No More Naked Men

i'm not going to tell you any spoilers, I'm not going to give you my complete opinion, I'm just gonna let you know a few things about this Watchmen movie.
If you've never read the graphic novel, it's too late to start. You're going to watch it, and you're going to be corrupted by the movie version first, just as I was corrupted by the graphic novel. So, that said, here we go:

Best CGI: Dr. Manhatten. They got his glowy skin deal going on pretty accurately
Worst CGI: Bubastis. I mean, a snow leopard with deer antlers would've been more believable.

Best Sticking to the plot element: The characters. Absolutely spot on. Dan's still a wimp, Rorschack scares the poop out of me, and the Comedian, actually if anything, improved.
Worst Sticking to the plot element: Everything after the sex scene.

My favorite moment: Rorschack's "Never compromise" speech
My least favorite moment: Everything after the sex scene.

So yeah, I haven't wanted to walk out of a theater in a long time, so that was a cool experience. I loved that it stuck to the time period. I loved that the comedic element was expounded upon to make its point about human nature. I hated that the point came at the price of a rather ridiculous film.

Also, There's a lot of penises. It came to the point that a guy in front of us shouted "NO MORE NAKED MEN". Which gained a round of applause from the audience.
Okay. That's my review.

I hope you read the graphic novel.
<3 V


Dear Twitter

I've noticed that Twitter has been growing in popularity. This can only mean one of two things: 1) the apocolypse is coming 2) Common sense is becoming less common. I have been boycotting the masses ("Twitter is the opiate of the masses!" -Marx) because this is what I think twitter means:

Friday 2:52pm Virago is getting out of bed
Friday 2:52pm Virago can't find her pants
Friday 2:54pm Virago is looking for her pants
Friday 2:54pm Virago found a marshamllo! nom nom nom
Friday 3:01pm Virago called in a missing pants report
Friday 3:02pm Virago needs a lawyer
Friday 3:04pm Virago just wants her phone call
Friday 3:05pm Virago just wants her damn phone call
Friday 3:06pm Virago no really give me my phone call
Friday 3:09pm Virago is Nikki's bitch
Friday 3:15pm Virago loves Nikki
Friday 3:19pm Virago is a little scared of Nikki...
Friday 3:45pm Virago has been moved to rehab =)
Friday 3:45pm Virago omgz! i <3 rehab!
Wednesday 1:05am Virago is so lonely...

See? That's all you're missing out on. So i'm gonna go ahead and just stick with my facestalks and giantbombs, if that's cool with all of you.

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Flash me baby

I don't know if you've heard, but Flash CS4 came out and rumor has it that it's the same as CS3. But I would like to assure you that it's NOT. It's better. It is SO MUCH better. But it's a bitch to figure out. The Tweening has been revolutionized, there's no 'guide' button, you can create a path simply by moving the object and manipulating this new line thing that comes up, and the layout is flipped entirely.

So that's what I've been doing. It's been distracting me from the important things in life, like comic books and video games and eating.



If your xbox could blog...

<PREAMBLE: This post relates to Thunderball65's topic)

...what would it say? I asked my xbox this very question today, and it gave the following report:

6 January, 2008
Day 102
Sometimes i look outside the window and wonder what lays beyond those lacey curtains. I was meant for greater things. Yes, video games are nice and all, but... is there more to life than just opening and shutting my disc? More than just 1001010110110100010101010101100 until I red ring? God forbid I red ring. I'm too young to see that light. I always wanted to be a broadway actor... sing and dance in Cats... oh woe is--"

Then I turned it off.


Not that I endorse heavy drinking...

...But I can now legally drink (in america) and do adult stuff*. I am now old. I am now deteriorating. I must drink preserves to stave off death!

Aqua Vitae

*disclaimer: just because i'm old enough, doesn't mean i'll act like it. 

I'm Quoting You on That

So my "About Me" section was getting a little long. And by "a little" I mean effing ridiculous. Therefore... i'm moving it allllll to a blog and putting something snarky in the AM part. Now you can comment on all the things you've said in public.

"I love them. The sadness. The happiness. Sparks of hope tinged with black spores of anxiety. Each one, its own capsule of burgeoning existentialism. Don't quote me on this"  - Jayge on girl-help threads
"Yia nebudu pokupat etot record potumushto on tsarapin" ("I will not buy this record, it is scratched") - Jolly Lolly
"dont name that dog rajah ....its a dog not a gay nightclub bouncer" - ZombieHunter
"Chuck Norris was a false prophet, Phelps is the "One"" - Dual Reaver
"Where do you think the bible got it's roots from? Wikipedia" - Shawn
Oni: Is virago a comic book godhand?
Godhand: that's the greatest comic book
"you know, i just tried to sell used my sexy time?" - godhand
"WAIT WAIT" - Rowr
""When there's a trap, set up for you. In every corner of your room. And so you learn the only way to go is through the roof." Well I have a black hole in my pants! Bow Chicka Bow Wow!" - Kush
 i predict virago is a lesbian but you cant stop thinkin bout doing it bitch!! - godhand
"It's written in stone and then in the bible...that if a girl is on a gaming website...whether she be real or not, "she" is into chicks. She must also be an angry lesbian because as the almighty "Chasing Amy" has taught's that hott, friendly lesbians are just a figment of our imagination...much like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny." Kush

"I like my women like I like my canine diseases: foamy and insane" - MaSuTa

"I hate all religion. I'm a devout cunt" -Sweep

"I sat here for a few hours, trying to think of how to get on your quotes section...... So.......... WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO VIRAGO IS JESUS INCARNATE! GO VIRAGO!!!!!!!!! F#CK YEAH" - TheDirfter

ic, well i was chasing sheep today, and wrestling koala's - Rowr

One day I'll know things! And then you'll see! - MaSuTa


SuperMooseman>    licks MB

MB>    lower please


"Viva La Virago's pretty good" - Jetamo

"Dude, if you ever wanna find an asshole, be a girl on the internet" -Lies

"I had two tickets to paradise... But somehow I ended up in New York" -Matt Bodega

"Make Lover Here Virago.. *Mac" - ZeroCast

"I'm king midas, bitch" - Sheepy

"My heart is made of stone.. and also of blood" - Matty B

"I'm like a shark, if I don't stop talking I'll die" - Matty B

"Touchdown for the Yankees" - JackiJinx


And I Will Whisper "No"

These thoughts belong to me. Which is why I'm no longer putting these on the forums.

I was playing fable today, and i noticed that i really hate dying in games. Yeah, yeah, so does everyone. wait -- i shouldn't generalize, because *latin for "war"* probably likes dying in games. Most normal people who enjoy living do not enjoy dying. So then i'm thinking about dying, and I hear the crazy lady walk down the alley, and I wonder why she's alive. She's not the world's greatest addition to society. In fact, there are a shit load of people society might be better off without, and who gets to decide who's significant and who's not, and why vigilantes aren't always the Good Guys (yeah, even batman can be a bitch). So now I'm thinking about the Watchmen, and how fucking awful The Comedian is. I mean (SPOILERS) what kind of a hero shoots a pregnant woman? (SPOILERS OVER). There's nothing funny about that. Does being a jerk make you funny? Sometimes

I'm totally worried about this movie. The writing is effing brilliant (note to self: Alan Moore is your new demigod) and the art is... well it's 1985. But I don't hate it. I really don't hate it. I might even *gasp* like it. And anything I like this much I want to preserve and go fangirl-bats over it and not want MTV to lay its fickle finger of Fucked-Over on it. The best line in the book (it's first page, no spoilers) "The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "save us!" and I'll look down and whisper "no" was changed, at least in the trailer, "The world will look up and shout "save us!" wtf is that? You're depleting this glorious dialogue! Whores and politicians! Not the whole world. Some of the world is okay. Like puppies. And a good, tawny port. 


Right, back to Fable and video games. I'm gonna go ahead and say it. Are you ready? Video games  suck up your time. Video games bring you closer to death. In fact, everyone who plays video games will DIE. Same is true for everyone who reads comic books. Everyone who sleeps in past noon. Everyone. Dies. So fuck it. Who is Rorschach to tell me to live with an upstanding moral diet? That's boring. Granted shooting people in the face is pretty low (in RL, not GoW -- that's totally fine), there's such a strange borderline of morals. It makes me wonder... I dunno, it makes me wonder why there aren't more heroes. Is corruption really that inevitable? 

There ya go. That's my wall of text. Mainly for people who actually use their brains for more than... well you know who you are.

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What Makes YOU a Troll?

That's right, you heard me. We've all thrown around a NO U comment, posted the occasional star trek facepalm, maybe even put on your robe and wizard hat. 

Colbert knows

But that doesn't make you a troll. Even visiting the same threads over and over doesn't make you a troll. Nor does stalking a fellow user and posting on their wall all day qualify as troll behaviour. 

What makes someone a troll is pissing other people off. As long as people like you, they're gonna put up with you (unless you hate star wars). Now before you spam my wall in protest, hold on to those knickers and let me finish my train of thought. If a well-to-do user  posts "this thread sucks" on, say, THIS topic, people would probably call him or her a lulz killer (wink) but not much more. Now if that same comment is posted by a trouble maker, he or she is gonna get a PM or a slap on the wrist due to multiple offenses. 

Why is it always the left hand?

You're grinding your teeth right now. I hear it. Your dentist is not going to approve, so I'll jump to the point. It really pisses people off when you do the same thing over and over after you've been asked to cut it out. No one (well maybe this guy) wants to see the same post 10 times on the same thread, watch the same pictures posted over and over, or be attacked with a bombardment of rude, personal comments. Then the brute squad gets called in to put foot to ass, because you're pissing off other users who are far nicer and much more well behaved than you.


You Are The Brute Squad.

So what makes you a troll? Pissing me off. So don't get all warm and fuzzy inside when someone at last acknowledges your presence and tells you to screw off; it's not a compliment. If you want attention, be a decent human being and gain the respect of your peers some other way.

In the words of the Red team: 

Suck it blue. 

"I only drink the blood of my enemies!"

<3 Virago


Teh Gurl Gamzer

I wasn't a gamer. You all know that. I was a comic book nerd from Comic Vine who occasionally dabled in Zelda and SSB's Melee and Brawl. I know my Batman and Spider-man and X-men and the beloved Madame Mirage front to back, up to down. But video games? A taboo area for girls. Up until a few years ago, it's been a "boys club" that a few girls sneak into every so often thanks to older brothers or Star Wars Obsessed Boyfriends. But then you get the crazy girls. And this next part is my reflection from a review of Raychel Moore's blog. 

OH EM GEE, Becky, I like, totally PWNED you

Okay. Do you see this magazine? This is why I hate the clique of girl gamers. Because I don't want to see some plastic girl playing a pink video game. i mean, go google "girl gamer" on google. It looks like This. I could care less. This kind of thing only increases the distance between girl gamers and boy gamers. Boys like one thing, so give 'em Call of Duty, girls like the other, so give them Princes Debut. Eff that. Understandably, the industry wants to profit and uses gender roles to get that money. Fine. Do your thing. But don't generalize. Give me a magazine with a nerdy girl on it who plays real games.

Alright. Now that I've said that. I need to confront the issue of crazy, backstabbing girls. Now, personally, I haven't seen any on GB, mostly because Brukaoru is the only girl I've seen who has stuck around longer than two weeks. But go play WoW-- wait. no, don't do that. Watch this: 

Raychel Moore attributes this to the territorial "attention whores" that troll the internet. "Who are these whores?" you ask? Well they're the girls who game to get into that "boys club". The girls who think being a girl gamer will get them points with the boys, and boost their self esteem. This usually means that when another girl joins, cat fights ensue. "THESE R MAI BOYS, BACK OFF HOE".  

Now, my lovely bombers, I have a confession. I love your attention, and nothing can cheer me up more than getting on the IRC and saying "i've had a bad day *frowny face*". But listen, and listen well: I'm not gonna show you my boobs, not now, not ever Casey. I don't thrive on hearing "omgz it's a girl, ToGTFO". nah. eff that. Some of my favorite compliments are when a newbie posts "yeah, Virago's a cool guy. He knows what he's talking about". That doesn't mean boys are better, it just means I don't sound like another IC9. 

To conclude, I don't care if you think I'm a chick or not (yeah, you know who you are), nor will I try to prove to you that I'm a hardcore gamer (because lets face it... I'm not). But I do love video games because they're fun. Some are even artistic (more on that HERE) and make you use your head for more than just a hat stand. 

So for all of you who read my lovely wall of text, I shake your hand, and give you a less than three. Especially my stalker, Ron Jeremy.