I hate my mum. Anyone else?

I don't like my mother either. She treats my brother better than me and really showed no sort of real care towards me at all that I can remember when I was growing up. Basically she just let my father and relatives raise me and just let me stay in her house because she had to. And when she didn't have to well, I wasn't. But, I don't hate the woman. She has housed me for a good 20 or so years of my life. And left me her old apartment when she moved to a condo, though it may have just been a matter of convenience >. >

I do sorta envy you guys that get along with your moms, but I had such a good extended family that it doesn't bother me as much. No tears for her though I just can't find the care.

@ItBeStefYo: Oh, and yes she is paying for your schooling and housing you, but that's no reason for her to treat you like shit, period. You're not innocent because I'm sure you've done your fair share or being a dick to her, probably to spite her. In the end that doesn't help either one of you be a better family. Wash the dishes dude.

But seriously, alotta people here seem to think someone paying for your expenses gives them the right to treat you like shit. It's not, it isn't and it never should be.

I haven't spoken to my mum in 7 years since my father died. She obsessed about how much money he left (not much) and accused me of trying to steal it (she and my father had separated 27 years earlier but never divorced). She did all this before we even buried him and was more interested in the money than grieving for him which was the part I found disgusting. Since I walked away I've never been happier. :)

As for your situation, she is probably trying to do the best for you but in a really poor way. There is always a difficult phase when the child is growing up and wants more independence and the parent want to keep control. You guys will sort it out but for now just try to understand that she thinks she is doing the right thing for you and is scared of losing you. In short, she's being a mum.

@ItBeStefYo: Oh, and yes she is paying for your schooling and housing you, but that's no reason for her to treat you like shit, period. You're not innocent because I'm sure you've done your fair share or being a dick to her, probably to spite her. In the end that doesn't help either one of you be a better family. Wash the dishes dude.

But seriously, alotta people here seem to think someone paying for your expenses gives them the right to treat you like shit. It's not, it isn't and it never should be.

But seriously, alotta people here seem to think someone paying for your expenses gives them the right to treat you like shit. It's not, it isn't and it never should be.

let me get this straight, your mom provides you with a place to sleep, food, electricity and internet so you can bitch about her on the internet, and also pays your tuition...

what the fuck are you bitching about again?!

love how he tries to stress how he isn't lazy and doesnt have free time, while sitting on this forum bullshitting.

First, do you chores...not for her...for yourself.

Second, pay your own damn university fees.

Third, if she is crazy WHY are you living in her house? Get out of there.

Some parents/elders are crazy, vindictive, horrible people. But, in that case get out of that house and do things for yourself - so you don't end up owning crazy, vindictive, horrible people.

@TwoOneFive: @CL60: I was gonna say he elaborate, but, agreed I read too much into it.

II think you need to grow up. you're behaving like a brat, regardless of how hard you work, do not bite the hand that feeds you.

The best think you can do is talk to her, and before you say anything, let her speak her mind. But don't just nod and sit there, really listen to her, and make it clear that you empathize with her and understand her point-of-view. Once she feels like you really understand where she's coming from and that you really listened, I guarantee that she will listen to you and be more understanding. The key is not to let your emotions cloud your understanding and don't think of your response as you listen, put yourself in her frame of reference. It will only help your relationship with her. Good luck.

@Meltac said:

Beat her with a shovel. ... and if that doesn't help, take an extra swing at her.

+1 for the internet

@Tonyyj said:

Sorry but you sound like a brat.

@BraveToaster said:

How dare she get angry because you're too lazy to do chores.

I think you guys have already summed up how I feel about the OP; he's basically playing martyr with this thread. I mean, using words like "blackmail" and "neglect?" Seriously?

Back on topic, I have a great relationship with my parents

@gamerpigeon said:

@Meltac said:

Beat her with a shovel. ... and if that doesn't help, take an extra swing at her.

+1 for the internet

Aim for the head.

I hate my family mostly. I don't understand why society or humanity as a whole deems it necessary for everyone to "love" their family. The only thing me and my family have in common is fucking DNA.

@ItBeStefYo said:

I would NEVER threaten to take away my child's chance at an education and blackmailing them is just immoral.

Because this thread is so popular and its coming up on the homepage a lot, I"ve read your edit. Going to University isn't a right, it's a privilege. That's why they call it 'Higher Education' its an add-on, a plus, and if you were really desperate to go to Uni for the right reason's you'd get yourself a Student Loan (with a part time job if needed) like everyone else less fortunate to outright afford to go has had to do.

My mom's dead. Thanks for the reminder. Jerk.

i like my parents

@ItBeStefYo said:

I just really dislike her as a person. Stubborn, callous and impertinent.

Just today she locked me out of the house in the pouring rain because I didn't do the washing up. She doesnt listen at all to what I say and says what she thinks over and over, when I told her to shut up after her telling me what to do for the fourth time she went in a huff with me, refused to feed me and threatened to not pay for my university fees.

What the fuck kind of parenting is this? Blackmail and neglect for stupid fucking petty things. Taking power-trips all the fucking time.

sorry about this, but I'm angry... can't wait to get out. Anyone know how to deal with this sort of person, or any experiences to share?

PS:

I just want to say to everyone that is basically having a go at me, I would NEVER threaten to take away my child's chance at an education and blackmailing them is just immoral. She's told me to go and live with my father and to fuck off I suppose you would do that to your kids too? Maybe my ideals are fucked up though, who knows.

Anyone calling me lazy is dead wrong, I spend all day at a summer course, and get a ton of assignments, presentations and essays to write, not sitting on my ass all day with a ton of free time.

Wow. You really are a complete shit. And I don't talk to my dad because I think he's an asshole.

@RazielCuts: The line between University being a right or privilege isnt clear, that's why some places make it free. And I don't think any 18 year old is "fortunate" enough to outright afford to go. And maybe I will get a student loan, who knows and what is your point?

@CosmicQueso: I'm sorry to hear that, but is it fair to call someone names just because they mention or state that they don't like their mother?

Wait she has enough money to pay for your university education and you're bitching?

Grow up and stop whining you baby. You have it EASY. This is a classic example of 1st world problems right here. You're a living a meme, congratulations.

I had a single mom raising myself and 3 siblings and while we weren't poor we weren't rich or well off either.

I feel sick, after reading the OP. I stopped at that university thing and "didn't wash up" crap.

I luv your mum.

You have a lot of growing up to do by the sounds of it, you think studying is hard, wait 'till you get a job. Also it really pisses me off that you make it sound like your life is hard, wash the fucking pots, what does it take.....5 minutes. So stop being a whiny little bitch and do what your mum tells you, sounds to me like you have a problem with authority.

@ItBeStefYo said:

Anyone calling me lazy is dead wrong, I spend all day at a summer course, and get a ton of assignments, presentations and essays to write, not sitting on my ass all day with a ton of free time.

^You're lazy, you're studying, not training for a fucking olympic event, again, wash the pots.

@Twiggy199: How do you get the first "you're" right and then fuck up on the second which came right away?

@Knave: Better, i was editing, just needed to get my frustration out whilst fresh in my mind, i spotted it straight away. ;)

@Twiggy199: Edit it again, and get it right this time.

@ItBeStefYo said:

I just really dislike her as a person. Stubborn, callous and impertinent.

Just today she locked me out of the house in the pouring rain because I didn't do the washing up. She doesnt listen at all to what I say and says what she thinks over and over, when I told her to shut up after her telling me what to do for the fourth time she went in a huff with me, refused to feed me and threatened to not pay for my university fees.

What the fuck kind of parenting is this? Blackmail and neglect for stupid fucking petty things. Taking power-trips all the fucking time.

sorry about this, but I'm angry... can't wait to get out. Anyone know how to deal with this sort of person, or any experiences to share?

PS:

I just want to say to everyone that is basically having a go at me, I would NEVER threaten to take away my child's chance at an education and blackmailing them is just immoral. She's told me to go and live with my father and to fuck off I suppose you would do that to your kids too? Maybe my ideals are fucked up though, who knows.

Anyone calling me lazy is dead wrong, I spend all day at a summer course, and get a ton of assignments, presentations and essays to write, not sitting on my ass all day with a ton of free time.

Your mom is paying your tuition, feeding you, and providing you a place to live. You sound very ungrateful.

I work 40 hours a week and go to school full time, and I love my mom.

My mom is amazing.

Judging from your post, it sounds like you're the kind of kid who needs to be told a dozen times to do something, and then, often, still doesn't do it. So on that note, my advice would be to get an attitude adjustment, get off your lazy ass, and help out around the house for once. I'll bet you ten bucks that your mom will behave very differently towards you when you actually start carrying your weight.

Wait. OP doesn't have a dishwasher?

Am I a 1 percenter?

On reflection, I've noted quite a few similarities between the OP and my little brother. Mainly the shitheaded attitude towards one's parents, the glaring ingratitude, and overall prickish way of writing. Note, you do not want to be like my brother. I would suggest improving yourself.

@Knave said:

@Twiggy199: Edit it again, and get it right this time.

You really wanna go there when you made this, dumbass?

@Sooty said:

Wait. OP doesn't have a dishwasher?

Am I a 1 percenter?

Congrats. Welcome to the life of luxury.

@zombiebigfoot: You seem a bit frustrated, try doing some Yoga to calm down.

@Knave: I've got the flexibility of an early-morning woody. Yoga ain't gonna work out.

@zombiebigfoot: Good, you seem to have lightened up a bit. Keep it up, champ.

@Twiggy199 said:

@Knave: Stop trolling. You're clearly trying to get under his skin, and why'd you have a go at my grammar when you clearly, wrote a thread, like a caveman.

That'd be close to impossible.

@Twiggy199: Because you seem like an educated man, and you shouldn't make such errors. I was only trying to help you preserve your image.

@ItBeStefYo said:

"Just today she locked me out of the house in the pouring rain because I didn't do the washing up. She doesnt listen at all to what I say and says what she thinks over and over, when I told her to shut up after her telling me what to do for the fourth time"

Sure the punishment doesn't befit the crime. She shouldn't have locked you out of the house, i mean how are you meant to do the washing up from outside? but she shouldn't have to tell you four times to do it in the first place. She shouldn't have blackmailed you either, but maybe she has trouble dealing with you and had no other option? You told her to shut up, how do you deal with your children when they speak like that to you?

Neither of you are in the right here. We can only comment on what information you've posted here but i think there is more to this story that we don't know about because her actions do seem a bit over the top as do yours. I reckon you should consider moving out of home and stand on your own two feet.

Your uni education fees if they are going to be paid for you is a privilege not a right. Your over 18, they legally don't have to bear any responsibility to you or your education.

@Twiggy199: I think I actually might have a problem with authority. That's why I want to go to university, so I can handle myself but I'm relying on my mother to put me through that, it's a weird circle that doesnt quite make sense but that's the situation i've been presented with and to get that dangled around in front of me is annoying to say the least.

I feel old.

@ItBeStefYo: How can you say you hate your mom because she asked you to do the washing up? You say you have a problem with authority and you go on about how hard you work on assignments and essays... boo-fucking-hoo. I''ve been caring for my mom since my dad died when I was 15 after she nearly died of cancer when I was 8. I help her around the house, I do the shopping, pay a chunk of the bills, phone people for her (she had cancer in her mouth and had two-thirds of her tongue removed which has greatly affected her speech), I take time off work to look after her when she's ill, I took three weeks off last year unpaid to look after her when she broke her hip after a fall - but you know what? She's my mom. She gave birth to me, she's looked after me, she's been there when no-one else has - why the hell wouldn't I look after her?

And for the record, I've been at university, and given how much time I've spent looking after my mom, my grades have suffered and I'm now having to work out if I should drop out of my final year for now to look after her more - leaving me with a fuckton of debt and no degree, but it's worth it knowing I'm looking after my mom.

I've done this all on my own, because my dad's dead and my mom needs me, and spiteful, petulant people like you do my head in. At least your mom has the strength to do things herself, and has the money to pay for her ungrateful kid's university fees. At least you have the opportunity to go and live with your dad. At least you can go to university guilt-free, knowing your mom is okay at home without you.

You want advice? Stop acting like a child, do the fucking washing up, try cooking your own meals and treating your mom like the woman who gave you life instead of a skivvy.

My mom worked hard but couldnt help me with college because of financial restraints. I funded it on my own. Be happy yours gives you anything. I know a lot of kids that got kicked out after highschool. Be happy you have a place to live. I know some who pay their parents rent. Be happy you stay for free.

Most people wouldn't tell their mom to shut up. I know mine would get very angry at me. Why would your parents respect an insolent disrespectful kid. And since you are staying for free, maybe its your duty to do some chores no matter how worn out you are from school.

Well sounds like she probably hates you too. I don't blame her.

@Clairabel: What a post! I really hope you're able to continue through university. =]

Mr OP man, sure it sucks your Mom locked you out in the rain but if that's the only thing she's done then really, life ain't so bad now is it?! Instead of expecting her to feed you it might be nice to cook her a meal once in a while, you know, to say thank you for her paying your fees. This post seems like you just got mad at her and needed to vent. Not going to call you a brat or anything because hopefully you'll soon realize that you have it pretty good. Especially if you read a post like @Clairabel. Oh, but one more thing, you may be mad at her but posting about her relationship (or lack of) with your dad and her sister on a public forum is pretty low. We don't know what caused them to no longer speak but that's because we have no right to know and you have no right to post about it on here as a dig at her.

This kid is just lazy... "Problem with authority" my balls.

@geirr said:

My mom is amazing.

...in bed.

Hey guess what bro? My parents haven't paid for anything for me that wasn't food (and I suppose indirectly rent, by letting me live in their house during middle school/high school) since I was about 13-14. 
  

I have been paying my entire way through college. Go get some student loans or scholarships or something. Honestly, I know less people whose parents are paying for their education than people who are paying for their own.

@Erzs: Thanks - if I do have to drop out (which may be redundant seeing as the university have already withdrawn me from my course) then I'll either explore a new education route, or pick up my degree when I'm better off financially in the future. My mom would hate to see me quit education altogether, but she is my priority over everything else.

INEVERASKEDFORTHIS

Thread full of strangers calls OP a cunt for a paragraph that basically reads as, "My mom and I don't get along and we had a disagreement."

You people blow my goddamn mind.

@Otzlowe said:

Thread full of strangers calls OP a cunt for a paragraph that basically reads as, "My mom and I don't get along and we had a disagreement."

You people blow my goddamn mind.

It's a good thing I'm as comfortable with that word as Vinny is!

@Otzlowe said:

Thread full of strangers calls OP a cunt for a paragraph that basically reads as, "My mom and I don't get along and we had a disagreement."

You people blow my goddamn mind.

I read it as 'I don't do anything in the house and told my mom to shut up even though the woman feeds me, keeps me under her roof and is paying for me to go to university, what a bitch.'