on just gives up. Terrorblade, the main bad guy, barely shows up at the end and then puts in zero effort. Every scene feels like a justification, more than it is story pacing. Here's that thing from the game! On the other hand, the general bombastic way that dragons are displayed takes up so much screen time. If I didn't know any better, these predictable diatribes feel like they came from the Dragon's Dogma cutting room floor.

It's now been several days since I finished watching the Dota show and I can't say that I retained much. I do know Invoker is a hero now, but then I found out later that they're just named Carl? Why didn't the show just call them Carl? That would've been hilarious, particularly because they play such a dry role. The next season better change the name to Carl, if there is another one.

As far as quality goes, Dota: Dragon's Blood passes the bar of Dragon's Dogma, but that isn't saying much at all. Maybe diehard fans that understand all the goings on would enjoy this more, and there are tons of Dota players, but anyone without a compendium of knowledge about the game likely isn't getting anything out of this. You'd think that the goal here would be a symbiotic relationship, where Netflix lures in Dota players and, in turn, Valve can count on a new audience to help infuse some life into their ancient game.

Well, about that: I fear that I'm here to confess that I am a sucker. Due to not getting any satisfaction out of the show, I loaded up Dota Underlords again. I've been playing ever since. Seeing all my favorite heroes in that game has made me resent the flimsy show even more, but I also appreciate the characters better now. Remember Slark? They're just a fun fish dude who loves stabbing people. That's all they do; jump around and jab, jab, jab! If Slark was in this show, I would've enjoyed it so much more. I love Slark. What I forgot about Dota Underlords is how fun it is to puzzle with alliances in that game. Since then, I've been desperately trying to make Swordsmen work, then Brutes, then Healers. I'm still working on that last one, but I might dabble into some Demons.

Sadly, it seems like Valve might not be as enthused to pair the show with the chess game. The last update was in November and my ranked score has been the same since I stopped playing, about a year ago. This glorified Netflix advertisement would've been the perfect time for a big to-do, but it seems that the auto chess genre went as quickly as it came. At least the chess version makes sense; it's contained and clear in its objectives. I can't say the same for the show or the main game. Maybe I'll try again, should Dota ever land on phones. It worked when League of Legends did it, even if I haven't gone back to play Dr. Mundo in a minute. I would've also loved a show about someone named Dr. Mundo. As long as that show doesn't get into the weeds about blue buffs or something silly like that. We'll see.

What's next on the chopping block for Netflix, you think? My money is on The Elder Scrolls. Now bring back the All-Hero Challenge, damn you!

Coming right out with it: I just finished the PlayStation 3 (PS3) exclusive Lair. What a roller coaster ride it has been! I do mean that quite directly. Wow, has that game left me sweating and out of breath. So, before we go off the deep end, let's hang back a little, for context reasons. What's a good roller coaster without a slow climb.

A while ago, I wrote about buying a lot of 45 PS3 games. With my other updates about life in mind, I can admit that I haven't kept up with playing as much as I should. I did, however, recently try to nudge my way through some outliers. Particularly as I've now crossed the barrier of 900 console games, I needed to at least work through a few, so that I'm not just considered to be a dragon, hoarding various discs.

So far, I've played the entire Motorstorm trilogy, which turned out to be an interesting retrospective. Eventually, I moved on to Silent Hill 2 in the PS3 HD collection. It wasn't an easy run, but I completed that game as well. Both deserve to be reminisced, but it continues to be quite hard for me to do these writings. Nevertheless, this brings us to the here and now, where I shoved Lair into my disc drive, after an extensive poll on Twitter.

Lair is, in one word, extraordinary. I've never seen a more appropriate game that serves as a time capsule of the game industry. Let me explain:

On the surface, Lair is a story-driven game about riding a dragon. You'd think: "Oh, like Panzer Dragoon," but you'd be dead wrong. The aerial combat is only a portion of this beast. Gameplay also dives into musou territory, with thousands of ground units to claw through or to devour. Then, there are turrets and catapults that you can lift up and throw at enemies, ships at sea that need to be ransacked. You can "rage" and trigger bullet time. There's even a fighting game branch that happens mid-air. On top of that, add a morale system for troops, as well as a story that touches on climate change and the destructive power of civilization. The list goes on. Lair does all of this at the same time, with exquisite visuals and effects popping off of all its individually moving parts, as an orchestral score by a Disney alumnus sweeps through in the background. Now, here's the kicker: Lair is a SIXAXIS motion controls only game. All of the aforementioned needs to be maneuvered while flailing a controller around the room. Bear in mind, production of this game started in 2004. That's the year that Def Jam: Fight for NY released, plus some other video games, I guess.

In short, Lair may be the most ambitious video game ever made.

You can plainly see the inspirations that made this monster. Part of it wants to be as impactful as God of War was for Sony. This is also the same time span that saw The Lord of the Rings films try to translate their grandeur to a video game format. Developer Factor 5 doesn't hide a cinematic influence either. Aside from a deep production gallery, the game has a completely serious director's commentary track that can be unlocked, once you finish the game. The tracks are tens of minutes long for each mission, even for the starting hub that would take anyone mere seconds to go through. All this, for a game that's trying to latch onto the budding success of the Nintendo Wii. It's madness.

As the Metacritic rating of 53% would indicate, it's hard to get recognition when being avant-garde. In fact, Lair bombed hard enough that developer Factor 5 had to close doors, after 30 years and a bunch of Turrican games. Motion controls were so universally hated that the game is one of the rare examples where Sony released a whole 2.0 patch that offers analog controls instead. I would later find out that this patch is in direct contrast with the vision of Factor 5. I told you; that commentary track goes deep into how the sausage was made.

Am I here to tell you different? Am I going to shake your shoulders, telling you to play the misunderstood Lair right now? As much as it's a cop-out: I just don't know. I've been through the ringer, when it comes to playing it myself.

What started as a quirky novelty in commanding my dragon with SIXAXIS controls, a feature I've only used to jiggle a flashlight in The Last of Us before, swiftly turned to wrestling for control. Along with the overabundance of screen elements, it's hard to know what to do, let alone pull it off with a completely new control style. Not being fast enough drops military morale, so you might even retreat from battle before figuring stuff out. Gameplay additionally transitions from objectives to zone control to boss battles, so there's never really a groove to ease into. Every aspect of this thing is a fight. An unusual game needed unorthodox methods, so I cracked open a few bottles of soju to help me get through it. For context, while many people swear by it, I never play drunk; I hate it, in fact. For some reason though, this seemed to level me out, like drinking to be able to walk straight during an earthquake. Yes, the game is still unwieldy and obtuse, but I'll admit that I cracked myself up several times by whipping my controller around like an idiot. Dance like nobody's watching, eh?

As unintentionally amusing as it may be, Lair has no time for trial and error. Later missions have some of the harshest difficulty spikes in video games. In the tenth mission, I hit a wall and broke down. I decided to consult a walkthrough, only for that article to tell me that this shit is pretty much impossible, even if you know what you're doing. A second walkthrough then confirmed it! That's not something you want a consensus on. Combined with now passing the point of being tipsy, I called it, to fight another day.

With a fresher head, I revised the necessary steps once more and got to work. When I tell you that a game has rarely ever made me sweat as much as this one mission. This is when it clicked for me. This is the transcendent feeling that Lair wants to evoke. After this battle, I'm left out of breath, yet relieved. It occurred to me that the controls had become intuitive, as if I were pulling on the reins of an animal. It's a pretty dang cool feeling to see a vision like that come to fruition.

As the game concluded with smashing the state, to ensure a collective future, it left me wanting more, to the point that I immediately went back for the director's commentary. I wish I could tell you that I replayed the whole thing to hear everything the developers had to say, but I don't think anyone has the willpower to thrash around with Lair twice. Yes, I could technically install the analog patch that abrasively pops up on the screen every ten minutes, mid-mission or not, but the SIXAXIS element is the whole point of the game. There's not even a guarantee that it would make the chaos any less drastic. It's better not to sully the memory.

This is the prime example of what video games were like at the start of the seventh generation. Sony thought that it could do no wrong, as indicated by the original price of a PS3. The publisher bit off way more than it could chew by okaying a project that channels the Wii, Panzer Dragoon, Dynasty Warriors, fighting games, God of War and more. If feature creep had an inception in the modern era, it would start here. Lair is pure arrogance distilled and yet the game never feels like it's malicious in its intent. The new power that a console brought made a developer swing for the fences with a lavish, cinematic concept. And swing it did indeed.

As it stands today, Lair is probably the best 5 out of 10 game I've ever played. The time I spent on it is like no other game ever, but I would find it impossible to recommend, without feeling like I'd set someone up. I wish I could. I wish I could talk to more people about Lair. So,I guess this is my way of coping with that feeling. Gameplay is horribly flawed and frustrating, but also unique in a way that hasn't been seen since. The project has the same pretension as any other spectacle game, but at least it didn't just talk the talk. I will always, personally, value a game that tried and failed over a serviceable effort that's just going through the motions.

Lair kinda sucks and I love it. Maybe one day we can revisit this whole thing. There are, after all, brand new, powerful consoles that just came out. Hell, Factor 5 was recently resurrected. If that studio managed this much in 2007, then imagine the potential current day outcome. They could, however, just as easily fuck it up again. That's also okay with me.

Back in the olden times of late 2020, I, like many of us, saw Jan and Ben get really into mahjong, so I started to learn alongside our hosts. Thanks to them vocalizing their process, I was able to latch onto the basics, enough for me to download Mahjong Soul, to train for the next episode.

For some time, I restricted myself to playing in the room with artificial intelligence (AI). My thought process was that mahjong has existed for a long, long time, so even people in the lowest rings of the player rooms were likely to have been playing the game for a while. I, on the other hand, was a greenhorn who learned everything they knew two weeks ago, from parsing a stream where two others had just started gleaning the material. That sizable gap in knowledge would surely get me chewed up and give me an instant aversion to a game that genuinely seemed interesting. I took my time and, eventually, figured out why I didn't have a Yaku, which is the win condition, while having all the basic steps completed. After I learned the basic Yaku list, like getting three honor tiles of the same winds or dragons, I dipped my toes into the real stuff. Only later, much later, I found out that I can't Chii any player that would align my tiles in a sequence of three. Instead, only the soul to my left can have that happen, while everyone has the risk of a Pon, which are attaining three of a kind, hanging above them. This lack in fundamentals would lead to a lot of unwinnable games, but eventually I was able to get some podium spots. Mahjong was good, but it still felt like I was stumbling into my hands, through luck.

Gradually learning every Yaku is what separates the novices from the adepts. There's a win condition for not having any honor tiles, only having sequences with terminal numbers or only using one kind of tile. Rules all make perfect sense, once you stack these bits of knowledge on top of each other. While it's daunting at first, mahjong really is evident and the depth comes from the wide variety and the shifts that draws can trigger. This is where diving into the community helped a lot. Giant Bomb has a small, dedicated Mahjong Soul group, which is more than happy to explain some things and bounce ideas around. Join today! Once I started looking at games from members who sent friend requests, I figured out some huge gaps in my play. The road to victory is different for all of us, so these varied approaches will both be entertaining and educational. Soon enough after, I graduated from my beginner puddle, which grants access to a higher room tier. From here, Mahjong Soul asks for a buy-in to play, like the game of chance that it is. Once again, these new stakes manifested some anxiety, because what if I bottomed out? What if I'm actually so bad at the game that I no longer have the digital funds to play? Luckily, I eventually found out that there's an incredibly low chance of that happening. These days, I don't look at my free copper pieces at all.

With my book of possible plays now almost complete, there came my first dip in momentum, as well as motivation. By having too many options at hand, I would try to force the best case scenario every time, which led to frustrating traps and losses. If I have five wan character tiles, why wouldn't I try for a half flush? Why wouldn't I try to get a straight? Abandoning tiles and strategies can actually help open up possibilities. Unless opponents are actively dumping a specific option, it's often more prudent to not rely on a single condition. Especially since the Dora wall, the ten tiles taken out of the game, can hide several of your picks, having more drops is just a raw increase in winning potential. The biggest hand isn't worth anything if someone else gets to the finish line first.

Eventually, I overcame some of this compulsion to hold onto hope until the last critical moment. Instead, I settled on low hands that advanced the game. It's not glorious, but there are four rounds to get that magic set, so let's at least not lose. The problem here is that your precious rank won't be booming, because even with a victory, fewer points mean a smaller climb. It's hard to measure progress this way, but it did successfully get me out of the funk of stubbornly going for bust every time. One of the coolest things about joining the community in playing the game is that we all pretty simultaneously got to the same ranks. We win and lose together. Some lucky streaks later, I busted into 3-star Adept, which I didn't think I'd get to at all. Perhaps that self-doubt was warranted, because I lost that rank some time later. Losing a tier is an incredible gut punch, because Mahjong Soul will not just put you on the lower end of that bar, it will half your points completely and make you earn your place once more. Ironically, the game does not believe in chance.

Fighting my way back required a new tactic. Now, instead of just abandoning a tactic, I would start to plan one approach and think of a backup on the spot. That way, should one method suddenly appear a lot more viable, I could switch more gracefully. Additionally, this fluidity allowed me to unlock one last thing that I was missing, which was a stronger defence. Admittedly, I still try to win too much. If a player had a powerful hand, however, like announcing their win with a Riichi, I'd at least feel like it would be time to eat into my own hand. Unless I'm only a tile or two away from my own victory, there would be no real reason to pursue one. Again, there's no glory in it, but throwing away good tiles that emboldened players have already discarded guarantees that they cannot get a victory. You can't get your winning tile from others if you threw that specific one away yourself. That's called Furiten, which you can only draw yourself, for a Tsumo. Otherwise, stealing victory from an unsuspecting victim is called Ron. I promise you, it sounds a lot more daunting than it actually is. It's just words.

Not only did I get back to three stars, I was now living in the upper echelon of that bar. You need 1000 rank points in an Adept tier to get promoted. I was comfortably in that upper half. Yet, nothing could prepare me for the hell that was about to go down. I went up to over 900 points once and then immediately got booted back down. Then, I was knocking at that door again. The same sobering event occurred. In total, I got to the finish line five times, only to get the biggest beat down in the next game, like clockwork. My will was shattered. No matter what I tried or what I learned, I'd get cornered into a last place. Eventually I lost any motivation and bumped down to 700 points. At this point, I feel like I'm not even learning anymore; I'm just getting my teeth kicked in, so what's the point? Again, the community continuing to talk about their experience is what held my attention, to put in the bare minimum and go do my daily quests. It's one of those games, too. Before I knew it, there I was again, at that fateful moment of truth.

It is possible to play ranked in the starter room as an Adept. The payout is lower, but it is, technically, a lesser risk. So, for those 70-ish last points, I wanted to grind away in the Bronze trenches. I won a game, by a lot, but Mahjong Soul knew me well. There I was, at 997 points, just three short of becoming an Expert. "Beg for it," the jaunty anime waifu seemed to say. Agony; this is pure agony! With how my games have been going, there's no way anything else but instant karma is headed my way. The only thing I can do here is to play so defensively that I don't take any risks.

Unfortunately, there's no way to succeed by turtling up. My next game, I was in the last East round with the least points, again. I wasn't getting stomped, but everyone else left me in the dust. Then, suddenly, the potential winner disconnected. Mahjong Soul can have some connection issues from time, but none have ever been this fortuitous. With no one at the wheel, the AI was sabotaging the absentee's hand, long enough for someone to win off their demise. The game was going to overtime, which are South rounds, where the first to reach 30000 points will win. I was no longer last, but a third spot is still a drop. Our leaver continued to give out freebies through their AI replacement. The main attacking player now popped the second spot below me. There was a chance. My poor nerves hadn't been this shot since being one of the only two left in a solo game of PlayerUnkown's Battlegrounds.

The disconnected player is the real hero in this story. Thanks to their continued involuntary efforts, the momentum shifted to their opponent, who took it all the way to victory. I definitely didn't win, but everyone else lost and that was enough for me to get a few points. I'll take it. After so much suffering, I will claim full credit for this tainted victory. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm now an Expert at mahjong! I have the certificate to prove it. I can only thank Ben and Jan, as well as the community members, for carrying me on their shoulders. Together, we feast. I cannot wait to see the next person join me in the Expert rank. Seeing people stay excited about mahjong, despite the evaporation of streams, is a highlight in my day. We built something here and that, these days, is a beautiful thing. Once again, if you've been reading this far, why not hop into the mahjong thread and start your own journey? I guarantee you will have a good time. You'll be your own expert in no time flat, because if I can do it, anyone can.

This is the Ron!

I have a confession to make: I fucked up. Last time, I mentioned buying old PSP copies to explore the plethora of crappy video games that are out there. As it often happens, my disease for collecting ill-conceived boxes makes me tend to linger on used market websites. I'm a lingerer; I linger. To really illustrate my bad taste, my main goal at the moment is trying to acquire an affordable Nintendo Wii U. For all the talk of people not wanting to own a Wii U anymore, there sure is a complete opposite of people putting a premium price on theirs, also. Alternatively, I've noticed that both my Gameboy Advance and GameCube collection need some serious expansion. All reasons to just see what people are selling these days and at what price.

So, days after my aforementioned acquisition of a random selection of very specific crud, including Tony Hawk's Motion on Nintendo DS, a certain listing caught my attention. The post mentioned "45 PS3 games, including 3D Dot Game Heroes." Normally, I don't really go for lot auctions anymore, because I end up with so many duplicates of games that resell poorly and I always take on releases that aren't interesting, even for me. And I assure you, my standards are really low. However, copies of 3D Dot Game Heroes are impossible to come by around here and I had recently explored the wide library of games that developer FromSoftware made that aren't Dark Souls. It's hard to imagine that they've ever done anything else. So, at the very least, this listing deserved a look.

By some cosmic coincidence, I only owned about four games in the list and it contained a few copies I needed for reference. The lot was pricey, though; rather, too pricey for me in the ongoing pandemic. Yet, if I subtracted the cost of 3D Dot Game Heroes, which can go for almost fifty bones, the others would cost like one or two bucks a pop. Now this lot sounds more like a steal!

You see, this is the sort of twisted thinking my head comes up with to justify my bad habits. I am sick.

Knowing the verminous resellers who crawl used sites, I had to make a snap decision. The auction would sell quickly, as marking up the few notable games makes up for the price, while the rest would be added to the endless inventory any of these dragons sit upon. I decided to approach the seller directly: I agree to the price, can pay immediately and we'll work out the best delivery method. My plan worked, since people enjoy the sound of immediate money, I assume, but now I was on the hook for real. Eating was going to be challenging for the next few weeks. The games would personally get dropped off at my house in a few days. This person was, in fact, extremely accommodating. They really didn't want these PlayStation 3 games anymore. Looking at my full shelves, I can't say they were the ones making poor decisions in this exchange.

The day came and two flimsy bags appeared on my doorstep. One awkward conversation later, I started unloading. My first realization was that I badly want to play 3D Dot Game Heroes, but due diligence would require me to first test several dozen lesser discs. My second realization was much worse in nature. For a brief moment, I lived in a world where I could pop in a disc and start playing. Surely, testing would take an hour, tops, before I could dig in. I didn't exist in our actual hell future, where every disc requires an additional data install of several gigabytes that downloads through a bottlenecked console, with limited hard drive space. In that hour, I tested three games. This run-through was going to be my life for a significant time. This was going to be work.

Did you know that there's no enforced standard to the data install screen? Some will boot after the main menu, some before, some get their own splash screen. Even the general black void with white text is different every time. "Please wait" is an optional request, as they know you're forced to sit there, if you'd like to play video games, ever. The same random dice roll goes for preorder and limited edition bonuses. It's all chaos, but at least I got a PlayStation Home shirt out of it.

One of the first discs I inserted was something that tried my patience the most. With the upcoming remaster of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time incoming, I had taken a spin with the original, only to find that it had aged poorly, quite like publisher Ubisoft in general. I had, however, forgotten that the company already re-released the game in one of the many HD collections of the PS3. After a painstakingly long install, I tried to launch the trilogy, but to no avail. A quick search later revealed that Ubisoft pretty much sold people a broken game. The third iteration, The Two Thrones, just does not work, while the other two titles have way too many bugs and framerate issues to justify the moniker of a remaster. I put in over an hour of effort and I had a shiny coaster to show for it. Let that be a warning for that remake, other Ubisoft issues aside.

Another collection included in my bundle was God of War, which aged equally badly. It's kind of amazing that something as pivotal as God of War, the progenitor for spectacle action games, looks antiquated only a few years later, even when updated. Not only that, but Sony had the audacity to sell these in multiple purchases; one for the main titles and another for the PSP releases. The portable games never looked good, but now it's plain laughable to return to these grainy, angular monstrosities, whose very allure was supposed to be visual splendor. Sony really struck that iron while it was hot, to death. I thought my disdain for the cash grab of HD collections had subsided, but firsthand experience rekindled that once more. Do it right; otherwise, why even do it at all? Here's looking at Super Mario 3D All-Stars.

Speaking of rehashed content, I tested Brutal Legend as well. The intro is some of the weirdest setups in modern games. The camera follows Jack Black walking into a record store, yapping as they do, to pull out a record that goes into the game menu. The rest of the intro, which complains about the fact that there's no good music anymore and the old days were better, I could do without. There's still plenty of great metal being produced. May I recommend Brand of Sacrifice, a Berserk-themed deathcore band? In Brutal Legend's defense, current streaming services and algorithms have made it easier than ever to have good recommendations come to you, for those who keep their mind open to it. Maybe current day Eddie Riggs would only grind their physical axe.

On another note, one of my favorite things to do when acquiring bundles is getting a read on the previous owner. This one in particular was prone to fandom. When they went in on a game, they were down for life. As such, most of the lot consisted of games and their respective sequels. Resistance was a pretty standard trilogy, truly of its time, but I personally never looked into Motorstorm. It's not that I don't enjoy racing games, but they just end up on the lower end of priorities. Therefore, I did manage to discover that the jump from the first to the second release was immense, but the third game was virtually identical to the second. I guess once you nail down the formula, there's much less room for growth. The same rings true for the Uncharted games that were included. Diminishing returns, as a popular saying on the site states.

A franchise that this person also went hard on was Ninja Gaiden. Now, the first modern iteration of Ryu Hayabusa's trials is a seminal experience. Some could say that the real Dark Souls starts here, actually. That third game though... Man, the quality of that series suddenly falls off a cliff. Now I have a better reference for why Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z, which I'm also going through, is quite as embarrassing as it is. Team Ninja was well on their way already. I would love to find out why the games suddenly shifted in style.

The last bundle I received was Mass Effect 2 and 3. I first tried to run the final game in the trilogy. I tried very hard, cleaned both my lens and the disc, but nothing worked. I pulled out the game and took a closer look. Somehow, I had missed that the disc was in shambles. This person hated Mass Effect 3 more than probably any game I've ever owned. In all my 800 games, I've never seen someone put several dents in a copy, along with end-to-end scratches; even tearing both the outer and the inner ring. It's surprising that the disc didn't accidentally shatter in my hands. Nothing could save this poor thing. This is why testing games before storing them is important. Yet, Mass Effect 2 was pristine and ran without a hitch. I couldn't help but laugh. These are my favorite moments of collecting random games. The environmental storytelling that those two copies revealed is more than worth a bum disc. I've seen all I've needed to see out of that franchise from Mass Alex anyway.

Coincidentally, X-Men Origins: Wolverine was amidst the lot. Given my previous post mentioned I played the PlayStation 2 version, this was the perfect opportunity to compare, as one of the developers told me that the two versions were nothing alike. They were right. The PS2 era of ports is rough on many fronts. I'm going through a whole mess of titles for the upcoming 20th anniversary of the PS2, so the addition of the Silent Hill collection was another blessing in disguise. While the mix of Silent Hill 2 and 3 got panned for launching in a terrible state, it allowed me to fill a gap in my playbook. You can't take a look back at PS2 without Silent Hill 2. Two for two; that's just common sense. After playing it for a while, I can safely say that survival horror is a hard genre to get right, but I respect it for trying to be as eccentric and unique as it is. Just like its direct competition, Resident Evil, that first movie is alright. There's always that.

Other tidbits in the gauntlet included Alice: Madness Returns, a peculiar redo of Goldeneye, as well as Midway Arcade Origins, which has Rampart on it, one of my favorite Sega Master System games. It took over ten hours to test every game, much more than anticipated. I completely ran out of shelf space, so all of these boxes are just towering on my desk. After all that, still, I was finally ready to start diving into a new wave. The day after, Genshin Impact released and I haven't played anything else since. I never even touched 3D Dot Game Heroes, the one game I actually wanted out of all of this. I bought 45 games to play one thing and I didn't even do that. If I learned anything out of this, it's that I needed to close the tab of that second hand site, to prevent more damage to my dignity. Don't live like I do. Luckily, Genshin Impact is very good at distracting from any other vices.

With the recent announcement that Sony is discontinuing their webstore for PSP and PS3, this escapade also puts a bookend on my collection, as that's how I kept track of potential additions. Having recently tried to use the PlayStation Store on PS3, to download PSP games, I can attest that no one would ever want to use this method. That is a story in itself. At least, I'll never fall into this trap again, hopefully. Ideally, I need that money for food, since my country seems to have taken the breaks off this whole pandemic thing. Otherwise, bury me with my four copies of Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. Now there's a quality video game.

Hi, there. Where have I been? Long story short: Life bad. In fact, it's so bad that it's best to not dwell on details. So, yeah, there probably won't be any wiki editing happening any time soon. Instead, I can tell you that, in the meantime, I've cataloged my console game collection, which spans over 800 games. A last minute addition of about 30 games came from taking over someone's old PlayStation 3 (PS3) collection, to play The Last of Us. It turns out that The Last of Us is a bad video game. Now I don't feel so bad about not being able to play the sequel.

Playing bad video games sent me on a wild journey that now has my living space filled with stacks of ridiculous crap, like the PlayStation 2 (PS2) ports of WWE All Stars, Disney Pixar's Up and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I completed a Gameboy Advance game for both Cinderella and Barbie, cleaned out my PS2 and gave up on repairing the nightmare that is a Game Gear. Forgive me, I'm rambling. While going through the history of terrible video games, I recently watched Jeff play some Work Time Fun, also known as WTF. In a perfect storm of weird nonsense, I thought I could do much worse than that fever dream and promptly bought a copy of Kazook.

Kazook is, much like WTF, a PSP mini-game collection that gradually opens up as it is played. Equally, there is also a crude, wacky theme in the game. You'd expect no less from the developer who brought us 7 Sins, one of those games that tried to bank off the success of The Sims, by making it more naughty. Considering that game and Playboy: The Mansion have since been forgotten, it's not that hard to assess the quality of that pedigree.

There isn't as much subtlety or even variety in Kazook. Achieving a high score in a mini-game nets a bunch of cash that can be used in the game's shop. Unlike WTF, the only things that can be bought are more games and more skins for dudes with soul patches, as well as women with other prominent visuals. Doing so requires the patience of a mad man, as mini-games aren't balanced and can take dozens of minutes to get anywhere at all. It's sort of like Jeff's WTF chicken sorting, but more laborious, particularly as several of these repetitive games require continuous button mashing. It will hurt to unlock stuff and not just because many of the games are bad versions of Pong or any variation of a shooting gallery, with the same four character models.

Eventually, I managed to get every game in the shop. It was the first time since my childhood that I looked up cheats, because I don't think it's humanly possible to do so legitimately. Unlocking every mini-game is required to access the Party Superstar mode. In this mode, the only crafted experience that isn't a singular event, the player is tasked with saving the world by playing every mini-game. Now, here's the kicker: While Kazook will throw up a prompt to save after literally every action, progress does not save in Party Superstar. To complete this mode that takes an eternity to acquire, you'll need to play an uninterrupted session of unbalanced, mashy nonsense for several hours. Let me reiterate: The mini-games are bad to begin with, so the extended playtime will wear down one's very soul.

Still, because 2020 is a hell year with no redeemable qualities, I sat through every game. Anything else other than reality will do, these days. I shot every jock that hid behind a cheerleader, while making fart sounds. I bleeped every rapper that said a bad word. I threw baseballs at the nuts of every dude who called me a "son of a bee," because the game is rated PEGI 12. It took over two hours to do so and it doesn't seem like the game actually cared how well I did at some events that are just impossible, unless you're D.A.R.Y.L. The reward for completing Party Superstar is, pretty much, the act of going through it and nothing more. Surviving Kazook is the prize.

How am I doing? I 100% completed Kazook, willingly. How is your 2020 going?

It's not all bad, though. I finally bought and beat the PS3 version of Civilization Revolution, a highly underrated entry in the franchise. I also played the fascinating PS3 port of Shadow of Mordor. Finally, I experienced Short Peace: Ranko Tsukigime's Longest Day and thus have a rare addition to one of my favorite projects ever. That's going to have to be a story for better days. Sometimes, video games are still really cool. I hope y'all are playing cool video games out there. Peace out.

Oh, hi there, I'm back. There have been a few hurdles in the way of keeping up the edits, what with my Premium running out and not being able to afford a re-up, which doesn't keep me on the site as long. Luckily, I managed to scrape by some coins for the Giant Bomb Premium sale, which is happening right now, baby. Only a few more days to go, so act fact! I've also been grinding away at Apex Legends and eventually got to level 100 in the Battle Pass, so I'm finally free from that nightmarish, stagnant game. I did it. More importantly, I never have to do it again!

With those things out of the way, I can resume typing some words here and there and I'd like you to take a look at the neat games I focused on this time.

1. Killstreak.tv

The developer of Cosmochoria, one of my favorite tiny games, is involved in publishing this free-to-play game on Steam, so I thought I'd check it out. Killstreak.tv is a pretty tight, minimalistic thing. Players load into a lobby, can only move on the X-axis and then just try to shoot each other with the weapons found on the floor; real quick and easy. There's not much to it, but it's fun, free and you can drop in and out in just a few minutes.

2. One Way Heroics

I tried focusing on personal favorites for a bit and One Way Heroics is definitely up there, due to its unique gameplay loop. It's a bit like Kingsway, but more immediate: Run to the right and never stop going or the darkness will gobble you up. There's also run-based mechanisms added to it, making it a very unique, addictive way of reinventing classic roleplaying game (RPG) gameplay of yore. More people should play this game.

3. Saint Seiya Cosmo Fantasy

If there's one game that can indicate why I haven't written more that isn't Apex Legends, then this Saint Seiya gacha game is it. I've been playing this non-stop on my phone for weeks. I've invested so much attention to collecting my anime husbandos that this is my first 1000 point wiki edit since my return! Obviously, there's a caveat that the game is a lot better if you're a fan of the anime and there's pay-to-win involved, but really that's every gacha game.

Fun fact: My thousand points don't show up, because I added one tiny new page along with the rest of my writing and the wiki glitched out, attributing most of it to something called Minna to Daikoukai Frontier? I have no idea what that is, but if it's anything like Saint Seiya, then it's rad as hell.

I'm literally playing the game right now.

4. Tales of Link

Playing Saint Seiya Cosmo Fantasy led me down the road of other mobile games I wasted time on and it turn out that Bandai Namco makes some cool phone games. Tales of Link played more like Puzzle & Dragons, but it's the same gacha goodness for those animu babies. Usually, I like to spend a few minutes with the game to get reacquainted, but this one was, sadly, sunsetted last year, so I had to keep it brief. It's still an interesting point in time and a telltale sign for the quality of phone games, given that stereotype remains to this day. Tales of Link was cool.

Hopefully, now that I'm out of the Apex hole, I'll have a bit more time to dedicate to games that aren't awful, so that could be my next wiki goal. I've got a few things lined up, since I redeemed a bunch of Humble Monthly games and there have been some crazy sales happening lately, such as the Epic Games Store #MegaSale. We'll just need to wait for the pull of androgynous anime cuties to die down a little. I may or may not be still playing Saint Seiya right now.

For years, my Giant Bomb account was inaccessible to me. I could either not log in or it spat me out to a duplicate account that the switch from Whiskey Media forced me to create. The most important reason for me to finally kick my anxiety aside long enough to bother Rorie to see about fixing it, after years and years of waiting, was that I enjoyed filling out Wiki entries for games other people didn't want to bother doing. My precious points were on the line!

Today marks the day I can announce my triumphant successful functional return to Wiki edits. I've crossed the barrier of 5000 points, which I believe allows me to enter even more obscure data, without having to go through checks. So, here's a look at the hours I've been fiddling away with words, trying to collect data about obscure games about three people will ever look up. At least, whenever the edits weren't just for my own pleasure, of course.

Here are some of the games I've immortalized on VideoGames.com these last few weeks:

1. Slayer Shock

Do you want to relive Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but with more of the stealth action loop of old Thief games? This mission-based game, made by the creator of the excellent Eldritch, is the game for you. It goes as far as splitting its loops in episodes and seasons. This was sort of the catalyst for returning to entries, as I'd seen the creator David Pittman bemoan on Twitter that this game never took off, despite being a pet project. I tried it; it's alright. That's a glowing recommendation if there ever was one.

2. Foto Flash

Weirdly enough, this is a game I haven't played yet. Rather, it sits installed in my Steam folder for ages now, because it looks exactly like the sort of game I'd be interested in checking out. I already know everything there is to know about the game. An RPG Maker-looking game that has an interesting story loop and is more condensed as a gameplay experience, without it just becoming a visual novel instead? Not since Always Sometimes Monsters have I been this intrigued. Plus it's super sexy, since the game is about taking naughty pictures, so that's probably something you'd like to keep a close eye on.

3. Pandemic Express

A game currently in full development, with a closed Alpha and a few playtests out there that you might want to see about hopping into, Pandemic is the Zombie Mode in PUBG turned into a full-fledged game. Additionally, the game's aesthetic strikes a neat balance between eerie and cutesy. Publisher tinyBuild is handling this one, which some might consider pedigree. I really think this game could turn out to be something a lot of people could enjoy, but it has limited time to get there and I can't currently recommend it, since it doesn't have custom controls. My hecking left hands have to make pretzels to play it. Hey, developers: In our current year, release your public builds with custom controls as a standard. Thanks.

Fun fact: I wasn't actually awarded my 300+ Wiki points for this one, since the lump got approved along with adding one 2-point addition. This is why crossing that 5000 points barrier is important.

4. Ultra Space Battle Brawl

What if Pong was also kinda Street Fighter II? This is an arcade game that grabs a lot of material from inspired video games and smashes them up. Get it? Smash? It's a thing. The game turned out okay. It's a tiny game, but its elements of 1v1 fights and Ultra attacks is pretty sound and the pixel art is crisp and colorful. There might even be a bit of Windjammers in there.

5. RADICAL HEIGHTS

If I never do another Wiki edit in my life, let this be my masterpiece. This was the one I put the most effort and love into. I love Radical Heights and it was my Game of the Year (GOTY) 2018, which got robbed of its points in the Community voting! I could never live that down, without at least trying to restore some glory to this perfectly schlock-y battle royale.

I love Radical Heights. I live Radical Heights!

Bring back Radical Heights!

These weren't necessarily the only Wiki edits I've done recently, just the largest ones. I've added a few bits and pieces, but also stopped myself a few times, as I could see the copy editor in me creep up again. Bear with me as I try to improve in my editing skills, in terms of formatting and whatnot. I'll try not to go slap people on the wrist for 'doing it wrong'. The important part is having fun and enjoying our time together? Something like that.

Until next time, internet preservationists.

...Play Radical Heights.