Let the Wii 2 speculation begin!

It's today's biggest story/rumor of the day. The word on the street is that Nintendo is about to show off their new console this year at E3. And that it's coming out next year. Big shocker yeah we know blah blah blah... c'mon now! We knew this was going to happen, right? The Wii is turning 5 this year, developers and publishers are pushing for new hardware, and the Wii is really starting to show its age. A Wii 2 is inevitable, ladies. No need to go apeshit yet.


Wait... nobody is going apeshit yet except for the press with their supposed details and features of the Super Wii. Blu-ray, graphics more powerful than PS3, 3D, crazy new controllers with screens, 1080p, hardcore appeal, and backwards compatibility (actually that one has to be true.) All that is lovely, but we're all waiting for that one innovative nugget of information... like gameplay via mind control or robot buddy. So let's do the world a favor and wait until E3 when Mr. Iwata walks on stage and reveals the next Wii you can control with your heart via some kind of vitality sensing device.

Nothing to see here, folks. Go back to hyping Portal 2.
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There has been no advertising for Portal 2.

Portal 2. It's almost here and I know that because I can hear the hordes of Valve fanboys jerking off in the distance... or is that just my neighbor? Anyway, the hype is at critical mass due in large part to people talking about Portal 2 coming out next week. Yes, Valve has been quite mum about the whole thing and not releasing new trailers, screenshots, or placing various Easter eggs throughout numerous games. Yep, Valve hasn't made any effort to push...


Well maybe just a tiny little reminder Portal 2 exists, but that's it. The efforts to get the word out have been lackluster at best and...
  


Hmm... sly move there, but you're still avoiding the tried and true advertising techniques like billboards and...

OH COME ON NOW!

JESUS CHRIST!
You win, Aperture Science. Looks like Gabe will be able to afford that house made of solid gold he always wanted. Well played, good luck, and as always, have Batman.
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What do Pokemon taste like?

You all know of the Pokemon, their powers, type, look, color, zodiac sign, etc. But Pokemon are just animals, right? Strange animals, but still living things. Living things we can eat. So what would a Pikachu taste like? How about a Squirtle? Piplups might be pretty delicious deep-fried.


Fun fact: in Korea, the Houndoom is considered a delicacy.

The tastiest Pokemon will get my final copy of World of Goo I've been wanting to get rid of.
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How to end the Wii with a bang.

I guess the general consensus is that the Wii is witnessing its first real game drought. Some say it's a sign that a Wii 2 is looming, others might argue the Wii was suffering from a permanent game drought. So how can Nintendo send the Wii off into the sunset? That's why I'm here because I'm a man with suggestions.


  • Take a chance on games that are mad Japanese. The Last Story, Xenoblade, and Pandora's Tower don't quite follow the standard Nintendo style, but we all know the Wii can only benefit from having a wide variety of games across all genres. And even though all of them are considered RPGs according to Giant Bomb and none of these games have much of a chance of success in America, this can be a way to appease disgruntled Wii fans looking for new shit to waggle. I think Nintendo has made some interesting moves in the past with Baten Kaitos and Chibi-Robo arriving late in the Gamecube era so it's not out of the realm of possibility these games will be shipped outside of Japan. There are signs that The Last Story and Xenoblade will be released in America and Pandora's Tower might have Western appeal so I'm hoping these games will close out the Wii's run with games that are the complete opposite of the Wii Sports/Mario deluge we knew and loved. And the best part is they're actually more original than almost anything we've seen come from Nintendo this generation.
  • I can't stress this enough. F-Zero and Star Fox. Fox McCloud and Captain Falcon need work, dammit!
  • Release any and all Virtual Console games that are ready to be unleashed. I've stressed enough in the past about the lack of VC support the past year or two and everybody knows the way to solve the problem is to add more games.
  • Make sure Skyward Sword is amazing! Zelda games are known for their quality, but skeptics will always exist and Zelda skeptics have been vocal about the art style, the combat, and other details... and the lack of information just adds to the skepticism. We Zelda fans expect perfection (because we're assholes) and usually Nintendo gets as close to perfection as they can.
  • One last Wii *insert word* game for the road. We've played sports, played... other games, got ourselves fit, partied hard, and made shitty music together. A few of you even got their chess on. Either revisit one of those or better yet, try something new. Like a sexy game show game for the Wii or something... like if You Don't Know Jack meets Wii Sports and had a baby with the bastard child of Double Dare and Bayonetta... with RPG elements.

I haven't decided if I should e-mail these ideas to Nintendo or to send them via carrier pigeon, but that's not important. What's important is family, friends, and money. Especially money. Money you can use to buy happiness in the form of meth.

  • Forgot one. You can blow up your Wii with explosives. Boom goes the dynamite?
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Contemplating a Team Fortress garage sale.

Trading has slowly become a nuisance for me and it's all because of one item.


You have hat made from little buddy.
I have one of the more coveted hats in Team Fortress 2, a level 100 Max's Severed Head. And since I do flaunt my hat around like I'm awesome, that means people want to trade. And get pissed when I refuse. It's weird how some Team Fortress 2 hats became more valuable than the game you need to use the damn headgear, but people are strange and stupid. So I'm thinking about taking advantage of said stupidity and considering trading my severed head for some loot. If you're interested, throw out an offer and I'll reject it... unless it's a juicy offer.

And just to make it official, here's what I owns.

And with that said, the stuff that people will part with to score a rare hat in Team Fortress 2 is scary and confusing to me. Now I have no problem with accessorizing your dudes (or your lady Pyro?) but when I hear stories of people paying good money for the rarest of items, I ask myself this simple question.

Goodnight everyone.

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What's with the potatoes?

And why did they show up in my game
 
April 1st is the day of the liar, the asshole, and the motherfucker, but it's also a day when the internet tries to be funny. Sometimes it works, sometimes it fails, often it fails. Steam had some fun today with several updates which added things like "bugs" and "better ammo" in Super Meat Boy. Team Meat went a step further with Tofu Boy's more tolerant brother, Potato Boy. After a minute of play, I realized he's like a slightly faster Tofu Boy. 

FEED ME!
He'd make a great plate of fries someday. 
 

And now, my final thought.

 
  • Long John Silver's is still nasty shit. It's a good thing I only venture into one of those places once every 3 or 4 years.
  • We should finally release Rebecca Black into the wild to roam free without any interaction with the internet and society. She's starting to blend in and make light of her awful, awful song. It's been fun and she made some cash out of the deal, but let's move on.
  • Giant Bomb looks only mildly different. Subtle, yet sleek.
  • BASEBALL!
  • That Saints Row: The Third trailer was appropriate and hilarious. I like how it's becoming more and more like the anti-GTA. If THQ can make a half-decent port of it on the PC, they might have my money. Maybe.
  • Note to the staff: fix the chat, please. You already know that, but it must be drilled in your heads.
 
Have a fun fun fun fun Friday... and Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards. And Monday after that.
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Who really is Batman?


I'm Batman.

No. I'm Batman.

I'm Batman.

You're not Batman.

It is I who am Batman.

I'm Bat Boy!

I'm Cat Man!

We're Batman!

I'm Batmin.

I'm Bradman!

I'm awesome.

I'm Batman.

Really, I'm Batman.

I'm hungry.

Fuck this blog!
And fuck April Fools' Day! 
 
And finally, I'm Batman.
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The brackets revisited.

The biggest tournament of the year started about two weeks ago and like many Americans (presidents included) I filled out a bracket, but this year turned out to be a year of upsets and Cinderella teams. So for reference, here's my bracket

Go Fighting Luchadeer!
And here are the actual results as of today.* 

The tournament bracket so far.
I was fairly successful with my 1st (or 2nd round as they call it now) picks except I had Jeff Gerstmann going all the way to the championship only to be upset by the plucky Rich Gallup. It got much worse as all of my Final Four picks were eventually knocked off including Duke... er, I mean Luchadeer. However I'm glad to see "The community is still a threat!" making a shocking run to the Final Four. So I'm rooting for good ol' TCISAT! 
 
* Brackets based on the actual 2011 NCAA Basketball Men's Tournament Bracket so don't bitch at me if your team didn't win. Blame Butler. Or VCU.
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How does River City Ransom 2 sound to you?

WiiWare might get some more credibility with this little retro nugget. River City Ransom 2 is officially going to be a thing. At least in Japan. Sources say that some of those who worked on the original are currently working on the sequel that I guess is 20 years in the making? That's like one and a half Duke Nukem Forevers! I can't say I'm excited for it just yet since there's no official news on a release in the US, but if it's following the Technos revival they're pushing with that dodgeball game (in stores now) I can support this move. It's also coming to the PC later which means the game will eventually be announced for Xbox Live and PSN... as they cancel the WiiWare version. 
 
Now we need another unofficial Renegade sequel so Miracle Kidz, there's your next project!

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This generation is lacking in new mascots.


Eh, close enough.
Mascots? Yes, mascots. 
 
The video game industry has relied heavily on video game mascots since the days of Pac-Man and Donkey Kong, but this generation might be the first generation that has forgotten how to make a great kid-friendly, yet universally appealing mascot. This generation is filled with ultra-realism or space marine action (not that there's anything wrong with those games) yet traditional video game characters are being ignored even though I believe there's still room for the typical anthropomorphic heroes and cartoon human protagonists. From the top of my head, I can think of only 3 new characters this year that can achieve mascot status. 
 
  • Sackboy could eventually become Sony's equivalent of Sonic or even Mario as a character that can define the company. Sackboy is just the most recent creation Sony can call their own, but Sony has probably been the most aggressive company in the past several years when it comes to creating fresh characters to compete with Nintendo's stack of 80s and 90s stalwarts. After Sony ditched Crash Bandicoot and Spyro, they just ramped it up last generation with Ratchet & Clank, Jak & Daxter, and Sly Cooper. This generation, the only new boy in town is Sackboy, but give him credit for being pretty good at his craft. He's a master of disguise and damn near adorable, something we need to see more often.
  • The Rabbids are really more of a race than a single character, but they've managed to screw Rayman over by taking over the Ubisoft mascot scene. Yes, they're mostly about minigames, but at least a little bit of love is put into the games unlike the tsunami of half-assed minigames during the Wii's early days. Maye the Rabbid craze has faded a bit due to overexposure, but they can still make me laugh... maybe it's because they're the most French of the mascots we've seen lately.
  • And finally, de Blob. THQ stumbled upon a family-friendly game that's not based on a Disney movie or rhymes with Plungemob Snarechants. de Blob reminds me a bit of Kirby with Sonic's attitude circa 1992, before Sega ruined him. I was glad to see de Blob get a sequel as well as widening his audience to the HD crowd and I'd like to see it pay off.
 
The aforementioned mascots of this generation are doing their damnedest, but what about the established mascots? Mario and Sonic are forever going to exist, but why no Rayman? Where's Jak & Daxter? Or Fox McCloud? Or fucking Conker? I'm gonna have to call out Nintendo a little bit here for not helping this situation by relying a little too much on Mario (although Galaxy 1 and 2 and New Super Mario Bros. were amazing) and forgetting how to make new characters that aren't Miis. And maybe that's the problem? Miis, Avatars, and... avatars could be partially responsible. Also, where the hell is Microsoft? 
 
So is the traditional video game mascot yesterday's news or am I paranoid?
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