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Trailer Blazer: E3 2016

Fine. You guys want me to get more invested in E3 ("not really?"), then I'm going to review all the trailers that went up on the site during the event. That's right, I'm smoking the entire carton, for little other reason than to masochistically punish myself for trying to symbolically wash my hands of the whole thing with a Super Famicom JRPG Let's Play (it's over here! Plug plug!).

Actually, I do this largely to credit the hard work Marino did to get all these trailers up on the site for the past few days, and how the lesser known trailers that didn't rise to prominence with showy conference appearances might not get their due. I mean, how many of these could there be...?

(Every trailer review is accompanied with a "Hype Meter" score, because we wouldn't allow Edgework to bust that thing out during the livestreams and somebody might as well use it. I'm also checking to see how many of these games appear to have Grappling Hooks. It was their E3 after all, along with Dads of War and getting high.)

(work in progress!)

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  • Wild Guns was a badass SNES game (even though I keep wanting to type Wild ARMs) but it's odd to see it get the reloaded treatment with new graphics and a four-player mode. There's a lot of SNES games I wish the same thing for, so I can't help but see this is as an exciting precedent.

    Hype Meter: Fairly high. It'd be easier to play it with an analog controller for sure.

    Grappling Hook: Do lassos count?

  • Pokemon Bowtie/Bikini Top looks pretty much the same as all the other DS-and-beyond Pokemon games in this new trailer. I'm sure the differences are significant to proponents of the franchise, but I've yet to see anything that can bring me back into the fold. That said, I did play a lot of Pokemon Picross this year.

    Hype Meter: Low. Rowlett's a boss though.

    Grappling Hook: Not in the trailer, but anything's possible when you have this many Pokemon.

  • Fell off at Star Ocean 3, yet to climb back on board, but in theory I'd be down for any JRPG for the PS4 that rates decently enough. Tri-ace has produced a lot of intriguing games over the years.

    Hype Meter: Moderate. Star Ocean's merging of sci-fi and fantasy tropes has always resulted in games with fascinating premises but mechanically dubious gameplay. SO5 could go either way.

    Grappling Hook: Nope.

  • We got the same Persona 5 trailer during E3 that came out earlier this year, only now subtitled into English. I figured Pepsiman would've got around to it eventually. They're really caking on the style with a trowel this time around.

    Hype Meter: Maxed.

    Grappling Hook: Nothing in the trailer, but a gang of thieves has to have at least one.

  • Considering Nintendo promised nothing but Zelda and more Zelda, they got a lot of stealthy trailers out there to whet the appetites of 3DS and Wii U owners. Ever Oasis strikes me as a very promising RPG hybrid with town-building elements and Zelda style dungeons.

    Hype Meter: Very high. I just hope it's more Dark Cloud than Fantasy Life.

    Grappling Hook: Nothing in the trailer, but there are Zelda gadgets. Maybe in the finished game?

  • Visual Novels, am I right? These are starting to show up everywhere in the West now, but I'm still lost on which ones are worth checking out. I like a good story, though, so we'll see. (This trailer is for the Vita version; the game's already available on Steam.) (Also the song in the trailer was really, remarkably bad.)

    Hype Meter: For a visual novel? Not so high, but that's only because I'm largely unfamiliar with the genre and unsure where to start.

    Grappling Hook: Nope.

  • I like the moxie of this pixel shoot 'em up, as well as how approachable it looks in spite of some of its bullet hell bosses.

    Hype Meter: That said, I rarely go out of my way for shoot 'em ups. As a genre as a whole, I think it attracts a handful of fanatics and repels everyone else with how much skill and memorization is involved.

    Grappling Hook: Didn't see one. Some giant beartraps though.

  • This card-based strategy game's apparently been around a while, but now it's getting a console version for Sony's systems. Those guys have been busy courting all kinds of Indie developers of late, and it's neat that we're getting all these PS4/PSV ports of games that have been looking for a new audience.

    Hype Meter: I like SRPGs, but not so much the card-based stuff, so let's split the difference and say "average amount".

    Grappling Hooks: No hooks, but there is a giant corgi mount. That'll suffice.

  • The guys behind Torchlight are putting together what I think is a top-down action-adventure RPG, but I wasn't able to learn much from this trailer which spent the entire time talking about the grass. Watching this trailer literally was like watching grass grow.

    Hype Meter: It is some nice video game grass.

    Grappling Hook: You mean... grassling... nope, heart's not in this.

  • Is Qurare the next rank up from Rare in collectible card game circles? Either way, this trailer for a card-based RPG plus mini-game collection plus waifu simulator is a nonsensical mish-mash of curiosity.

    Hype Meter: My hype meter is too confused to render a verdict.

    Grappling Hook: I dunno, that trailer had a whole lot of stuff.

  • First I thought this game was about a Jewish priest frog, but then it turns out to be a bunnygirl anime 2D platformer with what appears to be SpaceWhipper elements. Actually, this might be the first overt SpaceWhipper I've seen from E3 this year.

    Hype Meter: You know, it's not low. Underaged, underclothed animes aside.

    Grappling Hook: Nah, just a whole lot of bullets and lingerie.

  • The new SMT game is a continuation of SMT IV for 3DS, with a protagonist that looks a lot like the Demi-Fiend protagonist of SMT III Nocturne. Trailer demonstrates the usual mix of turn-based combat, monster fusion and negotiation and the foreboding apocalyptic plot these games are known for.

    Hype Meter: I respect Shin Megami Tensei more than I enjoy playing it, but never say never.

    Grappling Hook: Didn't see one.

  • In the off-chance you don't know what a Monter Hunter game looks like, this trailer has you covered: giant monsters, tiny anime warriors, pandemonium. The 3DS seems to be getting all the RPGs the Vita usually gets.

    Hype Meter: I've bounced off Monster Hunter too many times. Grinding, farming and chasing bosses around tend to be incidental to the RPG experience for me, not the draw.

    Grappling Hook: Not in the trailer, but I'm sure they're in the full game. How else would you climb the things?

  • "Bony Spirits" and "Fleshy Souls" are the best two names for any not-Pokemon game to have to differentiate their two almost identical versions. Level-5 seems to have found their money-maker at least. No wonder they own a whole soccer stadium.

    Hype Meter: I think these games look great, and I relate to anything with this many puns on a spiritual level, but monster-raising RPGs are low priority for me.

    Grappling Hook: Maybe if it was a cursed grappling hook that grapples the souls of naughty children and pulls them out of their bodies. That's how yokai work, right?

  • As soon as the trailer stated "You've never been to a Mario Party like this" my first response was "a good one?". Turns out they're experimenting with some weird "everyone moves at once" mechanic. I think Giant Bomb's Mario Party Party series is being interpreted by Nintendo's marketing brass as "we gotta hurry this shit up any way possible. That Jeff guy looks like he's about to fall into a coma."

    Hype Meter: Nobody wins.

    Grappling Hook: Not even grappling hooks win.

  • Glad to see they announced the localization of this Yakuza prequel, depicting rivals and friends Kazuma Kiryu and Goro Majima as they were back in the 1980s with all the Space Harrier and OutRun you could want whenever you got tired of feeding yakuza thugs pavement.

    Hype Meter: Burning up like Kazuma Kiryu's heat gauge.

    Grappling Hook: Kazuma and Goro don't sneak into places, they strut in.

  • Hashtag Effie looks more and more nuts every time I see it, and I can't help but remark on how the game's premise - what I can only determine are singer/performers dueting with Vocaloids summoned from a fantasy world - has very little to do with either SMT or FE.

    Hype Meter: I'm so curious about this one. It has the potential to be amazing.

    Grappling Hook: Not unless it's also a microphone.

  • As Dragon Quest VII makes its way to the 3DS to join the rest of its companions on Nintendo handhelds, that leaves VIII as the only one yet to make the transition. I'm happy all these games are available in English finally (or in DQ7's case, available in Europe for the first time), though I also hear this was a giant pain to localize. Now let's get to work localizing that 2011 Rocket Slime sequel.

    Hype Meter: As a JRPG aficionado, I feel like I probably should play all of these eventually. So far I've played three: IV, VIII and IX.

    Grappling Hook: Not in the trailer.

  • The virtual vocalist is back in another rhythm game. Or maybe this is one of the earlier ones remastered. Either way, it's Miku and her robot friends singing another selection of songs while you try to figure out the perfect timing from all the flying symbols.

    Hype Meter: Warning, not what I'm looking for.

    Grappling Hook: No, but you'll be grappling with some hooks.

  • ACE Team's silly boulder game makes a return with new historical figures to torment with grinning spheres of destruction. Looks like more multiplayer options too, with team-ups!

    Hype Meter: Loved the idea of the first, but the tiresome tower defense mechanics put me off. If I can just get this game where it's all balls all the time, I'm down. The new multiplayer might be that.

    Grappling Hook: What? You want to besiege castles the boring way?

  • Paper Mario is a series that has fallen on hard times, I've heard. I didn't get around to Sticker Star but the reports were not great, which is a shame because I like this particular Nintendo side-series a lot. Color Splash has a lot of cool ideas and style, but if the gameplay's not there...

    Hype Meter: This is a wait and see. I've got a few Mario & Luigi RPGs on the back burner still if this doesn't work out.

    Grappling Hook: Paper Mario can probably origami himself into a grappling hook if necessary.

  • It's certainly an exciting trailer for this, the fourteenth King of Fighters. SNK's been working on this series for a while, huh. Is this the first time it's been 3D? I'm afraid I don't follow a lot of KOF stuff.

    Hype Meter: Nah, not a fighter guy. Seems very busy though, which is good?

    Grappling Hook: That wouldn't be very sportsmanlike, but with 50 characters I wouldn't discount it either.

  • I had a code of VFD once. Took a whole lot of antibiotics to bring down that bad boy. The game? Seems like a mix of Etrian Odyssey's customizable RPG team-based dungeon-crawling with Bravely Default's combat and character design. It's the first game in the series to come to the West too, which is why I haven't been paying much attention until now.

    Hype Meter: I like some JRPGs, but I'm spoiled for choice and I've never found the portable format to be ideal for 30+ hour games intended to be played in long sessions.

    Grappling Hook: The classes scrolled by pretty quick, so I didn't see any that might use one.

  • I found DBZ spectacularly stupid even as a teenager (though I liked the original Dragon Ball) and so none of these lore-rich anime brawler/fighters have ever appealed to me. I'm also sad that we probably won't get to see a Vinny/Austin QL of this that continues the adventures of Pinto Bean, the only Saiyan less competent than Nappa.

    Hype Meter: It's not over 9000. It's not over 9, even.

    Grappling Hook: Like a kamehamehook? Afraid not.

  • An attractive and atmospheric RPG that signifies Square-Enix's desire to re-visit the games of the 16-bit/32-bit era that endeared the studio to so many and rose them to prominence. There's a lot of hopes riding on this one, so I'm wishing it's as good as it looks.

    Hype Meter: Very high. I so want this to be great.

    Grappling Hook: Not that I could see.

  • Sneaky old Nintendo put out a trailer for this Rhythm Heaven compilation - including tracks/mini-games from the Japan-only Rhythm Tengoku and some new ones - and then announced its simultaneous release on the same day. I wonder how many game journalists at E3 besides Jeff just wanted to quit the event and go home to play it?

    Hype Meter: Love the creativity and humor, but the exacting nature of these games makes them too stressful.

    Grappling Hook: Not in the trailer.

  • Man, how happy am I that the first Psychonauts game in six years is going to be VR only? Not very. It was fun to watch this nine minute gameplay trailer and see the old gang back together, though it feels like some of the wit of the original is missing. Like how using clairvoyance would give you funny interpretations of how others view Raz, though I sort of like that you can communicate with people when you're inside their heads too. Either way, it's not likely I'll play this, but I'm almost certainly playing the actual sequel.

    Hype Meter: It's gotten me hyped for more Psychonauts in the near future.

    Grappling Hook: For psychics with telekinesis, no big need.

  • Haven't had the chance to play Jotun yet, and I'm probably not going to do so on the Wii U where the best discount you can hope for is 10% off. When the Steam sale starts next week, it'll be on the list of games to look out for.

    Hype Meter: For Jotun or the Wii U version in particular? High and low, respectively.

    Grappling Hook: I think the heroine does just fine with an axe.

  • Final Fantasy XII, one of the more misunderstood entries, is finally getting its due with this sumptuous remaster that adds in a whole bunch of new content from the International version and beyond. The trailer largely focuses on the game's new look, sweeping over locations and the party mid-combat. Why did they have to mangle that amazing boss theme though?

    Hype Meter: I really like that FFXII will find new fans, but once was enough. It's a really big game and not healthy for completionists.

    Grappling Hook: I forget if Balthier's ship has them. Either way, not in the trailer.

  • This was one of my favorite trailers this year, because it doesn't even try to make the game look fun. It's just ploughing, seeding and harvesting square fields over and over in increasingly elaborate farming vehicles while a weird "hick-hop" track plays over it.

    Hype Meter: Only for the QL.

    Grappling Hook: Like twenty of them bolted together and dragged by a tractor.

  • Well, they did it. Those maniacs finally built a professional looking successor to Windjammers. I never thought I'd see the day, but what a glorious future this is. Remains to be seen if it can frisbee the frisbee as well as it can talk the talk.

    Hype Meter: Here's hoping it becomes another Giant Bomb multiplayer staple.

    Grappling Hook: Discs are all you need.
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