Why Your Favorite Game Sucks.

 In this paragraph, I discuss your favorite game, making sure to note just how popular and successful it's been. After stating that, I begin the process of explaining to you why your favorite game is actually quite terrible. 
 
 In this paragraph, I begin to construct my argument. I make note of something about the game that, while not necessarily bad, offends my sensibilities. Therefore, it's bad. Subsequent paragraphs continue this trend of pointing out things that also offend my sensibilities, therefore also making them bad. Mixed in with the various paragraphs about things that offend my sensibilities (aka bad things) are snippets of things that are actually bad in both design and execution. I won't spend too much time on these, however. 
 
The argument completed, I will then dedicate one final paragraph to slandering the name of your favorite game, and those responsible for it's creation. Then, I will release the document into the wilds of the Internet, ready to be read and discussed by the community at large. And by discussion, I am referring to profanity laced, condescending posts that attack various aspects of my personal character, such as intelligence, hygiene, and sexual preference. 
 
Many other arguments against your favorite game will be posted by other members of the community, usually in the manner described above. And usually met with the same responses as the first. This chain of events will eventually spawn discussions that mock such attempts at educating the ignorant masses, which will also be met with the same responses as the first. 
 
And thus, the Internet is sustained by the bitter tears and righteous anger of young men and women the world over. The circle is closed. The mission completed. All is right with the world. 
 
And your favorite game still sucks. n00b.

 In this paragraph, I discuss your favorite game, making sure to note just how popular and successful it's been. After stating that, I begin the process of explaining to you why your favorite game is actually quite terrible. 
 
 In this paragraph, I begin to construct my argument. I make note of something about the game that, while not necessarily bad, offends my sensibilities. Therefore, it's bad. Subsequent paragraphs continue this trend of pointing out things that also offend my sensibilities, therefore also making them bad. Mixed in with the various paragraphs about things that offend my sensibilities (aka bad things) are snippets of things that are actually bad in both design and execution. I won't spend too much time on these, however. 
 
The argument completed, I will then dedicate one final paragraph to slandering the name of your favorite game, and those responsible for it's creation. Then, I will release the document into the wilds of the Internet, ready to be read and discussed by the community at large. And by discussion, I am referring to profanity laced, condescending posts that attack various aspects of my personal character, such as intelligence, hygiene, and sexual preference. 
 
Many other arguments against your favorite game will be posted by other members of the community, usually in the manner described above. And usually met with the same responses as the first. This chain of events will eventually spawn discussions that mock such attempts at educating the ignorant masses, which will also be met with the same responses as the first. 
 
And thus, the Internet is sustained by the bitter tears and righteous anger of young men and women the world over. The circle is closed. The mission completed. All is right with the world. 
 
And your favorite game still sucks. n00b.

getting all meta up in this bitch.

YOUR POST STILL SUCKS

...I think you may be a genius.

getting all meta up in this bitch.

YOUR POST STILL SUCKS

Why would you waste time on something like this?  Can't believe I actually read the whole thing.  What a useless post.

stfu n00b

@TheBlackPigeon said:

n00b.

One of my favorite games is Mirror's Edge and I admit it technically isn't a good game and sucks, beat you to it.

Why would you waste time on something like this?  Can't believe I actually read the whole thing.  What a useless post.

My name is commander shepard and this is my favorite thread on the citadel

NO U!

In this post, I point out that your opinion is completely wrong in every way, and so are you. I will use a wide variety of techniques, ranging from the legitimate "pointing out where you were technically wrong" to citing irrelevant facts or telling you that your approach to this game was incorrect. This will then entice you to defend your opinion with most likely similar techniques, leading to pointless bickering that adds nothing constructive to either side.

Halo IS the best game ever made.

But..but...Endless Ocean: Blue World was awesome. Bummer.

In this post, I raise the point that you know nothing about the franchise and that the was made for fans despite the fact the game was a mass market product. Furthermore I will point at that you are most likely a "casual" gamer and proceed to bombard you with similar names.

In this sentence, I begin by vehemently defending my game of choice, claiming that it is, in fact, objectively, the best game ever made. 
I point out several features of the game that are taken for granted or severely overhyped, and make some vague references to how it changed gaming forever or is completely unique. 
Now I'm insulting you. I might even question your sexual orientation, or those of several of your family members.  
Finally, I tell you to go back to playing a popular, mainstream franchise whose fans I dislike. 

In this sentence, I will distance myself from this blog.

And then I act like a 4chan asshole and say something along the lines of "it's like having an extra girlfriend!"?

Keep the contributions coming, so that future generations can be prepared for the rigors of being a gamer on the World Wide Web! 
 
And kudos to the meme pics and Youtube vids, as they are also an integral part to the 'Your Game Sucks' experience.

I actually found this to be quite funny-- mostly 'cause what this man wrote is the truth about pretty much everything on the internet.

In this post I will write only one overly-enthusiastic, positive word that describes my appreciation of this thread. This allows me peace of mind that I've contributed to the thread yet actually offers no constructive argument or feedback to the original post and is thus more disruptive than actually welcome.

(That word is) 'Genius!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

Yeah? Yeah? Well, your favorite game smells like.... wait. No. Your favorite game is so fat.... no, that doesn't work either. Damn it! I have nothing!

wat.

wat.

but you don't know what my favorite game is. I don't even know what it is.

I'm pretty sure this is the best thread on giant bomb at the moment.

If I wasn't at work right now I'd join in the festivities but I want to gleefully bump this whilest saying it is awesome =P

I said a lot without saying anything. My work here is done.

I contribute absolutely nothing to this thread by quoting some one and typing...

this.

A witty cynical post composed of the words "your" and "mother" followed by a brief explanation why this thread sucks.

@CookieMonster said:

wat.

–noun

a Buddhist temple or monastery in Thailand or Cambodia.

You forgot peppering your diatribe with screenshots taken from the game, wittily captioned to point out graphical flaws and glitches, no matter how rare or minor. 

It's not hard, my favorite game in a while is Fallout: New Vegas. All you need is one word.

Bugs.

@Jams said:

I contribute absolutely nothing to this thread by quoting some one and typing...

this.

In this post, I state my indifference to the heated discussion at hand, and follow up with some irrelevant yet totally hilarious comment.

If i was out of toilet paper i would wipe my ass with this topic.

Nobody here likes games so I don't see the point of this.

Now I will attempt to invalidate your opinion by using progressive zoom on a silly (or failing that, random) word in your post.

yes

Very good post. 
 
Also, I'll cut off your mum's tits and shove 'em up her filthy, stretched out cunt for the fact that you hate my favourite game. You asshole, you.

I don't like bad games. So you're wrong. Also my opinion is fact too me, so take that.

In this comment, I will respond to the comment above me with a vaguely clever quip. For no other reason than to be a contrarian douchebag. This won't advance the conversation in any way, shape or form, but it will sure as hell make me feel better. For about as long as it takes me to post another snarky comment.

Arguing on the internet about how arguing on the internet is a waste of time...
 
Good argument bro.

Wait, Superman 64 was a bad game?

In this comment, I will respond to the comment above me with a vaguely clever quip. For no other reason than to be a contrarian douchebag. This won't advance the conversation in any way, shape or form, but it will sure as hell make me feel better. For about as long as it takes me to post another snarky comment.

@TheBlackPigeon said:

@Jethuty said:

getting all meta up in this bitch.

YOUR POST STILL SUCKS

I'll be covering why all your posts suck in a future installment.

Please do.

Looking forward to it!

<3 Thihi ;P toodles

this thread isn't locked yet it seems. video games suck, does that work?