Things In Dark Souls That Have Killed Me So Far

All in the title. Dark Souls is a mean old meanie mistress of meanness.

List items

  • 90% of the enemies are zombies, so this is a given.

  • Don't go downwards at the shrine first.

  • In several different flavors, even. Best of all, they're not even real dragons, just weaker "drakes". The real ones show up later. Fantastic.

  • I tried rolling under his legs. Not the best strategy it turns out.

  • Really not looking forward to the Hitchcock Demon.

  • Nothing like thinking you're safely out of view of the archers. Turns out it's not easy to judge line of sight in a third-person system.

  • So often.

  • Who gave the zombies molotovs?

  • Yay. I was a meter away from the bonfire when it killed me too. Deliberate game is deliberate.

  • Content to hide in tiny, unfurnished rooms until someone passes for their whole lives. Well, when you're undead, you have to make your own fun.

  • They didn't bust through the window, but they still end up eating my face with an alarming frequency.

  • The red-cloaked guys. The fancy ones with the rapiers that like to riposte you, those are the bad ones.

  • Sauron-ass motherfuckers are not worth trifling with. They'll get theirs when I'm higher level. I'll be breezing through and getting petty revenge kills.

  • I'm guessing a fair number of people got killed by the Bell Gargoyles. I actually only died once, and that was after getting knocked off the roof.

  • It was hiding in a barrel! A barrel! How did it get in the barrel? It's giant!

  • These guys like to hump your head to death. Must've gotten that protip from the ReDeads in Zelda. Not even the most humiliating way I've died either.

  • Those things in the forest. Try not to wake them up. If you wake one up, when fighting it, don't back away towards another one and wake that up too.

  • Not my finest moment.

  • Again, I didn't see it too clearly, but I think I got blatted from behind by this dude as I was dropping down a tree. Shiitake happens, I guess.

  • They're pretty harmless, except when they drop on your head and dissolve you like they are apparently able to do. Where's Steve McQueen when you need him?

  • Blighttown is not a happy place.

  • Defying all expectations once again, in Dark Souls lava will kill you if you stand in it.

  • I am okay with this because I think the bosses have died more often to the fickle whims of the game's coding than I have.

  • Hey, I was in a forest, and the guy was half-invisible. I figure it's a Predator. If it falls off cliffs because of glitchy AI, we can kill it.

  • It was some dude in a dress, near where the Predator was. For men of the cloth, they sure were fierce with those soul arrows.