Being nice gets you nowhere

I don't do a lot of competitive multiplayer gaming. When I do, it's usually Street Fighter, Left 4 Dead 2, and more recently Modern Warfare 2. The reason I don't play a lot of competitive multiplayer is not because I don't enjoy it, it's because people are dicks.
 
Recently I've run into more and more assholes on Xbox Live than ever before. One of the more infuriating incidents was when I was playing Street Fighter, and about halfway through the second round, the other player stopped moving. We both had a sliver of health left and I figured his controller had died, so I thought "I've been there before, I'll just step back and wait for him to plug it in," and sure enough after about 10 seconds he had plugged it back in, and without giving any notice he threw a fireball at me and won. I later went on to win the final match, and was berated by two separate, terribly misspelled hate messages from the guy. 
 
So what's my point? Being nice, helpful, or supportive online to other players is usually either met with silence or hatred, so I figures why even bother anymore. Then I realized why you only hear asshole 14 year olds when you play Call of Duty, it's because everyone else has gotten tired of them like me and stopped trying all together. What kind of an online experience is this? I don't have a lot of friends who game IRL, so it's hard to play with people that I like in parties. Am I the only one who feels constantly oppressed on XBL? Is it at all better on the PSN?

I don't do a lot of competitive multiplayer gaming. When I do, it's usually Street Fighter, Left 4 Dead 2, and more recently Modern Warfare 2. The reason I don't play a lot of competitive multiplayer is not because I don't enjoy it, it's because people are dicks.
 
Recently I've run into more and more assholes on Xbox Live than ever before. One of the more infuriating incidents was when I was playing Street Fighter, and about halfway through the second round, the other player stopped moving. We both had a sliver of health left and I figured his controller had died, so I thought "I've been there before, I'll just step back and wait for him to plug it in," and sure enough after about 10 seconds he had plugged it back in, and without giving any notice he threw a fireball at me and won. I later went on to win the final match, and was berated by two separate, terribly misspelled hate messages from the guy. 
 
So what's my point? Being nice, helpful, or supportive online to other players is usually either met with silence or hatred, so I figures why even bother anymore. Then I realized why you only hear asshole 14 year olds when you play Call of Duty, it's because everyone else has gotten tired of them like me and stopped trying all together. What kind of an online experience is this? I don't have a lot of friends who game IRL, so it's hard to play with people that I like in parties. Am I the only one who feels constantly oppressed on XBL? Is it at all better on the PSN?

Be nice to people who deserve it, be an asshole to people who don't.

Only play with people on your friends list and mute everyone else. That's what I do.

I liked xbox live more in the past -- there were a lot of dicks but you could actually make good friends even if you didn't know them in real life. Now that there is party chat, I can barely find a game with anyone talking.
 
Also, playing a 1v1 game on XBL I've just come to expect hate messages for winning.

If the messages included swearing and/or hate speech, report him. Other than that move on and realize that assholes live on the internet, regardless of the game you're playing.

Never give anyone an inch in Street Fighter. They won't give you one. If they stop moving I just assume I've crushed their will to go on and I go ahead and put them out of their misery. ;)

You should be happy.  If it was MvC2 they would have yanked their Ethernet cord out of the box and took a disconnect rather than a loss.

Honestly sometimes it never seems worth being nice towards someone and occasionally all of us at one point or another breaks down and does something asshole-ish.  
  
Xbox Live is filled with immature kids, literally. As much as the average age of gamers today is 35 that doesn't mean most gamers on Xbox are always going to be adults.  
The reason I still tell myself to be nice is because I remember being a teenager and wanting to act out. I remember after doing so and seeing how an adult acted afterward. The adult's actions were always nice and reserved (usually) and imprinted on me how to really act.  
 
So when I'm nice on Live, when I treat someone with respect, I hope that one day that kid might learn that teabagging everyone doesn't earn you anything.  
Perhaps seeing me just playing the game and having fun will impact him to stop being a dick. 
And perhaps not. Either way I feel happier acting the way I do rather than acting the way the kids do.

PSN is not much better, but the percentage of people who have microphones is much lower. 
Still, spend any time in Home, and you'll see that anonymity breeds assholes.

Unfortunately, I've noticed quite a lot more negative people on Xbox LIVE as well. I can remember playing Far Cry 2 online in the past with a group of American guys on the enemy team, and after doing well in the match I wasn't insulted. Rather, they were saying "Good game!" and "If you keep that up you'll be a serious threat", as well as other positive compliments. Sometimes, when I'm on Xbox LIVE and I find myself competing with one other guy I will send him a message at the end with a "Good game". About 90% of the time I get no response, but the other 10% of the time, it is rarely a positive response. It's more along the lines of "Get raped fag", and so on. I suppose I can chalk that up to an immature community in the Call of Duty franchise. 
 
Some of the more dedicated online games tend to have better communities, I find. Take the Forza Motorsport games as an example. Alright, Forza 3 might have its share of 'Leaderboard Cars', which are basically cars that destroy in certain classes. Sometimes you can strike a good lobby though where everyone is running some varied cars. In Forza Motorsport 2, I joined a lobby with my Audi RS4 and was promptly annihilated around the Nurburgring by a couple of really experienced guys. However, rather than taunting me, they were encouraging me and recommending ways to improve the car I was driving. It truly surprised me, because I went in with the mindset of finding some uber-competitive guys who'd rage if they were 0.5 seconds slower on a lap than they were before. However, they were nothing like I had expected. Xbox LIVE can provide some of the most pleasant surprises one can have, but it can also provide some of the worst gaming experiences. 
 
I do rage. Quite frequently, in fact. I don't show my rage in-game though, because I have the sense to keep my headset off and then rain the torrent of abuse at an enemy. Does that make me a hypocrite? Probably. But at the same time, it is not aimed at someone in a manner where anyone can be effected by it, and it also means that by releasing anger I can be more calm when congratulating them on a victory. Alright, I don't always congratulate enemies on a victory, and sometimes I've thought to myself "Go fuck yourself" more than "Great game guys!". In any case though, I do think the main problem with the community on Xbox LIVE is their age and maturity. I'm 15, but I know that if I start acting like an idiot on the mic I am going to anger some other guys. Many parents see online gaming as being a harmless playground where kids can meet their friends and game together, but when they get competitive and hyper, then there's a problem. Johnny is going to be screaming profanity down the mic when someone who is simply playing as a manner of escapism manages to score that all-important headshot and so on. The community acts immaturely and it means the people who are most mature tend to either keep their headsets off, or talk exclusively in a party.

There are so many "dicks" on XBL that when you have that funny moment with some similar minded stranger in which your pointing ammo-less guns at each other, you appreciate it more. At least that's my look on it.

A) you made the mistake in street fighter. If u wer mid battle, u just do it. I mean how does he know to understand that ur showing mercy, when all he see's is a character model. If u had voice chat and told u would wait u may (note: MAY) see a difference. Again, ur in a fighting game, there is no mercy, there are alot of other games that are more accepting of kindness. 
B) I read alot of stories about xbox live and the comments i hear are what u describe. And for the most part i do not have that problem on psn. It has happened a couple of times but usually i will hear 1) conversation between 2 ppl. 2)silence. On the pc, its even better in games like left 4 dead 2. Where ppl willing to help me and dont just run off on there own (and a game like that is bit more of the kind of game where kindness may be noticed and appreciated.

The next generation of consoles will come equipped with an AI that monitors all your online activity and gives you a shock through the controller if you're being a dick. #whatanicedream

This is why I like dedicated servers on the pc. It allows you to find a server populated by decent gamers and get to know them after a while. Sure, I wouldn't call them "friends" in the technical sense, but its nice to have a place to go to where there's usually some recognizable faces (gamertags). Random matches just gets you a bunch of d bags.

" The next generation of consoles will come equipped with an AI that monitors all your online activity and gives you a shock through the controller if you're being a dick. #whatanicedream "

It's not that bad on PSN since not that many people use mics. maybe 1 or 2 in every other CoD match but that's it. The hate mail doesn't come in. Usually I'll cure out a person if they're glitching or camping because it pisses me the hell off. But usually, just mute people. Best way. Also, adults are dicks too. Hate everyone online, except those you seem to get along with. 
 
Edit: If I ever encounter a little kid, I just tell them to shutup and mute them because they're Justin Bieber voices and trying to act tough selves are so annoying. 

That's exactly why I haven't played an online game since CS: Source.

Well, I've already given my two cents on this issue but to reiterate: Be nice to people who are nice, and to people who are dicks, ignore them and report them.

" @RockmanBionics said:

" The next generation of consoles will come equipped with an AI that monitors all your online activity and gives you a shock through the controller if you're being a dick. #whatanicedream "

And it will bake you cookies. "

I've never understood why people are offended by stuff like this. People are dicks online, who cares? honestly, what does it matter? if some guy sends you rage messages, laugh at it, because it's funny. That's what I do.  
 
I honestly don't understand the big deal or how anyone can get 'fed up' by things like this. 

 I said it once and I'll say it again. No one on the PS3 has a mic and it's blissfully silent all the time.

I like the moment when to random people do something nice for each other. It is worth all the idiots I think. It is like "oh shit, there actually is humanity left, somewhere".

" @GlenTennis said:

" @RockmanBionics said:

" The next generation of consoles will come equipped with an AI that monitors all your online activity and gives you a shock through the controller if you're being a dick. #whatanicedream "

And it will bake you cookies. "

Oh oh oh and you'll get one each time you get an Achievement/Trophy and it will be shaped like the icon that was on the achievement :D "

"  I said it once and I'll say it again. No one on the PS3 has a mic and it's blissfully silent all the time. "

" I've never understood why people are offended by stuff like this. People are dicks online, who cares? honestly, what does it matter? if some guy sends you rage messages, laugh at it, because it's funny. That's what I do.   I honestly don't understand the big deal or how anyone can get 'fed up' by things like this.  "

Yeah sometimes multiplayer just isnt any fun because everyone else there seems to be getting joy by wrecking the game rather than just playing the game.
 
I played GOW2 a whole lot about a year ago and met the full gamut of people.  The cool thing was that there were a lot of really great and friendly people playing that game.  Some were more than happy to just BS during matches.  Sometimes we'd move over to a Horde game.  Other times it would be nothing but annoying teenagers trying oh so very hard to impress each other.  Really that was OK too because it was so damn funny to listen to.
 
I've got a pretty good crew to run with on Forza too from a private message board.  I recommend something like that.  Join or build a private online community of people you like gaming with.  Post events, run events, hold regular game nights.

Shit happens.

Same old, same old.
 
I do miss the days of couch multiplayer, least there you could punch your friend if he was spawncamping you.

With al my experiences via RDR on PSN, I can solely say that no, it really isn't that much better. I've lost count over the amount of death threats (mostly by mexicans) and accusations of cheating I've gotten over there ;P

Get in a clan. If you just let the system match you up, your going to meet a lot of assholes. But if you do a little extra work and find people to play with that are mature and fun to interact with, you will have way more fun. I had about 4 times as much fun in WoW before my amazing guild fell apart for that very reason.

" Get in a clan. If you just let the system match you up, your going to meet a lot of assholes. But if you do a little extra work and find people to play with that are mature and fun to interact with, you will have way more fun. I had about 4 times as much fun in WoW before my amazing guild fell apart for that very reason. "

yep, there are assholes on the internet. everywhere on the internet there are assholes. yeah, there is no point in being nice on the internet. people are just going to keep on yelling into the mic. i mute people when i don't feel like hearing them talking. it seems to work a lot when that happens.

Honestly, when I'm playing Call of Duty online (Xbox LIVE) most of the games I get into are complete silent.

This is why I a) try to mainly play single player games and b) when I am playing multiplayer games, keep voice chat off and don't teabag people.

 We both had a sliver of health left and I figured his controller had died, so I thought "I've been there before, I'll just step back and wait for him to plug it in," and sure enough after about 10 seconds he had plugged it back in, and without giving any notice he threw a fireball at me and won.    

 So what's my point? Being nice, helpful, or supportive online to other players is usually either met with silence or hatred, so I figures why even bother anymore.     

If you aren't trying to be nice to other people, you're just as much a part of the problem as they are.

I just realized that this is a perfect home for this video: 
  

You shouldn't want to be nice to get yourself somewhere. Being nice isn't supposed to get you anywhere. If it does, great. If not, oh well. Don't be nice if you don't want to then. Be another silent or annoying individual on Xbox Live. Grats.

"  So what's my point? Being nice, helpful, or supportive online to other players is usually either met with silence or hatred, so I figures why even bother anymore. "

The internets is full of dicks, it just makes it so much more refreshing when you meet someone who is actually nice.

Not growing up in the Multiplayer  Generation has it's perks. It seems that games and players are now judged by this (Multiplayer Mode) and nothing else. Are there assholes on console and PC playing multiplayer? Yes. Is there a way to fix that? Yes, but it's not easy. Mute, kick out rude people and find a group of players that you are comfortable with. The weeding out process is a pain but I feel it's the only way to do things. 
 
I myself  have no problem playing games on my own.

Just wait till after Christmas, it's always worse. A whole bunch of new shitty little brats with microphones. 'Tis the season to be muting.

Decent people are easy to find, if you know where to look.

" You shouldn't want to be nice to get yourself somewhere. Being nice isn't supposed to get you anywhere. If it does, great. If not, oh well. Don't be nice if you don't want to then. Be another silent or annoying individual on Xbox Live. Grats. "