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Text Adventure Teaches The Art of Toiletry

Pooping your pants is easy. Not pooping your pants? That's a different story.

I sort of accidentally stopped all progress at the office today by sending around a link to this hot Flash-based text adventure, Don't Shit Your Pants.

It's billed a "survival horror" game, and yeah, I'd say that fits. Shitting your pants is pretty horrible. And before you ask? Yeah. I have. But now that I've lived out this scenario in the safe haven of text adventure virtual reality, I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work. You need to remove your pants first. This is key. We managed to figure out how to get all of the different achievements in the game in around 10 minutes.

Also, check out this amazing walkthrough if you get stuck, or if you're just a bad person who won't play goofy Flash games. Be sure to note that even though it's a short video, the creator still felt the need to layer some stupid-ass song under it. THANKS DUDE, THE SIMPLE AUDIO OF THE GAME ITSELF WASN'T ROCKIN' ENOUGH! SHAKA!!!!!!

  

Jeff Gerstmann on Google+

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jeff

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Edited By jeff
I sort of accidentally stopped all progress at the office today by sending around a link to this hot Flash-based text adventure, Don't Shit Your Pants.

It's billed a "survival horror" game, and yeah, I'd say that fits. Shitting your pants is pretty horrible. And before you ask? Yeah. I have. But now that I've lived out this scenario in the safe haven of text adventure virtual reality, I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work. You need to remove your pants first. This is key. We managed to figure out how to get all of the different achievements in the game in around 10 minutes.

Also, check out this amazing walkthrough if you get stuck, or if you're just a bad person who won't play goofy Flash games. Be sure to note that even though it's a short video, the creator still felt the need to layer some stupid-ass song under it. THANKS DUDE, THE SIMPLE AUDIO OF THE GAME ITSELF WASN'T ROCKIN' ENOUGH! SHAKA!!!!!!

  

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alConn

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Edited By alConn

Thank God!  This process has been confounding me for ages.

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Aberrant

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Edited By Aberrant

I love text adventures, and I love not shitting my pants! Woohoo!

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killawogg

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Edited By killawogg

lol game of the year

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vaiz

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Edited By vaiz

At long last, the mystery of the toilet is unraveled.

This changes everything. GOTY 09.

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LiveOrDie1212

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Edited By LiveOrDie1212

wtf

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MattyFTM

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Edited By MattyFTM  Moderator

Text adventures and shitting - the two greatest things in the world combined.

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Anviltongue

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Edited By Anviltongue

My God, I had to pause the video half way through and dry my eyes.  It took everything I had to keep from LOLing.  I might play this when I get home.

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Crono

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Edited By Crono

This game's the shit!

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cyrax

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Edited By cyrax

How to win at jokes by Jeff. Awesomely creative game.

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McPlated

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Edited By McPlated

Shit...shit never changes...

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Captain_Fookup

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Edited By Captain_Fookup

Bwahah looks great.

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ZeroCast

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Edited By ZeroCast

Shitting your pants is just the beginning!

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SoothsayerGB

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Edited By SoothsayerGB

I gotta go now.

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HazBazz

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Edited By HazBazz

how you guys figured out the 'Holding off the inevitable' achievement on your own astounds me

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cjmhockey

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Edited By cjmhockey

Haha... fun game, forgot to take off my pants the first time =P

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Media_Master

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Edited By Media_Master

thats dumb

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Scratch

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Edited By Scratch

OK?!? That was weird.

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Absurd

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Edited By Absurd

Dude, I've never known about that site, Thanks for the link (and the great game)

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Mandaray

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Disturbingly funny.

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ValkyrieGoddess

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Edited By ValkyrieGoddess

This was hilarious. I wounder if they guy in the game went to McDonalds by chance??? There food can do that to you.

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zoozilla

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Edited By zoozilla

I can safely say that this is the shittiest game I've ever played.

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darkstorn

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Edited By darkstorn

Haha I lol'd.

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vibratingdonkey

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Edited By vibratingdonkey
XD
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babz

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Edited By babz

Man you learn life lesson on giant bomb ever day! i don't know about shitting my pants, but i almost pissed my pants with laughter after reading this jeff.

lets bullet point what we learned

  • Shitting your pants is pretty horrible
  • And before you ask? Yeah. I have
  • I think I finally understand how this is supposed to work.
  • You need to remove your pants first. This is key

(im crying rite now) awwwwwwwwwwwesome lol

so what we learning next..................

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LiquidPrince

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Edited By LiquidPrince

I couldn't figure out 5, 6, or 7.

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ToxicFruit

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Edited By ToxicFruit

okey. that was different

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SolemnOaf

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Edited By SolemnOaf

Great, now I have to look forward to the sequel.  Gaining The Gift of Wiping.  Nobody better steal the source code.

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harrisonave

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Edited By harrisonave

Is that Carl from ATHF?

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deactivated-5c5cdba6e0b96

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Best name for a game, ever.

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lamegame621

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Edited By lamegame621

haha jeff poops his pants...k i'm done now


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BinaryDragon

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Edited By BinaryDragon

Now that's a game.

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Tass

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Edited By Tass

Sorry you didn't like the audio...  normally my vids have quality audio.  Let me explain: I was on vacation in Vegas; it was 2:30am; girlfriend was asleep; couldn't record audio in-game and couldn't preview audio from youtube's audioswap library.  I took a stab at something that sounded like it had a decent name and hoped for the best.  I definitely failed.  And I take full responsibility for the crappy audio track.

Thanks for embedding my vid, hope you take a look at some of my other work...  you'll like those better, I'm sure (except, of course, for the vids that had copyrighted audio and I was forced to swap them out...  in which case, blame Warner or Universal).

-Tass

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singular

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Edited By singular

That explaines a certain Twitter post I read yesterday.

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Dragonbyte

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Edited By Dragonbyte

sweet litte text base game, good work

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shelcobsohn

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Edited By shelcobsohn

This game redefines the survival horror genre.

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natetodamax

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Edited By natetodamax

lolwut?

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Pibo47

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Edited By Pibo47

Amazing!

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Kohe321

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Edited By Kohe321

Haha

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Jayge_

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I am the Shit King.

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Scotty993

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Edited By Scotty993

This walkthrough came to late for me....

I SHIT MY PANTS!

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MrKlorox

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Edited By MrKlorox

Hi! Text adventure is supposed to be all text. Like Zork. This is a text-input graphical adventure.

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AlucardaLaCarte

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Edited By AlucardaLaCarte

Gak! The only one I was missing was #8 and then I watched the movie!
I'm pretty confident I would've never figured it out though.

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Nettacki

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Edited By Nettacki

@ Tass:

Well, at least you apologized. That's something you don't see every day.

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SoothsayerGB

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Edited By SoothsayerGB

Couldn't spare a square?

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Johnny5

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Edited By Johnny5

such an awesome game. Achievements were probably the best part.

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Destroyeron

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Edited By Destroyeron

Nice background music lol.