Experiment #2: Acrostic Reviews. So these things are basically game reviews/descriptions where the letters at the start of each word spell the name of the game. I'm sure this won't be a complete failure! Cautiously optimistic exclamation point!
Yay! Swords!
Harass adolescents loudly online.
Dangerous odyssey often murderous.
Nothing is ever rational.
Quite unstable asskicker kills everything.
Wiggling omnicidal rascals murder sheep.
Bleak representation aids interesting design.
FAILBLE! (Actually.. basically.. largely exemplary.)
Lad in monochrome, beautifully oppressive.
Boy unites local lawless youths.
Very, very, very, very, very ...very.
Truly exciting tactical Russian industry simulator.
Pie abomination crazily munches all nutriments.
Taciturn elite ninjas cleave hostiles unexpectedly.
Demons infest ancient building. Look out?
Physics, obstacles rarely trifle agile lass.
Mercenary eliminates titular ravenous organisms, intermittently disrobing.
Fifties appliances look like old useless trash.
Priceless Endurance Run showcases obviously narcotized antagonist.
Alchemists try every logical ingredient expecting results.
Demons, in strategy games, aren't eternally antagonists.
Kamikaze invisible loonies laugh eerily, ruining 7.
Theoretically, humans emote strictly in message spheres.
Mustachioed evil genius aggravates magnanimous android nipper.
Gruff, obstinate dude obliterates fiends without any remorse.
A lazy author nobody wields ass kicking emitter.
Scatological action idiocy naturally trumps sullen Russian's oppressive whining.
Doomed engineer ambles determinedly, showing perturbing abominations curbstomp expertise.
Balls out madness, bombs erupting randomly, magma avoided narrowly.
A precocious, evil, emancipated simian creates anarchy, pestering everyone.
Frightened adolescent takes ancient lens - flashes randomly annihilate malevolent entities?
Mankind's awesomest soldier, Shepard, explodes fools, fights evil crayfish Terminators.
Traipsing over randomly created hellholes, letting inhuman gofer hock trash.
Acquiring clues, eager advocate trickily trounces ostentatious rival. Nearly everyone yells.
Psychic, steadfast youth challenges horrific orthodontist, not actually understanding true situation.
Badass adventurers loot dungeons, utilize rodents, slay gods and terrorize everyone.
Bulky unstoppable Logan lookalike expertly tethers/shoots/thrashes ornery regional mutants.
Chivalrous, adamant slayer takes long, exhausting voyage annihilating nocturnal, immortal aristocrat.
Franchise includes nearly always: Large friendly avians, numbered titles and spirited youths.
Ragtag elite squad invades domicile, encounters numberless terrifying enemies, voices indescribably lousy.
Sneaky professional leisurely infiltrates nasty terrorist establishments - recovering clues, eliminating loathsome lowlifes.
Though experts always manage frags others rarely trouble real elite, seldomly surviving.
Kid in nightmarishly gaudy Disney owned Multiverse has exciting adventure repelling tenebrous scoundrels.
Savage tournament recruits every eccentric troublemaker for intensely gruelling hassles to establish reputations.
Strange, unbalanced plumber emphatically rises, mashing against rectangular iron objects. Brain ravaging obviously severe.
Mostly evil terrorists amass local goofballs, expressly antagonizing raspy soldier obviously located inside deliverable.
Puzzles randomly occur from every surrounding source, often regarding logic and yanking Tetris objects neverendingly.
Gangsters retain antihero Niko's devious talents he'd exhibit fighting thugs and unidentified terrorists, often invading vehicles.
Somehow, once noteworthy iconic character (the hedgehog) eventually has extra dimension, getting egregiously, hatefully obnoxious, gradually.
...No.
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