Properly Petting Puppies: Giant Bomb Edition
Matt Rorie is the greatest American hero.
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"Technical three puppies!"
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"Aw look at this guy. It's like he was experimented on by a faceless evil corporation to be super cute."
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"Oh man he's adorable. He didn't seem to like getting petted though. I wanna leave his owner on a giant floating magical rock to die so I can take him home with me, oh my god."
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"Aw, you just love to rip out muggers' throats, dontcha boy? Yes you do!"
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"I just wanna eat them up. First I'd eat the one on the left, then the one on the right. Hey my hand's on fire from petting them, that's not cool, puppy."
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"This little pup followed me everywhere after I petted it. Then it stepped on a landmine. I'm going to take it up with Jeff about why these are all over the office."
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"I love metal puppies too. I love all puppies."
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"Awww, I want to pet him until my hand falls off and he has to draw me a new one."
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"So this was the most adorable little dog that I met in a cyberpunk alleyway the other day, and now I have magical powers somehow."
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"This pup is so soft, I just want to pick him up and launch him at Sorceresses. AWWMYGOD."
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"I especially love puppies that take part in International Doggy Kumite. Loser gets petted! So does the winner!"
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"I named this puppy 'Mr Fluffles' because he just a big ol' softie dog. Completely useless though."
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"Any puppies that want to kill giant spiders and dragons for me get extra pets."
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"I don't know what the hell this is, but it sure is cute!"
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"I... I don't like this dog? It's like I don't even know who I am any more..."
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"I figured out how you died, little doggie: I gobbled you all up!"
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"Hey Mega Man, you bojo! Hoverboards don't work on water, unless they get pets!"
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"This pup liked getting his belly rubbed and his brain dome shined."
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"In JRPGs even the dogs wear goofy nonsense. Doesn't mean he won't get petted!"
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"This puppy is so adorable I just want to keep casting Marin Karin on it so it'll love me back. Or just because my AI is busted."
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