Wanna see a horrible review?

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#1 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
#2 Posted by Red (5994 posts) -

 
 "Blob's aesthetics remain inferior to Wii's 2D powerhouse, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, but even so, the graphics impress"   
 "...famous programmer David Crane, the brainchild of the Pitfall series..."  
 
Oh Matt Casamassina, when will you realize no one likes you?   

#3 Posted by TheMustacheHero (6655 posts) -

...?

#4 Edited by Creamypies (4044 posts) -
#5 Posted by addictedtopinescent (3645 posts) -

I CLICKY`D

#6 Posted by eroticfishcake (7782 posts) -
@addictedtopinescent said:
" I CLICKY`D "
And I died a little more inside.
#7 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -

Im sorry people.... I had to point it out!

#8 Posted by eroticfishcake (7782 posts) -
@demontium: What a morbid fascination you have.
#9 Posted by Diamond (8634 posts) -
@Red said:
"...famous programmer David Crane, the brainchild of the Pitfall series..."   Oh Matt Casamassina, when will you realize no one likes you?
What's the problem here exactly?
#10 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@eroticfishcake: in all seriousnees, why does he make the game out to be so good, and then rate it soooooo low?  
 
also, the game according to better reviewers, this game is in the AA-AAA range, but matt probably did not finish.
#11 Posted by bonbolapti (1596 posts) -

@demontium:
because we should have all learned to ignore what a game is rated by now :P

#12 Posted by Black_Rose (7785 posts) -
@Red said:
"   "Blob's aesthetics remain inferior to Wii's 2D powerhouse, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, but even so, the graphics impress"    "...famous programmer David Crane, the brainchild of the Pitfall series..."   Oh Matt Casamassina, when will you realize no one likes you?    "
I think he's a great reviewer.
#13 Posted by eroticfishcake (7782 posts) -
@demontium said:
" @eroticfishcake: in all seriousnees, why does he make the game out to be so good, and then rate it soooooo low?   also, the game according to better reviewers, this game is in the AA-AAA range, but matt probably did not finish. "
@bonbolapti said:
"

@demontium:
because we should have all learned to ignore what a game is rated by now :P

"
I wish I could tell you demo. As bon said, ratings seem pretty pointless at this stage.
#14 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@eroticfishcake: good job.
#15 Posted by noriegga (39 posts) -

I hope it is good, though. They had me at blob-mech

#16 Posted by Godwind (2597 posts) -
@Black_Rose said:
" @Red said:
"   "Blob's aesthetics remain inferior to Wii's 2D powerhouse, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, but even so, the graphics impress"    "...famous programmer David Crane, the brainchild of the Pitfall series..."   Oh Matt Casamassina, when will you realize no one likes you?    "
I think he's a great reviewer. "
 
I felt burned by his review of The Conduit.  I've enjoyed bad games but that one just takes the cake.  I feel IGN sacrifices quality for a large quantity of reviews.
#17 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -

Its still not that far away from an 8, and while getting less than an 8 hurts games geared at the hardcore, I can see this selling to the casual fan as well. I have a feeling I'll enjoy the game regardless of IGNs rating, because it's made by Wayforward, and I haven't played a game from them that I haven't liked yet.

#18 Edited by teh_pwnzorer (1482 posts) -
@demontium said:

" CLICKY CLICKY CLICKY "

In the past, I read only reviews of truly horrible games--and I did so for laughs.  Reviews are utterly worthless, if a demo or a pirated version is available: I don't need to be told what to think when it's right there before me.  Internet reviewers are usually random journalism graduates with a tinge of schizophrenia.
#19 Edited by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -

Holy crap that's a bad review.  Don't they teach you in elementary school not to start a sentence with 'And?'
 
I think he also forgot how periods and commas work, he's using each for the other one's purpose.
 
So sad that people who write like this manage to get into the industry instead of people who write with at least a basic understanding of grammar and punctuation.

#20 Posted by JJOR64 (18882 posts) -

 My faith in IGN has gone down.
#21 Posted by jkz (3999 posts) -

That.....is frightening. Even if that was a damn forum post, it would get ripped apart...jesus

#22 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -

What's also disappointing to me is the comments for the review.  At least at 1up, aside from your opinions about the site in general, the comments are always being analytical of the review itself along with the game.  That's a good thing imo, it keeps the staff in check about the quality of their content.
 
Not here, nothing, like this is what they are used to and don't really care.

#23 Posted by TheHT (10796 posts) -

i don't see what's wrong with it. it told me about the game and the reviewer's opinion on the game.
 
did you disagree with it? is that why it's 'horrible'?

#24 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -

I don't disagree or agree with it cause I haven't played the game.  It's just a horribly horribly HORRIBLY written review.
 
You don't get paid to write reviews just because you have an opinion, you get paid because you know how to write well when you state that opinion for everyone to read.

#25 Posted by Kr3lian (310 posts) -

That review wasn't poorly written at all.  Now hmmm, why might there be all of these histrionics?
 
@demontium said:

" @eroticfishcake: in all seriousnees, why does he make the game out to be so good, and then rate it soooooo low?   also, the game according to better reviewers, this game is in the AA-AAA range, but matt probably did not finish. "

Ah yes. Complaining about a review score for a game we haven't played.  Maturity at its finest, folks.
#26 Posted by bonbolapti (1596 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb:
You go ahead write a review for the game, we'll compare the two. IF yours is better than Matt's We'll ask ign to give you a cheque. :)
#27 Posted by Kr3lian (310 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb said:
" Holy crap that's a bad review.  Don't they teach you in elementary school not to start a sentence with 'And?'   I think he also forgot what a comma does and what a period does backwards.  So sad that people who write like this manage to get into the industry instead of people who write with at least a basic understanding of grammar and punctuation. "
Wait a second.  This post was supposed to be ironic, right?
#28 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -

I'm not defending myself over a review that bad.  Attack me all you want, but you take that to any editor and they would tear it apart. 

#29 Posted by carlthenimrod (1586 posts) -

Stop crying over reviews. It's getting old.

#30 Posted by Kr3lian (310 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb: Except for the editor at IGN.
 
What are your credentials, by the way?  And no, your recent 9th grade english class doesn't count :)
 
So what is your beef with the review, by the way?  Give a specific example.
#31 Posted by bonbolapti (1596 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb:
you'll never know unless you try.  
It's nothing against you btw, but I am under the impression that there's some sort of trend when if comes to people being paid to review games, and people that aren't.  
The review in question here is actually pretty good, but not to some, obviously. 
So why all the fuss? 
#32 Posted by Andorski (5173 posts) -

"The developer hasn't really mucked around with the story, which remains as whimsically flimsy as ever. "
 
"The game starts off strong with a gorgeous hand-drawn animation sequence, but the story never really goes anywhere after that, which is disappointing."
 
"... you will definitely notice repeating texture patterns and some common designs, but the art is strong and as a result you probably won't mind."
 
"Blob's aesthetics remain inferior to Wii's 2D powerhouse, Muramasa: The Demon Blade, but even so, the graphics impress."
 
"There are 40 [treasures] of them in total, which is considerable -- the only caveat is that most of the missions can be bested in a matter of minutes."
 
"The presentation is scratched by a series of load times, which truly do break the momentum of the game. There are stage loads, which last five seconds or more, but worse, there are also mid-level loads when the boy and blob enter new rooms or areas. These pauses interrupt the pacing of the experience and remind us that the world is not connected, but rather a series of loaded stages -- a disappointment."
 
"Blob's control scheme works once you get used to it, but it's overly complex and as a result never really feels as intuitive as it might've been. The seemingly quick and simple process of transforming the blob stretches on because there are multiple bloated steps."
 
------------------------------------------
 
Since he gave it a good score, I don't see any problems with the review disagreeing with it's numerical rating.  I guess you can point out grammatical problems in his writing style, but that is getting pretty nit-picky considering how widespread incorrect english is used in all forms of today's writing.

#33 Posted by carlthenimrod (1586 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb said:

" Holy crap that's a bad review.  Don't they teach you in elementary school not to start a sentence with 'And?'   I think he also forgot how periods and commas work, he's using each for the other one's purpose.  So sad that people who write like this manage to get into the industry instead of people who write with at least a basic understanding of grammar and punctuation. "

FYI, you can totally start a sentence with 'And'.
#34 Posted by Kr3lian (310 posts) -

And while we are discussing starting sentences with conjunctions, allow me to direct you to Jeff Gerstmann's review of Katamari Forever.  Because if you are going to complain that much about starting sentences with conjunctions, you must also hate Jeff's writing.  Or are a douchebag.  Hehe, this is fun :)

#35 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -

I'll be honest, I don't have any credentials.  I'm a junior, journalism major in college.  I know I'm not the best writer, but I at least do know how to read something and tell if it's riddled with issues that disrupt the flow and make the whole thing sound off, which were all throughout Casamassina's review.
 
An example?  How about from the first paragraph.
 "The game's unique protagonists were charming and nurtured a complex symbiotic relationship -- the jiggly alien needed the boy's help to save his home planet, but the child couldn't do it without the many useful tools that the blob himself was able to change into -- that some players really enjoyed. Some 20 years later, developer WayForward Technologies has created a full-blown re-imagining of the title. Brand new levels. All new gameplay mechanics. And a similar 2D presentation, painstakingly realized with fluid hand-drawn art and animation. "
 
1. That first sentence needed to be two sentences, that overlong interjection between the hyphens throws off what the sentence was talking about in the first place.  Not to mention it's unnecessary since he wasn't talking about the game he's reviewing, but the original game it was based off of.
2. After that, he uses sentence fragments twice in a row, and then starts the next sentence with "And," which is a big no-no that can only really be used by fiction writers to write in a character's voice.
 
Yes I know i'm not the authority on everything writing, you don't need to tell me.  But those are pretty basic things that along with being badly written, just sound bad when read.

#36 Posted by cmpLtNOOb (190 posts) -
@carlthenimrod: That link said you can start a sentence with a conjunction, but said its still seen as unprofessional and then just gave ways to not do it. 
#37 Posted by teh_pwnzorer (1482 posts) -
@Kr3lian said:
" And while we are discussing starting sentences with conjunctions, allow me to direct you to Jeff Gerstmann's review of Katamari Forever.  Because if you are going to complain that much about starting sentences with conjunctions, you must also hate Jeff's writing.  Or are a douchebag.  Hehe, this is fun :) "
I hate the Giant Bombcast.  They sound *like* high school kids.  "Like" does serve *a* purpose, but not *every* purpose.
#38 Posted by govermentcheese (249 posts) -

Yeah I agree its his review . They were comming down on me for a review i did to cant figure out why.I did a review on the new wolfenstein.Anyway take care and dont worry about it . It will all fade with time.

#39 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@AgentJ said:
" Its still not that far away from an 8, and while getting less than an 8 hurts games geared at the hardcore, I can see this selling to the casual fan as well. I have a feeling I'll enjoy the game regardless of IGNs rating, because it's made by Wayforward, and I haven't played a game from them that I haven't liked yet. "
You are sooooo Wayforward's bitch right now   ^-^
#40 Posted by carlthenimrod (1586 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb said:

" @carlthenimrod: That link said you can start a sentence with a conjunction, but said its still seen as unprofessional and then just gave ways to not do it.  "

No, it doesn't say that. It says: "Many business people think starting a sentence with a conjunction is unprofessional. And, you may still believe that too."
 
Only some people see it as unprofessional when most don't. Here's another link.
 
Notice this part:  " Using conjuncts to begin sentences is common amongst respected authors and professional writers. It is also a laudable on-line writing convention."
#41 Posted by AgentJ (8778 posts) -
@oldschool said:
" @AgentJ said:
" Its still not that far away from an 8, and while getting less than an 8 hurts games geared at the hardcore, I can see this selling to the casual fan as well. I have a feeling I'll enjoy the game regardless of IGNs rating, because it's made by Wayforward, and I haven't played a game from them that I haven't liked yet. "
You are sooooo Wayforward's bitch right now   ^-^ "
Damn straight I am!
#42 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@AgentJ said:
" @oldschool said:
" @AgentJ said:
" Its still not that far away from an 8, and while getting less than an 8 hurts games geared at the hardcore, I can see this selling to the casual fan as well. I have a feeling I'll enjoy the game regardless of IGNs rating, because it's made by Wayforward, and I haven't played a game from them that I haven't liked yet. "
You are sooooo Wayforward's bitch right now   ^-^ "
Damn straight I am! "
Mmmm, straight isn't a word I would use  :-) 
 
Bring on Shantae!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#43 Posted by Kr3lian (310 posts) -
@cmpLtNOOb: Ok, so you also hate the Giantbomb writers.  Which videogame writers/reviewers DO you like?
#44 Posted by Seedofpower (3925 posts) -

Well, this was a waste of time. I didn't see anything wrong with the review.

#45 Posted by oldschool (7264 posts) -
@demontium said:
" Im sorry people.... I had to point it out! "
No need for any apology.  Apparently you have a view and despite what others may think and yell, you may very well be right.  I haven't seen the credentials of the others to criticise your position.
#46 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@oldschool: eh, I think they were shouting sarcasm, because most of them agree that Matt is really bad.
#47 Posted by Milkman (16481 posts) -

Complaining about review scores. Never gets old does it?

#48 Posted by demontium (4707 posts) -
@Kr3lian: No, you did not listen to what I said. You just love to criticize review scores. 
 
Listen kid, I was pointing out how his score DOESN'T reflect what he wrote, but obviously you did not read the review. 
 
Look how he says the graphics are some of the best on Wii, and then goes to give the graphics in the 7.0 range. 
 
He raves about the gameplay, and the same thing happens. 
 
He obviously does not know what he was doing. 
 
@carlthenimrod: 
#49 Posted by luce (4045 posts) -

lets check the metacritics score for Matts review

#50 Posted by Snail (8574 posts) -

To see horrible reviews you just have to go here.

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