Something went wrong. Try again later

Giant Bomb News

108 Comments

Empire Strikes Back Avatar Items Coming to XBLM May 20

Or: How to turn one sentence into 600 words without adding anything.


For such a dumbass purchase, that's a pretty fresh looking Tauntaun
For such a dumbass purchase, that's a pretty fresh looking Tauntaun
Okay, folks. Let's do this right. I'm going to tell you about how, in celebration of the 30th anniversary of the release of The Empire Strikes Back, LucasArts will release a set of Star Wars avatar items that you can purchase from the Avatar Marketplace on May 20th. And I'm only going to focus on the facts. That means I'm not going to spend this story writing about:
 
  • how The Empire Strikes Back is the best film of the original Star Wars trilogy.
  • how seeing Empire as a kid probably led me into geekery and, by extension, video games
  • the low quality of the new trilogy.
  • George Lucas' complete detachment from reality and his descent into visual fluff that ultimately destroyed his franchise.
  • Jar Jar Binks.
  • TIE Fighter.
  • Republic Commando.
 
None of that. This isn't my place to editorialize, or make this story something it isn't. We're just going to talk about the facts. And we're going to do that together. Everyone get ready! Here we go.
 
To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of The Empire Strikes Back, LucasArts will release a set of Star Wars avatar items that you can purchase from the Avatar Marketplace on May 20th.  
 
Oh, I guess that's it. Well, I guess that's why people editorialize this stuff: to turn a one-sentence story into a multiple-paragraph news post. I may have only been a member of the "games press" for two hours, but that seems like a poor use of editorial.
 
Thank goodness we have pictures! 

 
No Caption Provided


No Caption Provided

Hey, these don't look too shabby. Well, except for the walking terror that is avatar Chewbacca.
 
And don't get any ideas that grabbing a lightsaber will let you go head to head with other Avatars in combat: Microsoft has pretty firm rules preventing developers from making games where Avatars fight or become hurt. Oh well. We'll always have Avatar Drop.
 
Will you be purchasing any of these items for your Avatar? And how much shame will you feel as you buy it?

108 Comments

Avatar image for mattbodega
mattbodega

2281

Forum Posts

34417

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 4

Edited By mattbodega

For such a dumbass purchase, that's a pretty fresh looking Tauntaun
For such a dumbass purchase, that's a pretty fresh looking Tauntaun
Okay, folks. Let's do this right. I'm going to tell you about how, in celebration of the 30th anniversary of the release of The Empire Strikes Back, LucasArts will release a set of Star Wars avatar items that you can purchase from the Avatar Marketplace on May 20th. And I'm only going to focus on the facts. That means I'm not going to spend this story writing about:
 
  • how The Empire Strikes Back is the best film of the original Star Wars trilogy.
  • how seeing Empire as a kid probably led me into geekery and, by extension, video games
  • the low quality of the new trilogy.
  • George Lucas' complete detachment from reality and his descent into visual fluff that ultimately destroyed his franchise.
  • Jar Jar Binks.
  • TIE Fighter.
  • Republic Commando.
 
None of that. This isn't my place to editorialize, or make this story something it isn't. We're just going to talk about the facts. And we're going to do that together. Everyone get ready! Here we go.
 
To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the release of The Empire Strikes Back, LucasArts will release a set of Star Wars avatar items that you can purchase from the Avatar Marketplace on May 20th.  
 
Oh, I guess that's it. Well, I guess that's why people editorialize this stuff: to turn a one-sentence story into a multiple-paragraph news post. I may have only been a member of the "games press" for two hours, but that seems like a poor use of editorial.
 
Thank goodness we have pictures! 

 
No Caption Provided


No Caption Provided

Hey, these don't look too shabby. Well, except for the walking terror that is avatar Chewbacca.
 
And don't get any ideas that grabbing a lightsaber will let you go head to head with other Avatars in combat: Microsoft has pretty firm rules preventing developers from making games where Avatars fight or become hurt. Oh well. We'll always have Avatar Drop.
 
Will you be purchasing any of these items for your Avatar? And how much shame will you feel as you buy it?
Avatar image for deactivated-5af497d298d47
deactivated-5af497d298d47

55

Forum Posts

20

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

guess it doesn't work for none videos eh

Avatar image for discost3w
discost3w

164

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By discost3w

god damnit always 2nd 
 
Edit: oh well didn't lose anything :)

Avatar image for finaldasa
FinalDasa

3862

Forum Posts

9965

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 16

Edited By FinalDasa  Moderator

i want a freakin lightsaber

Avatar image for deactivated-5af497d298d47
deactivated-5af497d298d47

55

Forum Posts

20

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

@discost3w: don't worry... i didn't get it >:(
Avatar image for tuggah
Tuggah

1093

Forum Posts

817

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 11

Edited By Tuggah

Looks like some free lance for Giantbomb.

Avatar image for cornonthecobbe
CornontheCobbe

2693

Forum Posts

288

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Edited By CornontheCobbe

30 years? God damn, life flies by so fast :(

Avatar image for danieljw
DanielJW

4933

Forum Posts

8618

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 8

Edited By DanielJW

Alright. Because of the Tauntaun, I take everything I've ever said about Avatars being stupid back. 

Avatar image for hot_karl
Hot_Karl

3321

Forum Posts

-1

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Hot_Karl

That tauntaun is fucking adorable, yo. 
 
EDIT: Also, wanted to point out that the Lando outfit is on a avatar of a black guy. JUST SAYIN'

Avatar image for thegreatguero
TheGreatGuero

8881

Forum Posts

918

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By TheGreatGuero

Some of those are actually really cool. Some of the best avatar costumes I've seen.

Avatar image for hamz
Hamz

6900

Forum Posts

25432

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 5

Edited By Hamz

Star Wars related merchandise being whored out to the nerd fanbase? What's new!

Avatar image for shanedev
ShaneDev

1703

Forum Posts

7

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By ShaneDev

C3PO looks bored.

Avatar image for scooper
Scooper

7920

Forum Posts

1107

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By Scooper

STAY ON TARGET

Avatar image for superfriend
superfriend

1786

Forum Posts

10

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By superfriend

That´s why editorializing doesn´t make much sense for most news posts on any site. Yes, breaking down boring press releases into smaller chunks is fine, but for most releases you really only need the headline to know 80% of the information.

Avatar image for jeffsekai
Jeffsekai

7162

Forum Posts

1060

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By Jeffsekai

Spelling mistake

Avatar image for goodwood
goodwood

622

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By goodwood

Is this Matt Kessler's first time writing for giantbomb? And why does his name go to the profile of Matt Bodega?

Avatar image for moelarrycurly
moelarrycurly

731

Forum Posts

67

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 11

Edited By moelarrycurly

Grammar Nazi:  it should be "descent" not "decent." 
 
Oh man, Chebacca looks effing horrible...

Avatar image for bionicmonster
BionicMonster

1046

Forum Posts

281

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 2

Edited By BionicMonster

INVASION OF THE MATTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
being a Matt myself i am not surprised.
p.s. Chewbacca looks horrible and Yoda's was lazy.

Avatar image for toxin066
Toxin066

3589

Forum Posts

118

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By Toxin066

C3PO looks so sleepy.

Avatar image for snide
snide

2692

Forum Posts

1858

Wiki Points

108633

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 14

Edited By snide
@goodwood said:
" Is this Matt Kessler's first time writing for giantbomb? And why does his name go to the profile of Matt Bodega? "
Because we've removed any trace of Matt Kassler from Matt Bodega. Soon he will no longer be Matt, he will just be Bodega. At that point I will buy refreshing beverages from him.
Avatar image for roborobb
roborobb

1096

Forum Posts

433

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 3

Edited By roborobb

good post, but sorry, who the eff is Matt Kessler?! I thought only the main four would post news on the main page

Avatar image for brunchies
Brunchies

2501

Forum Posts

26

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 1

Edited By Brunchies

C3PO and chewbacca look horrible. The only great one out of all of them is the tauntaun and luke skywalker pilot avatar.

Avatar image for evilbenius
evilbenius

10

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

Edited By evilbenius

I am going to be a total geek and point out that is RotJ Boba Fett and not ESB. It may even be the one from the Special Edition, but I cannot see the side of the helmet at that angle.

Avatar image for milkman
Milkman

19372

Forum Posts

-1

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 3

Edited By Milkman

Must...not...buy....

Avatar image for scroll
scroll

641

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 1

Edited By scroll

I can become Lando?
 
Oh my, it's finally happened, all we need now is the Adventures of Lando video game.

Avatar image for facelessvixen
FacelessVixen

4009

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By FacelessVixen

I know that I'll end up buying a lightsaber out of boredom...

Avatar image for adoggz
adoggz

2081

Forum Posts

165

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By adoggz

god damn it. one of these days I will break and pay way too much money for a lightsaber for my avatar.

Avatar image for metal_mills
metal_mills

3604

Forum Posts

4049

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 10

User Lists: 3

Edited By metal_mills

Oh dude, that snow trooper...do want!
 
3PO looks munted.

Avatar image for snide
snide

2692

Forum Posts

1858

Wiki Points

108633

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 14

Edited By snide
@RoboRobb said:

" good post, but sorry, who the eff is Matt Kessler?! I thought only the main four would post news on the main page "

You sir, forgot my stint of wittily crafted articles from 2009! I covered such thrilling topics as Drakensang, Divinity II and other such hot topics that gamers needed to know about. 
 
Matt's Giant Bomb's very first intern and I qualify his ability to drink in bars that I frequent.
Avatar image for brad
Brad

6955

Forum Posts

9601

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By Brad
@goodwood: Because he is Matt Bodega! 
 
Don't worry, Mr. Bodega... uh, Kessler is here to help us out on the news beat while we focus on what some business types like to call the Big Picture. Be gentle, please.
Avatar image for plwolf
PLWolf

967

Forum Posts

43

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 7

Edited By PLWolf

Must.resist.Tauntaun purchase

Avatar image for cube
Cube

4410

Forum Posts

1677

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 5

Edited By Cube

One step closer to Kotaku, oh dear.

Avatar image for rhcpfan24
RHCPfan24

8663

Forum Posts

22301

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 16

User Lists: 8

Edited By RHCPfan24

Go MattBodega! And yeah...I am going to try to resist buying the Chewbacca outfit, though I am sure all attempts will fail.

Avatar image for hockeymask27
hockeymask27

3704

Forum Posts

794

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 0

Edited By hockeymask27
@Toxin066 said:
" C3PO looks so sleepy. "
I know wtf is up with his eyes's.
Avatar image for olivaw
Olivaw

1309

Forum Posts

6

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By Olivaw

Turning a one sentence story into a commentary on games journalism.
 
I like the cut of your jib, Matt Kessler.

Avatar image for kajaah117
Kajaah117

1073

Forum Posts

18

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 3

Edited By Kajaah117

That's really the Yoda costume? That's almost as bad as: 

No Caption Provided
Avatar image for kalmis
kalmis

1745

Forum Posts

6127

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 115

User Lists: 6

Edited By kalmis

Why can't they have black tie-fighter pilot suit?

Avatar image for deactivated-6418ef3727cdd
deactivated-6418ef3727cdd

2721

Forum Posts

697

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

I know you have only been part of the game press for 2 hours, but I'm pretty sure that people don't "become hurt".

Avatar image for zmilla
ZmillA

2519

Forum Posts

195

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 4

Edited By ZmillA

I like this new guy
 
edit: oh its bodega

Avatar image for mattyftm
MattyFTM

14914

Forum Posts

67415

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 11

Edited By MattyFTM  Moderator

You've just turned a one sentence story into an editorial about how turning one sentence stories into editorials is bad. Brilliant.

Avatar image for spiceninja
spiceninja

3286

Forum Posts

9105

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 18

User Lists: 2

Edited By spiceninja

 So I can buy a hat that just says Yoda on it? That's pretty lazy. 

Avatar image for natural_deadhead
natural_deadhead

292

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 13

Edited By natural_deadhead

George Lucas' complete detachment from reality and his descent into visual fluff that ultimately destroyed his franchise. 
 
 
Wow. I hope he was kidding.  
 Who is Matt Kessler and why do I want to hear his bull shit opinions while reading an update about xbox live?
Avatar image for jackijinx
JackiJinx

3255

Forum Posts

23588

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 34

Edited By JackiJinx

Dear Bodega,  

That C3P0 is happenin'.  

Sincerely, 
Jacki Jinx esq.

Avatar image for adoggz
adoggz

2081

Forum Posts

165

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

Edited By adoggz
@Kajaah117 said:
" That's really the Yoda costume? That's almost as bad as: 
No Caption Provided
"
that god damns a spy
Avatar image for jimbo7676
Jimbo7676

881

Forum Posts

40

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

Edited By Jimbo7676

OMG Matt Bodega works for giantbomb.com now... I guess all it took was making a big community around gamespot live and then moving to giantbomb and doing the same thing.

Avatar image for kaincarver
KainCarver

133

Forum Posts

298

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By KainCarver

LOL nice funny article mate.

Avatar image for zombie2011
zombie2011

5628

Forum Posts

8742

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 5

Edited By zombie2011

I want C3PO. 
 
Also, hopefully this Matt dude posts more news articles so that the other staff members can focus more on reviews and other dumb shenanigans.

Avatar image for ht101
ht101

2157

Forum Posts

378

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 11

Edited By ht101

I will DEFINITELY have to hold myself back from purchasing either the Lando costume or the snowtrooper costume.  If I have enough points to buy them both, then help me God.

Avatar image for jayzilla
Jayzilla

2709

Forum Posts

18

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 7

Edited By Jayzilla

frickin sign me up for that lando suit so i can sweet talk the ladies on live!