Shawn Elliot just tweeted this link. It's amazingly bad writing:
http://e4g.info/1217/halo-3-odst-review.html
Halo 3: ODST
Game » consists of 10 releases. Released Sep 22, 2009
Taking place during the events of Halo 2, Halo 3: ODST puts players in the shoes of a silent Orbital Drop Shock Trooper (known as the Rookie) as he traverses through the Covenant-occupied metropolis of New Mombasa to find the whereabouts of his missing squadmates.
The most wonderfully awful ODST review
Doesn't sound like he's foreign.
On a similarly hilarious note, his twitter consists of nothing but spamming questions to @InsideGaming: http://twitter.com/dkblackhawk
No, I very much doubt it's a translation due to the English review slang being used; seems more like it's been written by a young highschooler who read a few reviews and decided to try doing them himself while borrowing the same terminology.
Why the fuck would Bungie for Halo or Sony for Uncharted 2 send him an early review copy!???! Is he giving PR blow jobs??
So, anyone want to make a drinking game out of their reviews?
Misuse of you're, your or there, their; take a drink.
Exclamation points, take a drink.
Worse use of semicolons than I am doing, take a drink.
If you laugh more than once per paragraph, take a drink.
Great typos such as "dual wielded", take a drink.
Quotes such as the above.They might make a ton of money off of this game but if you own Halo 3 and all of the maps, why rebuy it? If you are a Halo fan I highly recommend this game.
I... need to stop playing about now, as I am about to die I think.
" They might make a ton of money off of this game but if you own Halo 3 and all of the maps, why rebuy it? If you are a Halo fan I highly recommend this game."
Those two sentences are completely contradictory.
I'm hoping this guy is a high school student who's just starting off in the reviewing world so I can just sit back here and say about how we all have to start somewhere. However, it seems a little unlikely a high school student was sent advance copies of Halo 3: ODST and Uncharted 2. I think we really do have just a genuinely terrible review here.
It's awfully short, but it's not that bad of a review. Certain statements like this, however, make me feel better when I have to review games for a website:
The new music in Halo 3: ODST is great. Just like in Halo 3, another great soundtrack will be made.
I'm probably just sounding like an asshole, but that review has a couple of weird moments like that.
A bit of spell check here and there and it would be acceptable, but like this? Looks like a kindergartener wrote it.
Aside from issues concerning grammar (misuse of commas, mispelled words, run-on sentences, etc.) he has this habit of narrating his own review. "Now down the business, here's the review." "Now time to get down to the game play, this has really changed since the previous game Halo 3."
The worst part of the review though is actually the review's content. The guy is writing about the game rather than writing about his experience. His opinions don't delve into how the game made him react. His review consist a series of "Fact 1. I like Fact 1. Fact 2. I dislike Fact 2." If he added more praise in his review, I would have mistook it for a badly worded press release from the publisher.
" The review isn't all that bad. And i think he articulates his review for a younger audience, especially since many studies say that's where most of the gamer audience is. Don't bash the guy... at least he's more honest than most reviewer out there. "What in the world are you talking about? How is he possibly "articulating for a younger audience" when his review is nigh illegible? How is he any more honest than any other reviewer out there when the fact that many parts of the review are written in a speculative context make it seems as if he wrote the review before playing the game?
" @Inquisitor said:" A bit of spell check here and there and it would be acceptable, but like this? Looks like a kindergartener wrote it. "Spell/grammar check won't help it much. Whole sentences make no sense, the style is horrible. It does look like a kindergartner wrote it. "
Oh well, grass roots journalism i guess :/
But the funniest thing is that we just gave this abysmal review hits with pointing out how terrible it is.
I thought it was Shawn Elliot being sarcastic; acting like the dick-sucking Halo fan but... I guess this is a legitimate try at a review?
Please Log In to post.
This edit will also create new pages on Giant Bomb for:
Beware, you are proposing to add brand new pages to the wiki along with your edits. Make sure this is what you intended. This will likely increase the time it takes for your changes to go live.Comment and Save
Until you earn 1000 points all your submissions need to be vetted by other Giant Bomb users. This process takes no more than a few hours and we'll send you an email once approved.
Log in to comment