Balding gracefully

While I'm still in possession of a fair amount of hair, it is thinning and that hairline keeps creeping back little by little. Damned genetics! It seems my paternal genes didn't make the cut, that grandfather had a full head of hair for ninety-three years. I have long hair and refuse to be one of those balding dudes with long hair. So it has to go, thankfully it is far longer than needed to donate to Locks of Love or a similar organization. Some good can come of this before it gets too thin.

Unfortunately I also have a somewhat unsightly birthmark on my scalp which will be difficult to conceal without something resembling a comb-over. That is not going to happen. So I'm looking for advice from other balding mid-thirty-ish guys about whether regularly wearing head wear is acceptable, hats, caps, skullcaps, do rags, etc. Or if I should just bear my blemish and future baldness with an unapologetic attitude on most days.

I'll still wear my bush hat or rain hat when I'm out hiking and camping but that is just utilitarian. Were I was still in my twenties I could probably pull off such accessories but now that I'm in my thirties it may just look sad. Any advice from fellow follicly challenged users?

I'm not balding, but I definitely have thin spots that strongly hint at future balding, and I plan to just Vinny that shit. Own that baldness.

Be thankful you just have a receding hairline rather than having it all fallout all over the top of your head at once. I've been buzzing all my hair with no guard for years now because of it. One day I'll probably have to shave it for real with a razor, but I'm putting that off. It's a lot of work.

As far as hats go I only wear them when I need to keep the top of my head from sunburning. But I think if you're one of those guys like Ron Howard that is never seen without a hat it gets a little ridiculous. It draws more attention to it. Everyone just thinks "Hey, who do you think you're fooling? We know what's going on under there."

As a man who started going bald at 18, I have some experience on the subject. Rule number one of balding: Once it's started, your days of letting your hair grow beyond an inch are over. There is no reality in which long hair and baldness go together. Headwear is a good idea, and I usually wear some kind of hat when going out, sixpence is my current favourite. Sad truth is though, once you go bald, there is nothing cool that can be done with your hair, and wearing hats is only hiding your shame. Sometimes I dream that I'm able to wear a mohawk, and when I wake up, I am horribly depressed.

@wordfalling: If you have a birthmark, you could just wear it proudly. Like Gorbachev.

Whatever you do, don't become one of those guys who keeps whatever little scrap of hair they have left. When it gets fairly noticeable, shave it all off.

There is nothing graceful in loosing your manhood.

Dreadlocks are the cure.

I'm keeping mine till I can't anymore (genetics, bummer).

Grow a great enough beard to draw their eyes away from the birthmark.
 
edit: Fuck society. There's nothing wrong with going bald. I'd bet there's something worse in your genetic makeup than baldness. You know, things that are actually negative such as being prone to heart disease or Alzheimer's.

Cut it all off and rock that birthmark like a villain.

And if you in fact aren't a villain, you'll just end up coming across as deep and mysterious.

Ordinarily I'd just say shave your head, but if you're sensitive about your birthmark that could not be an option.

You can't wear hats all the time either, it just looks dumb.

Maybe consider looking into treatment options? My understanding is that beginning various male pattern baldness treatments early on can be quite effective.

@ShaggE: Yep, seeing Vinny's progression makes that seem the correct course. Though I think I have a couple more years before I reach his level.

@McGhee: Yeah, it isn't coming out in clumps but after every time I wash my hair the floor of my shower is rather carpeted. I've no intention of hiding the fact that I'm going bald, it is just the birthmark I wish to disguise. If it were a Gorbachev splotch I'd be quite pleased but it is more of a scar. But from friends who do Bic their heads, invest in a quality razor for that purpose, they aren't very expensive.

The more hair you lose the more head you get. Balding with a ponytail like a true baller. My ska band is on at 9!

@ShaggE: Yep, seeing Vinny's progression makes that seem the correct course. Though I think I have a couple more years before I reach his level.

@McGhee: Yeah, it isn't coming out in clumps but after every time I wash my hair the floor of my shower is rather carpeted. I've no intention of hiding the fact that I'm going bald, it is just the birthmark I wish to disguise. If it were a Gorbachev splotch I'd be quite pleased but it is more of a scar. But from friends who do Bic their heads, invest in a quality razor for that purpose, they aren't very expensive.

As for myself, not yet, but if it happens I'm shaving that shit. There's nothing that looks quite so bad as a combover.

The only acceptable surgery option would be to permanently disable the follicles on the sides so you don't have to keep shaving your head every few days for the rest of your life. I'm with Larry David when it comes to balds.

@Draugen: It started recently, so as I said, my long hair will be gone in short order and donated to someone with cancer for a wig. With my hair at about 14" I could totally rock a mohawk but I'm too old for that now, maybe a decade ago.

@Hailinel: If only I could, it is sadly rather unpleasant but I'm increasingly leaning in that direction.

@Chop: Not a chance, Donald Trump should be the poster boy for why comb overs are bad.

@Dany: Okay, you can go all Samson with this but it isn't like my balls are falling off because I'm loosing some hair.

@MrKlorox: Genetics also limited my body hair, a beard would be a perfect solution but it is not feasible.

@Tim_the_Corsair: I'm not at the shaving point yet and as for treatment... I'm not so desperate to keep my locks as to spend a great deal of money. Plus I've seen low-rate plugs, they look worse than my odd scarring. But you are right, wearing hats all the time is, I wouldn't say dumb, but unbecoming. Plus impolite.

@Tim_the_Corsair: Yep, I've just not had a chance to talk to my barber to see if he participates in Locks of Love. Hopefully getting it buzzed will slow the loss.

GROW A GIANT BEARD.
 
Migrate that hair, yo.

@MrKlorox: Hah, I'm not going that far yet, I've still got enough left for a while yet.

@TheDudeOfGaming: The last thing I'd had is a comb-over. I swear that the one of the world's comic gold is a nouveau riche douchebag in a BMW or Merc convertible with his comb-over flapping in the wind.

@Xeiphyer: If the right side of my facial hair grew as well as the left side I would be all for that!

I bet you could have some very minor cosmetic work done to smooth out your scar. I don't have any idea what your scar looks like, so I can't say they look fine.

Scars are like tattoos, in a way. They are supposed to be permanent, but with scars, you didn't get to choose the design beforehand. (unless you are one of the people that are into branding or something)

Maybe get a tattoo that says something funny about your scar.... ok, not really.

Edit. I donated my hair to Wigs for Kidseven though they required longer donations than LoL.

Look at this guy, now look at your receding hairline, now back at this guy, back at your receding hairline. Yeah... own that baldness with an unapologetic attitude.

As someone who has thick hair and need a hair cut every 2 weeks, I participated in locks of love with my brother. We have crazy ass thick hair and girls have expressed how jealous they were when they saw my long hair. I don't grow it out. I actually hope it thins out on its own one day, now I use those special scissors on it to thin it out. Hope it looks like Anderson Cooper's hair one day. But something to make you feel better...

Don't be like Lebron...

@Six: I've never even considered a tattoo, always felt that there's nothing I can live with forever. Ah well, I have a sizable scar on my face as well, the one on the top of my head will be less noticeable.

Depending on what colour your hair is and just how unsightly that birthmark is ( are we talking Gorbachev style or worse? ) I'd go with a number 1 or 2 shaving. You can get a decent set of clippers from most department stores for under 40 bucks and do it yourself. I do. I'll tell ya... as someone who had really long hair when he started to lose a few it's shocking to all of a sudden go to nothing... but it's awesome to hop out of the shower and use a towel to both dry and style my hair.

That works for me because my hair is black. If you're of a fairer folicular pigmentation you may have to play it by ear. At least having a number 1 or 2 will help to hide your Gorbachev scalp stain.

@TheHBK: Hah, I won't be like Lebron but is Locks of Love a reputable organization? I've heard negative things about similar organizations, them selling donated hair rather than just donating it.

@wordfalling said:

@TheHBK: Hah, I won't be like Lebron but is Locks of Love a reputable organization? I've heard negative things about similar organizations, them selling donated hair rather than just donating it.

Depends on where you hear it from, but yes, they are a good organization. They get criticized for selling some of the hair, but they actually sell hair that would not be used in donated wigs, it can be too short, or dyed, or just crappy hair. They sell that hair for other kinds of wigs to be able to pay for the costs of keeping the whole thing going since they are non profit.

I have half a head of hair and wear it long. I just recently cut it, but it's still pretty long. I started losing my hair around 22. Here's some older pics. The first one was when my hair was real long, the second was a play I was in called Oedipus The King.
 

Own it.

Groom a constant five-o'clock shadow, wear more collared button-ups, and you'll be dapper as all get-out.

I can't speak from personal experience, but I've got a buddy who started balding at twenty-five. He took it proper hardcore and he's the man.

@SockemJetpack: My hair is a medium to dark brown. The birthmark is not at all like Gorbachev's, no red splotch, it is more like a lumpy but not smooth scar, slightly reddish. Yep, I was planning on heading to a department store to pick up a pair of clippers after the barber did the main cut. There are rules about that when donating hair apparently.

@TheHBK: Good to know, thanks. That's who I'll likely go with.

@wordfalling: Best of luck my fellow folically challenged balding buddy. If you're ever asked where it came from just say "I'd rather not talk about it" then push your glasses up the bridge of your nose slightly with your middle finger. If you don't have glasses then look into the distance and furrow your brow.

Boom! You just turned a perceived flaw into an interesting character trait.

By the way good on ya for wanting to donate. I got mine cut on my lunch break so I could freak my coworkers out when I came back. You're a better man than I.

Become a misanthropic prick, and create a television show starring you, and make lots of money.

@mlarrabee: I can't rock any sort of dapper suave look. I used to care but now I largely stick to jeans, military style sweaters and use my double-edge safety razor to shave so close you can't feel a bit of stubble.

My brother can do the five-o-clock shadow look and he also turned prematurely gray, the lucky bastard.

@SockemJetpack: Was it that obvious that I wear glasses? Perhaps (hopefully) it is just your understanding of the demographics of this site.

@PrivateIronTFU: I have the misanthropic thing down but converting that into making money from a TV show is lost on me. Probably a cultural reference that's gone over my head.

I look like Vinny many people say, unfortinatly my hairline does too.

@Pr1mus: You know, that is probably the best reminder that it ain't all bad. I still can't deal with seeing him when he had hair though.

@wordfalling said:

@Draugen: It started recently, so as I said, my long hair will be gone in short order and donated to someone with cancer for a wig. With my hair at about 14" I could totally rock a mohawk but I'm too old for that now, maybe a decade ago.

I don't really want to wear it either. But trust me, in a few years, you'll wish you at least had the option. :)

@Claude: That second picture is fantastic though you seem a lot less blood soaked in comparison to the other Oedipus plays I've seen. I would've liked to see a performance since it looks pretty cool (I'm a student of the Classics, go figure.)

Anyway, first thing I thought of when I saw this thread ways Claude so I guess that's appropriate. Anyway, at your age I think a receding hairline for some isn't out of the ordinary and a birthmark isn't something to worry about (hell, Gorbachev had one). Instead why don't concentrate on other features of yours? You can still wear hats like a flatcap or a bowler hat which goes well with almost any hairstyle or lack thereof.

@whyareyoucrouchingspock said:

Being bald is awsome. You are not fucking John Merrick eating prunes and begging to lay on your back if you begin to bald. Far worse problems in the world and if you are ugly irl, being bald doesn't really matter as you wont get woman. If you are not ugly irl, you will get woman who are not shallow cows. It's win win.

^ What the actual fuck.

@Claude said:

I have half a head of hair and wear it long. I just recently cut it, but it's still pretty long. I started losing my hair around 22. Here's some older pics. The first one was when my hair was real long, the second was a play I was in called Oedipus The King.

That second pic. What a BAMF.

@wordfalling said:

While I'm still in possession of a fair amount of hair, it is thinning and that hairline keeps creeping back little by little. Damned genetics! It seems my paternal genes didn't make the cut, that grandfather had a full head of hair for ninety-three years. I have long hair and refuse to be one of those balding dudes with long hair. So it has to go, thankfully it is far longer than needed to donate to Locks of Love or a similar organization. Some good can come of this before it gets too thin.

Unfortunately I also have a somewhat unsightly birthmark on my scalp which will be difficult to conceal without something resembling a comb-over. That is not going to happen. So I'm looking for advice from other balding mid-thirty-ish guys about whether regularly wearing head wear is acceptable, hats, caps, skullcaps, do rags, etc. Or if I should just bear my blemish and future baldness with an unapologetic attitude on most days.

I'll still wear my bush hat or rain hat when I'm out hiking and camping but that is just utilitarian. Were I was still in my twenties I could probably pull off such accessories but now that I'm in my thirties it may just look sad. Any advice from fellow follicly challenged users?

Can't they shave off your back hair and transplant it onto your scalp? There's always cosmetic surgery...if you have the money/vanity for it.

i make up for my receding hair line with a thick full beard that i oil frequently a la aaron in psalm 133.

@whyareyoucrouchingspock:

Anyone ever try Rogaine?

Just copy Vinny & others going with the really short military cut & go for the elegant/awesome beard and/or mustache instead.

Walter White and Max Payne don't count because they still have their hairlines. They're just posers. 
 
I actually lost what respect I had for Rockstar's decision to embalden Max Payne when they made it clear that he merely shaved it off. Come on Dan Houser, show your own kind some respect and don't cave into the teens who went all "old man" in the early comments.
 
@wordfalling said:

@Xeiphyer: If the right side of my facial hair grew as well as the left side I would be all for that!